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Mr. Jes. Upon my word, a pretty elegant dressing room this ; but confound our builders, or architects, as they call themselves, they are all errant stone. masons; not one of them know the situation of doors, windows, or chimnies; which are as essential to a room as eyes, nose and mouth to a countenance. Now, if the eyes are where the mouth should be, and the nose out of proportion and its place : quelle horrible physionomie?
Dian. My dear brother, you are not come here as a virtuoso to admire the temple ; but as a votary to address the deity to whom it belongs. Shew, I beseech you, a little more devotion, and tell me, how do you like Miss Flowerdale ? don't you think her very handsome ?
Mr. Jes. Pale ; --but that I am determined she shall remedy ; for, as soon as we are married, I will make her put on rouge :--Let me see ;-has she got any in her boxes here; Veritable toilet a l'Angloise. Nothing but a bottle of Hungary-water, two or three rows of pins, a paper of patches, and a little bole-armoniac by way of tooth-powder.
450 Dian. Brother, I would fain give you some advice upon this occasion, which may be of service to you ; You are now going to entertain a young Lady-Let me prevail upon you to lay aside those airs, on ac. count of which, some people are impertinent enough to call you a coxcomb; for, I am afraid, she may be apt to think you a coxcomb too, as I assure you, she is very capable of distinguishing.
Mr. Jes. So much the worse for me.--If she is capable of distinguishing, I shall meet with a terrible repulse. I don't believe she'll have me.
Dian. I don't believe she will, indeed.
Dian. I protest I am serious-Though, I perceive, you have more faith in the counsellor before you there, the looking-glass. But give me leave to tell you, it is not a powder'd head, a lac'd coat, a grimace, a shrug, a bow, or a few pert phrases, learnt by rote, that constitutes the power of pleasing all
470 Mr. Jes. You had better return to the gentleman, and give him his tea, my dear,
Dian. These qualifications we find in our parrots and monkies. Į would undertake to teach Poll, in three weeks, the fashionable jargon of half the fine men about town; and I am sure it must be allowed, that pug, in a scarlet coat, is a gentleman as degage and alluring as most of them.
Ladies, pray admire a figure,
While his fore-top's so high,
Then his waist so long and taper,
hair, And call myself a Man.
CLARISSA, Mr. JESSAMY. Clar. Sir, I took the liberty to desire a few moment's private conversation with you—I hope you
will excuse it-I am, really, greatly embarrassed. But, in an affair of such immediate consequence to us both
Mr. Jes. My dear creature, don't be embarrass'd before me; I should be extremely sorry to strike you with any awe; but, this is a species of mauvaise honte, which the company I shall introduce you to, will soon cure you of.
Clar. Upon my word, Sir, I don't understand you.
Mr. Jes. Perhaps you may be under some uneasi.. ness lest I should not be quite so warm in the prosecution of this affair, as you could wish : it is true with regard to quality, I might do better; and, with regard to fortune, full as well—But, you please meUpon my soul, I have not met with any thing more agreeable to me a great while.
Clar. Pray, Sir, keep your seat.
Mr. Jes. Mauvaise honte again. My dear, there is nothing in these little familiarities between you and me-When we are married, I shall do every thing to render your life happy.
509 Clar. Ah! Sir, pardon me. The happiness of my life depends upon a circumstance
Mr. Jes. Oh! I understand you—You have been told, I suppose, of the Italian opera girl-Rat peoples' tongues—However, 'tis true, I had an affair with her at Naples, and she is now here. But, be satisfied: I'll give her a thousand pounds, and send her about her business.
Clar. Me, Sir! I protest nobody told me-Lord ! I never heard any such thing, or enquired about it.
Mr. Jes. No ! have they not been chattering to you of my affair at Pisa, with the Principessa del
Clar. No, indeed, Sir.
Mr. Jes. Well, I was afraid they might, because, in this rude country-But, why silent on a sudden? -don't be afraid to speak.
Clar. No, Sir, I will come to the subject, on which I took the liberty to trouble you-Indeed, I have great reliance on your generosity.
Mr. Jes. You'll find me generous as a prince, depend on't.
530 Clar. I am bless'd, Sir, with one of the best of fa. thers: I never yet disobeyed him; in which I have had little merit; for his commands hitherto have only been to secure my own felicity.
54° Mr. Jes. Apres ma chere
Clar. But now, Sir, I am under the shocking necessity of disobeying him, or being wretched for ever.
Mr. Jes. Hem !
Clar. Our union is impossible—my present situation —the gloomy prospect before me—the inquietude of
Throb within my troubled breast ;
That is doom'd to give thee rest?
Cruel stars! that thus torment me,
Still I seek for ease in vain,
With variety of pain.