« PreviousContinue »
Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to||I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of. come!
Feni. Nay, master Page, be not impatient. Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth
Mrs. Page. Good master Fenton, come not to Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value Page. She is no match for you. Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags; Fent. Sir, will you hear me? And 'tis the very riches of thyself
No, good master Fenton. That now I aim at.
Come, master Shallow : come, son Slender; in :Anne. Gentle master Fenton,
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton. Yet seek my father's love: still seek it, sir :
(Ereúnt Page, Shallow, and Slender. If opportunity and humble suit
Quick. Speak to mistress Page. Cannot attain it, why then--Hark you hither. Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your (They converse a part.
In such a righteous fashion as I do, Enter Shallow, Slender, and Mrs. Quickly.
Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners, Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly; my I must advance the colours of my love, kinsman shall speak for himself.
And not retire : let me have your good will. Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't :' slid, 'tis Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond' but venturing
fool. Shal. Be not dismay'd.
Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not
husband. for that --but that I am afeard.
Quick. That's my master, master doctor. Quick. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth, word with you
And bowl'd to death with turnips. Anne. I come to him. This is my father's choice. Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: good 0, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults
master Fenton, Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year! I will not be your friend, nor enemy :
(Aside. | My daughter will I question how she loves you, Quick. And how does good master Fenton ? || And as I find her, so am I affected; Pray you, a word with you.
'Till then, farewell, sir :-She must needs go in; Shal
. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou Her father will be angry. hadst a father!
(Ereunt Mrs. Page and Anne. Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne ;-my uncle Feni. Farewell, gentle mistress ; farewell, Nan. can tell you good jests of him :--Pray you, uncle, Quick. This is my doing now ;-Nay, said I, will iell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? geese out of a pen, good uncle.
Look on master Fenton :- this is my doing. Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman
night in Glocestershire.
Give my sweet Nan this ring : there's for thy pains Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.
(Exit Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail,? Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A under the degree of a squire.
kind heart he hath: a woman would run through Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty | fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I pounds jointure.
would my master had mistress Anne; or I would Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would himself.
master Fenton had her : I will do what I can for Shal. Marry, I thank you for it ; I thank you for them all three ; for so I have promised, and I'll be that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave as good as my word; but speciouslya for master you.
Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to sir John Anne. Now, master Slender.
Falstaff from my two mistresses ; what a beast am Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
I to slacks it !
(Exit. Anne. What is your will ?
Slen. My will? od's beartlings, that's a pretty | SCENE V.-A room in the Garter Inn. Enter jest, indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank
Falstaff and Bardolph. heaven ; I am not such a sickly creature, I give beaven praise.
Fal. Bardolph, I say,—
Bard. Here, sir. Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me?
Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. Sien. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or
(Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, nothing with you : your father, and my uncle, have like a barrow of butcher's oftal; and to be thrown made motions : if it be my luck, so : if not, happy other trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and but
into the Thames? Well; if I be served such anman be his dole !3 They can tell you how things go ||terd, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift
. better than I can: you may ask your father ; bere The rogues slighted me into the river with as little be comes
remorses as they would have drown'd a bitch's Enter Page, and Mistress Page.
blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter : and you may
know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in Page. Now, master Slender :-Love him, daugh-| sinking: if the bottom were as deep as bell, I should ter Anne.
down. I had been drowned, but that the shore was Why, how now! what does master Fenton here? shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house : water swells a man; and what a thing should I
(1) A proverb shaft was a long arrow, and a (2) Come poor or rich. (3) Lot (4) Specially. bolt a thick short one.
(5) Neglect. (6) Pity.
have been, when I had been swelled! I should Ford. What, while you were there? have been a mountain of mummy.
Fal. While I was there.
Ford. And did he search for you, and could not
Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence
of Ford's approach; and, by her invention, and Fal
. Come, let me pour in some sack to th: | Ford's wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a Thames water; for my belly's as cold, as if I had buck-basket. swallowed snow-balls for pills to cool the reins. Ford. A buck-basket! Call her in.
Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket: rammed me
in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings,
greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was
the rankest compound of villanous sinell, that ever
offended nostril. Quick. By your leave; I cry you mercy: give
Ford. And how long lay you there? your worship good-morrow. Fal . Take away these chalices :' go brew me a || have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your
Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I pottle of sack finely.
good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple Bard. With sir? Fal. Simple of itself ; I'll no pullet-sperm in my || their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul
of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by brewage.--(Exit Bardolph.]–How now?
clothes to Datchet-lane : they took me on their Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from | shoulders; met the jealous knave, their master, in mistress Ford. Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: 1.|| had in their basket : I quaked for fear, lest the lu
the door ; who asked them once or twice what they was thrown into the ford : I have my belly full of natic knave would have searched it; but Fate, orford. Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not Well: on went he for a search, and away went I
daining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. her fault; she does so take on with her men ; they || for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook : mistook their erection. Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish || an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous
I suffered the pangs of three several deaths : first, woman's promise. Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it good bilbo,2 in the circumference of a peck, hilt to
rotten bell-wether: next, to be compassed like a would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband | point, heel to head : and then, to be stopped in, like goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine : I must ||ted in their own grease : think of that,-a man of
a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretcarry her word quickly : she'll make you amends, I warrant you.
my kidney,—think of that; that am as subject to Fal. Well, I will visit her : tell her so; and bid | thaw ; it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And
heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and her think, what a man is : let her consider his
in the height of this bath, when I was more than frailty, and then judge of my merit.
half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be Quick. I will tell her.
thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou ?
in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that ; Quick. Eight and nine, sir.
hissing hot, -think of that, master Brook. Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.
Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for
Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Ætna,
as I have been into the Thames, ere I will leare Enter Ford.
ber thus. Her husband is this morning gone a bird
ing: I have received from her another embassy of Ford. Bless you, sir !
meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Fal. Now, master Brook ; you come to know | Brook. what hath passed between me and Ford's wife? Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir. Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business.
Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointFal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was ment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and at her house the hour she appointed me.
you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion Ford. And how speed you, sir?
shall be crowned with your enjoying ber : adieu. Fal. Very ill-favouredly, master Brook. You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, Ford. How so, sir ? Did she change her deter-li you shall cuckold Ford.
Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision ? is this a dream? Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornu- | do I sleep? Master Ford, awake; awake, master to, her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a con- Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master tinual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant Ford. This 'tis to be married ! this 'tis to have linen, of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, || and buck-baskets !--Well, I will proclaim myself protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my our comedy ; and at his heels a rabble of his com- house: he cannot ’scape me; 'tis impossible he panions, thither provoked and instigated by his dis- should; be cannot creep into a half-penny purse, temper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that wife's love.
guides him should aid him, I will search impossible
places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to (2) Bilboa, where the best blades are made. (3) Seriousness. (4) Make myself ready.
MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.
Scene 1, II.
be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if Eva. 'Oman, forbear.
[Exit. Eva. What is your genitive case plural, Wil.
Will. Genitive case?
Will. Genitive,-horum, harum, horum.
Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on
Eva. For shame, 'oman.
he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll
do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum:
Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no
Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.
Eva. It is ki, kæ, cod; if you forget your kies,
your kæs, and your cods, you must be preeches.2
your ways, and play, go.
Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar, than I
Eva. He is a good sprag3 memory. Farewell,
Mrs. Page. Adieu, good sir Hugh. (Exit Sir
SCENE II.--A room in Ford's house. Enter
Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.
Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up
my sufferance: I see, you are obsequious in your
Ford, in the simple office of love, but
in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremokiam ?
ny of it. But are you sure of your husband now?
Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir John.
Mrs. Page. (Within.) What hoa, gossip Ford!
what hoa! Eva. You are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray
Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John. you, peace. What is lapis, William?
Enter Mrs. Page.
Eva. No, it is lapis; I pray you, remember in Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? who's at your prain.
home beside yourself? Will. Lapis.
Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people. Eva. That is good William. What is he, Wil- Mrs. Page. Indeed? liam, that does lend articles ?
Mrs. Ford. No, certainly;--speak louder. ( Aside. Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have noand be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, body here. hic, hæc, hoc.
Mrs. Ford. Why? Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in mark: genitivo, hujus : Well, what is your accu- his old luness again : he so takes on yonder with sative case ?
my husband; so rails against all married mankind; Wa. Accusativo, hinc.
so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion Eda. I pray you, have your remembrance, soever ; and so buffets himself on the forehead, child, Accusativo, hing, hang, hog.
crying, peer out, peer out! that any madness Í Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrantever yet beheld, seemed but tameness, civility, you.
and patience, to this his distemper he is in now :
Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him?
Mrs. Page. Of none but him ; and swears, he
in a basket : protests to my husband, he is now (1) Outrageous. (2) Breeched, i. e. flogged. (6) As children call on a snail to push forth his 3) Apt to learn. (4) Sorrowful. (5) Mad fits. || horns.
here, and hath drawn him and the rest of their || Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they company from their sport, to make another experi- | shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen ment of his suspicion : but I am glad the knight for him straight.
(Erit. is not here; now he shall see his own foolery. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we
Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? cannot misuse him enough.
Mrs. Page. Hard by ; at street end; he will We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, be here anon.
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too : Mrs. Ford. I am undone the knight is here. We do not act, that often jest and laugh;
Mrs. Page. Why, then you are utterly shamed, 'Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff. and he's but a dead man. What a woman are
(Exit. you Away with him, away with him; better shame than murder.
Re-enter Mrs. Ford, with two servants. Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how
Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?
your shoulders; your master is hard at door: if he bid you set it down, obey him : quickly, despatch.
(Exit. Re-enter Falstaff.
1 Sero. Corne, come, take it up.. Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket: may
2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight
again. I not go out, ere he come?
1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's bro
lead. thers watch the door with pistols, that none should issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he
Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh came. But what make you here?
Evans. Fal. What shall I do?-I'll creep up into the chimney.
Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, Mrs. Ford. There they always use to discharge have you any way then to unfool me again?-Set their birding-pieces : creep into the kiln-hole. down the basket, villain :-Somebody call my Fal. Where is it?
-You, youth in a basket, come out here! Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. 1-0, you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault
, but a pack, a conspiracy
against me : now shall the he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such devil be shamed. What! wife, I say! come, places, and goes to them by his note: there is no come forth ; behold what honest clothes you send hiding you in the house.
forth to bleaching: Fal. I'll go out then.
Page. Why, this passes ;4 Master Ford, you Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own sem- are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinblance, you die, sir John. Unless you go out dis-lioned. guised,
Eva. Why, this is lunatics ! this is mad as a
a mad Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him? dog! Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There
Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well ; is no woman's gown big enough for him; other- indeed. wise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.
Enter Mrs. Ford. Fal. Good hearts, devise something : any extremity, rather than a mischief.
Ford. So say I too, sir.--Come hither, mistress Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of || Ford ; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the Brentford, has a gown above.
modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him ; || jealous fool to her husband !-I suspect without she's as big as he is : - and there's her thrum'd hat,|| cause, mistress, do I? and her mufiler too: run up, sir John.
Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John: mistress you suspect me in any dishonesty. Page and I will look some linen for your head. Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out.
Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress Come forth, sirrah. you straight : put on the gown the while.
(Pulls the clothes out of the basket. [Erit Fal.
Page. This passes ! Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the him in this shape : he cannot abide the old woman clothes alone. of Brentford; he swears, she's a witch; forbade Ford. I shall find you anon. her my house, and hath threatened to beat her. Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take ap your
Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's wife's clothes ? Come away. cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel after- Ford. Empty the basket, I say. wards!
Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why,– Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming ? Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness,2 is he; and one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had in-| basket: Why may not be be there again? In my telligence.
house I am sure he is: my intelligence is true; Mrs. Ford. We'll try that ; for I'll appoint my my jealousy is reasonable : Pluck me out all the men to carry the basket again, to meet him at ti linen. door with it, as they did last time.
Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently : |die a flea's death. let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford. Page. Here's no man.
(1) Short note of.
(3) Gang. (4) Surpasses, to go beyond bounds.
Scene III, IV.
MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.
period to the jest, should he not be publicly
shape it: I would not have things cool. (Exeunt.
ter Host and Bardolph.
Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of
Host. What duke should that be, comes so
Bard. Ay, sir ; I'll call them to you.
Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brent. || them pay, I'll sauce thein: they have had my house
a week at command ; I have turned away my other
Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Sir
Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman
Page. And did he send you both these letters at
an instant ? Enter Falstaff in women's clothes, led by Mrs. Page.
Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.
Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what
I rather will suspect the sun with cold,
Erit Falstaff. || As firm as faith.
Be not as extreme in submission,
But let our plot go forward : let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Ford. There is no better way than that they
Eva. You say he has been thrown in the rivers;
Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. I should not come; methinks his flesh is punished,
Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not ;|| he shall have no desires.
Page. So think I too.
Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the And let us two devise to bring him thithér. Warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Heme conscience, parsue him with any further revenge?
the hunter, Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-Doth all the winter time, at still midnight, simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns ; think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle;
Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how weAnd makes muilch-kine yield blood, and shakes a have served him?
Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,
(4) Cry out (3) Scent.
(6) Old age. (5) Strikes