Ant. Shall I tell you why?

S. Dro. Ay, Sir, and wherefore; for they fay, every why hath a wherefore.

Ant. Why, firft, for flouting me; and then wherefore, for urging it the fecond time to me.

S.Dro. Was there ever any man thus beaten out of feason, When, in the why, and wherefore, is neither rhime nor Well, Sir, I thank you.

Ant. Thank me, Sir, for what?

[reafon ?

S. Dro. Marry, Sir, for this fomething that you gave me for nothing.

Ant. I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for fomething. But fay, Sir, is it dinner-time?

S. Dro. No, Sir, I think, the meat wants that I have. Ant. In good time, Sir; what's that ?

S. Dro. Bafting.

Ant. Well, Sir, then 'twill be dry.

S. Dro. If it be, Sir, I pray you eat none of it.
Ant. Your reafon ?

S. Dro. Left it make you cholerick, and purchase me another dry-bafting.

Ant. Well, Sir, learn to jeft in good time; there's a time for all things.

S. Dro. I durft have deny'd that, before you were fo cholerick.

Ant. By what rule, Sir?

S. Dro. Marry, Sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of father Time himself.

Ant. Let's hear it.

S. Dro. There's no time for a man to recover his hair, that grows bald by nature.

Ant. May he not do it by fine and recovery?

S. Dro. Yes, to pay a fine for a peruke, and recover the loft hair of another man.

(6) Ant. Why is Time fuch a niggard of hair, being, as it is, fo plentiful an excrement?

S. Dro.

(6) Ant. Why is Time fuch a niggard of bair, being, as it is, fa plentiful an excrement ?

S. Dro. Because it is a bleffing that be befows on beafts, and what be batb fcanted them in bair, be bath given them in wir.] Surely, this

S. Dro. Because it is a bleffing that he bestows on beafts; and what he hath fcanteď men in hair, he hath given them in wit.

Ant. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.

S. Dro. Not a man of those, but he hath the wit to lofe his hair.

Ant. Why, thou didft conclude hairy men plaindealers without wit.

8. Dro. The plainer-dealer, the fooner loft; yet he lofeth it in a kind of jollity.

Ant. For what reafon ?

S. Dro. For two, and found ones too.
Ant. Nay, not found, I pray you.
S. Dro. Sure ones then.

Ant. Nay, not fure in a thing falfing.
S. Dro. Certain ones then.

Ant. Name them.

S. Dro. The one to fave the money that he spends in tyring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge.

Ant. You would all this time have prov'd, there is no time for all things.

S. Dro. Marry, and did, Sir; namely no time to recover hair loft by nature,

Ant. But your reason was not fubftantial, why there is no time to recover.

S. Dro. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and therefore to the world's end will have bald followers. Ant. I knew, 'twould be a bald conclufion: but foft! who wafts us yonder?

Enter Adriana, and Luciana.

Adri. Ay, ay, Antipholis, look ftrange and frown, Some other mistress hath thy fweet aspects:

is mock reasoning, and a contradiction in fenfe. Can hair be fuppos'd a bleffing, which Time befows on beafts peculiarly; and yet that he hath Scanted them of it too? I corrected this paffage, as I have now reform'd the text, in my SHAKESPEAR E reftor'd; and Mr. Pope has been pleas'd to adopt my correction in his last edition. Men and Them, I obferve, are very frequently mistaken vice verfa for each other, in the old impreffions of our Author.

I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.

The time was once, when thou, unurg'd, wouldft vow,
That never words were mufick to thine ear,

That never object pleafing in thine eye,
That never touch well welcome to thy hand,
That never meat sweet-favour'd in thy taste,
Unless I fpake, or look'd, or touch'd, or carv'd.
How comes it now, my husband, oh, how comes it,
That thou art thus eftranged from thyself?
Thyfelf I call it, being ftrange to me:
That, undividable, incorporate,

Am better than thy dear felf's better part.
Ah, do not tear away thyself from me:
For know, my love, as eafy may'ft thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulph,
And take unmingled thence that drop again,.
Without addition or diminishing,

As take from me thyself; and not me too.
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Should't thou but hear, I were licentious?
And that this body, confecrate to thee,
By ruffian luft should be contaminate?
Would't thou not fpit at me, and spurn at me,
And hurl the name of hufband in my face,
And tear the ftain'd skin of my harlot-brow,
And from my falfe hand cut the wedding-ring,
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?

I know thou can'ft; and therefore, fee, thou do it.
I am poffefs'd with an adulterate blot;

My blood is mingled with the crime of luft:

For if we two be one, and thou play false,›
I do digeft the poifon of thy flesh,.
Being ftrumpeted by thy contagion.

Keep then fair league, and truce with thy true bed;
1 live dif-ftain'd, thou undishonoured (7)..

(7) I live dif ftain'd, thou undishonoured.] To diftaine, (from the French word, deftaindre) fignifies, to flain, defile, pollute. But the con text requires a fense qui'e opposite. We muft either read, unftain &; or, by adding an byphen, and giving the prepofition a privative force, read dif-stain'd, and then it will mean, unftain'd, undefi.ed.

Ant. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not : In Ephefus I am but two hours old,

As ftrange unto your town as to your talk.

Who, every word by all my wit being fcann'd,
Wants wit in all one word to understand.

Luc. Fy, brother, how the world is chang'd with you; When were you wont to use my fifter thus?

She fent for you by Dromio home to dinner.

Ant. By Dromio?

S. Dro. By me?

Adr. By thee; and thus thou didst return from him, That he did buffet thee, and in his blows

Deny'd my houfe for his, me for his wife.

Ant. Did you converfe, Sir, with this gentlewoman ? What is the course and drift of your compact ?

S. Dro. I, Sir? I never faw her 'till this time.
Ant. Villain, thou lieft; for even her very words
Didft thou deliver to me on the mart.

S. Dro. I never spoke with her in all my life.
Ant. How can fhe thus then call us by our names,
Unless it be by infpiration?

Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity,
To counterfeit thus grofly with your flave,
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood?
Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt,
But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.
Come, I will faften on this fleeve of thine;
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine;
Whofe weakness, marry'd to thy ftronger ftate,
Makes me with thy ftrength to communicate;
If ought poffefs thee from me, it is drofs,
Ufurping ivy, brier, or idle mofs;

Who, all for want of pruning, with intrufion

Infect thy fap, and live on thy confufion.

Ant. To me the fpeaks; the moves me for her theam; What was I marry'd to her in my dream?

Or fleep I now, and think I hear all this?
What error drives our eyes and ears amifs?
Until I know this fure uncertainty,
I'll entertain the favour'd fallacy.

Luc. Dromio, go bid the fervants fpread for dinner. S. Dro. Oh, for my beads! I crofs me for a finner. This is the Fairy land: oh, fpight of fpights! We talk with goblins, ouphs, and elvish fprights (8); If we obey them not, this will enfue,

They'll fuck our breath, and pinch us black and blue.

Luc Why prates thou to thyfelf, and answer'ft not (9) } Dromio, thou drone, thou fnail, thou flug, thou fọt. S. Dro. I am transformed, mafter, am not I? Ant. I think, thou art in mind, and fo am I.

S. Dro. Nay, mafter, both in mind and in my shape. Ant. Thou haft thine own form.

S. Dro. No; I am an ape.

Luc. If thou art chang'd to ought, 'tis to an afs.

S. Dro, 'Tis true; fhe rides me, and I long for grass. 'Tis fo, I am an afs; elfe it could never be,

But I fhould know her, as well as fhe knows me.
Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye and weep,

Whilft man and mafter laugh my woes to fcorn.
Come, Sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate ;'
Hufband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And fhrive you of a thousand idle pranks;

(8) We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish Sprights;]. They might fancy, they talk'd with goblins and fprights; but why with owls, in the name of nonfenfe? or could owls fuck their breath, and pinch them black and blue? I dare fay, my readers will acquiefce in the justness of my emendation here: the word is common with our author in other paffages:

Merry Wives of Windfor.

Strew good luck, oupbs, on ev'ry facred room.

And, again;

Like urchins, oupbs, and fair es, green and white. (9) Why prat'ft thou to thyself?

Dromio, thou Dromio, frail, thou flug thou fot,] In the fir of thefe lines Mr. Rowe and Mr. Pope have both, for what reafon I cannot tell, curtail'd the measure, and difmounted the doggrel rhyme, which I have replac'd from the firft folio. The fecone verfe is there likewife re-dj

Dromio, thou Dromio, thou fnail, thou flug, thou fot, The verfe is thus half a foot too long; my correction cures that fault: b.fides drone corresponds with the other appellations of reproach,

I 6

Sirrah,