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nandected to my chamber by the gentleman, his lady, and the

an of children. They importuned me to drink something pul veni to bed; and, upon my refusing, at last left a bitlen Thomas they call it, for fear I should wake and be thirsty in

las inced in the morning to rise and dress myseli in the

quse they would not suffer my kinsman's servant to dis.
e as the hour I desired to be called. I was now resolved
a larongh all measures to get away; and, after sitting down
merus breakfast of cold beef, mutton, peat's tongues, ven.
ist, and stale beer, took leave of the family. But the gene
armhi needs see me part of the way, and carry me a shit
add his own ground, which he told me would save hali a

10. This last piece of civility had like to have cost me
it once or twice in danger of my neck by leaping over

this, and at last forced to alight in the dirt, when my horse, sau alpped his bridle, ran away, and took us up more than an

barring us of our wishes, and in crossing our most reasonable desires and inclinations.

This abuse reigns chiefly in the country, as I found to my vexation when I was last there, in a visit I made to a neighbor about two miles from my cousin. As soon as I entered the parlor, they put me into the great chair that stood close by a huge fire, and kept me there by force until I was almost stifled. Then a boy came in a great hurry to pull off my boots, which I in vain opposed, urging that I must return soon after dinner. In the mean time, the good lady whispered her eldest daughter, and slipped a key into her hand; the girl returned instantly with a beer-glass half full of aqua mirabilis and sirup of gillyflowers. I took as much as I had a mind for, but madam vowed I should drink it off; for she was sure it would do me good after coming out of the cold air; and I was forced to obey, which absolutely took away my stomach. When dinner came in, I had a mind to sit at a distance from the fire; but they told me it was as much as my life was worth, and sat me with my back just against it. Although my appetite was quite gone, I was resolved to force down as much as I could, and desired the leg of a pullet. “Indeed, Mr. Bickerstaff,” says the lady,“ you must eat a wing, to oblige me;" and so put a couple upon my plate. I was persecuted at this rate during the whole meal: as often as I called for small beer, the master tipped the wink, and the servant brought me a brimmer of October.

Some time after dinner, I ordered my cousin's man, who came with me, to get ready the horses ; but it was resolved I should not stir that night; and when I seemed pretty much bent upon going, they ordered the stable door to be locked, and the children hid my cloak and boots. The next question was, What would I have for supper? I said, I never eat any thing at night; but was at last, in my own defence, obliged to name the first thing that came into my head. After three hours, spent chiefly in apologies for my entertainment, insinuating to me, “That this was the worst time of the year for provisions ; that they were at a great distance from any market ; that they were afraid I should be starved ; and that they knew they kept me to my loss ;' the lady went, and left me to her husband; for they took special care I should never be alone. As soon as her back was turned, the little misses ran backward and forward every moment, and constantly as they came in, or went out, made a courtesy directly at me, which, in good manners, I was forced to return with a bow, and “your humble servant, pretty miss.” Exactly at eight, the mother came up, and discovered, by the redness of her face, that supper was not far ofl. It was twice as large as the dinner, and my persecution doubled in proportion. I desired at my usual hour to go to my repose, and

2o recorter him again.

THE SPIDER AND THE BEE.
in the highest corner of a large window there dwelt a cer.
ang sarillen up to the first magnitude by the destructin
Debers of fies, whose spoils lay scattered before the
* d bis palace, like human bones before the cave of some
12The arenues to his castle were guarded with turnpilies

lindres, all after the modern way of fortification. After you
- Jased sereral courts you came to the centre, wherein you

hold the constable himself in his own lodgings, which
Fabras fronting to each avenue, and ports to sally out 11
watain ns of prey or defence. In this mansion he had for sine

Belt in peace and plenty, without danger to his person liv
Pirms from above, or to his palace by brooms from below:
tot was the pleasure of fortune to conduct thither a wander-
Clee, to whose curiosity a broken pane in the glass had dis-
ered, itell, and in he went; where, expatiating a while, he at
suppened to alight upon one of the outward walls of the spi.
Pictadel; which, vielding to the unequal weight, sunk down

3 tery foundation. Thrice he endeavored to force his pas.
me and thrice the centre shook. The spider within, feeling 11

de convulsion, supposed at first that nature was approaching het final dissolution; or else, that Beelzebub, with all his les Cs, was come to revenge the death of many thousands of his

fortzo whom his enemy had slain and devoured. However,

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alea from The Battle of the Books, and had reference to the great contest the
e ftuen Wie alvocates of ancient and modern learning. The Boa represents the anciens,

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37

was conducted to my chamber by the gentleman, his lady, and the whole train of children. They importuned me to drink something before I went to bed ; and, upon my refusing, at last lest a bottle of stingo, as they call it, for fear I should wake and be thirsty in the night.

I was forced in the morning to rise and dress myself in the dark, because they would not suffer my kinsman's servant to disturb me at the hour I desired to be called. I was now resolved to break through all measures to get away; and, after sitting down to a monstrous breakfast of cold beef, mutton, neat's tongues, venison pasty, and stale beer, took leave of the family. But the gentleman would needs see me part of the way, and carry me a shcrt cut through his own ground, which he told me would save half a mile's riding. This last piece of civility had like to have cost me dear, being once or twice in danger of my neck by leaping over his ditches, and at last forced to alight in the dirt, when my horse, having slipped his bridle, ran away, and took us up more than an hour to recover him again.

THE SPIDER AND THE BEE.' Upon the highest corner of a large window there dwelt a certain spider, swollen up to the first magnitude by the destruction of infinite numbers of flies, whose spoils lay scattered before the gates of his palace, like human bones before the cave of some giant. The avenues to his castle were guarded with turnpikes and palisadoes, all after the modern way of fortification. After you had passed several courts you came to the centre, wherein you might behold the constable himself in his own lodgings, which had windows fronting to each avenue, and ports to sally out upon all occasions of prey or defence. In this mansion he had for some time dwelt in peace and plenty, without danger to his person by swallows from above, or to his palace by brooms from below : when it was the pleasure of fortune to conduct thither a wandering bee, to whose curiosity a broken pane in the glass had discovered itself, and in he went; where, expatiating a while, he at last happened to alight upon one of the outward walls of the spider's citadel; which, yielding to the unequal weight, sunk down to the very foundation. Thrice he endeavored to force his passage, and thrice the centre shook. The spider within, feeling the terrible convulsion, supposed at first that nature was approaching to her final dissolution; or else, that Beelzebub, with all his les girns, was come to revenge the death of many thousands of his subjects? whom his enemy had slain and devoured. However, SWIFT.

1 This is taken from "The Battle of the Book," and had reference to the great contest the going on between tbe advocates of ancient and modern learning. The Bie represents the ancient, the Spider the moderne.

Peelzebub, in the Hebrew, signites lord of flies.

439

ers and Proridence would never have bestoned on me two

I visit,
stories without designing them for the noblest ends.
se. I the flowers and blossoms of the field and garden; but
telcolect thence, enriches myself, without the least injury
wir besity, their smell, or their taste. Now, for you and your
- in architecture and other mathematics, I have lule to say:
- hilding of yours there might, for aught I know, have been
17 9st method enough ; but, by woful experience for us buih,
aus plain the materials are naught; and I hope you will

site. take waming, and consider duration and matter, as
els method and art. You boast, indeed, of being obliged to
of the creature, but of drawing and spinning out all from your-
estat is to say, if we may judge of the liquor in the vessel by

he at length valiantly resolved to issue forth and meet his fate.
Meanwhile the bee had acquitted himself of his toils, and, posted
securely at some distance, was employed in cleansing his wings,
and disengaging them from the rugged remnants of the cobweb.
By this time the spider was adventured out, when, beholding the
chasms, the ruins, and dilapidations of his fortress, he was very
near at his wits' end; he stormed and swore like a madman, and
swelled till he was ready to burst. At length, casting his eye
upon the bee, and wisely gathering causes from events, (for they
knew each other by sight,) “ A plague split you,” said he, "for a
giddy puppy ; is it you, with a vengeance, that have made this
litter here? could you not look before you ? do you think I have
nothing else to do but to mend and repair after you ?"__"Good
words, friend,” said the bee, (having now pruned himself, and
being disposed to be droll :) “ I'll give you my hand and word to
come near your kennel no more; I was never in such a con-
founded pickle since I was born.”—“ Sirrah,” replied the spider,
“if it were not for breaking an old custom in our family, never to
stir abroad against an enemy, I should come and teach you better
manners.”—“I pray have patience,” said the bee, “or you'll
spend your substance, and, for aught I see, you may stand in need
of it all, toward the repair of your house."— Rogue, rogue," re-
plied the spider, “yet methinks you should have more respect to
a person whom all the world allows to be so much your betters."

By my troth," said the bee, “the comparison will amount to a very good jest; and you will do me a favor to let me know the reasons that all the world is pleased to use in so hopeful a dispute.” At this, the spider, having swelled himself into the size and posture of a disputant, began his argument in the true spirit of controversy, with resolution to be heartily scurrilous and angry: to urge on his own reasons without the least regard to the answers or objections of his opposite ; and fully predetermined in his mind against all conviction.

"Not to disparage myself,” said he, “ by the comparison with such a rascal, what art thou but a vagabond without house or home, without stock or inheritance ? born to no possession of your own, but a pair of wings and a drone-pipe. Your livelihood is a universal plunder upon nature; a freebooter over fields and gardens; and, for the sake of stealing, will rob a nettle as easily as a violet. Whereas I am a domestic animal, furnished with a native stock within myself. This large castle (to show my improve. ments in the mathematics) is all built with my own hands, and the materials extracted altogether out of my own person."

"I am glad," answered the bee, “to hear you grant at least that I am come honestly by my wings and my voice; for then, it seems, I am obliged to Heaven alone for my flights and my

per saves out, you possess a good plentiful store of dirt and
tyris pour breast ; and, though I would by no means lessen or

poar genuine stock of either, yet I doubt you are some
the caged, for an increase of both, to a little foreign assistance,
lacherent portion of dirt does not fail of acquisitions, by sweep
12 erhaled from below; and one insect furnishes you with a
Auto prison to destroy another. So that, in short, the question

Ta al, to this: whether is the nobler being of the two, that
Tea by a lazy contemplation of four inches round, by an orer-

sang pride, feeding and engendering on itself, turns all into
sonunt and renom, producing nothing at all but flybane and a

to; or that which, by a universal range, with long search, and sady, true judgment, and distinction of things, brings home bet and war?

the most amusing of the papers of Swift is entitled Prelitions for tre 175; wherein the month, and day of the mouth are set down, the Pata umed, and the great actions and events of next year particularly re. sa they will come to paga, Written to prevent the people of England

enn farder imposed on by vulgar almanac-makers. By Isaac Buck diam. Et. The clief object of this was to hold up to deserved run

Juin Partridge, a very celebrate almanac-maher of those times,
s printed to predict the events of each ensuing year; and it is astonishi
Sala anidence the public placed in lis prognostications. The premises
W ar Birkerstaff, relative to the great astrolouer, is as follow

PARTRIDGE'S DEATH FORETOLD.
My first prediction is but a trille, yet I will mention it, to show

brant those sottish pretenders to astrology are in their si Cicerns: it relates to Partridge the almanac-maker; I have

Full the star of his nativity by my own rules, and find he a infallibly die upon the 29th of March next, about eleven at on the ota raging fever ; therefore I advise him to consider of it, en yetile his affairs in time. Ika kaz showed up by An Answer to Bickerstall, and anoth.

music; and Providence would never have bestowed on me two such gifts, without designing them for the noblest ends. I visit, indeed, all the flowers and blossoms of the field and garden; but whatever I collect thence, enriches myself, without the least injury to their beauty, their smell, or their taste. Now, for you and your skill in architecture and other mathematics, I have little to say: in that building of yours there might, for aught I know, have been labor and method enough; but, by woful experience for us both, it is too plain the materials are naught; and I hope you will henceforth take warning, and consider duration and matter, as well as method and art. You boast, indeed, of being obliged to no other creature, but of drawing and spinning out all from yourself; that is to say, if we may judge of the liquor in the vessel by what issues out, you possess a good plentiful store of dirt and poison in your breast; and, though I would by no means lessen or disparage your genuine stock of either, yet I doubt you are somewhat obliged, for an increase of both, to a little foreign assistance. Your inherent portion of dirt does not fail of acquisitions, by sweepings exhaled from below; and one insect furnishes you with a share of poison to destroy another. So that, in short, the question comes all to this: whether is the nobler being of the two, that which, by a lazy contemplation of four inches round, by an overweening pride, feeding and engendering on itself, turns all into excrement and venom, producing nothing at all but flybane and a cobweb; or that which, by a universal range, with long search, much study, true judgment, and distinction of things, brings home honey and wax ???

One of the most amusing of the papers of Swist is enuitled “Preilictions for the year 1708; wherein the month, and day of the month are set down, the persons named, and the great actions and events of next year particularly related, as they will come to pass. Written to prevent the people of England from being further imposed on by vulgar almanac-makers. By Isaac BickERSTAFF, Esq." The chief object of this was to boll up to deserved ridicule one Jolin Partridge, a very celebrated almanac-maker of those times, who pretended to predict the events of each ensuing year; and it is astonishing what confidence the public placed in his prognostications. The prediction of « Isaac Bickerstail," relative to the great astrologer, is as follows:-

PARTRIDGE'S DEATH FORETOLD. My first prediction is but a trifle, yet I will mention it, to show how ignorant those sottish pretenders to astrology are in their own concerns : it relates to Partridge the almanac-maker; I have consulted the star of his nativity by my own rules, and find he will infallibly die upon the 29th of March next, about eleven at night, of a raging fever ; therefore I advise him to consider of it, and settle his affairs in time.

This was followed up by “ An Answer to Bickerstaff," and another pan.

441

phlet called “The Accomplishment of the First of Mr. Bickerstaff's Predictions, being an Account of the Death of Mr. Partridge, the Almanac-maker, upon the 29th instant, in a Letter to a Person of Honor," both written by Swift, with his usual exquisite humor. The following is the latter piece :

tured of Mr. Bickerstaff's ignorance. He replied, I am a
se usrant fellow, bred to a mean trade, yet I have sense
avus to know, that all pretences of foretelling by astrology are
sa br this manifest reason, because the wise and the learned,
- 2 cely judge whether there be any truth in this science,
. . unanimously agree to laugh at and despise it; and none but
a poz igarant vulgar give it any credit, and that only up in the

such sily wretches as I and my fellows, who can hardly
rin er read. I then asked him why he had not calculated his
17 mattis, to see whether it agreed with Bickerstaff's predic.
Z? Al which he shook his head, and said, Oh! sir, this is no
na ta jesting, but for repenting those fooleries, as I do now from

tey beatum of my heart. By what I can gather from you, 21, be observations and predictions you printed with your al. Mid Fere mere impositions on the people. He replied, If it

PARTRIDGE'S DEATH REALIZED. My Lord,--In obedience to your lordship's commands, as well as to satisfy my own curiosity, I have for some days past inquired constantly after Partridge the almanac-maker, of whom it was fore. told in Mr. Bickerstaff's predictions, published about a month ago, that he should die the 29th instant about eleven at night, of a raging fever. I had some sort of knowledge of him, when I was employed in the revenue, because he used every year to present me with his almanac, as he did other gentlemen, upon the score of some little gratuity we gave him, I saw him accidentally once or twice about ten days before he died, and observed he began very much to droop and languish, though I hear his friends did not seem to apprehend him in any danger. About two or three days ago he grew ill, was confined first to his chamber, and in a few hours after to his bed, where Dr. Case and Mrs. Kirleus' were sent for to visit, and to prescribe to him. Upon this intelligence, I sent thrice every day one servant or other to inquire after his health; and yesterday, about four in the afternoon, word was brought me, that he was past hopes : upon which I prevailed with myself to go and see him, parıly out of commiseration, and, I confess, partly out of curiosity. He knew me very well, seemed surprised at my condescension, and made me compliments upon it, as well as he could in the condition he was. The people about him said, he had been for some time delirious; but when I saw him, he had his understanding as well as ever I knew, and spoke strong and hearty, without any seeming uneasiness or constraint. After I had told hiin how sorry I was to see him in those melancholy circumstances, and said some other civilities, suitable to the occasion, I desired him to tell me freely and ingenuously, whether the predictions Mr. Bickerstaff had published relating to his death, had not too much affected and worked on his imagination. He confessed, he had often had it in his head, but never with much apprehension, till about a fortnight before ; since which time it had the perpetual possession of his mind and thoughts, and he did verily believe was the true natural cause of his present distemper: for, said he, I am thoroughly persuaded, and I think I have very cood reasons, that Mr. Bickerstaff spoke altogether by guess, and knew no more what will happen this year, than I did myself. I told him his discourse surprised me; and I would be glad he were in a state of health to be able to tell me, what reason he had to be

ra therwise, I should have the less to answer for. We have
then form for all those things; as to foretelling the weather,
teter meddle with that, but leave it to the printer, who takes
Med any old almanac, as he thinks fit; the rest was my own
pesten u make my almanac sell, having a wife to maintain, and
e bez way to get my bread; for mending old shoes is a poor
bid; and (added he, sighing) I wish I may not have done

mischief by my physic than my astrology; though I had
Us pred receipts from my grandmother, and my own composi-
ti tere such, as I thought, could at least do no hurt.
twee ome other discourse with him, which now I cannot call
end, and I fear I have already tired your lordship. I shall
way to me circumstance, that on his death-bed he declared him-
ha a menemformist, and had a fanatic preacher to be his spiritual
its After half an hour's conversation I took my leave, being
niet stilled by the closeness of the room. I imagined he could

Dvd out long, and therefore withdrew to a little coffee-house
sebi, kaving a serrant at the house with orders to come im-
prets, and tell me, as near as he could, the minute when Par-

cald expire, which was not above two hours after; when,
uporn my watch, I found it to be above five minutes after
:y which it is clear that Mr. Bickerstaff was mistaken al-
a four hours in his calculation. In the other circumstances he
bacl enough. But whether he hath not been the cause of

poca man's death, as well as the predictor, may be very rea

I disputed. However, it must be confessed, the matter is
In eeugh, whether we should endeavor to account for it by
Isot the effect of imagination : for my own part, though I
loreno man hath less faith in these matters, yet I shall wait

suhe impatience, and not without some expectation, the fulur. Bickerstaff's second prediction, that the Cardinal de

1 Two fumous quacks of that day.

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