staff, to lend me your Ithuriel's spear, in order to touch this troop of rivals; after which I will most faithfully return it to you again, with the greatest gratitude. I am, sir, &c.' Query 1. What figure doth this lady think her lover will appear in? or what symptoms will he betray of his passion upon being touch ed? 2. Whether a touch of her fan may not have the same efficacy as a touch of Ithuriel's spear? 'Great Lincoln's-Inn square, Nov. 29. HONOURED SIR,-Gratitude obliges me to make this public acknowledgment of the eminent service you have done myself in particular, and the whole body of chaplains, I hope, in general. Coming home on Sunday about dinnertime, I found things strangely altered for the better; the porter smiled in my face when he let me in, the footman bowed to me as I passed him, the steward shook me by the hand, and Mrs. Beatrice dropped me a courtesy as she went along. I was surprised at all this civility, and knew not to what I might ascribe it, except to my bright beaver and shining scarf, that were new that day. But I was still more astonished to find such an agreeable change at the table. My lord helped me to a fat slice of venison with his own hand, and my lady did me the honour to drink to me. I offered to rise at my usual time; but was desired to sit still, with this kind expression, "Come, doctor, a jelly or a conserve will do you no harm; do not be afraid of the dessert.' I was so confounded with the favour, that I returned my thanks in a most awkward manner, wondering what was the meaning of this total transformation: but my lord soon put an end to my admiration, by showing me a paper that challenged you, sir, for its author; and rallied me very agreeably on the subject, asking me, "Which was best handled, the lord or his chaplain ?" I owned myself to think the banter sharpest against ourselves, and that these were trifling matters, not fit for a philosopher to insist on. His lordship was in so good a humour, that he ordered me to return his thanks with my own ; and my lady joins in the same, with this one exception to your paper, that the chaplain in her family was always allowed minced pyes from All-hallows to Candlemas. I am, sir, your most obliged, humble servant, Requires no answer. 'T. W. 'Oxford, Nov. 27. MR. CENSOR,-I have read your account of Nova Zembla with great pleasure, and have ordered it to be transcribed in a little hand, and inserted in Mr. Tonson's late edition of Hudibras. I could wish you would furnish us with more notes upon that author, to fill up the place of those dull annotations with which several editions of that book have been incumbered. I would particularly desire of you to give the world the story of Taliacotius, who makes a very eminent figure in the first canto; not hav. ing been able to meet with any account of the said Taliacotius in the writings of any other author.-I am, with the most profound respect, the most humble of your admirers, Q. Z.' To be answered next Thursday, if nothing more material intervenes. 'MR. CENSOR,-In your survey of the people you must have observed crowds of single persons that are qualified to increase the subjects of this glorious island, and yet neglect that duty to their country. In order to reclaim such Your most obedient servant, I shall lay before you this proposal.persons A TH. CL.* Continuation of the Journal of the Court of ELIZABETH MAKEBATE, of the parish of St. Catharine's, spinster, was indicted for surreptitiously taking away the hassock from under the lady Grave-Airs, between the hours of four and five, on Sunday, the twenty-sixth of November. The prosecutor deposed, 'that as she stood up to make a courtesy to a person of quality in a neighbouring pew, the criminal conveyed away the hassock by stealth; insomuch, that the prosecutor was obliged to sit all the while she was at church, or to say her prayers in a posture that did not become a woman of her quality.' The prisoner pleaded inadvertancy; and the jury were going to bring it in chance-medley, had not several witnesses been produced against the said Elizabeth Makebate, that she was an old offender, and a woman of a bad reputation. It appeared in particular that, on the Sunday before, she had detracted from a new petticoat of Mrs. Mary Doelittle, having said, in the hearing of several credible witnesses, that the said petticoat was scoured,' to the great grief and detriment of the said Mary Doelittle. There were likewise many evidences produced against the criminal, that though she never failed to come to church on Sunday, she was a most notorious sabbathbreaker; and that she spent her whole time, during divine service, in disparaging other people's clothes, and whispering to those who sat next her. Upon the whole, she was found guilty of the indictment, and received sentence to ask pardon of the prosecutor upon her bare knees, without either cushion or hassock under her, in the face of the court.' N. B. As soon as the sentence was executed on the criminal, which was done in open court with the utmost severity, the first lady of the bench on Mr. Bickerstaff's right hand stood up, and made a motion to the court, that whereas it was impossible for women of fashion to dress themselves before the church was half done; *Thomas Clement. See Tat. No. 261. and whereas many confusions and inconveniences did arise thereupon; it might be lawful for them to send a footman in order to keep their places, as was usual in other polite and well-regulated assemblies.' The motion was ordered to be entered in the books, and considered at a more convenient time. Charles Cambrick, linen-draper, in the city of Westminster, was indicted for speaking obscenely to the lady Penelope Touchwood. It appeared, that the prosecutor and her woman going in a stage-coach from London to Brentford, where they were to be met by the lady's own chariot, the criminal, and another of his acquaintance travelled with them in the same coach, at which time the prisoner talked bawdy for the space of three miles and a half. The prosecutor alleged, that over-against the old Fox at Knightsbridge he mentioned the word linen; that at the further end of Kensington he made use of the term smock; and that, before he came to Hammersmith, he talked almost a quarter of an hour upon wedding-shifts. The prosecutor's woman confirmed what her lady had said, and added further, that she had never seen her lady in so great a confusion, and in such a taking, as she was during the whole discourse of the criminal.' The prisoner had little to say for himself, but that he talked only in his own trade, and meant no hurt by what he said.' The jury, however, found him guilty, ⚫ and represented by their forewoman, that such discourses were apt to sully the imagination; and that, by a concatenation of ideas, the word linen implied many things that were not proper to be stirred up in the mind of a woman who was of the prosecutor's quality, and therefore gave it as their verdict, that the linendraper should lose his tongue.'. Mr. Bickerstaff said he thought the prosecutor's ears were as much to blame as the prisoner's tongue, and therefore gave sentence as follows: that they should both be placed over-against one another in the midst of the court, there to remain for the space of one quarter of an hour, during which time the linen-draper was to be gagged, and the lady to hold her hands close upon both her ears;' which was executed accordingly. Edward Callicoat was indicted as an accomplice to Charles Cambrick, for that he, the said Edward Callicoat, did, by his silence and smiles, seem to approve and abet the said Charles Cam. brick in every thing he said. It appeared, that the prisoner was foreman of the shop to the aforesaid Charles Cambrick, and, by this post obliged to smile at every thing that the other should be pleased to say; upon which he was acquitted. Josiah Shallow was indicted in the name of dame Winifred, sole relict of Richard Dainty, esquire, for having said several times in company, and in the hearing of several persons there present, that he was extremely obliged to the widow Dainty, and that he should never be able sufficiently to express his gratitude.' The prosecutor urged, that this might blast her reputation, and that it was in effect a boasting of favours which he had never received. The prisoner seemed to be much astonished at the onstruction which was put upon his words, and said, 'that he meant nothing by them, but that the widow had befriended him in a lease, and was very kind to his younger sister. The jury finding him a little weak in his understanding, without going out of the court, brought in their verdict, ignoramus. Ursula Goodenough was accused by the lady Betty Wou'dbe, for having said, that she, the lady Betty Wou'dbe, was painted. The prisoner brought several persons of good credit to witness to her reputation, and proved by undeniable evidences, that she was never at the place where the words were said to have been uttered. The Censor, observing the behaviour of the proscentor, found reason to believe, that she had indicted the prisoner for no other reason, but to make her complexion be taken notice of; which, indeed, was very fresh and beautiful: he therefore asked the offender, with a very stern voice, how she could presume to spread so groundless a report ? and whether she saw any colours in the lady Wou'dbe's face that could procure credit to such a falsehood? Do you see,' says he, any lilies or roses in her cheeks, any bloom, any probability? The prosecutor, not able to bear such language any longer, told him, that he talked like a blind old fool, and that she was ashamed to have entertained any opinion of his wisdom: but she was put to silence and sentenced to wear her mask for five months, and not to presume to show her face until the town should be empty.' Benjamin Buzzard, esquire, was indicted for having told the lady Everbloom at a public ball that she looked very well for a woman of her years. The prisoner not denying the fact, and persisting before the court that he looked upon it as a compliment, the jury brought him in non compos mentis. The court then adjourned to Monday, the eleventh instant. Copia vera. No. 260.] CHARLES LILLIE. Thursday, December 7, 1710. Non cuicunque datum est habere nasum. The nose, 'tis said, shows both our scorn and pride: And yet that feature is to some deny'd. R. Wynne. Mart. From my own Apartment, December 6. WE have a very learned and elaborate dissertation upon thumbs in Montaigne's essays, and another upon ears in the Tale of a Tub.' I am here going to write one upon noses, having chosen for my text the following verses out of Hudibras: So learned Taliacotius from The brawny part of porter's hum Notwithstanding that there is nothing ob scene in natural knowledge, and that I intend to give as little offence as may be to readers of * Hudibras, part i. canto i. line 281. a well-bred imagination; I must for my own quiet, desire the critics, who in all things have been famous for good noses, to refrain from the lecture of this curious tract. These gentlemen were formerly marked out and distinguished by the little rhinocerial nose, which was always looked upon as an instrument of derision; and which they were used to cock, toss, or draw up in a contemptuous manner, upon reading the works of their ingenious contemporaries. It is not, therefore, for this generation of men that I write the present transaction, but for the sake of some of my philosophical friends in the Royal Society who peruse discourses of this nature with a becoming gravity, and a desire of improving by them. of Germany. He was the first love-doctor that I meet with in history, and a greater man in his age than our celebrated doctor Wall. He saw his species extremely mutilated and disfigured by this new distemper that was crept into it; and therefore, in pursuance of a very seasonable invention, set up a manufacture of noses; having first got a patent that.none should presume to make noses besides himself. His first patient was a great man of Portugal, who had done good services to his country, but in the midst of them unfortunately lost his nose. Taliacotius grafted a new one on the remaining part of the gristle or cartilaginous substance, which would sneeze, smell, take snuff, pronounce the letters M or N; and, in short, do all the functions of a genuine and natural nose. There was, however, one misfortune in this experiment: the Portu. guese's complexion was a little upon the subfuse, with very black eyes and dark eye-brows; and the nose being taken from a porter that had a white German skin, and cut out of those parts that are not exposed to the sun, it was very visi ble that the features of his face were not fellows. In a word, the Comde resembled one of those maimed antique statues that has often a modern nose of fresh marble glued to a face of such a yellow, ivory complexion, as nothing can give but age. To remedy this particular for the future, the doctor got together a great collection of porters, men of all complexions, black, fair, brown, dark, sallow, pale, and ruddy; so that it was impossible for a patient of the most out-ofthe-way colour not to find a nose to match it. Many are the opinions of learned men concerning the rise of that fatal distemper, which has always taken a particular pleasure in venting its spite upon the nose. I have seen a little burlesque poem in Italian, that gives a very pleasant account of this matter. The fable of it runs thus: Mars, the god of war, having served during the siege of Naples in the shape of a French colonel, received a visit one night from Venus, the goddess of love, who had been always his professed mistress and admirer. The poem says, she came to him in the disguise of a suttling wench, with a bottle of brandy under The doctor's house was now very much enher arm. Let that be as it will, he managed larged, and became a kind of college, or rather matters so well, that she went away big-bellied, hospital, for the fashionable cripples of both and was at length brought to bed of a little sexes, that resorted to him from all parts of EuCupid. This boy, whether it was by reason rope. Over his door was fastened a large golden any bad food that his father had eaten during snout, not unlike that which is placed over the the siege, or of any particular malignity in the great gates at Brazen-nose college in Oxford; stars that reigned at his nativity, came into the and, as it is usual for the learned in foreign uniworld with a very sickly look, and crazy conversities to distinguish their houses by a Latin stitution. As soon as he was able to handle sentence, the doctor writ underneath this great his bow, he made discoveries of a most perverse golden proboscis two verses out of Ovid: disposition. He dipped all his arrows in poison that rotted every thing they touched; and, what was more particular, aimed all his shafts at the nose, quite contrary to the practice of his elder brothers, who had made the human heart their butt in all countries and ages. To break him of this roguish trick, his parents put him to school to Mercury, who did all he could to It is reported that Taliacotius had at one time hinder him from demolishing the noses of in his house, twelve German counts, nineteen mankind; but, in spite of education, the boy French marquisses, and a hundred Spanish ca. continued very unlucky; and, though his malicevaliers, besides one solitary English esquire, of was a little softened by good instructions, he would very frequently let fly an envenomed arrow, and wound his votaries oftener in the nose than in the heart. Thus far the fable. I need not tell my learned reader, that Correggio has drawn a cupid taking his lesson from Mercury conformable to this poem; nor that the poem itself was designed as a burlesque upon Fracastorius. It was a little after this fatal siege of Naples, that Taliacotius* began to practise in a town of Gaspar Taliacotius was a professor of physic and surgery at Bononia, where he was born in 1489, and died in 1553. Militat omnis amans, habet et sua castra Cupido; Ovid. Amor. El. ix. 1. whom more hereafter. Though the doctor had the monopoly of noses in his own hands, he is said not to have been unreasonable. Indeed, if a man had occasion for a high Roman nose, he must go to the price of it. A carbuncle nose likewise bore an excessive rate; but for your ordinary short turned-up noses, of which there was the greatest consumption, they cost little or nothing; at least the purchasers thought s0, who would have been content to have paid much dearer for them rather than to have gone with. out them. The sympathy betwixt the nose and its parent was very extraordinary. Hudibras has told us, I will bite off your nose.'* No. 261.] that when the porter died, the nose dropped of mordicus. On the other hand, if any thing went amiss with the nose, the porter felt the effects of it; insomuch, that it was generally articled with the patient, that he should not only abstain from all his old courses, but should, on no pretence whatsoever, smell pepper, or eat mustard; on which occasion, the part where the incision had been made, was seized with unspeakable twinges and prickings. Saturday, December 9, 1710. The From my own Apartment, December 8. IT is the duty of all who make philosophy the entertainment of their lives, to turn their thoughts to practical schemes for the good of society, and not pass away their time in fruitless searches which tend rather to the ostentation of knowledge, than the service of life. For this reason I cannot forbear reading even the common bills that are daily put into people's hands as they pass the streets, which give us notice of the present residence, the past travels, and infallible medicines of doctors useful in their generation, though much below the character of the renowned Taliacotius. But, upon a nice calculation of the successes of such adepts, I find their labours tend mostly to the enriching only one sort of men, that is to say, the society of upholders. From this observation, and many others which occur to me when I am numbering the good people of Great Britain, I cannot but favour any proposal which tends to repairing the losses we sustain by eminent cures. best I have met with in this kind, has been offered to my consideration, and recommended in a letter subscribed Thomas Clement. The title to his printed articles runs thus: By the profitable society, at the Wheat-sheaf, over against Tom's coffee-house, in Russell-street, CoventGarden, new proposals for promoting a contribution towards raising two hundred and fifty pounds, to be made on the baptizing of any infant born in wedlock.' The plan is laid with such proper regulations, as serve, to such as fall in with it for the sake of their posterity, all the uses, without any of the inconveniences, of settlements. By this means, such whose fortunes depend upon their own industry, or personal qualifications, need not be deterred, by fear of poverty, from that state which nature and reason prescribe to us, as the fountain of the greatest happiness in human life. The Censors of Rome had power vested in them to lay taxes on the unmarried; and I think I cannot show my impartiality better, than in inquiring into the I shall close this paper with an admonition to extravagant privileges my brother bachelors enthe young men of this town: which I think the joy, and fine them accordingly. I shall not almore necessary, because I sce several new fresh-low a single life in one sex to be reproached, coloured faces, that have made their first appearance in it this winter. I must therefore assure them, that the art of making noses is entirely lost; and, in the next place, beg them not to follow the example of our ordinary town rakes, who live as if there was a Taliacotius to be met with at the corner of every street.. Whatever young men may think, the nose is a very becoming part of the face; and a man makes but a very silly figure without it. But it is the nature of youth not to know the value of any thing until they have lost it. The general precept, therefore, I shall leave with them is, to regard every town-woman as a particular kind of syren, that has a design upon their noses; and that, amidst her flatteries and allurements, they will fancy she speaks to them in that humorous phrase of old Plautus, Ego tibi faciem denasabo The Englishman I before mentioned was so very irregular, and relapsed so frequently into the distemper which at first brought him to the learned Taliacotius, that in the space of two years he wore out five noses; and by that means so tormented the porters, that if he would have given five hundred pounds for a nose, there was not one of them that would accommodate him. This young gentleman was born of honest parents, and passed his first years in fox-hunting; but accidentally quitting the woods, and, coming up to London, he was so charmed with the beauties of the playhouse, that he had not been in town two days before he got the misfortune which carried off this part of his face. He used to be called in Germany the Englishman of five noses,' and 'the gentleman that had thrice as many noses as he had ears.' Such was the raillery of those times. and held in esteem in the other. It would not, methinks, be amiss, if an old bachelor, who lives in contempt of matrimony, were obliged to give a portion to an old maid who is willing to enter into it. At the same time I must allow, that those who can plead courtship, and were unjustly rejected, shall not be liable to the pains and penalties of celibacy. But such as pretend an aversion to the whole sex, because they were ill-treated by a particular female, and cover their sense of disappointment in women under a contempt of their favour, shall be proceeded against as bachelors convict. I am not without hopes, * Hieronymus Fracastorius, mentioned in this paper, a celebrated physician and poet, and much commended for his elegance as a Latin writer, was born at Verona in 14-3, and died in that neighbourhood, of an apoplexy, in 1553, at the age of seventy-one. that from this slight warning, all the unmarried | such actions, take the following fragment, out men of fortune, taste, and refinement, will, with- of much more, which is written in my yearout further delay, become lovers and humble book, on the remarkable will of a gentleman, servants to such of their acquaintance as are whom I shall here call Celamico. most agreeable to them, under pain of my cen. This day died that plain and excellent man, sures: and it is to be hoped the rest of the world, my much-honoured friend, Celamico, who be who remain single for fear of the incumbrances queathed his whole estate to a gentleman no of wedlock, will become subscribers to Mr. Cle-way related to him, and to whom he had given ment's proposal. By these means we shall have no such expectation in his life-time.' a much more numerous account of births in the year 1711, than any ever before known in Great Britain, where merely to be born is a distinction of providence greater than being born to a fortune in another place. As I was going on in the consideration of this good office which Mr. Clement proposes to do his country, I received the following letter, which seems to be dictated by a like modest and public spirit, that makes use of me also in its design of obliging mankind: MR. BICKERSTAFF,—In the royal lottery for a million and a half I had the good fortune of obtaining a prize. From before the drawing I had devoted a fifth of whatever should arise to me to charitable uses. Accordingly, I lately troubled you with my request and commission for placing half-a-dozen youths with Mr. More,* writing-master in Castle-street, to whom, it is said, we owe all the fine devices, flourishes, and the composure of all the plates, for the drawing and paying the tickets. Be pleased therefore, good sir, to find or make leisure for complying therewith, for I would not appear concerned in this small matter. I am very much your humble servant, &c.' It is no small pleasure to observe, that in the midst of a very degenerate age, there are still spirits which retain their natural dignity, and pursue the good of their fellow-creatures: some in making themselves useful by professed service, some by secret generosity. Were I at liberty to discover even all the good I know of many men living at this time, there would want nothing but a suitable historian, to make them appear as illustrious as any of the noblest of the ancient Greeks or Romans. The cunning some have used to do handsome and worthy actions, the address to do men services, and escape their notice, has produced so many surprising incidents, which have been laid before me during my Censorship, as, in the opinion of posterity, would absolve this age of all its crimes and follies. I know no way to deal with such delicate minds as these, but by assuring them, that when they cease to do good, I shall tell all the good they have done already. Let, therefore, the benefactor to the youths above-mentioned continue such bounties, upon pain of being publicly praised. But there is no probability of his running into that hazard; for a strong habit of virtue can make men suspend the receiving the acknowledgments due to their merit, until they are out of a capacity of receiving them. I am so very much charmed with accidents of this kind, that I have made a collection of all the memorable handsome things done by private men in my time. As a specimen of my manner of noting * In Massey's ‘Origin and Progress of Letters,' 8vo. 1763, part. ii. p. 103, is some account of Mr. More. He was a person of a very enlarged soul, and thought the nearest relation among men to be the resemblance of their minds and sentiments. He was not mistaken in the worth of his successor, who received the news of this unexpect ed good fortune with an air that showed him less moved with the benefit than the loss of the benefactor. JOURNAL OF THE COURT OF HONOUR, &c. TIMOTHY TREATALL, gentleman, was indicted by several ladies of his sister's acquaintance for a very rude affront offered to them at an entertainment, to which he had invited them on Tuesday, the seventh of November last past, between the hours of eight and nine in the evening. The indictment set forth, that the said Mr. Treatall, upon the serving up of the supper, desired the ladies to take their places for that it was the way always at his table to according to their different age and seniority; pay respect to years.' The indictment added, that this produced an unspeakable confusion had pressed together for a place at the upper in the company; for that the ladies, who before end of the table, immediately crowded with the same disorder towards the end that was quite opposite; that Mrs. Frontley had the insolence to clap herself down at the very lowest place of the table; that the widow Partlet seated herself on the right hand of Mrs. Frontley, alleging for her excuse, that no ceremony was to be used at disputed above half-an-hour for the same chair, a round table; that Mrs. Fidget and Mrs. Fescue and that the latter would not give up the cause which happened to be kept hard by. The inuntil it was decided by the parish register, dictment further saith, that the rest of the company who sat down did it with a reserve to their right, which they were at liberty to assert on |