ceals his source, makes the machine move, teaches to steer, expiates our offences, raises vapours, and looks larger as he sets.'

What poem can be safe from this sort of criticism? I think I was never in my life so much offended, as at a wag whom I once met with in a coffee-house. He had in his hand one of the Miscellanies,' and was reading the following short copy of verses, which, without flattery to the author, is, I think, as beautiful in its kind as any one in the English tongue!*

writer would not have thought of separating. I thing, and nothing. He bestows increase, conNot having my Greek spectacles by me, I shall quote the passage word for word as I find it translated to my hand. Nevertheless, though he was intemperately fond of his own praise, yet he was very free from envying others, and most liberally profuse in commending both the ancients and his contemporaries, as is to be understood by his writings; and many of those sayings are still recorded, as that concerning Aristotle, "that he was a river of flowing gold:" of Plato's dialogue, that if Jupiter were to speak, he would discourse as he did." Theophrastus he was wont to call his peculiar de. light; and being asked, "which of Demosthenes his orations he liked best?" He answered," The longest."

And as for the eminent men of his own time, either for cloquence or philosophy, there was not one of them which he did not, by writing or speaking favourably of, render more illustrious.'

Thus the critic tells us, that Cicero was excessively vain-glorious and abusive; Plutarch, that he was vain, but not abusive. Let the reader believe which of them he pleases.

After this he complains to the world, that I call him names, and that, in my passion, I said he was a flea, a louse, an owl, a bat, a small wit, a scribbler, and a nibbler. When he has thus bespoken his reader's pity, he falls into that admirable vein of mirth, which I shall set down at length, it being an exquisite piece of raillery, and written in great gayety of heart. After this list of names,' viz. flea, louse, owl, bat, &c. I was surprised to hear him say, that he has hitherto kept his temper pretty well; I wonder how he will write when he has lost his temper! I suppose, as he is now very angry and unmannerly, he will then be exceeding courteous and good-humoured.' If I can outlive this raillery, I shall be able to bear any thing.

There is a method of criticism made use of by this author, for I shall take care how I call him a scribbler again which may turn into ridicule any work that was over written, wherein there is a variety of thoughts. This the reader will observe in the following words: Ile,' meaning me, 'is so intent upon being something extraordinary, that he scarce knows what he would be; and is as fruitful in his similes as a brother of his whom I lately took notice of. In the compass of a few lines he compares himself to a fox, to Daniel Burgess, to the Knight of the Red Cross, to an oak with ivy about it, and to a great man with an equipage.' I think myself as much honoured by being joined in this part of his paper with the gentleman whom he here calls my brother, as I am in the beginning of it, by being mentioned with Horace and Virgil.

It is very hard that a man cannot publish ten papers without stealing from himself; but to show you that this is only a knack of writing, and that the author has got into a certain road of criticism, I shall set down his remarks on the works of the gentleman whom he here glances upon, as they stand in his sixth paper, and desire the reader to compare them with the foregoing passage upon mine.

In thirty lines his patron is a river, the primum mobile, a pilot, a victim, the sun, any

Flavia the least and slightest toy
Can with resistless art employ.
This fan in meaner hands would prove
An engine of small force in love;
But she, with such an air and mien,
Not to be told, or safely seen,
Directs its wanton motions so.
That it wounds more than Cupid's bow;
Gives coolness to the matchless dame,
To every other breast a flame.

When this coxcomb had done reading them, Hey-day!' says he, 'what instrument is this that Flavia employs in such a manner as is not to be told, nor safely seen? In ten lines it is a toy, a cupid's bow, a fan, and an engine in love. It has wanton motions, it wounds, it cools, and inflames.'

Such, criticisms make a man of sense sick, and a fool merry.

are

The next paragraph of the paper we talking of, falls upon some body whom I am at a loss to guess at: but I find the whole invective turns upon a man who, it seems, has been imprisoned for debt. Whoever he was, I most heartily pity him; but at the same time must put the examiner in mind, that notwithstanding he is a critic, he still ought to remember he is a Christian. Poverty was never thought a proper subject for ridicule; and I do not remember that I ever met with a satire upon a beggar.

As for those little retortings of my own expressions, of being dull by design, witty in October, shining, excelling, and so forth; they are the common cavils of every witling, who has no other method of showing his parts, but by little variations and repetitions of the man's words whom he attacks.

But the truth of it is, the paper before me, not only in this particular, but in its very essence, is like Ovid's Echo,

-Que nec reticere Joquenti,
Nec prior ipsa loqui didicit Ovid. Met. iii. 357.
She who in other's, words her silence breaks,
Nor speaks herself but when another speaks.
Addison.

I should not have deserved the character of a Censor, had I not animadverted upon the abovementioned author, by a gentle chastisement: but I know my reader will not pardon me, unless I declare, that nothing of this nature for the future, unless it be written with some wit, shall divert me from my care of the public.

Dr. Atterbury was the author of this copy of verses; and it has been commonly believed, that Mrs. Anne Oldfield was the lady here celebrated."

No. 240.]

Saturday, October 21, 1710.

Ad populum phaleras.—— Pers. Sat. iii. 30.
Such pageantry be to the people shown:
There boast thy horse's trappings, and thy own.
Dryden.

From my own Apartment, October 20.

I Do not remember that in any of my lucu. brations I have touched upon that useful science of physic, notwithstanding I have declared my self more than once a professor of it. I have indeed joined the study of astrology with it, because I never knew a physician recommend himself to the public, who had not a sister art to embellish his knowledge in medicine. It has been commonly observed, in compliment to the ingenious of our profession, that Apollo was god of verse as well as physic; and, in all ages, the most celebrated practitioners of our country were the particular favourites of the muses. Poetry to physic is indeed like the gilding to a pill; it makes the art shine, and covers the severity of the doctor with the agreeableness of the companion.

The very foundation of poetry is good sense, if we may allow Horace to be a judge of the

art.

Scribendi recte sapere est et principium et fons.
Hor. Ars Poet. 309.
Such judgment is the ground of writing well.
Roscommon.

And if so, we have reason to believe, that the same man who writes well can prescribe well, if he has applied himself to the study of both. Besides, when we see a man making profession of two different sciences, it is natural for us to believe he is no pretender in that which we are not judges of, when we find him skilful in that which we understand.

died twice as long by day-light, and never have been taken notice of. But lucubrations cannot be overvalued. There are some who have gained themselves great reputation for physic by their birth, as the 'seventh son of a seventh son;' and others by not being born at all, as the unborn doctor, who, I hear, is lately gone the way of his patients; having died worth five hundred pounds per annum, though he was not born to a halfpenny.

My ingenious friend doctor Saffold succeeded my old contemporary doctor Lilly, in the studies both of physic and astrology, to which he added that of poetry, as was to be seen both upon the sign where he lived, and in the bills which he distributed. He was succeeded by doctor Case, who erased the verses of his predecessor out of the sign post, and substituted in their place two of his own, which were as follow:

Within this place
Laves doctor Case.

than Mr. Dryden did by all his works. There He is said to have got more by this distich, would be no end of enumerating the several imaginary perfections, and unaccountable artifices, by which this tribe of men ensnare the minds of the vulgar, and gain crowds of admirers. I have seen the whole front of a mountebank's stage, from one end to the other, faced with patents, certificates, medals, and great seals, by which the several princes of Europe have testified their particular respect and esteem for the doctor. Every great man with a sounding title has been his patient. I believe I have seen twenty mountebanks that have given physic to the czar of Muscovy. The great duke of Tuscany escapes no better. The elector of Brandenburg was likewise a very good patient.

This great condescension of the doctor draws Ordinary quacks and charlatans are thorough-upon him much good will from his audience; ly sensible how necessary it is to support them- and it is ten to one, but if any of them be selves by these collateral assistances, and there- troubled with an aching tooth, his ambition will fore always lay their claims to some supernu- prompt him to get it drawn by a person who merary accomplishments, which are wholly has had so many princes, kings, and emperors, foreign to their profession. under his hands.

About twenty years ago it was impossible to I must not leave this subject without obwalk the streets without having an advertise- serving, that as physicians are apt to deal in ment thrust into your hand, of a doctor, who poetry, apothecaries endeavour to recommend had arrived at the knowledge of the green and themselves by oratory, and are, therefore, withred dragon, and had discovered the female fern-out controversy, the most eloquent persons in seed.' Nobody ever knew what this meant; but the whole British nation. I would not willingly the green and red dragon so amused the people, that the doctor lived very comfortably upon them. About the same time there was pasted a very hard word upon every corner of the streets. This, to the best of my remembrance,

was,

TETRACHYMAGOGON,

which drew great shoals of spectators about it, who read the bill that it introduced with unspeakable curiosity; and, when they were sick, would have nobody but this learned man for their physician.

I once received an advertisement of one who had studied thirty years by candle-light for the good of his countrymen.' He might have stu

discourage any of the arts, especially that of which I am an humble professor; but I must confess, for the good of my native country, I could wish there might be a suspension of physic for some years, that our kingdom, which has been so much exhausted by the wars, might have leave to recruit itself.

As for myself, the only physic which has brought me safe to almost the age of man, and which I prescribe to all my friends, is abstinence. This is certainly the best physic for prevention, and very often the most effectual against a present distemper. In short, my recipe is, 'take nothing.'

Were the body politic to be physicked like particular persons, I should venture to prescribe

to it after the same manner. I remember when I would even then think of a debauch with horour whole island was shaken with an earth- ror. But when he looks still further, and acquake some years ago, there was an impudent knowledges that he is not only expelled out of mountebank who sold pills, which, as he told all the relations of life, but also liable to offend the country people, were very good against an against them all; what words can express the earthquake.' It may, perhaps, be thought as terror and detestation he would have of such a absurd to prescribe a diet for the allaying popu- condition? And yet he owns all this of bimlar commotions, and national ferments. But I self, who says he was drunk last night. am verily persuaded, that, if in such a case a whole people were to enter into a course of abstinence, and eat nothing but water-gruel for a fortnight, it would abate the rage and animosity of parties, and not a little contribute to the cure of a distracted nation. Such a fast would have a natural tendency to the procuring of those ends, for which a fast is usually proclaimed. If any man has a mind to enter on such a voluntary abstinence, it might not be improper to give him the caution of Pythagoras in particular; Abstine à fabis, Abstain from beans: that is, say the interpreters, Meddle not with elections;' beans having been made use of by the voters among the Athenians in the choice of magistrates.

No. 241.]

Tuesday, October 24, 1710.

From my own Apartment, October 23. A METHOD of spending one's time agreeably, is a thing so little studied, that the common amusement of our young gentlemen, especially of such as are at a distance from those of the first breeding, is drinking. This way of enter tainment has custom on its side; but, as much as it has prevailed, I believe there have been very few companies that have been guilty of excess this way, where there have not happened more accidents which make against, than for the continuance of it. It is very common that events arise from a debauch which are fatal, and always such as are disagreeable. With all a man's reason and good sense about him, his tongue is apt to utter things out of mere gayety of heart, which may displease his best friends. Who, then, would trust himself to the power of wine, without saying more against it, than that it raises the imagination, and depresses the judgment? Were there only this single consideration, that we are less masters of ourselves, when we drink in the least proportion above the exigencies of thirst; I say, were this all that could be objected, it were sufficient to make us abhor this vice. But we may go on to say, that as he who drinks but a little is not master of himself, so he who drinks much is a slave to himself. As for my part, I ever esteemed a drunkard of all vicious persons, the most vicious: for if our actions are to be weighed and considered according to the intention of them, what can we think of him, who puts himself into a circumstance wherein he can have no intention at all, but incapacitates himself for the duties and offices of life, by a suspension of all his faculties? If a man considers that he cannot, under the oppression of drink, be a friend, a gentleman, a master, or a subject; that he has so long banished himself from all that is dear, and given up all that is sacred to him; he

As I have all along persisted in it, that all the vicious in general are in a state of death; so I think I may add to the non-existence of drunkards, that they died by their own hands. He is certainly as guilty of suicide who perishes by a slow, as he that is despatched by an immediate poison. In my last lucubration I proposed the general use of water-gruel, and hinted that it might not be amiss at this very season. But as there are some, whose cases, in regard to their families, will not admit of delay, I have used my interest in several wards of the city, that the wholesome restorative above-mentioned, may be given in tavern-kitchens to all the morning-draughts-men, within the walls, when they call for wine before noon.* For a further restraint and mark upon such persons, I have given orders, that in all the offices where poli. cies are drawn upon lives, it shall be added to the article which prohibits that the nomince should cross the sea, the words, Provided also, that the above-mentioned A. B. shall not drink, before dinner, during the term mentioned in

this indenture.'

I am not without hopes, that by this method I shall bring some unsizeable friends of mine into shape and breadth, as well as others, who are languid and consumptive, into health and vigour. Most of the self-murderers whom I yet hinted at, are such as preserve a certain regularity in taking their poison, and make it mix pretty well with their food. But the most conspicuous of those who destroy themselves, are such as in their youth fall into this sort of debauchery; and contract a certain uneasiness of spirit, which is not to be diverted but by tippling as often as they can fall into company in the day, and conclude with downright drunkenness at night. These gentlemen never know the satisfaction of youth; but skip the years of manhood, and are decrepit soon after they are of age. I was godfather to one of these old fellows. He is now three-and-thirty, which is the grand climacteric of a young drunkard. I went to visit the crazy wretch. this morning, with no other purpose but to rally him under the pain and uneasiness of being sober.

But as our faults are double when they affect others besides ourselves, so this vice is still more odious in a married than a single man. He that is the husband of a woman of honour, and comes home over-loaded with wine, is still more contemptible in proportion to the regard we have to the unhappy consort of his bestiality. The imagination cannot shape to itself any thing more monstrous and unnatural than the familiarities between drunkenness and chastity. The wretched Astrea, who is the perfection of

* To the honour of the present age, the practise of drunkenness by any means the predominant vice of the morning gills is almost wholly out of fashion; nor is times.

beauty and innocence, has long been thus con- | Cathedral of St. Paul, London: it is hereby ordemned for life. The romantic tales of virgins devoted to the jaws of monsters, have nothing in them so terrible as the gift of Astrea to that bacchanal.