No. 62.]

'September 7.

I have notice of a new pack of dogs, of quite I wearing red-heeled-shoes, and at the same time another sort than hitherto mentioned. I have was so indulgent as to connive at him for fournot an exact account of their way of hunting, teen days, because I would give him the wearthe following letter giving only a bare notice ing of them out; but, after all this, I am informed he appeared yesterday with a new pair of them. of the same sort. . I have no better success with Mr. What-d'ye-call, as to his buttons; Stentor still roars; and box and dice rattle as loud as they did before I writ against them. Partridge walks about at noon day, and Esculapius thinks of adding a new lace to his livery. However, I must still go on in laying these enormities before men's eyes, and let them answer for go

'SIR-There are another pack of dogs to be disposed of, who kennel about Charing-cross, at the Old Fat Dog's, at the corner of Buckingham-court, near Spring-garden: two of them are said to be whelped in Alsatia,* now in ruins; but they, with the rest of the pack, are as per

My province is much larger than at first sight men would imagine, and I shall lose no part of my jurisdiction, which extends not only to futurity, but also is a retrospect to things past; and the behaviour of persons, who have long ago acted their parts, is as much liable to my exami nation, as that of my own contemporaries.

nicious as if the old kennel had never been bro-
ken down. The ancients distinguished this sorting on in their practice.
of curs by the name of Heredipetes, the most
pernicious of all biters, for seizing young heirs,
especially when their estates are entailed;
whom they reduced by one good bite to such a
condition, that they cannot ever after come to
the use of their teeth, or get a smelling of a
crust. You are desired to dispose of these as
soon as you can, that the breed may not in-
crease; and your care in tying them up will be
acknowledged, by, sir, your humble servant,

PHILANTHROPOS.'

St. James's Coffee-house, September 9.

We have received letters from the duke of Marlborough's camp, which bring us further particulars of the great and glorious victory obtained over the enemy on the eleventh instant, N. S. The number of the wounded and prisoners is much greater than was expected from our first account. The day was doubtful until after twelve of the clock; but the enemy made little resistance after their first line on the left began to give way. An exact narration of the whole affair is expected next post. The French have had two days allowed them to bury their dead, and carry off their wounded men, upon parole. Those regiments of Great Britain, which suffered most, are ordered into garrison, and fresh troops commanded to march into the field. The states have also directed troops to march out of the towns, to relieve those who lost so many men in attacking the second entrenchment of the French, in the plain between Sart and Jansart.

No man can conceive, until he come to try it, how great a pain it is to be a public-spirited person. I am sure I am unable to express

to

the world how great anxiety I have suffered, to see of how little benefit my lucubrations have been to my fellow-subjects. Men will go on in their own way, in spite of all my labour. I gave Mr. Didapper a private reprimand for

*White Friars.
T

In order to put the whole race of mankind in their proper distinctions, according to the opinon their cohabitants conceived of them, I have, with very much care and depth of meditation, thought fit to erect a chamber of Fame, and established certain rules, which are to be observed in admitting members into this illustrious society.

In this chamber of Fame there are to be three

tables but of different lengths; the first is to con-
tain exactly twelve persons; the second, twenty;
and the third a hundred. This is reckoned to
be the full number of those who have any com-
petent share of fame. At the first of these ta-
bles are to be placed, in their order, the twelve
most famous persons in the world; not with re-
gard to the things they are famous for, but ac-
cording to the degree of their fame, whether in
valour, wit, or learning. Thus, if a scholar be
more famous than a soldier, he is to sit above
him. Neither must any preference be given to
virtue, if the person be not equally famous.

When the first table is filled, the next in re-
nown must be seated at the second, and so on in
like manner to the number of twenty; as also in
the same order at the third, which is to hold a
hundred. At these tables, no regard is to be had
to seniority: for if Julius Cæsar shall be judged
more famous than Romulus and Scipio, he must
have the precedence. No person who has not
been dead a hundred years must be offered to a
place at any of these tables; and because this is
altogether a lay-society, and that sacred persons
move upon greater motives than that of fame, no
persons celebrated in holy writ, or any ecclesi-
astical men whatsoever, are to be introduced
here.

At the lower end of the room is to be a sidetable for persons of great fame, but dubious existence; such as Hercules, Theseus, Æneas, Achilles, Hector, and others. But because it is apprehended, that there may be great contention about precedence, the proposer humbly desires the opinion of the learned, towards his assistance in placing every person according to his rank, that none may have just occasion of offence.

The merits of the cause shall be judged by plurality of voices.

For the more impartial execution of this im

portant affair, it is desired that no man will offer |
his favourite hero, scholar, or poet; and that the
learned will be pleased to send to Mr. Bicker-
staff, at Mr. Morphew's near Stationer's-hall,
their several lists for the first table only, and in
the order they would have them placed; after
which, the proposer will compare the several
lists, and make another for the public, wherein
every name shall be ranked according to the
voices it has had. Under this chamber is to be
a dark vault for the same number of persons of
evil fame.

tion, that you are not to reign above four months and odd days longer. Therefore, I must desire you to raise and friz your hair a little, for it is downright insolence to be thus handsome without art; and you will forgive me for entreating you to do now out of compassion, what you must soon do out of necessity.-I am, madam, your most obedient, and most humble servant.'

This person dresses just as she did before I writ; as does also the lady to whom I addressed the following billet the same day:

It is humbly submitted to consideration, whe'MADAM,-Let me beg of you to take off the ther the project would not be better if the per-patches at the lower end of your left cheek, and sons of true fame meet in a middle room, those I will allow two more under your left eye, which of dubious existence in an upper room, and those will contribute more to the symmetry of your of evil fame in a lower dark room. black atoms on your ladyship's chin and wear face; except you would please to remove the ten one large patch instead of them. If so, you may properly enough retain the three patches above mentioned.-I am, &c.'

It is to be noted, that no historians are to be admitted at any of these tables; because they are appointed to conduct the several persons to their seats, and are to be made use of as ushers

to the assemblies.

I call upon the learned world to send me their assistance towards this design, it being a matter of too great moment for any one person to determine. But I do assure them, their lists shall be examined with great fidelity, and those that are exposed to the public, made with all the

caution imaginable.

In the mean time, while I wait for these lists, I am employed in keeping people in a right way to avoid the contrary to fame and applause; to wit, blame, and derision. For this end, I work upon that useful project of the penny-post, by the benefit of which it is proposed, that a charitable society be established: from which society there shall go every day, circular letters to all parts within the bills of mortality, to tell people of their faults in a friendly and private manner, whereby they may know what the world thinks of them, before it is declared to the world that they are thus faulty. This method cannot fail of universal good consequences: for, it is further added, that they who will not be reformed by it, must be contented to see the several letters print. ed, which were not regarded by them, that when they will not take private reprehension, they may be tried further by a public one. I am very sorry I am obliged to print the following epistles of that kind, to some persons, and the more because they are of the fair sex.

This, I thought, had all the civility and reason in the world in it; but whether my letters are intercepted, or whatever it is, the lady patches as she used to do. It is to be observed by all the charitable society, as an instruction in their epistles, that they tell people of nothing but what instance of this way of writing: two sisters in is in their power to mend. I shall give another Essex-street are eternally gaping out of the window, as if they knew not the value of time, or would call in companions. Upon which I writ the following line:

DEAR CREATURES,-On the receipt of this, shut your casements.'

at the window. What can a man do in this
But I went by yesterday, and found them still
case, but
integrity, with satisfaction only in this melan-
go on, and wrap himself up in his own
choly truth, that virtue is its own reward, and
that if no one is the better for his admonitions,
yet he is himself the more virtuous in that he
gave those advices?

St. James's Coffee-house, September 12.

Letters of the thirteenth instant from the duke

of Marlborough's camp at Havre, advise, that This went on Friday last to a very fine ladying the trenches before Mons. The direction the necessary dispositions were made for openMADAM,-I am highly sensible that there is of the siege is to be committed to the prince of nothing of so tender a nature as the reputation range, who designed to take his post accordand conduct of ladies; and that when there is ingly, with thirty battalions and thirty squadthe least stain got into their fame, it is hardly lieutenant-general Cadogan* set out for Brussels, rons, on the day following. On the seventeenth ever to be washed out. When I have said this, to hasten the ammunition and artillery which is you will believe I am extremely concerned to to be employed in this enterprise; and the conhear, at every visit I make, that your manner federate army was extended from the Haisne to of wearing your hair is a mere affectation of the Troulle, in order to cover the siege. The beauty, as well as that your neglect of powder loss of the confederates in the late battle is not has been a common evil to your sex. It is to you an advantage to show that abundance of fine exactly known; but it appears, by a list transtresses: but I beseech you to consider, that the force of your beauty, and the imitation of you, costs Eleonora great sums of money to her tirewoman for false locks, besides what is allowed to her maid for keeping the secret, that she is gray. I must take leave to add to this admoni

* No officer was so much relied upon by the duke of Marlborough. Ile had the care of making out almost every camp during the war in the Netherlands and Germany, which he executed so skillfully, that it is observed, the duke was never surprised or attacked in camp, during all that war.

mitted to the states-general, that the number of the killed and wounded in their service amounts to above eight thousand. It is computed, that the English have lost fifteen hundred men, and the rest of the allies above five thousand, including the wounded. The states-general have taken the most speedy and effectual measures for reinforcing their troops; and it is expected, that in eight or ten days the army will be as numerous as before the battle. The affairs in Italy afford us nothing remarkable; only that it is hoped, the difference between the courts of Vienna and Turin will be speedily accommodated. Letters from Poland present us with a near prospect of seeing king Augustus re-established on the throne, all parties being very industrious to re-juries of time, and recommended themselves so concile themselves to his interests.

* Published about the beginning of the last century, of securing a die has lately been sent me, by a

The fair sex, who are made of man and not of earth, have a more delicate humanity than we have; and pity is the most common cause of their tears: for as we are inwardly composed of an aptitude to every circumstance of life, and every thing that befalls any one person might have happened to any other of the human race; self-love, and a sense of the pain we ourselves should suffer in the circumstances of any whom we pity, is the cause of that compassion. Such a reflection in the breast of a woman, immediately inclines her to tears; but in a man, it makes him think how such a one ought to act on that occasion suitably to the dignity of his nature. Thus a woman is ever moved for those whom she hears lament, and a man for those whom he observes to suffer in silence. It is a man's own behaviour in the circumstances he is under, which procures him the esteem of others, and not merely the affliction itself which demands our pity; for we never give a man that passion which he falls into for himself. He that commends himself never purchases our applause; nor he who bewails himself, our pity.

person who was of the fraternity, but is disabled by the loss of a finger; by which means he cannot practise that trick as he used to do. But I am very much at a loss how to call some of the fair sex, who are accomplices with the Knights of Industry; for my metaphorical dogs are easily enough understood; but the feminine gender of dogs has so harsh a sound, that we know not how to name it. But I am credibly informed, that there are female dogs as voracious as the males, and make advances to young fellows, without any other design but coming to a familiarity with their purses. I have also long lists of persons of condition, who are certainly of the same regimen with these banditti, and instrumental to their cheats upon undiscerning men of their own rank. These add their good reputation to carry on the impostures of others, whose very names would else be defence enough against falling into their hands. But, for the honour of our nation, these shall be unmentioned; provided we hear no more of such practices, and that they shall not from henceforward suffer the society of such as they know to be the common enemies of order, discipline and virtue. If it appear that they go on in encouraging them, they must be proceeded against according to the severest rules of history, where all is to be laid before the world with impartiality, and withouted up. All that passed by made what haste they respect to persons,

So let the stricken deer go weep.'

Will's Coffee-house, September 14.

I find left here for me the following epistle: 'SIR,-Having lately read your discourse about the family of Trubies, wherein you observed, that there are some who fall into laughter out of a certain benevolence in their temper, and not out of the ordinary motive, viz. contempt, and triumph over the imperfections of others; I have conceived a good idea of your knowledge of mankind. And, as you have a tragi-comic genius, I beg the favour of you to give us your thoughts of a quite different effect, which also is caused by other motives than what are commonly taken notice of. What I would have you treat of, is the cause of shedding tears. I desire you would discuss it a little, with observations upon the various occasions which provoke us to that expression of our concern, &c.

To obey this complaisant gentleman, I know no way so short as examining the various touches of my own bosom, on several occurrences in a long life, to the evening of which I am arrived, after as many various incidents as any body has met with. Í have often reflected, that there is a great similitude in the motions of the heart in mirth and in sorrow; and I think the usual occasion of the latter, as well as the former, is something which is sudden and unexpected. The mind has not a sufficient time to recollect its force, and immediately gushes into tears before we can utter ourselves by speech or complaint. The most notorious causes of these drops from our eyes are pity, sorrow, joy, and

reconciliation.

*Tatler, No. 63.

Going through an alley the other day, I observed a noisy impudent beggar bawl out, 'that he was wounded in a merchant-man; that he had lost his poor limbs; and showed a leg clout

could out of his sight and hearing; but a poor fellow at the end of the passage, with a rusty coat, a melancholy air, and soft voice, desired them to look upon a man not used to beg.' The latter received the charity of almost every one that went by. The strings of the heart, which are to be touched to give us compassion, are not so played on but by the finest hand. We see in tragical representations, it is not the pomp of language, nor the magnificence of dress, in which the passion is wrought, that touches sensible spirits; but something of a plain and simple nature, which breaks in upon our souls by that sympathy which is given us for our mutual good-will and service.

In the tragedy of Macbeth,' where Wilks acts the part of a man whose family has been murdered in his absence, the wildness of his passion, which is run over in a torrent of calamitous circumstances, does but raise my spirits, and give me the alarm: but when he skilfully seems to be out of breath, and is brought too low to say more; and upon a second reflection cries only, wiping his eyes, What, both chil dren! Both, both my children gone!' there is no resisting a sorrow which seems to have cast about for all the reasons possible for its consolaThere is not one tion, but has no resource. left; but both, both are murdered!' such sudden starts from the thread of the discourse, and a plain sentiment expressed in an artless way, are the irresistible strokes of cloquence and poetry. The same great master, Shakspeare, can afford us instances of all the places where our souls are accessible; and ever commands our tears. But it is to be observed, that he draws them from some unexpected source, which seems not wholly of a piece with the discourse. Thus, when Brutus and Cassius had a debate in the tragedy of 'Cæsar,' and rose to warm language against each other, insomuch that it had almost come to

something that might be fatal, until they recol- | invented by an apothecary, since a gamester: lected themselves; Brutus does more than make a little of which he puts upon his fore-finger, an apology for the heat he had been in, by say- and that holds the die in the box at his devoing, Portia is dead.' Here Cassius is all ten- tion. Great sums have been lately won by derness, and ready to dissolve, when he consi- these ways; but it is hoped, that this hint of ders that the mind of his friend had been em- his manner of cheating will open the eyes of ployed on the greatest affliction imaginable, many who are every day imposed upon. when he had been adding to it by a debate on trifles; which makes him, in the anguish of his heart, cry out, 'How scaped I killing, when I thus provoked you?' This is an incident which moves the soul in all its sentiments; and Cassius's heart was at once touched with all the soft pangs of pity, remorse, and reconciliation. It is said, indeed, by Horace, 'If you would have me weep, you must first weep yourself." This is not literally true; for it would have been as rightly said, if we observe nature, That I shall certainly weep, if you do not: but what is intended by that expression is, that it is not possible to give passion, except you show that you suffer yourself. Therefore, the true art seems to be, that when you would have the person you represent pitied, you must show him at once in the highest grief, and struggling to bear it with decency and patience. In this case, we sigh for him, and give him every groan he suppresses.

There is now in the press, and will be suddenly published, a book entitled, 'An Appendix to the Contempt of the Clergy;'* wherein will be set forth at large, that all our dissensions are owing to the laziness of persons in the sacred ministry, and that none of the present schisms could have crept into the flock, but by the negligence of the pastors. There is. a digression in this treatise, proving, that the pretences made by the priesthood, from time to time, that the church was in danger, is only a trick to make the laity passionate for that of which they themselves have been negligent. The whole concludes with an exhortation to the clergy, to the study of eloquence, and practice of piety, as the only method to support the highest of all honours, that of a priest who lives and acts according to his character.

No. 69.]

Saturday, September 17, 1709.

Quid oportet

Nos facere, a vulgo longe lateque remotos?
Hor. 1 Sat. v. i. 17.

But how shall we, who differ far and wide,
From the mere vulgar, this great point decide.
Francis.

From my own Apartment, September 16.

I remember, when I was young enough to follow the sports of the field, I have more than once rode off at the death of a deer, when I have seen the animal, in an affliction which appeared human, without the least noise, let fall tears when he was reduced to extremity; and I have thought of the sorrow I saw him in, when his haunch came to the table. But our tears are not given only to objects of pity, but . the mind has recourse to that relief in all occasions which give us great emotion. Thus, to be apt to shed tears is a sign of a great as IT is, as far as it relates to our present being, well as little spirit. I have heard say, the pre- the great end of education to raise ourselves sent pope* never passes through the people, who above the vulgar; but what is intended by the always kneel in crowds, and ask his benedic- vulgar, is not, methinks, enough understood. tion, but the tears are seen to flow from his In me, indeed, that word raises a quite different eyes. This must proceed from an imagination idea from what it usually does in others; but that he is the father of all those people; and perhaps that proceeds from my being old, and that he is touched with so extensive a benevo-beginning to want the relish of such satisfac lence, that it breaks out into a passion of tears. However, such as my opinion is in this case, tions as are the ordinary entertainment of men. You see friends, who have been long absent; will speak it; bucause it is possible that turn of transported in the same manner: a thousand little images crowd upon them at their meet- thought may be received by others, who may ing, as all the joys and griefs they have known reap as much satisfaction from it as I do myself. during their separation; and, in one hurry of thought, they conceive how they should have participated in those occasions; and weep, because their minds are too full to wait the slow expression of words.

His lacrymis vitam damus, et miserescimus ultro. Virg. Æn. ii. 145. With tears the wretch confirmed his tale of woc; And soft-ey'd pity pleaded for the foe. R. Wynne. There is lately broke loose from the London pack, a very tall dangerous biter. He is now at the Bath, and it is feared will make a damnable havoc amongst the game. His manner of biting is new, and he is called the Top. He secures one die betwixt his two fingers: the other is fixed, by the help of a famous wax,

* Pope Clement XI.

I

It is to me a very great meanness, and something much below a philosopher, which is what

mean by a gentleman, to rank a man among the vulgar for the condition of life he is in, and not according to his behaviour, his thoughts, and sentiments, in that condition. For if a man be loaded with riches and honours, and in that state of life has thoughts and inclinations below the meanest artificer; is not such an artificer, who, within his power, is good to his friends, moderate in his demands for his labour, and cheerful in his occupation, very much superior to him who lives for no other end but to serve himself, and assumes a preference in all his words and actions to those who act their part with much more grace than himself?

*A celebrated book, written by Dr. John Eachard, and published in 1615.