Either get thee from the door,or sit down at the hatch: Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store, When one is one too many? Go,get thee from the door. Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street. Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet. Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore. Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not din'd to-day. Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may. Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe? Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio. Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, who Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce! Luce. Faith no; he comes too late; And so tell your master. Dro. E. O Lord, I must laugh: Have at you with a proverb.- Shall I set in my staff? Luce. Have at you with another: that's, When? can you tell? Dro. S. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, Luce. I thought to have ask'd you. Dro. S. And you said, no. Ant. E. Go,fetch me something, I'll break ope the gate. Dro. S. Break any thing here, and I'll break your Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, sir; and Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind. Dro. S. It seems thou wantest breaking: out upon thee, hind! Dro. E. Here's too much, out upon thee! I pray thee, let me in. Dro. S. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin. Ant. E. Well, I'll break in; go, borrow me a crow! If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together. Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was For ever hous'd, where it once gets possession. blow for blow. Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in! Luce. Can you tell, for whose sake? Luce. Let him knock till it ache! Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down. Luce. What needs all this, and a pair of stocks in the town? Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise? Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys. Ant E. Are you there, wife? you might have come Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go,get you from the door! Ant. E. You have prevail'd; I will depart in quiet, Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty; Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife! 'Tis holy sport, to be a little vain, When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife. Ant. S. Sweet mistress, (what your name is else, I know not, Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine,) Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you show not, Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine. Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak; Lay open to my earthly gross conceit, Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, The folded meaning of your words' deceit. Against my soul's pure truth why labour you, To make it wander in an unknown field? Are you a god? would you create me new? Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know, Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe; Far more, far more, to you do I decline. Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night. Luc. That's my sister. Ant. S. No; It is thyself, mine own self's better part; Luc. O, soft, sir, hold you still ! Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where run'st thou so fast? Dro. S. Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am your man? am I myself? I Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself. I Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself. Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself? Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim, as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me. Ant. S. What is she? Dro. S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one, as a man may not speak of, without he say, sir-reverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage. Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage? Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease; and I know not, what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer, than the whole world. Ant. S. What complexion is she of? Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept; for why? she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. Ant. S. That's a fault, that water will mend. Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. Ant. S. What's her name? Dro. S. Nell, sir;-but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip. Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth? Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her. Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland? Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs. Ant. S. Where Scotland? Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness; hard, in the palm of the hand. Ant. S. Where France? Dro. S. In her forehead; armed and reverted, making war against her hair. Ant. S. Where England? Dro. S. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them; but I guess, it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. Ant. S. Where Spain? Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in her breath. Ant. S. Where America, the Indies? Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole armadas of carracks, to be ballast at her nose. Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? Dro. S. O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, called me Dromio, swore, I was assured to her, told me, what privy marks I had about me, as the mark on my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch: and, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transformed me to a curtaildog, and made me turn i'the wheel. Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road! And if the wind blow any way from shore, will not harbour in this town to-night. If any bark put forth, come to the mart, [Exit. Ant. S. There's none but witches do inhabit here; I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song. Ang. Master Antipholus? Ant. S. Ay, that's my name. Ang. I know it well, sir: lo, here is the chain: Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, АСТ IV. SCENE I.-The sume. [Exit. Enter a Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer. Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, sus. Off. That labour may you save; see where he comes. How much your chain weighs to the utmost carrat; I pray you, see him presently discharg'd; Ant. E. I am not furnish'd with the present money; Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her yourself? Ang. Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you? I Ang. Come, come, you know, I gave it you even now; Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer you? Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it : Mer. Well, officer, arrest him at my suit! Off. I do; and charge you, in the duke's name, to obey me. Ang. This touches me in reputation: Either consent to pay this sum for me, Or I attach you by this officer. Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had! Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. What ship of Epidamnum stays for me? Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage. Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more leisure, [Exeunt Merchant, Angelo, Officer, and Dro. S. To Adriana! that is where we din'd, SCENE II.-The same. Adr. Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so? [Exit. Look'd he or red, or pale; or sad, or merrily? Luc. First, he denied, you had in him no right. Adr. He meant, he did me none; the more my spite. Luc. Then swore he, that he was a stranger here. dr. And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were. Luc. Then pleaded I for you. Adr. And what said he? Luc. That love, I begg'd for you, he begg'd of me. Adr. With what persuasion did he tempt thy love? Luc. With words, that in an honest suit might move. First, he did praise my beauty; then, my speech. Adr. Did'st speak him fair? Luc. Have patience, I beseech. Adr. I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still; My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will. He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere, Ill-fac'd, worse-bodied, shapeless every where; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making, worse in mind. Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one? No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone. Adr. Ah! but I think him better, than I say, And yet would herein others' eyes were worse: Far from her nest the lapwing cries away; My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Here, go; the desk, the purse; sweet now, make haste! Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath? Dro. S. By running fast. Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well? A devil in an everlasting garment hath him, A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough; A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff; Adr. Go fetch it, sister! This I wonder at, [Exit Luciana. That he, unknown to me, should be in debt:Tell me, was he arrested on a band? Dro. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing, | A chain, a chain; do you not hear it ring? Adr. What, the chain? Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time, that I were gone. It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear. Dro. S. O yes, if any hour meet a sergeant, a' turns back for very fear. Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason? Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more, than Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse. Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth salute me, And every one doth cali me by my name. As if I were their well-acquainted friend; Some tender money to me, some invite me; Some other give me thanks for kindnesses; Some offer me commodities to buy: Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop, And show'd me silks, that he had bought for me, And, therewithal, took measure of my body. Sure these are but imaginary wiles, And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, here's the gold, you sent me for: What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparell'd? Ant. S. What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean? Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he, that goes in the calf's-skin, that was killed for the prodigal; he, that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. Ant. S. I undersand thee not. Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he, that sets up his A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one, that coun-rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a mortermands The passages ofalleys, creeks and harrow lands; A hound, that runs counter, and yet draws dry-foot well; One that, before the judgement, carries poor souls to hell. ris-pike. I Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is That I should be attach'd in Ephesus: Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I; Some blessed power deliver us from hence! Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus ! Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; Enter DROMIO of Ephesus, with a rope's end. Dro. E. Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope. Ant. E. And to that end, sir, I will welcome you. Off. Good sir, be patient! Dro. E. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity. Off. Good now, hold thy tongue! Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass. Dro. E. Jam an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir. Ant. S. Why, Dromio? Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil. Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping? Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress: I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone. Cour. Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner, A nut, a cherry-stone; but she, more covetous, Master, be wise; an' if you give it her, The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it, Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. SCENE IV. - The same. vity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the Courtezan, with I Ant. E. Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder. Dro. E. Mistress, respice finem, respect your end; or rather the prophecy, like the parrot, Beware the rope's end. Ant. E. Wilt thou still talk? [Beats him. I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven. Adr. O, husband, God doth know, you din'd at home, Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and an Officer. And will not lightly trust the messenger, Ant. E. I din'd at home! Thou villain, what say'st Dro. E. Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home. out. Ant. E. And did not she herself revile me there? |