John MacCunn in "The Making of Character" Alexander Pope And though Aristotle does well to warn us that absence dissolves friendship, it is happily none the less true that friend may powerfully influence friend though the two be by no means constant associates. Even far removal in place, or in occupation, or in fortunes, cannot arrest influence. For once any man has true friends, he never again frames his decisions, even those that are the most secret, as if he were alone in the world. He frames them habitually in the imagined company of friends. In their visionary presence he thinks and acts; and by them as visionary tribunal, he feels himself, even in his unspoken intentions and inmost feelings, to be judged. In this aspect, friendship may become a supreme force both to encourage and restrain. For it is not simply what our friends expect of us that is the vital matter here. They are too often more tolerant of our failings than is perhaps good for us. It is what in our best moments we believe that they expect of us. For it is then that they become to us, not of their own choice, but of ours, a kind of second conscience, in whose presence our weaknesses and backslidings become "that worst kind of sacrilege that tears down the invisible altar of trust." A decent boldness ever meets with friends. Every man should have a fair sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends. Henry Ward Beecher Our chief want in life is, somebody who Ralph shall make us do what we can. This is the service of a friend. Some seem to make a man a friend, or try to do so, because he lives near, because he is in the same business, travels on the same line of railway, or for some other trivial There cannot be a greater mistake. reason. Waldo Lord Avebury in "The Pleasures of Life" As I love nature, as I love singing birds, Henry David and gleaming stubble, and flowing rivers, Thoreau and morning, and evening, and summer, and winter, I love thee, my friend. Thomas Blessed are they who have the gift of making friends, for it is one of God's best Hughes gifts. It involves many things, but, above all, the power of going out of one's self, and appreciating whatever is noble and loving in another. Think of this doctrine-that reasoning Marcus Aurelius beings were created for one another's sake; that to be patient is a branch of justice, and that men sin without intending it. If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love our friends for Bronté their sakes rather than for our own. Charlotte James Russell Lowell Lord Chesterfield Bruce Hender son Amy C. H. C. Chatfield Taylor John J. Warner Frances F. Graves George C. Emerson Open to me thy heart of heart's deep core, Do not let your self-love make you suppose that people become your friends at first sight, or even upon short acquaintance. Suspicion is well in its place, but one cultivates it at the expense of friendliness. And it is better to have friends than suspicions. Cultivate friendliness, for it is the seed of friendship. The prime requisite in a good friend is the habit of good impulses. Have friends of your own trade that shoptalk may make you skillful; have friends in other trades lest shop-talk leave you unskillful. An affectionate disposition is the soil in which friendship roots itself most quickly and most deeply. If you have a vice and would rid yourself of it, take for your friends those who have it not. What are the best days in memory? Those in which we met a companion who was truly such. Learn that to love is the one way to know Of them that love him; but his own love bestowed When thine heart goeth out to a man seek not to call it back, for it is better in the keeping of a friend than in thine own. There is no virtue in a man that does not make him a better friend; no vice that does not make him worse. It is a wise man who shares his reading. with those he loves, since the more friends have in common the friendlier they are certain to be. Nature teaches beasts to know their friends. Remembering that happiness is a prime requisite to usefulness, you will be assured that friends conduce both to happiness and usefulness. Jean Ingelow Christopher Bannister Oliver M. Gale Christopher Bannister Shakespeare Brewster Matthews There are men born for friendship, men to whom the cultivation of it is nature, is Walter Savage Landor necessity. Nothing strengthens friendship more Honoré than for one friend to feel himself the su- de Balzac perior of the other. Edward Wightman "The Friend" J. R. Miller Euripides Wright's "Pas sions" Char lotte Bronté George Roberts Robert L. Lori mer Take the lid from off your heart and let me see Curious, I, and impudent, a rugged man of sin. I probe your wound and chafe your limbs and get That you are strengthened as we fare the forest and the lea. Strike hands with me, the glasses brim, the sun is on the heather, And love is good and life is long and two are best together. Wanting to have a friend is altogether different from wanting to be a friend. It is delicious to behold the face of a friendly and sweet person. Soon angry, soon friended. Friendship is a plant which cannot be forced. True friendship is no gourd, springing in a night and withering in a day. Every modern man must be many-sided; for every side he needs a friend. Study yourself until you know where you are strong and where weak; study your acquaintance until you find a man weak where you are strong and strong where you are weak, that the benefits may be reciprocal; and make that man your friend. |