The knight, with various doubts possessed,
To win the lady goes in quest
Of Sidrophel the Rosicrucian,
To know destinics' resolution;
With whom being met, they both chop logic
About the science astrologic;
Till falling from dispute to fight,
The conjurer's worsted by the knight.
DOUBTLESS the
OUBTLESS the pleasure is as great
Of being cheated, as to cheat;
As lookers-on feel most delight,
That least perceive a juggler's sleight,
5 And still the less they understand,
The more th' admire his sleight of hand.
Some with a noise, and greasy light,
Are snapped, as men catch larks by night,
Ensnared and hampered by the soul,
10 As nooses by the legs catch fowl.
Some, with a medicine, and receipt,
Are drawn to nibble at the bait;
And though it be a two-foot trout,
'Tis with a single hair pulled out.
15 Others believe no voice t' an organ
So sweet as lawyer's in his bar-gown,
Until, with subtle cobweb-cheats,
They're catched in knotted law, like nets; In which, when they are once imbrangled, 20 The more they stir, the more they're tangled ;` And while their purses can dispute, There's no end of th' immortal suit. Others still gape t' anticipate
The cabinet designs of fate, 25 Apply to wizards, to foresee
What shall, and what shall never be ;
And as those vultures do forebode,
Believe events prove bad or good:
A flam more senseless than the roguery
30 Of old aruspicy and augury,
That out of garbages of cattle
Presaged th' events of truce or battle ;
From flight of birds, or chickens pecking,
Success of great'st attempts would reckon :
35 Though cheats, yet more intelligible.
Than those that with the stars do fribble.
This Hudibras by proof found true,
As in due time and place we'll shew;
For he, with beard and face made clean,
40 Being mounted on his steed again-
And Ralpho got a cock-horse too,
Upon his beast, with much ado
Advanced on for the widow's house,
T'acquit himself, and pay his vows;
45 When various thoughts began to bustle,
And with his inward man to justle.
He thought what danger might accrue,
If she should find he swore untrue;
Or if his squire or he should fail,
50 And not be punctual in their tale,
It might at once the ruin prove
Both of his honour, faith, and love:
But if he should forbear to go,
She might conclude he 'ad broke his vow;
And that he durst not now, for shame,
Appear in court to try his claim.
This was the pen'worth of his thought,
To pass time, and uneasy trot.
Quoth he, In all my past adventures 60 I ne'er was set so on the tenters, Or taken tardy with dilemma,
every way I turn does hem me, And with inextricable doubt,
Besets my puzzled wits about:
65 For though the dame has been my bail,
To free me from enchanted jail,
Yet, as a dog, committed close
For some offence, by chance breaks loose,
And quits his clog; but all in vain,
70 He still draws after him his chain:
So though my ankle she has quitted,
My heart continues still committed;
And like a bailed and mainprized lover,
Although at large, I am bound over:
And when I shall appear in court
To plead my cause, and answer for 't,
Unless the judge do partial prove,
What will become of me and love,
For if in our account we vary,
8% Or but in circumstance miscarry ;
Or if she put me to strict proof,
And make me pull my doublet off,
To shew, by evident recòrd,
Writ on my skin, I've kept my word,
85 How can I e'er expect to have her,
Having demurred unto her favour?
But faith, and love, and honour lost,
Shall be reduced t'a knight o' th' post?
Beside, that stripping may prevent
What I'm to prove by argument,
And justify I have a tail,
And that way, too, my proof may fail.
Oh! that I could enucleate,
And solve the problems of my fate;
Or find, by necromantic art,
How far the destinies take my part;
For if I were not more than certain
To win and wear her, and her fortune,
I'd go no farther in this courtship,
To hazard soul, estate, and worship:
For though an oath obliges not,
Where anything is to be got,
As thou hast proved, yet 'tis profane,
And sinful, when men swear in vain.'
Quoth Ralph, 'Not far from hence doth dwell
A cunning man, hight Sidrophel,
That deals in destiny's dark counsels,
And sage opinions of the moon sells,
To whom all people, far and near,
110 On deep importances repair:
When brass and pewter hap to stray,
And linen slinks out o' the way;
When geese and pullen are seduced,
And sows of sucking pigs are chowsed;
When cattle feel indisposition,
And need th' opinion of physician;
When murrain reigns in hogs or sheep,
And chickens languish of the pip;
When yeast and outward means do fail,
And have no power to work on ale;
When butter does refuse to come,
And love proves cross and humoursome ;
To him with questions, and with urine,
They for discovery flock, or curing.'
Quoth Hudibras, This Sidrophel
I've heard of, and should like it well,
If thou canst prove the saints have freedom
To go to sorcerers when they need 'em.'
Says Ralpho, There's no doubt of that; 130 Those principles I quoted late
Prove that the godly may allege
For anything their privilege,
And to the devil himself may go,
If they have motives thereunto:
For as there is a war between
The devil and them, it is no sin
If they, by subtle stratagem,
Make use of him, as he does them.
Has not this present parliament
140 A ledger to the devil sent,
Fully empowered to treat about
Finding revolted witches out?
And has not he, within a year,
Hanged threescore of 'em in one shire?
Some only for not being drowned,
And some for sitting above ground
Whole days and nights, upon their breeches, And feeling pain, were hanged for witches. And some for putting knavish tricks 150 Upon green geese and turkey-chicks, Or pigs, that suddenly deceased
Of griefs unnatural, as he guessed ;
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