N° 36. ftabb'd himself, and Hannibal drank Poison; but our Africanus lives in the continual Puncture of aching Bones and poifon'd Juices. The old Heroes fled from Torments by Death, and this Modern lives in Death and Torments, with an Heart wholly bent upon a Supply for remaining in them. An ordinary Spirit would fink under his Oppreffions, but he makes an Advantage of his very Sorrow, and raises an Income from his Diseases. Long has this Worthy been converfant in Bartering, and knows that when Stocks are lowest, it is the Time to buy. Therefore, with much Prudence and Tranquillity, he thinks that now he has not a Bone found, but a Thousand nodous Parts for which the Anatomists have not Words, and more Diseases than the College ever heard of, it is the only Time to purchase an Annuity for Life. Sir Thomas told me, it was an Entertainment more furprizing and pleasant than can be imagined, to see an Inhabitant of neither World without Hand to lift, or Leg to move, fcarce Tongue to utter his Meaning, so keen upon biting the whole World, and making Bubbles, at his Exit. Sir Thomas added, that he would have bought twelve Shillings a Year of him, but that he feared there was fome Trick in it, and believed him already dead. What fays the Knight, is Mr. Partridge, whom I met juft now going on both his Legs firmer than I can, allowed to be quite dead; and fhall Africanus, without one Limb that can do its Office, be pronounced alive?

WHAT heightened the Tragi-Comedy of this Market for Annuities was, that the Obfervation of it provoked Monoculus (who is the moft Eloquent of all Men) to many excellent Reflections, which he spoke with the Vehemence and Language both of a Gamester and an Orator. When I caft (faid that delightful Speaker) my Eye upon thee, thou unaccountable Africanus, ĺ cannot but call myfelf as unaccountable as thou art : ⚫ for certainly we were born to fhew what Contradictions Nature is pleased to form in the fame Species. Here am I, able to eat, to drink, to fleep, and to do all Acts ⚫ of Nature, except begetting my Like; and yet by an unintelligible Force of Spleen and Fancy, I every Moment imagine I am dying. It is utter Madness in

⚫ thee

thee to provide for Supper; for I'll bet you ten to one, you don't live till half an Hour after four; and yet I am fo distracted as to be in fear every Moment, though I'll lay ten to three, I drink three Pints of burnt Claret at your Funeral three Nights hence. After all, I envy thee, thou that haft no Sense of Death, art happier than ⚫ one that always fears it.' The Knight had gone on, but that a third Man ended the Scene by applauding the Knight's Eloquence and Philosophy, in a Laughter too violent for his own conftitution, as much as he mock'd that of Africanus and Monoculus.

St. James's Coffee-house, July 1.

THIS Day arrived three Mails from Holland, with Advices relating to the Pofture of Affairs in the LowCountries, which fay, That the Confederate Army extends from Luchin, on the Causeway between Tournay and Lifle, to Epain near Mortagne on the Scheld. The Marshal Villars remains in his Camp at Lens, but it is faid, he detached ten thousand Men under the Command of the Chevalier de Luxembourg, with Orders to form a Camp at Crepin on the Haine, between Conde and St. Guillain, where he is to be joined by the Elector of Bavaria with a Body of Troops, and after their Conjunction, to attempt to march into Brabant. But they write from Bruffels, That the Duke of Marlborough having it equally in his Power to make Detachments to the fame Parts, they are under no Apprehenfions from thefe Reports for the Safety of their Country. They further add from Bruffels, that they have good Authority for believing that the French Troops under the Conduct of the Marthal de Bezons are retiring out of Spain.

By Mrs. Jenny Diftaff, Half-Sifter to Mr. Bickerstaff.

N° 37.

T

Tuesday, July 5, 1709.

White's Chocolate-house, July 2.

I any go

be thought very unaccountable, that I, who,

to talk to you of Matters proper for, or in the Style of, that place. But though I never vifit these publick Haunts, I converfe with those that do; and for all they pretend fo much to the contrary, they are as talkative as our Sex, and as much at a Lofs to entertain the present Company, without facrificing the laft, as we ourselves. This Reflection has led me into the Confideration of the Ufe of Speech; and made me look over in my Memory all my Acquaintance of both Sexes, to know to which I may more juftly impute the Sin of fuperfluous Difcourfe in regard to Conversation, without entring into it, as it refpects Religion.

I FORESEE my Acquaintance will immediately, upon ftarting this Subject, ask me, How I fhall celebrate Mrs. Alfe Copferwood, the Yorkshire Huntress, who is come to Town lately, and moves as if he were on her Nag, and going to take a Five Bar Gate; and is as loud as if The were following her Dogs? I can easily answer that. for fhe is as foft as Damon, in comparison of her Brother-in-Law, Tom Bellfrey, who is the most accomplish'd Man in this Kingdom for all Gentleman-like Activities and Accomplishments. It is allowed that he is a profefs'd Enemy to the Italian Performers in Mufick. But then for our own native Manner, according to the Cuftoms and known Ufages of our Island, he is to be preferr'd, for the Generality of the Pleasure he bestows, much before thofe Fellows, though they fing to full Theatres. For what is à Theatrical Voice to that of a Fox-hunter? I have been at a mufical Entertainment in

an

an open Field, where it amazed me to hear to what Pitches the chief Mafters could reach. There was a Meeting near our Seat in Staffordshire, and the most eminent in all the Counties of England were at it. How wonderful was the Harmony between Men and Dogs! Robin Cartail of Bucks was to answer to Fowler; Mr. Tinbreaft of Cornwal was appointed to open with Sweetlips, and Beau Slimber a Londoner, undertook to keep up with Trips, a Whelp juft fet in: Tom Bellfrey and Ringwood were coupled together, to fill the Cry on all Occafions, and be in at the Death of the Fox, Hare or Stag; for which both the Dog and the Man were excellently fuited and loved one another, and were as much together as Banifter and King. When Fowler first alarmed the Field, Cartail repeated every Note; Sweetlips's Treble fucceeded, and shook the Wood; Tinbreaft echo'd a Quarter of a Mile beyond it. We were foon after all at a Lofs, till we rid up, and found Trips and Slimber at a Default in half Notes: But the Day and the Tune was recovered by Tom Bellfrey and Ringwood, to the great Joy of us all, though they drowned every other voice: For Bellfrey carries a Note four Furlongs, three Rods and fix Paces, further than any other in England.

I fear the Mention of this will be thought a Digref-fion from my Purpofe about Speech: But I answer, No. Since this is used where Speech rather should be imploy-ed, it may come into Confideration in the fame Chapter: For Mr. Bellfrey being at a Vifit where I was, viz. his Coufin's (Lady Dainty's) in Soho, who afked, What Entertainments they had in the Country? Now Bellfrey is very ignorant, and much a Clown; but confident withal. In a Word, he ftruck up a Fox-chafe; Lady Dainty's Dog, Mr. Sippet, as the calls him, ftarted and jump'd out of his Lady's Lap, and fell a Barking. Bellfrey went on, and called all the neighbouring Parishes into the Square. Never was Woman in fuch Confufion asthat delicate Lady. But there was no ftopping her KinfA Room full of Ladies fell into the most violent Laughter My Lady looked as if fhe was fhrieking; Mr. Sippet in the Middle of the Room, breaking his Heart with Barking, but all of us unheard. As foon as

man.

K. 5.

Bellfrey

Bellfrey became filent, up gets my Lady, and takes him by the Arm to lead him off; Bellfrey was in his Boots. As fhe was hurrying him away, his Spurs take hold of her Petticoat; his Whip throws down a Cabinet of China: He cries, What! are your Crocks rotten? Are your Petticoats ragged? A Man can't walk in your House for Trin

sums.

EVERY County of Great Britain has one hundred or more of this Sort of Fellows, who roar instead of fpeaking. Therefore if it be true, that we Women are alfo given to a greater Fluency of Words than is neceffary, fure she that disturbs but a Room or a Family is more to be tolerated, than one who draws together whole Parishes and Counties, and fometimes (with an Estate that might make him the Bleffing and Ornament of the World around him) has no other View and Ambition, but to be an Animal above Dogs and Horfes, without the Relish of any one Enjoyment, which is peculiar to the Faculties of human Nature. I know it will here be said, that talking of mere Country Squires at this Rate, is, as it were, to write against Valentine and Orfon. To prove any Thing against the Race of Men, you must take them as they are adorned with Education, as they live in Courts, or have received Inftructions in Colleges.

BUT I am fo full of my late Entertainment by Mr. Bellfrey, that I muft defer purfuing this Subject to another Day; and wave the proper Obfervations upon the different Offenders in this Kind, fome by profound Eloquence on fmall Occafions, others by degrading Speech upon great Circumftances. Expect therefore to hear of the whisperer without Bufinefs, the Laugher without Wit, the Complainer without receiving Injuries, and a very large Croud, which I fhall not forestal, who are common (though not commonly observed) Impertinents, whofe Tongues are too voluble for their Brains, and are the general Defpifers of us Women, though we have their Superiors, the men of Senfe, for Our Servants.

St.