White's Chocolate-boufe, June 25.

HAVING taken upon me to cure au the Mind,

pers which proceed from Affections of the Mind, I have laboured fince I first kept this publick Stage, to do all the Good I could, and have perfected many Cures at my own Lodgings; carefully avoiding the common Method of Mountebanks to do their Moft eminent Operations in fight of the People; but must be fo just to my Patients as to declare, they have teftified under their Hands their Senfe of my poor Abilities, and the Good I have done them, which I publifh for the Benefit of the World, and not out of any Thoughts of private Advantage.

I have cured fine Mrs. Spy of a great Imperfection in her Eyes, which made her eternally rolling them from one Coxcomb to another in publick Places, in fo languishing a Manner, that it at once leffened her own Power, and her Beholders Vanity. Twenty Drops of my Ink, placed in certain Letters on which the attentively looked for Half an Hour, have restored her to the true Ufe of her Sight; which is, to guide, and not mislead us. Ever fince fhe took the Liquor, which I call Bickerftaff's Circumfpection-Water, the looks right forward, and can bear being looked at for Half a Day without returning once Glance. This Water has a peculiar Virtue in it, which makes it the only true Cofmetick or Beauty-Wash in the World: The Nature of it is fuch, that if you go to a Glafs, with a Defign to admire your Face, it immediately changes it into downright Deformity. If you confult it only to look with a better Countenance upon your Friends, it immediately gives an Alacrity to the Vifage, and new Grace to the whole Perfon. There is indeed a great deal owing to

the

1

the Conftitution of the Person to whom it is applied : It is in vain to give it when the Patient is in the Rage of the Distemper; a Bride in her first Month, a Lady soon after her Husband's being knighted, or any Person of either Sex who has lately obtained any new Fortune or Preferment must be prepared some time before they use it. It has an Effect upon others, as well as the Patient, when it is taken in due Form. Lady Petulant has by the Use of it cured her Husband of Jealousy, and Lady Gad her whole Neighbourhood of Detraction.

THE Fame of these Things added to my being an old Fellow, makes me extremely acceptable to the Fair Sex. You would hardly believe me, when I tell you there is not a Man in Town fo much their Delight as myself. They make no more of visiting me than going to Madam D'Epingle's. There were two of them, namely, Damia and Clidamira, (I affure you Women of Distinction) who came to fee me this Morning in their way to Prayers; and being in a very diverting Humour, (as Innocence always makes People chearful) they would needs have me according to the Diftinction of pretty and very pretty Fellows, inform them if I thought either of them had a Title to the very pretty among those of their own Sex; and if I did, which was the more deferving of the two?

TO put them to the Trial, Look ye, faid I, I must not rafhly give my Judgment in Matters of this Importance; pray let me fee you dance, I play upon the Kit. They immediately fell back to the lower End of the Room (you may be fure they curt'fy'd low enough to me) and began. Never were two in the World fo equally match'd, and both Scholars to my Namesake Ifaac. Never was Man in fo dangerous a Condition as myfelf, when they began to expand their Charms. Oh! Ladies, Ladies, cried I, not half that Air, you'll fire the House. Both fmiled; for by the Bye, there is no carrying a Metaphor too far, when a Lady's Charms are fpoke of. Somebody, I think, has call'd a fine Woman dancing, a brandifhed Torch of Beauty. These Rivals moved with fuch an agreeable Freedom, that you would believe their Gefture was the neceffary Effect of the Mufick, and not the Product of Skill and

Practice.

زر

Practice. Now Clidamira came on with a Croud of Graces, and demanded my Judgment with fo fweet an Air-And she had no fooner carried it, but Damia made her utterly forgot by a gentle finking, and a Rigadoon Step. The Contest held a full Half hour; and I protest, I faw no manner of Difference in their Perfections, till they came up together, and expected Sentence. Look ye, Ladies, faid I, 1 fee no Difference in the leaft in your Performance; but you Clidamira seem to be fo well fatisfied that I fhall determine for you, that I must give it to Damia, who ftands with fo much Diffidence and Fear, after fhewing an equal Merit to what she pretends to. Therefore, Clidamira, you are a pretty; but, Damia, you are a very pretty Lady. For, faid I, Beauty lofes its Force, if not accompanied with Modefty. She that has an humble. Opinion of herself, will have every body's Applause, because she does not expect it; while the vain Creature loses Approbation through too great a Senfe of deferving it.

From my own Apartment, June 27.

BEING of a very spare and heftive Conflitution, I am forced to make frequent Journies of a Mile or two for fresh Air; and indeed by this laft, which was no farther than the Village of Chelsea, I am farther convinced of the Neceffity of travelling to know the World. For as it is ufual with young Voyagers, as foon as they land upon a Shore to begin their Accounts of the Nature of the People, their Soil, their Government, their Inclinations and their Paffions; so really I fancied I could give you an immediate Defcription of this Village, from the five Fields where the Robbers lie in wait, to the Coffee houfe where the Literati fit in Council. A great Anceftor of ours by the Mother's Side, Mr. Juftice Overdo, (whofe Hiftory is written by Ben. Johnfon) met with more Enormities by walking incog. than he was capable of correcting; and found great Mortifications in obferving alfo Perfons of Eminence, whom he before knew nothing of. Thus it fared with me, even in a Place fo near the Town as this. When I came into the Coffee-houfe, I had not Time to falute the Company, before my Eye was diverted

by

by ten thousand Gimcracks round the Room and on the Cieling. When my first Astonishment was over, comes to me a Sage of a thin and meagre Countenance; which Afpect made me doubt, whether Reading or Fretting had made it fo philofophick: But I very foon perceived him to be of that Sect which the Antients call Gingivifta; in our Language, Tooth-Drawers. I immediately had a Respect for the Man; for these practical Philofophers go upon a very rational Hypothefis, not to cure, but take away the Part affected. My Love of Mankind made me very benevolent to Mr. Salter for fuch is the Name of this eminent Barber and Antiquary. Men are ufually, but unjustly, diftinguished rather by their Fortunes than their Talents, otherwife this Perfonage would make a great Figure in that Clafs of Men which I diftinguish under the Title of odd Fellows. But it is the Misfortune of Perfons of great Genius to have their Faculties diffipated by Attention to too many Things at once. Mr. Salter is an Inftance of this: If he would wholly give himself up to the String, instead of playing twenty Beginnings to Tunes, he might before he dies play Roger de Coubly quite out. I heard him go through his whole Round, and indeed I think he does play the merry Chrift-Church Bells pretty juftly; but he confefs'd to me, he did that rather to fhew he was Orthodox, than that he valued himself upon the Mufick itself. Or if he did proceed in his Anatomy, Why might he not hope in time to cut off Legs, as well as draw Teeth? The Particularity of this Man put me into a deep Thought, whence it fhould proceed that of all the lower Order, Barbers should go further in hitting the Ridiculous, than any other Set of Men. Watermen brawl, Coblers fing: But why muft a Barber be for ever a Politician, a Mufician, an Anatomist, a Poet, and a Phyfician? The learned Voffius fays, his Barber used to comb his Head in Iambicks. And indeed in all Ages, one of this useful Profeffion, this Order of Cofmetick Philofophers, has, been celebrated by the most eminent Hands. You fee the Barber in Don Quixot is one of the principal Charac ters in the Hiftory, which gave me Satisfaction in the Doubt, why Don Saltero writ his Name with a Spanish

Ter

Termination: For he is defcended in a right Line, not from John Tradefcan, as he himself afferts, but from that memorable Companion of the Knight of Mancha. And I hereby certify all the worthy Citizens who travel to see his Rarities, that his double-barrelled Pistols, Targets, Coats of Mail, his Sclopeta and Sword of Toledo, were left to his Ancestor by the faid Don Quixot, and by the faid Ancestor to all his Progeny down to Don Saltero. Though I go thus far in favour of Don Saltero's great Merit, I cannot allow a Liberty he takes of impofing feveral Names (without my Licence) on the Collections he has made, to the Abuse of the good People of England; one of which is particularly calculated to deceive religious Perfons, to the great Scandal of the Well-difpofed, and may introduce heterodox Opinions. He shews you a Straw-Hat, which I know to be made by Madge Pefkard, within three Miles of Bedford; and tells you, It is Pontius Pilate's Wife's Chambermaid's Sifter's Hat. To my Knowledge of this very Hat, it may be added, that the Covering with Straw was never used among the Jews, fince it was demanded of them to make Bricks without it. Therefore this is really nothing, but under the specious Pretence of Learning and Antiquity, to impofe upon the World. There are other Things which I cannot tolerate among his Rarities; as, the China Figure of a Lady in the Glafs-Cafe; the Italian Engine for the Imprisonment of those who go abroad with it: Both which I hereby order to be taken down, or elfe he may expect to have his Letters Patent for making Punch fuperfeded, be debarred wearing his Muff next Winter, or ever coming to London without his Wife. It may perhaps be thought I have dwelt too long upon the Affairs of this Operator; but I defire the Reader to remember that it is my way to confider Men as they ftand in Merit, and not according to their Fortune or Figure and if he is in a Coffee-house at the reading hereof, let him look round, and he will find there may be more Characters drawn in this Account, than that of Don Saltero; for half the Politicians about him, he may obferve, are by their Place in Nature, of the Class of Tooth-Drawers.