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Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell ?
Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate ?
pate. Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of
Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR. Ant. E. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse
us all; My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours : Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop, To see the making of her carkanet', And that to-morrow you will bring it home. But here's a villain, that would face me down He met me on the mart; and that I beat him. And charg’d him with a thousand marks in gold, And that I did deny my wife and house :Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this ?
9 A necklace strung with pearls.
Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what
I know : That you
beat me at the mart, I have your hand to
show : If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave
were ink, Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.
Marry, so it doth appear
Ant. E. You are sad, Signior Balthazar : 'Pray
heaven, our cheer May answer my good will, and your good welcome
here. Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your
welcome dear. Ant. E. O, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or
fish, A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty
dish. Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that
affords. Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's
nothing but words. Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a
Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing
guest : But though my cates' be mean, take them in good
part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better
heart. But, soft ; my door is lock'd: Go bid them let us in.
· Dishes of meat.
Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian,
Jen'! Dro. S. [Within.] Mome', malt-horse, capon,
coxcomb, idiot, patch 3 ! Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the
hatch: Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My
master stays in the street. Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest
he catch cold on's feet. Ant. E. Who talks within there ? ho, open the
door. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll
tell me wherefóre. Ant. E. Wherefore ? for my dinner; I have not
din'd to-day. Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come
again, when you may. Ant. E. What art thou, that keep’st me out from
the house I owe + ? Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and
my name is Dromio. Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine
office and my name; The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle
blame. If thou had'st been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would’st have chang'd thy face for a name, or
thy name for an ass. Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there ? Dromio,
who are those at the gate ? Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce. Luce.
Faith no; he comes too late ; And so tell your master. Dro. E.
O Lord, I must laugh:
2 Blockhead. 4 I own, am owner of..
5 Bustle, tumult.
Have at you with a proverb:
Shall I set in my staff ? Luce. Have at you with another : that's,- -When?
can you tell ? Dro. S. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, thou
hast answer'd him well. Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion ? you'll let us
in, I hope ? Luce. I thought to have ask'd you. Dro. S.
And you said, no. Dro. E. So, come, help ; well struck ; there was
blow for blow.
tell for whose sake ? Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard. Luce.
Let him knock till it ake, Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the
door down. Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in
the town? Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that
keeps all this noise ? Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with
unruly boys. Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have
come before. Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the
door. Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave
would Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we
would fain have either. Bal. In debating which was best, we shall partó
with neither. Dro. E. They stand at the door, master ; bid them
Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we
cannot get in. Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your gar
ments were thin. Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in
the cold : It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so bought
and sold. Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break ope Dro. S. Break any breaking here, and I'll break
knave's pate. Dro. E. Here's too much, out upon thee! I pray
thee, let me in. Dro. S. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish
have no fin. Ant. E. Well, I'll break in; Go, borrow me a
Dro. E. A crow without a feather; master, mean
you so ?
For å fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a
feather : If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow to
gether. Ant. E. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron
of suspect The unviolated honour of
wife. Once this, — Your long experience of her wisdom, Her sober virtue, years, and modesty, Plead on her part some cause to you And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse Why at this time the doors are made against you. Be rul'd by me; depart in patience, And let us to the Tiger all to dinner :
7 i.e. Made fasto