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Ant. S. Dost thou not know?
Dro. S. Ay, sir, and wherefore ; for, they say, every why hath a wherefore. Ant. S. Why, first, — for flouting me; and then,
wherefore, , For urging it the second time to me. Dro. S. Was there ever any man thus beaten out
of season? When, in the why, and the wherefore, is neither
rhyme nor reason ? Well, sir, I thank you.
Ant. S. Thank me, sir ? for what.
Dro. S. Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.
Ant. S. I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it dinnertime?
Dro. S. No, sir; I think, the meat wants that I have.
Ant. S. In good time, sir, what's that ?
Dro. S. Lest it make you cholerick, and purchase me another dry basting.
Ant. S. Well, sir, learn to jest in good time; There's a time for all things.
Dro. S. I durst have denied that, before you were 80 cholerick.
Ant. S. By what rule, sir ? Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of father Time himself.
Ant. S. Let's hear it.
Dro. S. There's no time for a man to recover his hair, that grows bald by nature.
Ant. s. May he not do it by fine and recovery? Dro. S. Yes, to pay a fine for a peruke, and recover the lost hair of another man.
Ant. S. Why is time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful ?
Dro. S. Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts: and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.
Ant. Š. Why, but there's maný a man hath more hair than wit.
Dro. S. Not a man of those, but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.
Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost : Yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity.
Ant. S. For what reason ?
Dro. S. The one, to save the money that he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge.
Ant. S. You would all this time have proved, there is no time for all things.
Dro. S. Marry, and did, sir ; namely, no time to recover hair lost by nature.
Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why there is no time to recover.
Dro. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and therefore, to the word's end, will have bald followers.
Ant. S. I knew, 'twould be a bald conclusion: But soft! who wafts us yonder?
Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.
Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange, and
Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects,
harlot brow, And from my false hand cut the wedding ring, And break it with a deep-divorcing vow ? Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed ; I live dis-stain'd, thou undishonoured.
Ant. S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you
As strange unto your town, as to your talk;
Ant. S. By Dromio ?
That he did buffet thee, and, in his blows
Dro. S. I, sir? I never saw her till this time. Ant. S. Villain, thou liest ; for even her very
words Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.
Dro. S. I never spake with her in all my life. Ant. S. How can she thus then call us by our
names, Unless it be by inspiration ?
Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity, To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, Abetting him to thwart me in my
mood? Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt, But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine: Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine ; Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state, Makes me with thy strength to communicate:. If aught possess thee from me, it is dross, Usurping ivy, briar, or idle? moss ; Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion Infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion.
7 Unfruitful, barren.
Ant. S. To me she speaks ; she moves me for her
theme: What, was I married to her in my dream? Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this? What error drives our eyes and ears amiss ? Until I know this sure uncertainty, I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy. Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for
dinner. Dro. S. O, for my beads ! I cross me for a sinner. This is the fairy land;- 0, spite of spites ! We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites ; If we obey them not, this will ensue, They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue. Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer'st
not? Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!
Dro. S. I am transform'd, master, am not I ?
No, I am an ape. Luc. If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass. Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long for
grass. "Tis so, I am an ass ; else it could never be, But I should know her as well as she knows me.
Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool, To put the finger in the eye
your master, Say, he dinės forth, and let no creature enter. Come, sister : -
- Dromio, play the porter well.
8 Hear your confession.