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She can milk ; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.
Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership?
Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.
Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: What news then in your paper ?
Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st.
Laun. I will try thee : Tell me this : Who begot thee?
Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather.
Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother : this proves, that thou canst not read.
Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper.
Laun. And thereof comes the proverb, --Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.
Speed. Item, She can sew.
3 St. Nicholas presided over young scholars. .
Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock.
Speed. Item, She can wash and scour.
Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured.
Speed. Item, She can spin.
Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living.
Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues.
Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names.
Speed. Here follow her vices.
Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath.
Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on.
Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth.
Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
Speed. Item, She is slow in words.
Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices ! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue.
Speed. Item, She is proud.
Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta’en from her.
Speed. Item, She hath no teeth.
Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
Speed. Item, She is curst.
Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall : if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised.
Speed. Item, She is too liberal.4
Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may ; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed.
Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
Laun. Stop there; I'll have her : she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article : Rehearse that once more.
Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,
Laun. More hair than wit, -it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next?
Speed. And more faults than hairs,
Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious : 5 Well, I'll have her: and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible,
Speed. What then?
A Licentious in language.
Laun. Why, then I will tell thee--that thy master stays for thee at the north gate.
Speed. For me?
Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou ? he hath staid for a better man than thee.
Speed. And must I go to him?
Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn.
Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox of your love-letters!
[Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets !- I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
A Room in the D'ike's Palace.
Enter Duke and ThuriO; PROTEUS behind,
Thu. Since his exíle she hath despis’d me most,
Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure
And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.
Pro. Gone, my good lord.
Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.
Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace,
Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect
Pro. I do, my lord.
Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will.
Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here,
Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so.
Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine
Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hate,
Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it:
Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him,
Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do :