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"rous, returned back to keep company with Virtue,

which, in the beginning of their journey, they "had left behind. Thus, my children, after men "have travelled through a few ftages in vice, Shame "forfakes them, and returns back to wait upon the "few virtues they have ftill remaining."

CHAP. XVI.

The family ufe art, which is oppofed with fill greater. WHATEVER might have been Sophia's fenfa

tions, the rest of the family was eafily confoled for Mr. Burchell's abfence by the company of our landlord, whofe vifits now became more frequent and longer. Though he had been disappointed in procuring my daughters the amufements of the town, as he defigned, he took every opportunity of fupplying them with thofe little recreations which our retirement would admit of. He ufually came in the morning, and while my fon and I followed our occupations abroad, he fat with the family at home, and amused them by defcribing the town, with every part of which he was particularly acquainted. He could repeat all the obfervations that were retailed in the atmosphere of the play-houses, and had all the good things of the high wits by rote long before they made their way into the jeft-books. The intervals between converfation were employed in teaching my daughters piquet, or fometimes in fetting my two little ones to box to make them sharp, as he called it but the hopes of having him for a fon-in-law, in fome measure blinded us to all his imperfections. It must be owned that my wife laid a thoufand

a thousand schemes to entrap him, or, to fpeak it more tenderly, used every art to magnify the merit of her daughter. If the cakes at tea eat short and crifp, they were made by Olivia; if the gooseberry wine was well knit, the goofeberries were of her gathering it was her fingers which gave the pickles. their peculiar green; and in the compofition of a pudding, it was her judgment that mixed the ingredients. Then the poor woman would fometimes tell the 'Squire, that the thought him and Olivia extremely of a fize, and would bid both stand up to fee which was talleft. These inftances of cunning, which the thought impenetrable, yet which every body faw through, were very pleafing to our benefactor, who gave every day fome new proofs of his paffion, which, though they had not arifen to propofals of marriage, yet we thought fell but little fhort of it; and his flowness was attributed fometimes to native bafhfulness, and fometimes to his fear of offending his uncle. An occurrence, however, which happened foon after, put it beyond a doubt that he defigned to become one of our family; my wife even regarded it as an abfolute promise.

My wife and daughters happening to return a vifit to neighbour Flamborough's, found that family had lately got their pictures drawn by a limner, who travelled the country, and took likeneffes for fifteen fhillings a head. As this family and ours had long a fort of rivalry in point of tafte, our spirit took the alarm at this stolen march upon us, and notwithstanding all I could fay, and I faid much, it was refolved that we should have our pictures done too. Having, therefore, engaged the limner, for what could I do? our next deliberation was to fhew the fuperiority of our tafte in the attitudes. As for our neighbour's family, there were feven of them, and they were drawn with feyen oranges, a thing quite out of taste, no variety in life, no compofition in the world.

We

We defired to have fomething in a brighter ftyle, and, after many debates, at length came to an unanimous refolution of being drawn together in one large hiftorical family piece. This would be cheaper, fince one frame would ferve for all, and it would be infinitely more genteel; for all families of any tafte were now drawn in the fame manner. As we did not immediately recollect an hiftorical fubject to hit us, we were contented each with being drawn as independent historical figures. My wife defired to be reprefented as Venus, and the painter was defired not to be too frugal of his diamonds in her ftomacher and hair. Her two little ones were to be as Cupids by her fide, while I, in my gown and band, was to present her with my books on the Whiftonian controverfy. Olivia would be drawn as an Amazon, fitting upon a bank of flowers, dreft in a green Jofeph, richly laced with gold, and a whip in her hand. Sophia was to be a thepherdefs, with as many fheep as the painter could put in for nothing; and Mofes was to be dreft out with an hat and white feather. Our taste so much pleased the 'Squire, that he infifted on being put in as one of the family in the character of Alexander the Great, at Olivia's feet. This was confidered by us all as an indication of his defire to be introduced into the family, nor could we refufe his requeft. The painter was therefore fet to work, and as he wrought with affiduity and expedition, in lefs than four days the whole was completed. The piece was large, and it must be owned he did not spare his colours; for which my wife gave him great encomiums. We were all perfectly fatisfied with his performance; but an unfortunate circumfiance had not occurred till the picture was finifhed, which now ftruck us with difmay. It was fo very large that we had no place in the house to fix it. How we all came to difregard fo material a point is inconceivable; but certain it is, we had been all greatly remifs. The

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picture, therefore, inftead of gratifying our vanity, as we hoped, leaned, in a moft mortifying manner,, against the kitchen wall, where the canvas was ftretched and painted, much too large to be got. through any of the doors, and the jeft of all our, neighbours. One compared it to Robinfon Crufoe's long-boat, too large to be removed, another thought it more resembled a reel in a bottle; fome wondered how it could be got out, but ftill more were amazed how it ever got in.

But though it excited the ridicule of fome, it effectually raised more malicious fuggeftions in many. The 'Squire's portrait being found united with ours, was an honour too great to efcape envy. Scandalous whispers began to circulate at our expence, and our tranquillity was continually difturbed by perfons who came as friends to tell us what was faid of us by. enemies. These reports we always refented with becoming fpirit; but fcandal ever improves by oppofition.

We once again therefore entered into a confultation upon obviating the malice of our enemies, and at last came to a refolution which had too much cunning to. give me entire fatisfaction. It was this: as our principal object was to difcover the honour of Mr.. Thornhill's addreffès, my wife undertook to found. him, by pretending to afk his advice in the choice of an husband for her eldest daughter. If this was not found fufficient to induce him to a declaration, it was then refolved to terrify him with a rival. To this last step, however, I would by no means give my. confent, till Olivia gave me the moft folemn affurances that the would marry the perfon provided to rival him upon this occafion, if he did not prevent it, by. taking her himfelf. Such was the fcheme laid, which, though I did not ftrenuously oppofe, I did not en-. tirely approve.

VOL. I.

G

The

The next time, therefore, that Mr. Thornhill came to see us, my girls took care to be out of the way, in order to give their mamma an opportunity of putting her fcheme in execution; but they only retired to the next room, whence they could overhear the whole converfation: my wife artfully introduced it, by obferving, that one of the Mifs Flamborough's was like to have a very good match of it in Mr. Spanker. To this the 'Squire affenting, the proceeded to remark, that they who had warm fortunes were always fure of getting good husbands: "But heaven help," continued fhe, "the "girls that have none. What fignifies beauty, Mr. "Thornhill? or what fignifies all the virtue, and all "the qualifications in the world, in this age of self"intereft? It is not, what is fhe? but what has the? is all the cry."

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"Madam," returned he, "I highly approve the justice, as well as the novelty of your remarks, and if I were a king, it fhould be otherwife. It fhould "then, indeed, be fine times with the girls without "fortunes: our two young ladies fhould be the first "for whom I would provide."

"Ah, Sir," returned my wife, "you are pleafed "to be facetious: but I wish I were a queen, and

then I know where my eldest daughter fhould look "for an hufband. But now, that you have put it "into my head, ferioufly, Mr. Thornhill, can't you ❝recommend me a proper husband for her? the is "now nineteen years old, well grown and well “educated, and, in my humble opinion, does not "want for parts."

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"Madam," replied he, "if I were to choose, I "would find out a perfon poffefled of every accom"plifhment that can make an angel happy. One "with prudence, forune, tafte, and fincerity; fuch, "madam, would be, in my opinion, the proper "hufband."

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