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I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs, and fpin it off.

Sir And. 'Faith, I'll home to-morrow, fir Toby: your niece will not be seen; or, if she be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the count himself, here hard by, wooes her.

Sir To. She'll none o'the count; she'll not march above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit ; I have heard her swear it. Tut, there's life in't, man.

Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o'the strangest mind i’the world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.

Sir To. Art thou good at these kick-shaws, knight?

Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters ; and yet I will not * compare with an old man.

Sir To, What is thy excellence ? in a galliard, knight?
Sir ind. 'Faith, I can cut a caper.
Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to't.

Sir And. And, I think, I have the back-trick, simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before them ? are they like to take dust, like ' mistress Mall's picture? why dost thou not go to church in a galliard, and come home in a coranto? my very walk should be a jig; I would not so much as make water but in a ? sink-a-pace. What doft thou mean? is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was form'd under the star of a galliard.


* compare with an old man.)-rank myself among the old folks put myself in competition with the men of old time.

v mistress Mall's picture?]-Mary Fritbs, a famous importor of those days, who passed for an Hermaphrodite.

2 fink-a-pace. )--cinque-pace; a dance regulated by the number five. VOL. II.

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Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a · flame-colour'd • stock. Shall we set about some revels ?

Sir To. What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus ?

Sir And. Taurus ? that's sides and heart.

Sir To. No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee caper : ha! higher : ha, ha!--excellent ! (Exeunt.


The Palace. Enter Valentine, and Viola in man's attire. Val. If the duke continue these favours towards you, Cesario, you are like to be much advanc'd; he hath known you but three days, and already you are no stranger.

Vio. You either fear his humour, or my negligence, that you call in question the continuance of his love : Is he inconstant, sir, in his favours ? Val. No, believe me.

Enter Duke, Curio, and Attendants.
Vio. I thank you. Here comes the count.

Duke. Who saw Cesario? ho!
I Vio. On your attendance, my lord; here.

Duke. Stand you a-while aloof.-Cesario,
Thou know'st no less but all, I have unclasp'd
To thee the book even of my secret soul :
Therefore, good youth, address thy 'gait unto her ;
Be not deny'd access, stand at her doors,
And tell them, there thy fixed foot shall grow,
'Till thou have audience.

* stock.]— stocking.

sides and heart. ] -alluding to the figure of a man in the almanack. c gait]— steps.

Vio. Sure, my noble lord,
If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow
As it is spoke, she never will admit me.

Duke. Be clamarous, and leap all civil bounds,
Rather than make unprofited return.

Vio. Say, I do speak with her, my lord ; What then?

Duke. O, then, unfold the passion of my love,
Surprize her with discourse of my dear faith : .
It shall become thee well to act my woes ;
She will attend it better in thy youth,
Than in a nuncio of more grave aspect.

Vio. I think not so, my lord.

Duke. Dear lad, believe it ;
For they shall yet belye thy happy years,
That say, thou art a man: Diana's lip
Is not more smooth, and rubious ; thy small pipe
Is as the maiden's organ, Ihrill and sound,
And all is a semblative a woman's part.
I know, thy constellation is right apt
For this affair :-Some four, or five, attend him;
All, if you will; for I myself am best,
When least in company :-Prosper well in this,
And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord,
To call his fortunes thine.

Vie. l'll do my best.
To woo your lady : [Exit Duke. ] yet, ' a barrful strife!
Who-e'er I woo, myself would be his wife. [Exeunt.


Olivia's House.

Enter Maria and Clown. Mar. Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I

a semblative)-fitted to sustain a woman's part, then performed by boys. · e barrful ftrife!]-a severe talk, full of obstacles.

I i2


will not open my lips, so wide as a bristle may enter, in way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy absence.

Clo. Let her hang me: he that is well hang'd in this world, needs fear no colours.

Mar. Make that good.
Clo. He shall see none to fear.

Mar. A good ' lenten answer: I can tell thee where that saying was born, of, I fear no colours.

Clo. Where, good mistress Mary? Mar. In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.

Clo. Well, God give them wisdom, that have it ; and those that are fools, let them use their talents. · Mar. Yet you will be hang’d, for being so long abfent, or be turn'd away; Is not that as good as a hanging to you?

Clo. Marry, a good hanging prevents & a bad marriage ; and, for turning away, let “summer bear it out.

Mar. You are resolute then ?
Clo. Not so neither; but I am resolv'd on two points.

Mar. That, if one break, the other will hold; or, if both break, your i gaskins fall.

Clo. Apt, in good faith, very apt! Well, go thy way; if fir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of * Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.

Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o'that; here comes my lady: make your excuse wisely, you were best. [Exit.

flenten)-short. 8 a bad marriage ; ]-with the criminal.
* fummer bear it out. ]—which will lessen it's inconveniences.
i gafkins)-wide breeches, faftened with tags, or points,

« Their points being broken,
“ Down fell their hose.”

Henry IV, Pt. I. Act II, Sc. 4. Fal. and Poins. * Eve's fleb).- A wife for him.


Enter Olivia, and Malvolio. Clo. Wit, and't be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools,; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man : For. what says Quinapalus? Better a wito than a foolish wit. God bless thee, lady!

Oli. Take the fool away.
Clo. Do you not hear fellows ? take away the lady.

Oli. Go to, you're a 'dry fool; I'll no more of you : besides, you grow m dishonest.

Clo. Two faulis, Madonna, that drink and good coun. sel will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry; bid the dishonest man mend himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher mend him : Any thing, that's mended, is but patch’d: virtue, that transgresses, is but patch'd with sin; and sin, that amends, is but patch'd with virtue : If that this fimple lyllogilm will serve, lo; if it will not, What remedy? as there is no true "cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a flower :-—the lady bade take away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.

Oli. Sir, I bade them take away you.

Clo. Misprision in the highest degree!-Lady, Cucullus non facit monachum ; that's as much as to say, I wear nog motley in my brain. Good Madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool.

Oli. Can you do it?
Clo. Dexterously, good Madonna.
Oli. Make your proof.

Clo. I must catechize you for it, Madonna ; Good my mouse of virtue, answer me.

dry)-barren. m difloneft.)-indecent, lewd.

cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a flower :]-school, counsellor; alluding to his threatened discharge, and aimning a covert Stroke at his lady. li 3


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