Touch. Why, thou sayest well. I do now remem- Touch. Give me your hand. Art thou learned? Touch. Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he. Will. Which he, sir? Touch. He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon,-which is in the vulgar leave, the society,-which in the boorish is company,-of this female,-which in the common is woman; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways: therefore tremble, and depart. Audd. Do, good William. sir. Enter Corin. sought the remedy; and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love and they will together; clubs cannot part them. Orl. They shall be married to-morrow, and I will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy in having what he wishes for. Ros. Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind? Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. Ros. I will weary you then no longer with idle talking. Know of me then, for now I speak to some purpose, that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit: I speak not this that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch I say I know you are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself good and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things: I have, since I was three years old, conversed with a magician, most profound in his art and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near your heart as your gesture cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her: I know into what straits of fortune she is [Exit. driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes to-morrow human as she is and without any danger. Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings? Cor. Our master and mistress seek you; come, away, away! Touch. Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend. [Exeunt. SCENE II.—The forest. Enter Orlando and Oliver. Orl. Is 't possible that on so little acquaintance you should like her? that but seeing you should love her? and loving woo? and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persever to enjoy her? Oli. Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her, that she loves me; consent with both that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good; for my father's house and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland's will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd. Orl. You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke and ! all's contented followers. Go you and prepare Aliena; for look you, here comes my Rosalind. Enter Rosalind. Ros. God save you, brother. [Exit. Ros. O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf! Orl. It is my arm. Ros. I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion. Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. Ros. Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon when he showed me your handkercher? Orl. Ay, and greater wonders than that. Ros. O, I know where you are: nay, 't is true: there was never anything so sudden but the fight of two rams and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of 'I came, saw, and overcame;' for your brother and my sister no sooner met but they looked, no sooner looked but they loved, no sooner loved but they sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason, no sooner knew the reason but they Ros. By my life, I do; which I tender dearly, Ros. I care not if I have: it is my study Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of faith and service; And so am I for Phebe. Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of fantasy, All made of passion and all made of wishes, Phe. And so am I for Ganymede. Phe. If this be so, why blame you me to love you? Orl. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. Ros. Pray you, no more of this; 't is like the howling of Irish wolves against the moon. [To Sil.] I will help you, if I can: [To Phe.] I would love you, if I could. To-morrow meet me all together. [To Phe.] I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to-morrow: [To Orl.] I will satisfy you, if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow: [To Sil.] I will content you, if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow. [To Orl.] As you love Rosalind, meet: [To Sil.] as you love Phebe, meet; and as I love no woman, I'll meet. So fare you well: I have left you commands. Sil. I'll not fail, if I live. Phe. Nor I. And therefore take the present time, Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untuneable. First Page. You are deceived, sir: we kept time, we lost not our time. Touch. By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear such a foolish song. God be wi' you; and God mend your voices! Come, Audrey. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-The forest. Enter Duke senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, and Celia. Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy Can do all this that he hath promised? Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not; As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phebe. Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her. [her? Ros. And you say, you will have her, when I bring Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. Ros. You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing? Phe. That will I, should I die the hour after. Ros. But if you do refuse to marry me, You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd? Phe. So is the bargain. Ros. You say, that you 'll have Phebe, if she will? Sil. Though to have her and death were both one thing. Ros. I have promised to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter; You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter: Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me, Or else refusing me, to wed this shepherd: Keep your word, Silvius, that you 'll marry her, If she refuse me: and from hence I go, To make these doubts all even. [Exeunt Rosalind and Celia. Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd boy Some lively touches of my daughter's favour. Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him Methought he was a brother to your daughter: But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born, And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments Of many desperate studies by his uncle, Whom he reports to be a great magician, Obscured in the circle of this forest. Enter Touchstone and Audrey. Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome: this is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure: I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. Jaq. And how was that ta'en up? Touch. Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. Jaq. How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. Touch. God 'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear and forswear; according as marriage binds and blood breaks; a poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own; a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will: rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house; as your pearl in your foul oyster. Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious. Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases. Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed:-bear your body more seeming, Audrey:-as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the Retort Courteous. If I sent him word again 'it was not well cut,' he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is called the Quip Modest. If again Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compact is it was not well cut,' he disabled my judgment: this urged: You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, You will bestow her on Orlando here? is called the Reply Churlish. If again it was not well cut,' he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the Reproof Valiant. If again 'it was not well cut,' he would say, I lied: this is called the Countercheck Quarrelsome: and so to the Lie Circumstantial and the Lie Direct. Jaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut? Touch. I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie Direct; and so we measured swords and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort Courteous; the second, the Quip Modest; the third, the Reply Churlish; the fourth, the Reproof Valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with Circumstance; the seventh, the Lie Direct. All these you may avoid but the Lie Direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, as, 'If you said so, then I said so;' and they shook hands and swore brothers. Your If is the only peace-maker; much virtue in If. Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit. Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia. Still Music. Good duke, receive thy daughter: Hymen from heaven brought her, Yea, brought her hither, That thou mightst join her hand with his Whose heart within his bosom is. Ros. [To Duke] To you I give myself, for I am yours. [To Orl.] To you I give myself, for I am yours. Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter. Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind. Phe. If sight and shape be true, Why then, my love adieu! Ros. I'll have no father, if you be not he: "T is I must make conclusion Of these most strange events: If truth holds true contents. SONG. Wedding is great Juno's crown: O blessed bond of board and bed! Duke S. O my dear niece, welcome thou art to Even daughter, welcome, in no less degree. [me! Phe. I will not eat my word, now thou art mine; Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine. Enter Jaques de Boys. Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word or Play, music! And you, brides and bridegrooms all, Jaq. To him will I: out of these convertites There is much matter to be heard and learn'd. [To Duke] You to your former honour I bequeath; Your patience and your virtue well deserves it: [To Orl.] You to a love that your true faith doth [allies: merit: [To Oli.] You to your land and love and great To Sil.] You to a long and well-deserved bed: [To Touch.] And you to wrangling; for thy loving [ures: Voyage Is but for two months victuall'd. So, to your pleas- Jaq. To see no pastime I: what you would have I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave. [Exit. Duke S. Proceed, proceed: we will begin these As we do trust they 'Il end, in true delights. [rites, [4 dance. EPILOGUE. Ros. It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue; but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs no bush, 't is true that a good play needs no epilogue; yet to good wine they do use good bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play! I am not furnished like a beggar, therefore to beg will not become me: my way is to conjure you; and I'll begin with the women. I charge you, O women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as please you: and I charge you, O men, for the love you bear to women-as I perceive by your simpering, none of you hates them-that between you and the women the play may please. If I were a woman I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked me and breaths that I defied not: and, I am sure, as many as have good beards or good faces or sweet breaths will, for my kind offer, when I make curtsy, [Exeunt. bid me farewell. SCENE I.- Before an alehouse on a heath. Enter Hostess and Sly. Sly. I'll pheeze you, in faith. Sly. Ye are a baggage: the Slys are no rogues; look in the chronicles; we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore paucas pallabris; let the world slide: sessa! [burst? Host. You will not pay for the glasses you have Sly. No, not a denier. Go by, Jeronimy: go to thy cold bed, and warm thee. Host. I know my remedy; I must go fetch the third-borough. [Exit. Sly. Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I'll an-¦ swer him by law: I'll not budge an inch, boy: let him come, and kindly. [Falls asleep. Horns winded. Enter a Lord from hunting, with his train. Lord. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds: Brach Merriman, the poor cur is emboss'd; I would not lose the dog for twenty pound. [lord; Lord. Thou art a fool: if Echo were as fleet, Lord. What's here? one dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe? Sec. Hun. He breathes, my lord. Were he not warm'd with ale, This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly. [lies! And brave attendants near him when he wakes, First Hun. My lord, I warrant you we will play [Some bear out Sly. A trumpet sounds. Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds: [Exit Servingman. Belike, some noble gentleman that means, Travelling some journey, to repose him here. Re-enter Servingman. How now! who is it? Enter Players. Now, fellows, you are welcome. Players. We thank your honour. Lord. Do you intend to stay with me to-night? A Player. So please your lordship to accept our duty. Lord. With all my heart. This fellow I remember, Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son: 'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well: [selves, Lord. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery, See this dispatch'd with all the haste thou canst : [Exeunt. SCENE II. - A bedchamber in the Lord's house. Enter aloft Sly, with Attendants; some with apparel, others with basin and ewer and other appurtenances; and Lords. Sly. For God's sake, a pot of small ale. First Serv. Will 't please your lordship drink a cup of sack? Sec. Serv. Will 't please your honour taste of these conserves? Third Serv. What raiment will your honour wear to-day? Sly. I am Christophero Sly; call not me 'honour' nor lordship:' I ne'er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef: ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometime more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather. Lord. Heaven cease this idle humour in your O, that a mighty man of such descent, [honour! Of such possessions and so high esteem, Should be infused with so foul a spirit!" Sly. What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burtonheath, by birth a pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat alewife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught: here 's Third Serv. O, this it is that makes your lady As beaten hence by your strange lunacy. Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays [Music. Or wilt thou sleep? we 'll have thee to a couch On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis. Say thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground: As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe. Adonis painted by a running brook, And Cytherea all in sedges hid, [wood, Which seem to move and wanton with her breath, Sly. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady? I smell sweet savours and I feel soft things: |