kingdom has payed one million in ready cash, within these two years, for corn. This has diminished the current fpecie, and checked our commerce and manufactures.-[A loud bifs and groan.]—Sir, I have a right to fpeak in this fociety, and I will be heard-It is true indeed, the price of every thing is raised, from a ftale egg in the market, to an independent patriot. The extortion of your landlords, and the avarice of your patriots, have done all this. A partiot's declamation on the grievance of his country, is only a sign that he wants a place or penfion; as the creaking of a cart-wheel fhews that it wants greafing.Sir, the ballance of trade is always in our favour, without this we could not fubfift as a nation. Above a million and a half is fpent by our abfentees by men who enjoy the double pleasure of irreparably injuring their country, and expofing their ignorance and abfurdity to all Europe. I fhall illuftrate my laft affertion by a true anecdote Lord, who lately had a confiderable employment in this country, afferted in a polite circle at Spa, and fwore by JASUS, that an Irishman could speak English better than an Englishman. A gentleman who was prefent, immediately replied, fir, you put me in mind

A noble

of

of the fable, where the wife peasant determined that a mimic could fqueak better than the pig itself."

Here a confused noise of "Knocked him

down -Turn him out

Kill him"

interrupted all proceedings. The fociety broke up in confufion.

NUMBER XXIV.

IN

N the laft BATCHELOR were omitted for want of room, the following elegant fpeeches. Lord Babeltongue.] The feedom of debate is, in my humble fentiments, too much confined in all the fenates of Europe. The profeffors of law, thofe gentlemen with the large enveloping wigs-(I wish I could teach them to be a little more deg agé)—they must pardon my expreffion; they, fir, have invented a parcel of barbarous and ruftic forms, to keep the direction of the debate, entierement, in their own hands; and certain Lords of a Bench, which I have in my eye, are always ready to fupport them; fo that a gentleman of any liberal conceit, who attempts to emerge, is, inceffamment, called to order, his fpirits difcompofed, his ideas derangé.

The

The being confined to one fpot in the House, I take to be an empechement to elocution. There is a fympathetic correfpondence, fir, of the faculties of man, when he enters into action: I fay, Mr. Prefident, we all know what Demofthenes faid of it-Being asked what he thought the first qualification of an orator, he replied, action; by which, I conceive, he meant to fay mouvement. Now, fir, if action be the conftituent principle of eloquence, graceful action must conftitute the effence of it, and affurement, fir, muft give it the true bon ton-Dancing, fir, is modulated, graceful action; therefore, it logically follows, par confequent, as a poftulatum, that he who dances beft, must speak best-[a loud laugh.] I do not comprehend why gentlemen are pleased to be fo merry-they are much mistaken when they esteem the obfervation of Monfieur Marceil, on the Earl of Oxford, as a bagatelle. Yet, fir, Moliere, a celebrated French philofopher, corroborates it, by proving that all the faux pas of a man's life, were owing to his not having learned to dance. No minifter, fir, who has not a good ftep, can maintain his ground long. You know how foon the Queen difmiffed Lord Oxford. Not one of our late ministers had un air imposant. You per

ceive

ceive how ill they maintain themselves. I nevér faw any man of fo clownifh a deportment, or un air auffi moins façonné, as our prefent viceroy.

I hope, fir, you will excufe this digreffion, which, yet, I do not think a digreffion, but rather the introduction, or peroration to my oration.-Sir, I have ftudied to ferve my country, I intend vifiting all the fortifications of the kingdom; a true ftate of them I shall present to an illuftrious body, next feffion of parliament. To qualify myfelf properly for this important duty, I am now learning fortification under an Irish Vauban, the greatest engineer of his age.

Monfieur Le F-t; but, fir,

I do this (as I do every thing elfe) in a mode toute nouvelle-Monfieur Le F. directs, fuperintends, my Frifieur executes. Let me explain myself-my hair, fir, is dreffed in the form of baftions, ravelins, fcarps and counterscarps, half moons and full moons, (not to méntion le cartouche defhabille of the morning.).

Thus, fir, fcience and drefs, like the fifter arts, are happily blended, and mutually affift each other. Give me leave to mention a bon mot of mine on this occafion, which, in my humble conception, is fuperior to any of Chefterfield's, or Lord Sancho's:-Monfieur

Le

Le F. gave orders to erect a crown work or the occiput Pardonez moi, fays I, Monfieur Le F. I am a patriot-an opponent to arbitrary government-an enemy to all CROWN WORKS. Hehehe He then directed an horn work to be erected on the finciput. Pardonnez moi, fays I again, Monfieur, I am not married, it is referved for the Counters of Babeltongue, to conftruct a HORN WORK on my head.-He!-hehe!Since I perceive gentlemen's gracious accueil of my endeavours, the approbation of my manner, and exhiliration of my jeux d'efprit, I will gratify them with a recital of the late fcintillation of my fancy, in an illuftrious, but obfcure, in a dignified, but futile affembly.The premier of this frivolous fociety, that frigorific head of cafuiftry, his face enfoncée in a deep wood of hair, the other day commanded an order to be read against me, for speaking difrefpectful of the King's Chief Governor : I was neither disheartened nor embaraffed; with that acumen and readiness fo peculiar to myself,, I afferted that Lord Townshend was his Majefty's fervant and Vice-roy, but he certainlywas not the King's CHIEF GOVERNOR. He!

he!--he !-A torpor immediately benumbed the faculties of the fociety, whilft, with a

look