little perplexed him at prefent. I had faid, that fome of our Crew left their Country on Account of being ruined by Law: That, I had already explained the Meaning of the Word; but he was at a Lofs how it should come to pass, that the Law which was intended for every Man's Prefervation, fhould be any Man's Ruin. Therefore, he defired to be farther fatisfied what I meant by Law, and the Dif penfers thereof, according to the present Practice in my own Country: Because he thought, Nature and Reason were fufficient Guides for a reasonable Animal, as we pretended to be, in fhewing us what we ought to do, and what to avoid.

I ASSURED his Honour, that Law was a Science wherein I had not much converfed, further than by employing Advocates, in vain, upon fome Injuftices that had been done ine. However, I would give him all the Satisfaction I was able.

I SAID, there was a Society of Men among us, bred up from their Youth in the Art of proving, by Words multiplied for the Purpose, that White is Black, and Black is White, according as they are paid. To this Society all the rest of the People are Slaves.

FOR Example, if my Neighbour hath a Mind to my Cow, he hireth a Lawyer to prove that he ought to have my Cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my Right; it being against all Rules of Law that any Man fhould be allowed to fpeak for himself. Now, in this Cafe, I who am the true Owner, lie under two great Disadvantages. First, my Lawyer being practifed almost from his Cradle in defending Falfhood; is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for Juftice, which as an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great Aukwardness, if not with Ill-will.

The

The fecond Difadvantage is, that my Lawyer must proceed with great Caution: Or else, he will be reprimanded by the Judges, and abhorred by his Brethren, as one who would leffen the Practice of the Law. And therefore, I have but two Methods to preferve my Cow. The first is, to gain over my Adverfary's Lawyer with a double Fee; who will then betray his Client, by infinuating that he hath Juftice on his Side. The fecond Way is, for my Lawyer to make my Cause appear as unjust as he can, by allowing the Cow to belong to my Adverfary; and this, if it be fkilfully done, will certainly befpeak the Favour of the Bench.

Now, your Honour is to know, that these Judges are Perfons appointed to decide all Controverfies of Property, as well as for the Tryal of Criminals; and picked out from the most dextrous Lawyers, who are grown old or lazy: And, having been byaffed all their Lives against Truth and Equity, lie under fuch a fatal Neceffity of favouring Fraud, Perjury and Oppreffion; that I have known fome of them to have refufed a large Bribe from the Side where Juftice lay, rather than injure the Faculty, by doing any Thing unbecoming their Nature or their Office.

IT is a Maxim among thefe Lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: And, therefore they take fpecial Care to record all the Decifions formerly made against common Juftice, and the general Reason of Mankind. Thefe, under the Name of Precedents, they produce as Authorities to juftify the most iniquitous Opinions; and the Judges never fail of directing accordingly.

IN pleading, they ftudiously avoid entering into the Merits of the Caufe; but are loud, violent and

tedious

tedious in dwelling upon all Circumstances which are not to the Purpose. For Inftance, in the Cafe already mentioned: They never defire to know what Claim or Title my Adverfary hath to my Cow; but whether the faid Cow were red or black; her Horns long or fhort; whether the Field I graze her in be round or fquare; whether the were milked at home or abroad; what Diseases fhe is fubject to, and the like. After which, they confult Precedents, adjourn the Caufe, from Time to Time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty Years come to an Iffue.

It is likewise to be observed, that this Society hath a peculiar Cant and Jargon of their own, that no other Mortal can understand, and wherein all their Laws are written, which they take fpecial Care to multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very Effence of Truth and Falfhood, of Right and Wrong; fo that it will take thirty Years to decide whether the Field, left me by my Ancestors for fix Generations, belong to me, or to a Stranger three hundred Miles off.

IN the Tryal of Perfons accufed for Crimes against the State, the Method is much more fhort and commendable: The Judge first sends to found the Difpofition of thofe in Power; after which he can easily hang or fave the Criminal, ftrictly preferving all the Forms of Law.

HERE my Mafter interpofing, faid it was a Pity, that Creatures endowed with fuch prodigious Abilities of Mind as thefe Lawyers, by the Defcription I gave of them, mult certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be Inftructors of others in Wisdom and Knowledge. In Answer to which, I affured his Honour, that in all Points out of their own Trade, they were ufually the most igVOL. III.

X

norant

norant and ftupid Generation among us, the most defpicable in common Converfation, avowed Enemies to all Knowledge and Learning; and equally difpofed to pervert the general Reafon of Mankind, in every other Subject of Difcourfe, as in that of their own Profeffion.

CHAP.

CHAP. VI.

A Continuation of the State of ENGLAND, under Queen ANNE. The Character of a first Minifter in the Courts of EUROPE.

M

Y Mafter was yet wholly at a Lofs to understand what Motives could incite this Race of Lawyers to perplex, difquiet, and weary themfelves by engaging in a Confederacy of Injustice, merely for the Sake of injuring their Fellow-Animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant in faying they did it for Hire. Whereupon I was at much Pains to defcribe to him the Ufe of Money, the Materials it was made of, and the Value of the Metals: That, when a Yahoo had got a great Store of this precious Subftance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a Mind to; the finest Cloathing, the noblett Houfes, great Tracts of Land, the moft coftly Meats and Drinks; and have his Choice of the most beautiful Females. Therefore, fince Money alone was able to perform all thefe Feats, our Yaboos thought, they could never have enough of it to fpend or to fave, as X. 2

they