The Canadian Book of Snobs

Front Cover
Dundurn, 1998 - Humor - 292 pages

Are you a snob? Then why not learn to do it right? Study this revolutionary work and become a Canadian Snob of Distinction!

Victoria Branden has traced the history of Snobbery from its pre-human roots to our own era, in our own country, and has enunciated the definitive Theory of Snobbery. She examines its evolution from its crude beginnings to its present confused state, with detailed study of the most important types of snobbery, distinguishing Goodsnobs from Badsnobs, experts from fumbling amateurs. Snobbery has influenced history at least as much as the invention of the wheel or the printing press, which were probably actually inspired by snob instincts.

Always staunchly patriotic, Ms. Branden has given particular attention to Canadian Snobs, who have been until this time gravely neglected in both life and literature, and has provided Canadian Snobmodels by which we can be guided to higher and better levels of Snobbery. She finds a certain lack of professionalism among Canadian Snobs: Snobbery is not acknowledged as an Olympic contender, and has received no recognition in this year's "black budget." So there is much to be done, urgently! Branden has thoughtfully provided Snobexercises (video later) by which you can develop Snobmuscle. Careful study, with diligent practice and iron self-discipline, will help you to achieve great heights of Snob-expertise, using techniques and materials particularly suited to the Canadian climate and social mores.

Other how-to books claim to "make it easy" to succeed. We do not. Achieving Snob-distinction is hard, gruelling, and incessant work - but the rewards are incalculable. Any jerk can be a snob, and usually is. But to be a truly Great Snob, an upper-case Snob, a Snob who will go down in history like Beau Brummell or Oscar Wilde ah, that is attainable only by the few.

 

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Contents

Vocabulary
13
The Decline of Massive Power
22
The Classes and the Masses
36
Servants
48
Sexsnobbery
64
Worksnobbery 1
74
BlueCollar
87
Slavery or Squalor?
96
Educationsnobbery
162
Foodsnobbery
178
Herosnob
189
Home Sweet Home House and Garden Snobbery
199
Lawnsnobbery or The Revenge of the Lawn
206
The Perversity Principle in Literary Criticism Snobbery
222
Poemsnob
240
Religious Snobbery
252

Summary of Part 1
102
Practice in Snobrecognition and Snobanalysis
108
PET
118
Agesnob
134
Ancestor or Ancient Lineage Snobbery
140
Clothessnobbery
151
SicksnobSportsnob
264
Wordsnobbery
276
Conclusion
285
Bibliography 292
Copyright

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Page 29 - O, when degree is shak'd, Which is the ladder to all high designs, The enterprise is sick ! How could communities, Degrees in schools, and brotherhoods in cities, Peaceful commerce from dividable shores, The primogenity and due of birth, Prerogative of age, crowns, sceptres, laurels, But by degree, stand in authentic place? Take but degree away, untune that string, And hark! what discord follows...
Page 25 - Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Page 29 - Which is the ladder to all high designs, The enterprise is sick. How could communities, Degrees in schools, and brotherhoods in cities, Peaceful commerce from dividable shores, The primogenitive and due of birth, Prerogative of age, crowns, sceptres, laurels, But by degree, stand in authentic place? Take but degree away, untune that string, And, hark, what discord follows ! each thing meets In mere oppugnancy...
Page 29 - THE institution of a leisure class has an effect not only upon social structure but also upon the individual character of the members of society. So soon as a given proclivity or a given point of view has won acceptance as an authoritative standard or norm of life it will react upon the character of the members of the society which has accepted it as a norm. It will to some extent shape their habits of thought and will exercise a selective surveillance over the development of men's aptitudes and...

About the author (1998)

Victoria Branden lives in fear of being sued by Hollinger Inc.; the Estate of Elizabeth Smart (and all academics who have earned a living promoting this author); as well as disgruntled nouveau riche every-where, whose secrets have been exposed.

Victoria Branden herewith presents her sixth book. Earlier lunacies: Mrs. Job and Flitterin' Judas, novels; In Defence of Plain English, non-fiction; and two books (Understanding Ghosts and Give Up the Ghost) enunciating a non-occultist theory of the paranormal. Her articles and short stories have appeared in The Atlantic Monthly, Chatelaine, Saturday Night, Canadian Forum, New Horizons, Homemaker's, and many others. For years she wrote short stories and plays for the CBC which have won a variety of awards and honours. Ms. Branden attended the University of Alberta and the University of Toronto and studied a wide range of organizations investigating the paranormal. She has worked in publishing, journalism, academia, lifeguarding, and strawberry-picking. She lives in Waterdown, Ontario, with her dog and several drop-in cats.

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