the business of faith, yet in a little time, I better considering the matter, was willing to put myself upon the trial whether I had faith or no. But alas! so ignorant was I, poor wretch, that I knew no more how to do it than I knew how to begin and accomplish that rare and curious piece of art which I never yet saw or considered.

Wherefore while I was thus considering (for you must know that as yet I had not in this matter broken my mind to any one, only did hear and consider), the tempter came in with this delusion, "That there was no way for me to know I had faith but by trying to work some miracles"; urging those scriptures that seemed to enforce and strengthen his temptation. Nay, one day, as I was between Elstow and Bedford, the temptation was hot upon me to try if I had faith by doing some miracle; which miracle at this time was this -I must say to the puddles that were in the horse-pads, "Be dry," and to the dry places, "Be ye puddles." And truly one time I was going to say so indeed; but just as I was about to speak, this thought came into my mind; "But go under yonder hedge, and pray first that God would make you able." But when I had concluded to pray, this came hot upon me that if I prayed, and came again and tried to do it, and yet did nothing not

withstanding, then to be sure I had no faith, but was a castaway and lost. Nay, thought I, if it be so, I will not try yet, but will stay a little longer.

So I continued at a great loss; for I thought if they only had faith who could do so wonderful things, then I concluded that I neither had it, nor yet was ever like to have it. Thus I was tossed betwixt the devil and my own ignorance, and so perplexed that I could not tell what to do.

About this time, the state and happiness of these poor people at Bedford was thus, in a kind of a vision, presented to me. I saw, as if they were on the sunny side of some high mountain, there refreshing themselves with the pleasant beams of the sun, while I was shivering and shrinking in the cold, afflicted with frost, snow, and dark clouds. Methought also betwixt me and them, I saw a wall that did compass about this mountain. Now through this wall my soul did greatly desire to pass; concluding that if I could, I would there also comfort myself with the heat of their sun. About this wall I bethought myself to go again and again, still praying as I went, to see if I could find some way or passage by which I might enter therein; but none could I find for some time; at the last I saw as it were, a narrow gap, like a little

doorway in the wall, through which I attempted to pass. Now the passage being very strait and narrow, I made many efforts to get in, but all in vain; at last with great striving, methought I at first did get in my head, and after that, by a sidelong striving, my shoulders, and my whole body; then I was exceeding glad, and went and sat down in the midst of them, and so was comforted with the light and heat of their sun.

Now this mountain and wall was thus made out to me. The mountain signified the Church of the living God; the sun that shone thereon, the shining of his merciful face on them that were therein; the wall I thought was the world, that did make separation between the Christians and the world; and the gap which was in the wall, I thought was Jesus Christ, who is the way to God the Father (John 14:6). But as the passage was wonderful narrow, even so narrow that I could not but with great difficulty enter in thereat, it showed me that none could enter into life but those that were in downright earnest, and left the wicked world behind them; for here was only room for body and soul, but not for body and soul and sin (Matt. 7:14).

This resemblance abode upon my spirit many days; all which time I saw myself in a forlorn and sad condition, but yet was pro

voked to vehement hunger and desire to be one of that number that did sit in the sunshine. Now also would I pray wherever I was, whether at home or abroad, in house or field; and would also often, with lifting up of heart, sing that of the fifty-first psalm, "O Lord consider my distress"; for as yet I knew not where I was.

Neither as yet could I attain to any comfortable persuasion that I had faith in Christ; but instead, I began to find my soul assaulted with fresh doubts about my future happiness; especially with such as these, "Whether I was elected? But how if the day of grace should now be past and gone?" By these two temptations I was very much afflicted and disquieted; sometimes by the one, and sometimes by the other of them.

And first, to speak of that about my questioning my election, I found that, tho I was in a flame to find the way to heaven and glory, and nothing could beat me off from this, yet this question did so discourage me that I was, especially sometimes, as if the very strength of my body had been taken away by the force and power thereof. This scripture did also seem to me to trample upon all my desires: "It is neither of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth; but of God that showeth mercy" (Rom. 9). With this scripture I could not

tell what to do. For I evidently saw, that unless God had voluntarily chosen me to be a vessel of mercy, tho I should desire and long and labor until my heart did break, no good could come of it. Therefore this would stick with me, "How can you tell that you are elected? and what if you should not be? How then?" "O Lord," thought I, "what if I should not, indeed!" "It may be you are not," said the tempter; "it may be so, indeed," thought I. "Why then," said Satan, "you had as good leave off, and strive no further; for if indeed you should not be elected and chosen of God, there is no hope of your being saved. For it is neither of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth; but of God, that showeth mercy. By these things I was driven to my wit's end, not knowing what to say, or how to answer these temptations. Indeed, I little thought that Satan had thus assaulted me, but that rather it was my own prudence thus to start the question. For that the elect only obtained eternal life, that I without scruple did heartily close withal; but that myself was one of them, there lay the question.

Thus therefore, for several days, I was greatly perplexed, and as often ready to sink with faintness in my mind. But one day, after I had been many weeks opprest and cast