SCENE.-Sometimes in Padua; and sometimes in Petruchio's

House in the Country.

INDUCTION.1

SCENE I.-BEFORE AN ALEHOUSE ON A HEATH.

Enter Hostess and Sly.

Sly. I'll pheese you in faith.

Host. A pair of stocks, you rogue!

Sly. Y'are a baggage; the Slies are no rogues: Look in the

chronicles, we came in with Richard Conqueror.

paucas pallabris; let the world slide: Sessa!

Therefore

Host. You will not pay for the glasses you have burst? Sly. No, not a denier : Go by, says Jeronimy;-Go to thy cold bed, and warm thee.

Host. I know my remedy; I must go fetch the thirdborough."

[Exit.

Sly. Third or fourth or fifth borough, I'll answer him by law: I'll not budge an inch, boy; let him come, and kindly.

[Lies down on the ground, and falls asleep. Wind Horns. Enter a Lord from hunting, with Huntsmen and

Servants.

Lord. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds: Brach' Merriman,-the poor cur is embossed,

And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth'd brach.
Saw'st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good
At the hedge corner, in the coldest fault?
I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.

1 Hun. Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord; He cried upon it at the merest loss,

And twice to-day pick'd out the dullest scent:
Trust me, I take him for the better dog.

Lord. Thou art a fool; if Echo were as fleet,

I would esteem him worth a dozen such.
But sup them well, and look unto them all;
To-morrow I intend to hunt again.

1 Hun. I will, my lord.

Lord. What's here? one dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe? 2 Hun. He breathes, my lord: Were he not warm'd with ale, This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly.

Lord. O monstrous beast! how like a swine he lies!

Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image!
Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.-
What think you, if he were convey'd to bed,

Wrapp'd in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers,
A most delicious banquet by his bed,

And brave attendants near him when he wakes,
Would not the beggar then forget himself?

1 Hun. Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose.

2 Hun. It would seem strange unto him when he wak'd. Lord. Even as a flattering dream, or worthless fancy. Then take him up, and manage well the jest:-

Carry him gently to my fairest chamber,

And hang it round with all my wanton pictures:
Balm his foul head with warm distilled waters,
And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet:
Procure me musick ready when he wakes,
To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;
And if he chance to speak, be ready straight,
And, with a low submissive reverence,
Say,--What is it your honour will command?
Let one attend him with a silver bason,

Full of rose-water, and bestrew'd with flowers;
Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper,

And say,-Will't please your lordship cool your hands?
Some one be ready with a costly suit,
And ask him what apparel he will wear;
Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
And that his lady mourns at his disease:
Persuade him that he hath been lunatick;
And, when he says he is,say that he dreams,
For he is nothing but a mighty lord.

This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs;
It will be pastime passing excellent,

If it be husbanded with modesty.1

1 Hu. My lord, I warrant you, we'll play our part. As he shall think, by our true diligence,

1 Moderation.

2 L

A trumpet sounds. [Exit Servant.

He is no less than what we say he is.
Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with him;
And each one to his office when he wakes.-
[Some bear out Sly.
Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds :-
Belike, some noble gentleman; that means,
Travelling some journey, to repose him here.-
Re-enter a Servant.

How now? who is it?

Serv.

An it please your honour, Players that offer service to your lordship. Lord. Bid them come near :

Enter Players.

Now, fellows, you are welcome.

1 Play. We thank your honour.

Lord. Do you intend to stay with me to-night? 2 Play. So please your lordship to accept our duty. Lord. With all my heart.—This fellow I remember, Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son ;-'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well: I have forgot your name; but sure that part

Was aptly fitted, and naturally perform'd.

1 Play. I think, 'twas Soto that your honour means.
Lord. "Tis very true;-thou didst it excellent.
Well, you are come to me in happy time;
The rather, for I have some sport in hand,
Wherein your cunning can assist me much.
There is a lord will hear you play to-night:
But I am doubtful of your modesties1;
Lest, over-eyeing of his odd behaviour,
(For yet his honour never heard a play),
You break into some merry passion,
And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,
If you should smile, he grows impatient.

1 Play. Fear not, my lord; we can contain ourselves, Were he the veriest antick in the world.

Lord. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery, And give them friendly welcome every one:

Let them want nothing that my house affords.

[Exeunt Servant and Players. [To a Servant.] Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew my page, And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady:

That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber,

And call him-madam, do him obeisance,

Tell him from me (as he will win my love),
He bear himself with honourable action,
Such as he hath observ'd in noble ladies
Unto their lords, by them accomplished:
Such duty to the drunkard let him do,
With soft low tongue, and lowly courtesy ;
And say - What is 't your honour will command,

1 Behaviour.

Wherein your lady, and your humble wife,
May show her duty, and make known her love?
And then--with kind embracements, tempting kisses,
And with declining head into his bosom,-

Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy'd

To see her noble lord restor❜d to health,
Who, for twice seven years, hath esteemed hin
No better than a poor and loathsome beggar:
And if the boy have not a woman's gift,
To rain a shower of commanded tears,
An onion will do well for such a shift;
Which in a napkin being close convey'd,
Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.

See this despatch'd with all the haste thou canst;
Anon I'll give thee more instructions.-

I know, the boy will well usurp the grace,

Voice, gait, and action of a gentlewoman:

long to hear him call the drunkard, husband;

[Exit Servant.

And how my men will stay themselves from laughter,
When they do homage to this simple peasant,
I'll in to counsel them: haply my presence
May well abate the over-merry spleen,1

Which otherwise would go into extremes.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II.-A BEDCHAMBER IN THE LORD'S HOUSE.

Sly is discovered in a rich night-gown, with Attendants; some with apparel, others with bason, ewer, and other appurte nances. Enter Lord, dressed like a Servant.

Sly. For heaven's sake, a pot of small ale.

1 Serv. Will 't please your lordship, drink a cup of sack? 2 Serv. Will 't please your honour, taste of these conserves? 3 Serv. What raiment will your honour wear to-day?

Sly. I am Christopher Sly; call not me-honour, nor lordship: I never drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef: Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometimes, more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the overleather.

Lord. Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour!
O, that a mighty man of such descent,

Of such possessions, and so high esteem,
Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

Sly. What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What, I am not bestraught; Here's

1 Serv. O, this it is that makes your lady mourn.
2 Serv. O, this it is that makes your servants droop.

Lord. Hence comes it that your kindred shun your house,

As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.

O, noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth;

Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment,
And banish hence these abject lowly dreams:
Look how thy servants do attend on thee,
Each in his office ready at thy beck.

Wilt thou have musick? hark! Apollo plays,
And twenty caged nightingales do sing:
Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch,
Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed
On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis.

Say, thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground:
Or wilt thou ride? thy horses shall be trapp'd,
Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.
Dost thou love hawking? thou hast hawks will soar
Above the morning lark: Or wilt thou hunt?
Thy hounds shall make the welkin' answer them,
And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.

[Musick.

1 Serv. Say, thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.

2 Serv. Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch thee straight, Adonis, painted by a running brook :

And Cytherea all in sedges hid;

Which seem to move and wanton with her breath,

Even as the waving sedges play with wind.

3 Serv. Or Daphne, roaming through a thorny wood;

Scratching her feet that one shall swear she bleeds:

And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,

So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

Lord. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord,

Thou hast a lady far more beautiful,

Than any woman in the waning age.

1 Serv. And till the tears that she hath shed for them, Like envious floods, o'er-ran her lovely face,

She was the fairest creature in the world;

And yet she is inferior to none.

Sly. Am I a lord, and have I such a lady?
Or do I dream! or have I dream'd till now?
I do not sleep; I see, I hear, I speak;

I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things:--
Upon my life, I am a lord, indeed;

And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.-
Well, bring our lady hither to our sight:
And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale.

2 Serv. Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands? Servants present an ewer, bason, and napkin.

O, how we joy to see your wit restor❜d!

O, that once more you knew but what you are!
These fifteen years you have been in a dream;
Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept.
Sly. These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap.
But did I never speak of all that time?

1 Vault of heaven.