agines that he is fulfilling the duties of a procure them an establishment; if a wife careful parent in setting his daughter's lay-in she provided her with stores of babyshoulders awry over a tapestry frame, or in linen from the big-house; but if the woman "cramming" his son into a consumption, had twins, the family were positively pelted that he may enter college with éclat? Or with gratifications. To the poor workman what think you of that other gentleman she gave tools, to the small tradesman mawho, duly impressed with the danger of terials. Coats and blankets were distributsparing the rod and spoiling the child, has ed at Christmas with a profuse and indisbrought up a family with such severity, that criminate hand; and there was not a tramone son ran away to sea, and was eaten by per who passed within ten miles of the mathe cannibals, that a daughter married an nor-house, that did not go out of his way adventurer, to escape from the parental roof, for the sixpences, shillings, and halferowns, while his youngest boy remains little better which were freely doled out to every whinthan an idiot, without self-dependence or ing and canting impostor. Now what was resolution enough to carry any honest pur- the result of this "wondrous waste of unpose into execution? That the wretched exampled goodness?" You need but go to parent was influenced by the most praise- the village, and it will stare you in the face. worthy motives is proved by the depth of It is overloaded with mendicants, in the his affliction at these family miscarriages, uttermost destitution; the cottagers, herewhich, however, he still attributes to his tofore accustomed to depend on themselves, own soft-heartedness in spoiling a self-will- and to calculate their resources, have beed and incorrigible offspring. We are our- come careless and indolent. On every selves acquainted with a worthy and excel- emergency they fall back on "the good lalent family, who, if good intentions paved dy," and lay by no savings against the rainy the road to heaven, would be entitled to the day. Notwithstanding all their lavish charibest place at the disposition of St. Peter, ty, the workhouse is crowded; for the husbut whose deeds have scattered ruin and band, at his wife's intercession, built cottadiscontent on all sides of their neighbor- ges, without reference to the condition of hood. The husband on coming to a splen- the applicants, and the place has twice the did estate, and finding himself without any population it has the means to support. Of thing to do, married a wife to assist him in the workmen she had "assisted to bring the discharge of his office. If they had on- forward" and to "set up in business," half ly possessed the grace not to care for any have displaced the independent traders, who body, and to have "followed their own had no one to rely on but themselves, and vagary-oh," without troubling their heads were undersold by the cheap interlopers; with their neighbors, they might have run the other half, leaning on the bounty of their through their large property with credit protectors, became idle, dissipated, and and comfort to themselves, and have had a drunken, and finally ran away, leaving the tombstone over their heads, on leaving this parish in for the maintenance of their mortal coil, that would have made the repu-wretched families. By this lady's ill-adtation of a Chantrey. But the malignant vised donations of wine and nourishing fairy who was not asked to their christening, cursed these good people with a desire to benefit all mankind; and so, before the honeymoon was quite over, to work they went with their confounded benevolence. On taking possession, they found themselves surrounded by a thriving tenantry, in the midst of a prosperous and contented village, with a well-appointed set of respectable and orderly servants. My lady began her labors by a course of what she called charity. She went through the village twice a week, scolding the children for not minding their books, and the mothers for not doing every thing in the world; and then, being somewhat ashamed of her own unnecessary severity, she scattered indulgences on all sides, to stand well with her dependents. If she heard of a couple who wanted to be married, she interfered to broths to the sick, and to lying-in women, she has poisoned no small numbers, whose families have been thrown on the parish; and she has expelled a very respectable village apothecary from the neighborhood, for his ill-nature in standing between her and his patients, by setting up a scamp in a dispensary of her own founding, who labors in vain in his hopeless capacity of a preventive check. But has she gained thanks for her pains? No. The peasantry dread her interference, and fly from her presence when not in immediate want of her aid; at the same time, being forced upon improvements which they do not themselves require, they make no efforts after comfort but as they are compelled. Where they formerly paid a penny a week cheerfully to the village schoolmistress, they are now difficultly driven into sending their children to the gratuitous school; and lics persecuted and Jews incapacitated by they abuse their benefactress for forcing members voting conscientiously in support them from their field-work. So effectually, of the reformed religion! How many men. indeed, has she labored in her vocation, at this day would root up trade and beggar that the paupers she has created have quite the nation, for the express purpose of preoutgrown her means of relief; and she is serving us from depending for food on our hourly abused by the poor, for the scanty natural enemies!! shabbiness of her donations; and by the farmers, for raising the parish-rates. Our readers will, we flatter ourselves, by this time agree with us in thinking that Bayle's guaranteeing his intentions and not his ignorance, was no such promising sure The husband, on his part, set out as an improver of husbandry, and assisted his tenantry so effectually to make improve-ty; and that the world requires for its moral ments which were generally failures, that government much more than the purest mothey will no longer do any thing without tives. Fools, it must be clear to evidence, an advance of cash; while he tied them are ten times more mischievous than knaves, down so closely in their leases to certain and a hundred times more numerous. The rotations of cropping, that they ceased to worst of it is, too, that your well-intentionthink on the subject, and lived and worked ed blockheads are about the most obstinate by the rule of thumb. By ill-judged relaxa- animals in creation, and that they will contions of his just demands, he created a pre-summate more mischief than the great fire valent absence of punctuality in the pay-of London, before they can be persuaded ment of his rents; and then, struck with the that they are not as wise as King Solomon, mischief of lenity, he became senselessly severe, that he might improve the bad habits he had created. So, having filled the village with poachers, by winking at their offences, he was roused by a savage murder which one of the crew committed, and covered his premises with man-traps and spring-guns, in the service of morality. As a magistrate he is exemplary for punctuality of attendance; but his humanity lets loose the evil-doer, while his respect for authority supports the county officials placed under his control in oppressions and plunders infinite. On a very recent occasion, he halfruined the people, by causing a strike of the manufacturers, through a well-meant lecture from the bench on wages and profits. In their own family this couple are not more happy. By good-naturedly overlooking faults innumerable, they have not a sober servant left on their establishment; and they were compelled to transport their butler for participating in the robbery of their plate-chest, because they had not the heart to punish a series of petty dishonesties. and as dexterous as the king of all the conjurors. We beg, therefore, in conclusion, to assure our readers, that in writing this paper we have not the slightest good intention (or hope either) of making them wiser or better-nay, not so much as a desire for their amusement, further than in as far as that end is mixed up with a thoroughly selfish wish to turn this and other such lucubrations to the best pecuniary account. We therefore hope that they will not be materially the worse for favoring us with a perusal; and so we heartily bid them farewell. No No No If from private life we turned our attention to what is done in Parliament, it would No not be difficult to show that the worst miscarriages in legislation are owing to the good intentions of gentlemen who never No thought on politics, economy, or any one public question, before they found their way into the house. How many hundred men, for instance, were hung for forgery, without the slightest effect on the statistics of crime, by the repeated votes of men who had no other intention than to secure the Bank, and preserve the credit of the paper currency! How many years were Catho NO! No sun-no moon No morn-no noon dawn-no dusk-no proper time of day No sky-no earthly view No distance looking blue μ. road-no street-no "tother side the way”— No end to any Row No indications when the Crescents go- No courtesies for showing 'em- inkling of the way-no notion "No go"-by land or ocean- No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease, vember. agines that he is fulfilling the duties of a procure them an establishment; if a wife careful parent in setting his daughter's lay-in she provided her with stores of babyshoulders awry over a tapestry frame, or in linen from the big-house; but if the woman "cramming" his son into a consumption, had twins, the family were positively pelted that he may enter college with éclat? Or with gratifications. To the poor workman what think you of that other gentleman she gave tools, to the small tradesman mawho, duly impressed with the danger of terials. Coats and blankets were distributsparing the rod and spoiling the child, has ed at Christmas with a profuse and indisbrought up a family with such severity, that criminate hand; and there was not a tramone son ran away to sea, and was eaten by per who passed within ten miles of the mathe cannibals, that a daughter married an nor-house, that did not go out of his way adventurer, to escape from the parental roof, for the sixpences, shillings, and halferowns, while his youngest boy remains little better which were freely doled out to every whinthan an idiot, without self-dependence or ing and canting impostor. Now what was resolution enough to carry any honest pur- the result of this "wondrous waste of unpose into execution? That the wretched exampled goodness?" You need but go to parent was influenced by the most praise the village, and it will stare you in the face. worthy motives is proved by the depth of It is overloaded with mendicants, in the his affliction at these family miscarriages, uttermost destitution; the cottagers, herewhich, however, he still attributes to his tofore accustomed to depend on themselves, own soft-heartedness in spoiling a self-will- and to calculate their resources, have beed and incorrigible offspring. We are our come careless and indolent. On every selves acquainted with a worthy and excel- emergency they fall back on "the good lalent family, who, if good intentions paved dy," and lay by no savings against the rainy the road to heaven, would be entitled to the day. Notwithstanding all their lavish charibest place at the disposition of St. Peter, ty, the workhouse is crowded; for the husbut whose deeds have scattered ruin and band, at his wife's intercession, built cottadiscontent on all sides of their neighbor- ges, without reference to the condition of hood. The husband on coming to a splen- the applicants, and the place has twice the did estate, and finding himself without any population it has the means to support. Of thing to do, married a wife to assist him in the workmen she had "assisted to bring the discharge of his office. If they had on- forward" and to "set up in business," half ly possessed the grace not to care for any have displaced the independent traders, who body, and to have "followed their own had no one to rely on but themselves, and vagary-oh," without troubling their heads were undersold by the cheap interlopers; with their neighbors, they might have run the other half, leaning on the bounty of their through their large property with credit protectors, became idle, dissipated, and and comfort to themselves, and have had a drunken, and finally ran away, leaving the tombstone over their heads, on leaving this parish in for the maintenance of their mortal coil, that would have made the repu-wretched families. By this lady's ill-adtation of a Chantrey. But the malignant vised donations of wine and nourishing fairy who was not asked to their christening, cursed these good people with a desire to benefit all mankind; and so, before the honeymoon was quite over, to work they went with their confounded benevolence. On taking possession, they found themselves surrounded by a thriving tenantry, in the midst of a prosperous and contented village, with a well-appointed set of respectable and orderly servants. My lady began her labors by a course of what she called charity. She went through the village twice a week, scolding the children for not minding their books, and the mothers for not doing every thing in the world; and then, being somewhat ashamed of her own unnecessary severity, she scattered indulgences on all sides, to stand well with her dependents. If she heard of a couple who wanted to be married, she interfered to broths to the sick, and to lying-in women, she has poisoned no small numbers, whose families have been thrown on the parish ; and she has expelled a very respectable village apothecary from the neighborhood, for his ill-nature in standing between her and his patients, by setting up a scamp in a dispensary of her own founding, who labors in vain in his hopeless capacity of a preventive check. But has she gained thanks for her pains? No. The peasantry dread her interference, and fly from her presence when not in immediate want of her aid; at the same time, being forced upon improvements which they do not themselves require, they make no efforts after comfort but as they are compelled. Where they formerly paid a penny a week cheerfully to the village schoolmistress, they are now difficultly driven into sending their children to the gratuitous school; and they abuse their benefactress for forcing them from their field-work. So effectually, indeed, has she labored in her vocation, that the paupers she has created have quite outgrown her means of relief; and she is hourly abused by the poor, for the scanty shabbiness of her donations; and by the farmers, for raising the parish-rates. lics persecuted and Jews incapacitated by members voting conscientiously in support of the reformed religion! How many men at this day would root up trade and beggar the nation, for the express purpose of preserving us from depending for food on our natural enemies!! Our readers will, we flatter ourselves, by this time agree with us in thinking that The husband, on his part, set out as an Bayle's guaranteeing his intentions and not improver of husbandry, and assisted his his ignorance, was no such promising suretenantry so effectually to make improve-ty; and that the world requires for its moral ments which were generally failures, that government much more than the purest mothey will no longer do any thing without tives. Fools, it must be clear to evidence, an advance of cash; while he tied them are ten times more mischievous than knaves, down so closely in their leases to certain and a hundred times more numerous. The rotations of cropping, that they ceased to worst of it is, too, that your well-intentionthink on the subject, and lived and worked ed blockheads are about the most obstinate by the rule of thumb. By ill-judged relaxa- animals in creation, and that they will contions of his just demands, he created a pre-summate more mischief than the great fire valent absence of punctuality in the pay-of London, before they can be persuaded ment of his rents; and then, struck with the that they are not as wise as King Solomon, mischief of lenity, he became senselessly and as dexterous as the king of all the consevere, that he might improve the bad ha- jurors. We beg, therefore, in conclusion, bits he had created. So, having filled the to assure our readers, that in writing this village with poachers, by winking at their paper we have not the slightest good intenoffences, he was roused by a savage murder tion (or hope either) of making them wiser which one of the crew committed, and cov- or better-nay, not so much as a desire for ered his premises with man-traps and their amusement, further than in as far as spring-guns, in the service of morality. As that end is mixed up with a thoroughly selfa magistrate he is exemplary for punctuality ish wish to turn this and other such lucuof attendance; but his humanity lets loose brations to the best pecuniary account. We the evil-doer, while his respect for authority therefore hope that they will not be matesupports the county officials placed under rially the worse for favoring us with a peruhis control in oppressions and plunders in-sal; and so we heartily bid them farewell. finite. On a very recent occasion, he halfruined the people, by causing a strike of the manufacturers, through a well-meant lecture from the bench on wages and profits. In their own family this couple are not more happy. By good-naturedly overlooking faults innumerable, they have not a sober servant left on their establishment; and they were compelled to transport their butler for participating in the robbery of their plate-chest, because they had not the heart to punish a series of petty dishonesties. No No No No If from private life we turned our attention to what is done in Parliament, it would No not be difficult to show that the worst miscarriages in legislation are owing to the good intentions of gentlemen who never thought on politics, economy, or any one public question, before they found their way into the house. How many hundred men, for instance, were hung for forgery, without the slightest effect on the statistics of crime, by the repeated votes of men who had no other intention than to secure the Bank, and preserve the credit of the paper currency! How many years were Catho NO! No sun-no moon No morn-no noon dawn-no dusk-no proper time of day No sky-no earthly view No distance looking blue .. road-no street-no "t'other side the way"No end to any Row No indications when the Crescents go- No courtesies for showing 'em- "No go"-by land or ocean- No news from any foreign coast- No fruits, no flow'rs, no leaves, no birds, No- T. H. meat nearest the bone is not only the first to spoil plied he; "why, probably I am not wholly unknown when the salt does not sufficiently take, but event- to you, at least by name-I am the King of Prussia !" ually becomes the saltest when it does so. Were," Better and better," said the man; "and you, what indeed, the bone removed, and the mixture of sugar are you, then, ?" looking at the third person. "I with the salt universally adopted in meat-curing, am the Emperor of Austria!" "Perfect, perfect," ship's beef would cease to be known among sailors, exclaimed the provincial, laughing with all his when long in brine by the sobriquets of old horse, might. "But you, monsieur," said the Emperor old junk, mahogany, &c.; or a ship-carpenter be Alexander," surely you will also let us know whom puzzled to tell what species of wood it was on a we have the honor to speak to ?" "To be sure," salt-hardened piece of lean cut square and polished replied the man, quitting them with an important being presented for his inspection. strut, I am the Great Mogul."-Bell's Life in London. Water in ships' casks soon becomes so nauseous to taste and smell as to be a frequent source of disease, owing to the evolution of inflammable noxious gases by the chemical action of the water upon the wood. A table-spoon-full of fresh lime well mingled with a butt of water, by a stick agitation through the bung hole, not only prevents this, but destroys the contained animalcules, and precipitates the dissolved vegetable matter; thus keeping the water pure, sweet and wholesome, during the longest voyages; a desideratum so conducive to health and comfort, that the lime-mingling ought to be enforced in every emigrant-ship by the Gov. P. CUNNINGHAM, R. N. ernment-agents. -Colonial Gazette. PENSION TO WORDSWORTH.-"There have been statements and counter-statements in the newspapers in respect to the grant of a Civil List pension to Wordsworth, the poet. We understand the fact to be, that her Majesty has been graciously pleased to grant a pension of £300 per annum on the Civil List to Mr. Wordsworth. MACHINE FOR MAKING BRICKS AND TILES.-A lie, is now on view at the pin-manufactory in the very ingenious machine, constructed by Mr. AinsBorough-road A very short description of the objects and operation of this invention will show its value to manufacturers of tiles or bricks, and more especially to those persons who are engaged in draining lands. The clay is thrown in on the top of two circular cylinders, which are placed perpendicularly at a distance of about a quarter of an inch from each other; and the clay is thus ground be. tween them and falls into a receiver below, crushing to atoms all stones or other impurities, so that even bad material can be used. The clay is then propelled forward against the iron plate on which are cut the apertures through which the tiles, bricks, etc., to be manufactured are forced. The material moves forward on a sheet of felt, and a wire cuts each tile or brick as it moves forward into equal lengths. The clay comes through the iron plate in three supplies at once, and it is calculated that on an average thirty tiles of the most perfect form are made in one minute under ordinary cir "Her Majesty has also, we are informed, granted a pension of £100 per annum to each of the Miss Kennedys, the sisters of the late Sir Robert Ken-cumstances, but much more may be done; bricks, nedy; to whose distinguished services during the war, as Commissary-General of the Forces, such honorable testimony was borne by the Duke of Wellington in his place in the House of Lords during the last session of Parliament. about the same; flat tiles double the number. The great advantages in this process are that the articles made come from the machine in perfect form and ready for drying for the kiln; and, being thus "Every friend to science will rejoice to hear that drainage tiles are stronger than those made by any perfected by machinery, the backs of the curved the name of Mr. Owen, the Hunterian Professor of other process. Here the substance must be of one the College of Surgeons, has been added to the list of thickness, and the shape uniform and smooth in all eminent men (Airey, Faraday, and others of equal respects. The cost of making 3,000 drain tiles a distinction) whose claims upon public gratitude day, by hand, is calculated at £1 0s. 6d., or of have been acknowledged by the Sovereign.-Colo-1.000 at 6s. 10d. The cost of manufacturing nial Gazette. 10,000 of the same article in a day by this machine is 14s. 6d.-Britannia. THE THREE SOVEREIGNS.-The following anecdote has often been told by the Emperor Alexander, and is amongst the traditions of the Russian court: A PARALLEL TO "THE GRAPES ARE SOUR."—A -In 1814. during the period that the allies were black slave in one of the southern states of the masters of Paris, the Czar, who resided in the Hotel American Union, to whom meat was a rare blessof M. de Talleyrand, was in the daily habit of ta-ing, one day found in his trap a plump rabbit. He ing a walk (in strict incognito) every morning in the took him out alive, held him under his arm, patted gardens of the Tuileries, and thence to the Palais him, and began to speculate on his qualities. "Oh, Royale. He one day met two other sovereigns, and how berry fat! De fattest I ebber did see! Let the three were returning arm-in-arm to breakfast us see how me cook him. Me roast him? No; in the Rue St. Florentin, when, on their way thither, he be so fat me lose all de grease. Me fry him? they encountered a provincial, evidently freshly im. Ah, he be so berry fat he fry himself. Golly, how ported to Paris, and who had lost his way. "Gen-fat he be! Den me stew him." The thought of tlemen," said he, "can you tell me which is the Tuileries?" "Yes," replied Alexander, "follow us, we are going that way, and will show you." Thanks on the part of the countryman led them soon into conversation. A few minutes sufficed to arrive at the palace; and, as here their routes lay in opposite directions, they bade each other reciprocally adieu. "Parbleu cried all at once the provincial, "I should be glad to know the names of persons so amiable and complaisant as you are?" My name?" said the first" Oh, certainly; you have, perhaps, heard of me; I am the Emperor Alexander!" "A capital joke," exclaimed the Gascon; "an Emperor!"-and you," addressing the second individual, "who may you be?" "I," re ་་ the savory stew made the nigger forget himself, and, in spreading out the feast to his imagination, his arm relaxed, when off hopped the rabbit, and squatting at a goodly distance, eyed his last owner with great composure. The negro knew there was an end of the matter, so, summoning all his philosophy, he thus addressed the rabbit-" You longeared, white-whiskered, red-eyed rat, you not so berry fat after all!"—Ibid. SUPERSTITIONS OF CORNWALL.-The ceremony of dipping children afflicted with various diseases in a well in the parish of Cubert, and afterwards passing them through a hole in the cliff near the spot, actually takes place every Holy Thursday, at which |