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Phalaris, some Cambridge wags
Wax-chandlers. made the following pun : They exhibited, in a print, Phalaris's guards In days of old, when gratitude to thrusting Dr. Bentley into the ty- saints called so frequently for lights, rant's brazen bull, and this label is- the wax-chandlers of London were suing from the doctor's mouth, “I a flourishing company : they were had much rather be roasted than incorporated in 1484, and the folboyld!”
lowing more frugal than elegant repast was given on the occasion :
I, s. d.
Two loins of mutton, In St. Saviour's church, South
and two loins of veal 0 1 4 wark, London, among innumerable
A loin of beef
0 0 4 others, is the following epitaph on a
A leg of mutton
0 0 23 monument for Richard Humble, his
0 0 4 wife, and two children.
0 0 6 A coney
0 0 2 Like to the damask rose you see,
One dozen of pigeons Or like the blossom on the tree,
A hundred eggs Or like the dainty flower of May,
0 0 6 Or like the morning of the day; Or like the sun, or like the shade,
A gallon of red wine 0 0 8 Or like the gourd which Jonas had :
A kilderkin of ale 0 0 8 Even so is man, whose thread is spun,
0 6 0 Drawn out, and cut, and so is done. See Pennant, p. 437. The rose withers; the blossom blast
eth; The flower fades; the morning hast. To a young lady, on her birth day.
eth; The sun sets ; the shadow fies;
Now, Mary, thou art sweet eighteen, The gourd consumes; and man he
In Nature's bloom of form and mien; dies.
Taste and good humour to delight
A mistress of the dance and song, Theodore, King of Corsica.
Neat repartee upon the tongue,
And music, Mary, at thy finger ends. When Theodore, the unfortunate
Now beaux their love-tales will beto lodge in a garret in London,
The tall, the short, the thick, and thin, a number of gentlemen made a col.
The fool, the man of sense, the gay, lection for his relief. The chair
the sombre : man of the committee informed him
And would old Time, the thief, alack, by letter, that on the following day, Give me but half a century back, at twelve o'clock, two gentlemen I certainly should be among the would wait upon him with the mo.
number. ney. To give his attic apartment an appearance of royalty, the poor O may thy future minutes fly monarch placed an arm-chair on Without a tear, without a sigh, his half-testered bed, and, seating Rich with the world's enjoyments, himself under the scanty canopy, full of spirits ; gave what he thought might serve Forgiving then my thief, old Time, as the representation of a throne. I'd praise the rascal in my rhyme, When his two visitors entered the For doing so much justice to thy room, he graciously held out his
merits. right hand, that they might have the honour of kissing it. Ireland's A poor Scotsman having been Hogarth, vol. 1. p. 12,
worsted in a law-suit he had brought before the court of session the second representation of Vol. against his rich landlord, as he was taire's celebrated tragedy of Zara. coming out of the parliament house On its first representation, the play observed the city of Edinburgh's was received with the loudest aparms then inscribed over the gate, plause; but the author conceived that Nisi Dominus frustra (without the some alteration in several passages Lord it is in vain), shook his head, would greatly increase the effect of and said, “ very true; Unless you the piece. Voltaire accordingly did be a laird it is in vain to come introduce some alterations, and prehere.”
sented the play in the improved state to the several performers.
Dufresne, who personated the prin. Don Quixote.
cipal character, refused to attend to
the alterations, and no entreaties It seems a problem in literature, could prevail on him to give them that a nation the gravest and most the smallest notice. It was necesseriously disposed by its natural sary to have recourse to a stratatemper, and the gloomy despotism gem to gain Voltaire's object. He of its government and religion, was apprised that Dufresne was veshould have produced the most live- ry fond of a good dinner, and he ly work that ever was written. It determined to address him on this abounds in original humour and ex. score. Voltaire got a pie prepared, quisite satire. It displays the most filled with partridges, and sent it to copious invention, the most whimsi. Dufresne's house by a person who cal incidents, and the keenest re- was carefully to conceal from him marks on the follies of its cotempo. from whom the present came. The raries. There is no book in what present was graciously received, ever language that so eminently and immediately made part of an possesses the power of exciting entertainment which Dufresne haplaughter. The following anecdote pened that day to be giving to a may be recorded as an instance of it: party of friends. The pie was
Philip III, being one day at a balopened ; and to Dufresne's no small cony of the palace at Madrid, ob- surprise, each partridge contained served a young student on the bor- in its mouth a copy of the alteraders of the Manzanares, with a book tions in Zara. He was so well in his hand, who, as he read, exhi. pleased with the conceit, that he rebited the most violent marks of ex- studied the part; and a present of a tacy and admiration, by liis gestures partridge-pie was the means of givand the repeated peals of laughter ing stability to one of Voltaire's best which he sent forth. Struck with tragedies. the oddity of the sight, the king turned to one of his courtiers, and said, “ Either that young man is out of his mind, or he is reading For the Literary Magazine. Don Quixote." The courtier descended for the purpose of satisfy
ON EDUCATION. ing the curiosity of the monarch, and discovered that it actually was a
LETTER III. volume of Cervantes, which the youth was perusing with such de
To the Editor, &c. light.
THE child is born without ideas,
consequently without any natural Anecdote of Voltaire. genius : his mind, therefore, is not
formed for any particular science; A curious circumstance is men the whole field of knowledge is open tioned in a French paper, repecting to him, and to whatever part of it
he turns his attention, he will equal- of genius, and then they are equally ly excel. But although he has an fitted for plodding at any thing. equal capacity of excelling in any But, even if such a sensation should science, he cannot become an adept occur, it will hardly infuse into them in all ; universal knowledge is not that spirit of emulation which a to be grasped by a human capacity. wise parent can. It is then geneHe must give his whole mind to one rally the fault of the parents if the or two sciences, these will be con child's genius does not point exactly nected with several others, in which as they would have it. he will collaterally make a conside. When chance* fixes the genius rable progress. It is rare, indeed, of a child, it very often inspires it to find a man eminent in two oppo- with as strong an aversion for one site branches of knowledge.
science as it does with love for “ But if it be true, that children another. In vain is it compelled to are born with an equal capacity of study what it hates; compulsion inexcelling in every science, how creases the disgust; it receives only comes it that when they are ar- unpleasant sensations; and, were it rived at years of maturity, and to five to the age of Methuselah, it their parents are desirous of fixing would not be perfect in its rudi. them in a particular trade or pro- ments. fession, they find in them an invin We will now inquire, " by what cible dislike to it, and that their in- means can the genius of a child be clination and talent lie quite a diffe. formed to any particular science, so rent way; and that children who as to ensure his attaining a consideare remarkably clever in some rable eminence in it?" things, are frequently as stupid in By placing him in situations the others?
best calculated to excite strong The first object that strikes chil. sensations, and at times when they dren forcibly, and excites in them will strike him most forcibly. an uncommonly strong sensation, Would I, for example, make my fixes their genius; it instantly leads child a painter ? his toys should al. them to a science, in which they most entirely consist of pictures : find delight, and the pleasure it af- and whenever I'rewarded him for fords induces them to bestow upon being good, it should be by a present it labour and attention; it is, there- of one particularly pretty. I would fore, impossible but that they should point out to him their various beau. excel in it. The improvement they ties, give him a pencil and some make is always in proportion to the paints, tell him to copy them, and that keenness of their sensations.
when he had drawn those he had Parents should fix upon a profes- got, I would give him other's ; and sion for their children as soon as when he had attempted it, reward they are born; and, when the first and applaud him. I would teach dawning of reason begins to appear, him how to hold his pencil, and use the necessary means to form sometimes guide his hand. As soon their genius accordingly. They al. as fit he should have a master. I most universally think that they would frequently take him out and have done their part in sending show him the finest prospects, and them to a reputable school, and give point out to him distinctly their paring them a good classical education. ticular beauties, and, upon the spot, This is the least part of education. make him endeavour to imitate Some casual occurrence fixes chil. them. In order to fire him with dren's genius, and the odds are very emulation, I would relate to him the much against its being fixed accord. ing to the parent's wishes, unless, * I here use the word chance in the indeed, it should happen that, by sense that Helvetius does, viz: “ An never experiencing a strong sensa. unknown concatenation of causes, caltion, they should remain destitute culated to produce certain effects.
high estimation in which great pain. take him to the most curious manuters have been held, and, as soon as factories, and reward him accordhe was able, make him read over ing to the attention he bestowed up. and again the lives of the most emi. on them. His rewards should connent ones.
sist of new pieces of mechanism Would I make him a poet? all and new tools, and I would press his little histories should be in verse: much upon him the estimation in I would read to him the plainest which ingenious mechanics are pieces of poetry, and dwell particu. held. larly on the rhyming syllables. I Children and men act equally would make him read the lives and from a desire of happiness; that is works of the most celebrated poets,' the only end they aim at. In very and enlarge upon their great repu- early age they are not able to comtation; and, as soon as he was able, prehend that virtue and wisdom remake him write verses, attending ward themselves; the idea is too only to the measure and rhyme; large for their infant minds; they and, as his reason matured, he therefore look forward to the pret. should attend to the sense. All tiest toy as the summit of pleasure. these he should read over to me. I At first therefore they must be rewould carefully point out to him warded with toys (which, as I have their errors and defects, and re. before said, should always be conward him with a new poem. ducive to the formation of their ge.
Would I make him a legislator? nius), but, at the same time, their his little books should be on morals, virtue and merit should be applaudand the lives of great statesmen and ed; the desire of applause will plilosophers. These I would ex. thereby insensibly blend itself with plain to him ; as likewise the politi- the desire of a toy, till by degrees cal occurrences of past and present they acquire a strong spirit of emutimes. This I would do daily, and lation. But in infusing into them his faculties would soon begin to en. this spirit, we must be careful not large and comprehend them. I to inspire them with a contempt for would dwell strongly upon the im- other sciences, or lead them to mense benefits great legislators con- think that the master of any other fer upon mankind. I would often profession is greater than themtake him to the legislative assem- selves. The first will render them blies, and daily examine him to self-conceited, arrogant, and narsee what new ideas he had ac. row-minded : it will induce them to quired. His rewards should consist entertain too high an opinion of in philosophical, moral, and politi. themselves, and to think that they cal books.
have already attained perfection, Would I make him a mechanic? and thereby raise an insuperable I would give him toys of ingenious barrier against further improveconstruction ; these I would pull to ment. The latter will disgust them pieces and put together again before with their own profession, for emuhim, pointing out their particular lation borders so near upon ambiformation, and the manner in which tion, that a man strongly filled with they acted. I would likewise make it cannot brook a superior ; but if him endeavour to put them toge- he believe himself upon an equality ther, and cut out and construct little with him, he is satisfied; the hightrinkets, &C., and always mend his er the other carries his attainments, own toys, and, when he succeeded, the more will he redouble his dili. reward him with a new piece of gence to keep pace with him. mechanism. I would take him to Astheir reasoning powers enlarge, different workshops, and point out we should peculiarly dwell upon the to him the manner in which the excellence of virtue and wisdom, workmen constructed their differ- and demonstrate how essentially ent articles : I would afterwards they are interwoven with their real happiness. We must not only ren- ture of the medicines which the der them skilful in their particular venerable Tamas, the black eunuch profession, but endow them with all with the white beard, was in the the requisites of a good man and a daily habit of bringing from the shop good citizen. A moderate degree of the apothecary, the sage of Zulof literary knowledge is therefore pha has left us unacquainted; pernecessary for every person.
haps, as he had once dabbled in " But when the child's genius is physic himself, he was jealous lest strongly fixed another way, how such an acquisition to medical scican it be made to acquire it?” ence should extend beyond the limits
Whatever a child's genius is fix. of the haram of the magnificent ed upon, it takes delight, and is de. Mirza, or, at the utmost, beyond the sirous of being occupied in : if then walls of Ispahan : for it is certain, I found that it had imbibed an that, whether they appeared in the aversion to literary pursuits, I would shape of pills, draughts, juleps, exselect a few books of the most use tracts, emulsions, or what not, they ful information, and before I suffered had a wonderful effect on the conit to play or study its favourite pur- stitution of the beautiful and intesuit, oblige it to read attentively a resting patient. small quantity. By this means it While that impatience of conwould soon acquire a sufficiency of troul which we formerly hinted to this knowledge.
be a symptom of the disorder of the We must be careful not to keep lovely Zulima subsided, her former them too long at their studies, espe. fascinating bloom and clearness of cially againt their inclination, or of complexion, with all the animattheir minds by being fatigued willing graces that darted from her grow heavy, and lose their elastici. eyes, and played about her features, ty. Moderate recreation is there and her former affability, also refore absolutely necessary.
turned. Neither should we be too prone Mirza was in raptures at the reto find fault, but, on the contrary, storation of his darling daughter. applaud them whenever we can. His liberality to Nadir, whom he Harsh treatment always casts a extolled as the Persian Esculapius, gloom upon their spirits, and tends was unbounded. He presented him immediately to the destruction of with a house near his palace, furnishemulation; when they find they ed in a stile that, while it delighted cannot please, they lose the desire Ismael, was the wonder of Abud and of pleasing. Gentleness, on the his former neighbours, some of
the child will labour for a smile, that “ Noblemen took strange fanwhen it believes its reward is sure, cies.” He also procured him a di
W, W. ploma from the college which was
founded by Normahal at Delhi, and
still retains his name; for the sage For the Literary Magazine. and scientific physicians of Ispahan,
for some reason which certainly had OMAR AND FATIMA; OR, THE neither jealousy nor envy for its APOTHECARY OF ISPAHAN. basis, refused to admit him into
their order. Mirza said that their ( Continued from page 142) malignity arose from his having
dared to soar beyond the limited THE interviews of the learned rules of their practice, and perform Nadir with the lovely Zulima were a cure which showed the fallacy of frequent. His morning visit was, fixing principles upon so unsubstanby her desire, often protracted till tial a foundation as the fluctuations noon; yet she sent for him again of the human mind, and the insta. early in the evening. With the na. bility of the human constitution,