HOW TO MAKE A PEER.

Take a man, with or without parts, of an ancient or a new family, with one or with two Boroughs at his command, previous to a dissolution. Let him renounce all former professions and obligations, and engage to bring in your friends, and to support you himself. Or, take the Country Gentleman who the least expects it; and particularly let the honour be conferred when he has done nothing to deserve it.

HOW TO MAKE SECRET INFLUENCE.

Take a tall, ill-looking man, with more vanity, and less reason for it, than any person in Europe. He should be one who does not possess a single consolatory private virtue, under a general public detestation. His pride and avarice should increase with his prosperity, while they lead him to neglect and despise the natural claims of indigence in his own family. If such a man can be found, he will easily be made the instigator, as well as the instrument, of a cabal, which has the courage to do mis

chief, and the cowardice of not being responsible for it; convinced that he can never obtain any other importance, than that to be derived from the execution of purposes evidently pursued for the establishment of tyranny upon the wreck of public ruin.

HINTS

FROM DR. PRETTYMAN, THE COMMIS, TO THE PREMIER'S PORTER,

To admit Mr. WILBERFORCE, although Mr. PITT should be even engaged with the SOUTHWARK agents, fabricating means to defeat Sir RICHARD HOTHAM.-WILBE must have two bows.-ATKINSON to be shown into the antechamber-he will find amusement in reading LAZARILLO de Tormez, or the complete Rogue.-If Lord APSLEY and Mr. PERCEVAL come from the Admiralty, they may be ushered into the room where the large looking-glasses are fixedin that case they will not regret waitingDon't let Lord MAHON be detained an instant at the door, the pregnant young lady opposite having been sufficiently frightened already!!!—JACK ROBINSON to be shown into the study, as the private papers were all removed this morning-Let Lord LonsPALE have My Lord, and Your Lordship, repeated to his ear as often as possible-the

apartment hung with garter-blue is proper for his reception!-The other new Peers to be greeted only plain Sir! that they may remember their late ignobility, and feel new gratitude to the benefactor of honours!You may, as if upon recollection, address

some of the last list, My Lord!—and ask their names-it will be pleasing to them to sound out their own titles.-Lord ELIOT is to be an exception, as he will tediously go through every degree of his dignity in giving an answer.-All letters from BERKELEY-SQUARE to be brought in without mentioning Lord SHELBURNE's name, or even Mr. ROSE's. The Treasury Messenger to carry the red box, as usual, to CHARLES JENKINSON, before it is sent to Buckinghamhouse.-Don't blunder a second time, and question Lord MOUNTMORRES as to the life of a hackney chairman-it is wrong to judge by appearances!-Lord GRAHAM may be admitted to the library-he can't read, and therefore won't derange the books.

A TALE.

AT BROOKES'S once, it so fell out,
The box was push'd with glee about
With mirth reciprocal inflam'd,
"Twas said they rather play'd than gam'd;
A general impulse through them ran,
And seem'd to actuate every man:
But as all human pleasures tend
At some sad moment to an end,
The hour at last approach'd, when, lọ!
'Twas time for every one to go.
Now for the first time it was seen,
A certain sum unown'd had been;
To no man's spot directly fixt,
But plac'd ambiguously betwixt ;
So doubtfully indeed it lay,

That none with confidence could say,
"This cash is mine-I'm certain on 't ;-

But most declin'd with" Sir, I won't
"I can't in conscience urge a right
"To what I am not certain quite."
-NORTHUMBRIA'S DUKE, who wish'd to put
An end to this polite dispute,

Whose generous nature yearn'd to see

The smallest seeds of enmity,

Arose and said-" This cash is mine;

"For being ask'd to-day to dine,

"You see I'm furbelow'd and fine,

"With full-made sleeves and pendent lace

Rely on't, this was just the case,