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prey upon and deceive frankness and confidence; and who, when he can no longer avail himself of both, will sacrifice even his character in the cause of treachery, and prefer the interests resulting from it, to the virtuous distinctions of honour and gratitude.
HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY AT WAR..
Take a man that will take any thing. Let him possess all the negative virtues of being able to do no harm, but at the same time can do no good; for they are qualifi
cations of a courtly nature, and may in time recommend him to a situation something worse, or something better.
HOW TO MAKE AN ATTORNEY-GENERAL.
Take a little ugly man, with an eye to his preferment. It is not requisite that he should be much of a lawyer, provided that he be a tolerable politician; but in order to qualify himself for an English Judge, he should first be a Welsh one. He must have docility sufficient to do any thing; and, if a period should arrive, when power has
popularity enough to make rules and laws for the evident purpose of gratifying malignity, he should be one who should be ready to advise or consent to the creation of new cases, and be able to defend new remedies for them, though they militate against every principle of reason, equity, and justice.
N. B. The greatest part of this Receipt would make a MASTER OF THE ROLLS.
HOW TO MAKE A WARDROBE-KEEPER, OR PRIVÝ-PURSE.
Take the most supercilious fool in the nation, and let him be in confidence in proportion to his ignorance.
HOW TO MAKE A SURVEYOR-GENERAL OF THE
Take a Captain in the Navy, as being best acquainted with the Army; he should have been a few years at sea, in order to qualify him for the direction of works on shore; and let him be one who will sacrifice his connexions with as much ease as he would renounce his profession.
HOW TO MAKE A PEER.
Take a man, with or without parts, of an ancient or a new family, with one or with two Boroughs at his command, previous to a dissolution. Let him renounce all former professions and obligations, and engage to bring in your friends, and to support you himself. Or, take the Country Gentleman who the least expects it; and particularly let the honour be conferred when he has done nothing to deserve it.
HOW TO MAKE SECRET INFLUENCE.
Take a tall, ill-looking man, with more vanity, and less reason for it, than any person in Europe. He should be one who does not possess a single consolatory private virtue, under a general public detestation. His pride and avarice should increase with his prosperity, while they lead him to neglect and despise the natural claims of indigence in his own family. If such a man can be found, he will easily be made the instigator, as well as the instrument, of a cabal, which has the courage to do mis
chief, and the cowardice of not being responsible for it; convinced that he can never obtain any other importance, than that to be derived from the execution of purposes evidently pursued for the establishment of tyranny upon the wreck of public ruin.
FROM DR. PRETTYMAN, THE COMMIS, TO THE PREMIER'S PORTER,
To admit Mr. WILBERFORCE, although Mr. PITT should be even engaged with the SOUTHWARK agents, fabricating means to defeat Sir RICHARD HOTHAM.-WILBE must have two bows.—ATKINSON to be shown into the antechamber-he will find amusement in reading LAZARILLO DE Tormez, or the complete Rogue.-If Lord APSLEY and Mr. PERCEVAL come from the Admiralty, they may be ushered into the_room where the large looking-glasses are fixedin that case they will not regret waitingDon't let Lord MAHON be detained an instant at the door, the pregnant young lady opposite having been sufficiently frightened already!!!-JACK ROBINSON to be shown into the study, as the private papers were all removed this morning-Let Lord LonsPALE have My Lord, and Your Lordship, repeated to his ear as often as possible-the