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Sly. What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat alewife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What, I am not bestraught: Here's
1 Serv. O, this it is that makes your lady mourn. 2 Serv. O, this it is that makes your servants droop.
Lord. Hence comes it that your kindred shun
As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.
And twenty caged nightingales do sing :
Say, thou wilt walk: we will bestrew the ground:
Above the morning lark: Or wilt thou hunt?
1 Serv. Say, thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are
Like envious floods o'er-ran her lovely face,
Sly. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?
Servants present an ewer, bason, and napkin.
As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.
2 Serv. Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch
Adonis, painted by a running brook :
Lord. We'll show thee Io, as she was a maid;
3 Serv. Or Daphne, roaming through a thorny
Scratching her legs that one shall swear she bleeds:
Lord. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord:
1 Serv. And, till the tears that she hath shed for In peril to incur your former malady,
That I should yet absent me from your bed.
Sly. Ay, it stands so, that I may hardly tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again; I will therefore tarry, in despite of the flesh and the blood.
My men should call me-lord; I am your goodman. Page. My husband and my lord, my lord and husband;
I am your wife in all obedience.
Sly. I know it well: :- - What must I call her?
Sly. Al'ce madam, or Joan madam?
Lord. Madam, and nothing else; so lords call
Sly. Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd
Page. Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me;
Page. Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you,
Enter a Servant.
Serv. Your honour's players, hearing your amend-
Are come to play a pleasant comedy,
And frame your mind to nurth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms, and lengthens life.
Sly. Marry, I will; let them play it: Is not a commonty a Christmas gambol, or a tumblingtrick?
Page. No, my good lord: it is more pleasing stuff.
SCENE I.. - Padua. A publick Place.
Luc. Tranio, since-for the great desire I had
Gave me my being, and my father first,
Tell me thy mind: for I have Pisa left,
Tra. Mi perdonate, gentle master mine,
Luc. Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise. If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore,
We could at once put us in readiness;
Tra. Master, some show, to welcome us to town. Enter BAPTISTA, KATHARINA, BIANCA, GREMIO, and HORTENSIO. LUCENTIO and TRANIO stand aside.
Bap. Gentlemen, impórtune me no further, For how I firmly am resolv'd you know; That is, -not to bestow my youngest daughter, Before I have a husband for the elder:
Sly. What, houshold stuff?
Sly. Well, we'll see't: Come, madam wife, sit by my side, and let the world slip; we shall ne'er be younger. [They sit down.
If either of you both love Katharina,
There, there Hortensio, will you any wife?
Kath. I pray you, sir, [to BAP.] is it your will To make a stale of me amongst these mates? Hor. Mates, maid! how mean you that? no mates for you,
Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.
Kath. I'faith, sir, you shall never need to fear; I wis, it is not half way to her heart : But, if it were, doubt not her care should be To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool, And paint your face, and use you like a fool. Hor. From all such devils, good Lord, deliver us! Gre. And me too, good Lord!
Tra. Hush, master! here is some good pastime toward;
That wench is stark mad, or wonderful froward.
Tra. Well said, master; mum! and gaze your fill.
Bian. Sister, content you in my discontent. Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe: My books, and instruments, shall be my company; On them to look, and practise by myself.
Luc. Hark, Tranio! thou may'st hear Minerva speak. [Aside. Hor. Signior Baptista, will you be so strange? Sorry am I, that our good will effects Bianca's grief.
Bap. Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolv'd: Go in, Bianca. [Exit BIANCA.
And for I know, she taketh most delight
To mine own children in good bringing-up;
What, shall I be appointed hours; as though, belike, | That made great Jove to humble him to her hand, I knew not what to take, and what to leave! Ha!
When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand. Tra. Saw you no more? mark'd you not, how her sister
Gre. You may go to the devil's dam; your gifts are so good, here is none will hold you. Their love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out; our cake's dough on both sides. Farewell:-Yet, for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a man, to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father?
Hor. Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience and mine, to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man cou d light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.
Gre. I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition, - to be whipped at the high-cross every morning.
Hor. 'Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintained,―till by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband, we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to't afresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest, gets the ring. How say you, signior Gremio?
Gre. I am agreed: and 'would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing, that would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and bed her, and rid the house of her. Come on.
[Exeunt GREMIO and HORTENSIO. Tra. [Advancing.] I pray, sir, tell me, - - Is it
Tra. Master, it is no time to chide you now;
The rest will comfort, for thy counsel's sound.
Tra. Master, you look'd so longly on the maid, Perhaps you mark'd not what's the pith of all.
Luc. O yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face, Such as the daughter of Agenor had,
Began to scold; and raise up such a storm,
Luc. Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move,
Tra. Nay, then, 'tis time to stir him from his
I pray, awake, sir; If you love the maid,
Luc. Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father's he!
Master, for my hand, Both our inventions meet and jump in one. Luc. Tell me thine first. Tra. And undertake the teaching of the maid: That's your device.
You will be schoolmaster,
It is May it be done?
Tra. Not possible; For who shall bear your part, And be in Padua here Vincentio's son? Keep house, and ply his book; welcome his friends; Visit his countrymen, and banquet them?
Luc. Basta; content thee; for I have it full. We have not yet been seen in any house; Nor can we be distinguished by our faces, For man, or master: then it follows thus ; Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead, Keep house, and port, and servants, as I should: I will some other be; some Florentine, Some Neapolitan, or mean man of Pisa. 'Tis hatch'd, and shall be so: — - Tranio, at once Uncase thee; take my colour'd hat and cloak: When Biondello comes, he waits on thee; But I will charm him first to keep his tongue. nge habits
Tra. So had you need. [They
In brief then, sir, sith it your pleasure is, And I am tied to be obedient;
(For so your father charg'd me at our parting;
Luc. Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves :
Sirrah, where have you
Here comes the rogue..
Master, has my fellow Tranio stol'n your clothes?
And I for my escape have put on his;
I, sir? ne'er a whit.
Bion. The better for him; 'Would I were so too!
-not for my sake, but your master's,I advise
You use your manners discreetly in all kind of com-
When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio;
Luc. Tranio, let's go :
One thing more rests, that thyself execute;
Whom, 'would to God, I had well knock'd at first,
Rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly?
Why, this a heavy chance 'twixt him and you;
Pet. Such wind as scatters young men through the world,
Sly. Yes, by saint Anne, do I. A good matter, surely; Comes there any more of it?
To seek their fortunes further than at home,
Page. My lord, 'tis but begun.
Sly. 'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam Haply to wive, and thrive, as best I may : Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home, lady; 'Would 'twere done! And so am come abroad to see the world.
1 Serv. My lord, you nod; you do not mind the play.
Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO.
Pet. Verona, for a while I take my leave,
Gru. Nay, 'tis no matter, what he 'leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service. Look you, sir, he bid me knock him, and rap him soundly, sir: Well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so; being, perhaps, (for aught I see,) two and thirty, pip out?
And then I know after who comes by the worst.
'Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll wring it; I'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
[He wrings GRUMIO by the ears. Gru. Help, masters, help! my master is mad. Pet. Now, knock when I bid you: sirrah! villain !
Hor. How now? what's the matter? - My old friend Grumio! and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona?
Gru. Knock, sir! whom should I knock? is One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife, there any man has rebused your worship?
(As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,)
Pet. Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
Gru. Knock you here, sir? why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir?
Pet. Villain, say, knock me at this gate,
Hor. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly
As old as Sybil, and as curst and shrewd
Gru. Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet, or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
Hor. Petruchio, since we have stepped thus far
I will continue that I broach'd in jest.
Pet. Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray? Her only fault (and that is faults enough,)
Pet. Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we, Few words suffice: and, therefore, if thou know
Is, -that she is intolerably curst,
And shrewd, and froward: so beyond all measure,
Hor. Alla nostra casa bene venuto,
Molto honorato signor mio Petruchio.
Rise, Grumio, rise; we will compound this quarrel. I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
Pet. Hortensio, peace; thou know'st not gold's | As firmly as yourself ere still in place: effect:
Tell me her father's name, and 'tis enough;
Gru. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him: She may, perhaps, call him half a score knaves, or so why, that's nothing; an he begin once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what, sir, -an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it, that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat: You know him not, sir.
Hor. Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee; For in Baptista's keep my treasure is : He hath the jewel, of my life in hold, His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca; And her withholds from me, and other more Suitors to her, and rivals in my love: Supposing it a thing impossible, (For those defects I have before rehears'd, That ever Katharina will be woo'd, Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en; That none shall have access unto Bianca, Till Katharine the curst have got a husband.
Gru. Katharine the curst!
A title for a maid, of all titles the worst.
Hor. Now shall my friend Petruchio do me
And offer me, disguis'd in sober robes,
Well seen in musick, to instruct Bianca :
Enter GREMIO; with him LUCENTIO disguised, with books under his arm.
Gru. Here's no knavery! See; to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look about you: Who goes there? ha!
Hor. Peace, Grumio; 'tis the rival of my love: - Petruchio, stand by a while.
Gru. A proper stripling, and an amorous! [They retire. Gre. O, very well: I have perus'd the note. Hark you, sir; I'll have them very fairly bound: All books of love, see that at any hand; And see you read no other lectures to her : You understand me: - Over and beside Signior Baptista's liberality, I'll mend it with a largess: Take your papers too, And let me have them very well perfum'd; For she is sweeter than perfume itself,
To whom they go. What will read to her? Luc. Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you, As for my patron, (stand you so assur'd,)
Yea, and (perhaps) with more successful words
Gre. O this learning! what a thing it is!
Hor. Grumio, mum!— God save you, signior
Gre. And you're well met, signior Hortensio.
Whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
And, by good fortune, I have lighted well
good ones, I warrant you.
and that my deeds shall
And that his bags shall prove. [Aside. Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love;
Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,
Pet. I know, she is an irksome brawling scold; If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
Gre. No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman?
Pet. Born in Verona, old Antonio's son: My father dead, my fortune lives for me; And I do hope good days, and long, to see.
Gre. O, sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange :
But if you have a stomach, to't o'God's name;
Pet. Why came I hither, but to that intent?
Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang?
For he fears none. [Aside
Gre. Hortensio, hark!
My mind presumes, for his own good, and yours.