Oh! how the ponds and rivers boiled,
And how the shingles rattled!

And oaks were scattered on the ground,
As if the Titans battled;

And all above was in a howl,

And all below a clatter,
The earth was like a frying-pan,
Or some such hissing matter.

It chanced to be our washing-day,
And all our things were drying;
The storm came roaring through the lines,
And set them all a flying;

I saw the shirts and petticoats
Go riding off like witches;
I lost, ah! bitterly I wept, -
I lost my Sunday breeches!

I saw them straddling through the air,
Alas! too late to win them;

I saw them chase the clouds as if

A demon had been in them;

They were my darlings and my pride, — My boyhood's only riches,

"Farewell, farewell," I faintly cried,"My breeches! O my breeches!"

That night I saw them in my dreams, How changed from what I knew them! The dews had steeped their faded thread, The winds had whistled through them;

I saw the wide and ghastly rents,

Where demon claws had torn them;
A hole was in their amplest part,
As if an imp had worn them.

I have had many happy years,
And tailors kind and clever,

But those young pantaloons have gone

IN

Her name was Phoebe Brown;

Her cheeks were red, her hair was black,

And she was considered by good judges to be by

all odds the best looking girl in town.

Her age was nearly seventeen,

Her eyes were sparkling bright;

A very lovely girl she was,

And for about a year and a half there had been a

young man paying his attention to her, by the name of Reuben Wright.

Now Reuben was a nice young man

As any in the town,

And Phoebe loved him very dear,

But, on account of his being obliged to work for a

living, he never could make himself agreeeble to old Mr. and Mrs. Brown.

Her parents were resolved

Another she should wed,

A rich old miser in the place,

And old Brown frequently declared, that rather

than have his daughter marry Reuben Wright, he'd sooner knock him in the head.

But Phoebe's heart was brave and strong,

She feared not her parents' frowns';

And as for Reuben Wright so bold,

I've heard him say more than fifty times that

(with the exception of Phœbe) he did n't care a cent for the whole race of Browns.

So Phoebe Brown and Reuben Wright

Determined they would

marry;

Three weeks ago last Tuesday night,

They started for old Parson Webster's, determined

to be united in the holy bonds of matrimony, though it was tremendous dark, and rained like the old Harry.

But Captain Brown was wide awake,

He loaded up his gun,

And then pursued the loving pair ;

He overtook 'em when they'd got about half way

to the Parson's, and then Reuben and Phoebe started off upon

the run.

and had the

stone dead.

Old Brown then took a deadly aim
Toward young Reuben's head,

But, oh! it was a bleeding shame,

He made a mistake, and shot his only daughter, unspeakable anguish of seeing her drop right down

Then anguish filled young Reuben's heart,
And vengeance crazed his brain,

He drew an awful jack-knife out,

And plunged it into old Brown about fifty or sixty

times, so that it's very doubtful about his ever coming to again.

The briny drops from Reuben's eyes

In torrents pouréd down,

And in this melancholy and heart-rending manner

terminates the history of Reuben and Phoebe, and likewise old

Captain Brown.

Anonymous.

CCCLXII.

THE REMOVAL.

A NERVOUS old gentleman, tired of trade, —

By which, though, it seems, he a fortune had made,Took a house 'twixt two sheds, at the skirts of the town, Which he meant, at his leisure, to buy and pull down.

This thought struck his mind when he viewed the estate ; But, alas! when he entered he found it too late;

For in each dwelt a smith ; — a more hard-working two Never doctored a patient, or put on a shoe.

At six in the morning, their anvils, at work, ́
Awoke our good squire, who raged like a Turk.
"These fellows," he cried, "such a clattering keep,
That I never can get above eight hours of sleep.”

From morning till night they keep thumping away,-
No sound but the anvil the whole of the day ;
His afternoon's nap and his daughter's new song,

Were banished and spoiled by their hammer's ding-dong.

He offered each Vulcan to purchase his shop;
But, no! they were stubborn, determined to stop ;
At length, (both his spirits and health to improve,)
He cried, "I'll give each fifty guineas to move."

“Agreed!” said the pair; "that will make us amends.” “Then come to my house, and let us part friends; You shall dine; and we 'll drink on this joyful occasion, That each may live long in his new habitation.”

He gave the two blacksmiths a sumptuous regale;
He spared not provisions, his wine, nor his ale;
So much was he pleased with the thought that each guest
Would take from him noise, and restore him to rest.

"And now," said he, "tell me, where mean you to move? I hope to some spot where your trade will improve."

"Why, sir,” replied one with a grin on his phiz,

"Tom Forge moves to my shop, and I move to his ! "

CCCLXIII.

Anonymous.

NONGTONGPAW.

OHN Bull for pastime took a prance,

JOHN

Some time ago, to peep at France;
To talk of sciences and arts,

And knowledge gained in foreign parts.
Monsieur, obsequious, heard him speak,
And answered John in heathen Greek:
To all he asked, 'bout all he saw,

"T was "Monsieur, je vous n'entends pas."

John, to the Palais-Royal came,
Its splendor almost struck him dumb.

"I

say, whose house is that there here?"
"House! Je vous n'entends pas, Monsieur."
"What, Nongtongpaw again!" cries John;
"This fellow is some mighty Don:
No doubt he's plenty for the maw,
I'll breakfast with this Nongtongpaw."

John saw Versailles from Marlé's height,
And cried, astonished at the sight,
"Whose fine estate is that there here?"
"State! Je vous n'entends pas, Monsieur."
"His? What the land and houses too?

The fellow's richer than a Jew:

On everything he lays his claw!

I should like to dine with Nongtongpaw."

Next tripping came a courtly fair,
John cried, enchanted with her air,