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memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a cliain, hanging at his brother's leg,--to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox, were nothing: he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care : but to be Menelaus,-I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus.--Hey-day! spirits and fires ! Enter Hector, TroilUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON,
ULYSSES, NESTOR, MenelAUS, and DIOMED, with Lights. Agam. We go'wrong, we go wrong. Ajar.
No, yonder 'tis;
I trouble you.
Here comes himself to guide you.
• Enter ACHILLES. Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all.
Agam. So now, fair prince of Troy, 1 bid good night. Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.
Hect. Thanks, and good night, to thě Greeks' general.
Good night, sweet Menelaus. Ther. Sweet draught: Sweet, quoth ’a! sweet sipk, sweet sewer.
Achil. Good night,
Agam. Good night. [Exeunt Agam. and Men.
Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two.
Dio. I cannot, Jord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now.—Good night, great Hector.
Hect. Give me your hand.
Follow his torch, he goes To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company.
[åside to Troilus. Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me. Hect.
And so good night. [Exit Diomed; Ulysses und Troilus following. Achil. Come, come, enter iny tent.
[Exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajar, and Nestor. , Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses : he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the bound; but when he performs, astronomers foretel it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog bim : they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after. - Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets!
SCENE 11. The same. Before Calchas' Tent.
Dio. Dioined.-Calcbas, I think.-Where's your danghter?
Cal. [Within] She comes to you.
i .. them, THERSITES. Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover us.
Enter Cressida. Tro, Cressid come forth to him! Dio.
How now, my charge? Cres. Now, my sweet guardian!-Hark! a word with you.
[Whispers. Tro. Yea, so familiar! Ulyss. She will sing any man at first sight.
Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff; she's noted..
Dio. Will you remember?
Nay, but do then; And let your mind be coupled with your words.
Tro. What should she remember?
do? Ther. A juggling trick, to be—secretly open. Dio. What did you swear you would bestow on me?
Cres. I prythee, do not hold me to mine oath;
How now, Trojan?
Diomed, Dio. No, no, good night : I'll be your fool no more. Tro. Thy better must. Cres.'
Hark! one word in your ear.
Now, good, my lord, go off:
You have not patience; come. Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's torments, I will not speak a word. Dio.
And so, good night.
Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.
Both that grieve thee?
Why, how now, lord ?
Guardian !-why, Greek!
Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something; will you go?
She strokes his cheek! Ulyss.
Come, come. Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word: There is between my will and all offences, A guard of patience :-stay a little while.
Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump, and potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!
Dio. But will you then ?
*** [Exit. Ulyss. You have sworn patience. Tre.
Fear me not, my lord;
Cres. You look upon that sleeve; Behold it well.-He lov'd me-0 false wench! Give't 'me again.
Dio. Who was't? · Cres.'
" No matter, now I hav't again. I will not meet with you to-morrow night : , I pr’ythee, Diomed, visit me no 'more. .
Ther. Now she sharpens ;-Well said, whetstone.
Dio. I shall have it.
Dio. I had your heart before, this follows it.
Dio. I will have this; Whose was it?'. .
'Tis no matter. Dio. Come, tell me whose it was.
Cres. 'Twas one's that lov'd me better than you will. But, now you have it, take it. Dio.
Whose was it? Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women yonder, And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
Dio. To-morrow will I wear it on my helm; And grieve his spirit, that dares not challenge it.
Tro. Wert thou the devil, and worst it on thy horn, It should be ch Cres. Well, well,''tis done, 'tis past;—And yet it is
not; I will not keep my word. Dio.
Why then, farewell; Thou never sbalt mock Diomed again.
n. Cres. You shall not go :-One cannot speak a word, But it straight starts you. Dio.
I do not like this fooling, Ther. Nor I, by Plulo: but that that likes not you, pleases me best. Dio. What, shall I come? the hour?
Ay, come:-0 Jove! Do come :- I shall be plagu'd. Dio.
" Farewell till then.