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AUTHOR OF "ORPHEUS C. KERR PAPERS," "AVERY GLIBUN,” ETC.
UNIV. OF CALIFORNIA
WITH ILLUSTRATIVE ANACHRONISMS BY THOMAS WORTH.
G. W. CARLETON, PUBLISHER
LONDON: S. LOW, SON, & CO. .
MDCCCLXVIII.
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1868, by
•G E-Q : • W. ›CARLETON,
In the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New
York.
ROCKWELL & ROLLINS, STEREOTYPERS AND PRINTERS,
122 Washington Street, Boston.
CONTENTS.
VERBA SESQUIPEDALIA
PAGE
9
LETTER I.
Narrating a pleasing Anecdote of New Jersey; describing the friendly
Visit of an exciting Journalist to an able military Candidate for the
Presidency; noting the disinterested Organization of the "Grand
Mackerel Army of the Republic;" and giving the truly American
Song and Story with which that Organization was partly celebrated,
LETTER II.
Illustrating, by a moral Connecticut Tale, the Fallacy of that political
Inspiration which is derived from the Graves of great Men; pictur-
ing the solemn Impeachment of A. Johnson at the Bar of the
Senate, and showing the great public Demoralization ensuing
therefrom,
17
37
LETTER III.
Wherein our Correspondent not only introduces a fashionable Washing-
tonian Belle, but also audaciously takes Advantage of a Delay in
Impeachment to address himself exclusively to the stylish young
Maidens of the Period,
LETTER IV.
Explaining the surprising Equanimity of a Nation under complicated
Misfortunes by the parallel Case of a great Philosopher of the
Sixth Ward; confessing the inexplicable Levity produced by the
honest Sentiments of a solid Boston Man; and celebrating the
Grand Opening of the Theatre of War with the Spectacular Drama
of Impeachment,
Introducing an impecunious but loyal Southern Cavalier; depicting a
gorgeous stage Procession in the mighty Spectacle of Impeach-
ment; reporting the unexampled and convincing inaugural Argu-
ment of Manager Butler, and the visible Consternation of nervous
Auditors thereat,
LETTER VI.
Which Attempts the sublime, but succeeds to a certain Extent only; yet
quotes favorite Passages from the prevailing Drama as they are
being simultaneously ground out, to great Applause, by "Organs"
all about the Country,
LETTER VII.
Charging the Radicals with the continued and exasperating wet
Weather; setting forth the great Wrong done to the Conservative
Kentucky Chap; repeating a Conversation in the Boxes and Scene
on the Stage of the Theatre of War; remarking the first of the
Soliloquies for the Defence; and announcing a Visit from the dire-
ful "Ku-Klux Klan,"
77
LETTER VIII.
Chanting an astonishing Lay in honor of clear Weather once more;
irreverently likening the stately Abode of Congress to a Stomach;
mentioning an attempted Speculation with Captain Samyule Sa-
mith, in real Estate, at Taikachor Court House; and sampling
Andrew Nelson's Soliloquy,
119
LETTER IX.
Being a veracious Account of the unparalleled Match against Nature by
the "American Proof-Reader" and the "Boston Marvel;" and
its inevitably tragical Termination,
LETTER X.
Moralizing upon the certain Result of Vice-Presidency; giving the
curious Epitaph of a victim of Eloquence; presenting the principal
Gems of a Guano Matinée; and recording the Enthusiasm of the
Populace over the last of the Impeachment Speeches,
130
LETTER XI.
Taking a hopeful View of the Future of American Art; affording valu-
able Hints to the coming great Historical Painter; and showing
how a sudden and unprecedented Outbreak of Morality caused a
lamentable "Hitch" in the great final Transformation Scene of the
majestic Drama of Impeachment,
LETTER XII.
Narrating the sudden Journey of our Correspondent and Others to the
South on a Mission of Reconstruction; illustrating the usual Gym-
nastic Perils of American Railroad Travel; and portraying how the
writer and Captain Villiam Brown, Eskevire, were received by a
renowned Confederacy,
140
150
LETTER XIII.
Ushering in the Lady of the Chateau with all the Forms and Graces;
introducing Croquet and one of its usual Results; and recording
the direful Mistake of an unsuspecting Union Officer,
LETTER XIV.
Chronicling the arrival of P. Penruthers as a Suitor; the ancient feudal
Ceremonies thereat; and the dreadful Demeanor of the Nobility at
the ensuing Banquet,
163
172
LETTER XV.
Citing an Incident of the Southern Postal Service; interpolating an
Impeachment Note from Washington, and a vague Wordsworthian
Parody; and " conservatively" touching upon the Presidential
Nomination of the last Mackerel General by a classical Convention,
LETTER XVI.
Showing how a disloyal Telegraph did pervert and mispunctuate the
Mackerel General's "Letter of Acceptance;" and spiritedly depict-
ing the great Munchausen Hunt and its lamentable Ending,
LETTER XVII.
Illustrating the tremendous extraneous Influence of large-sized Names;
and describing the most passionate and contemptuous Love Scene
ever beheld in fashionable Southern Society by a Yankee Varlet,
182
194
206