MINE VAMILY.-CHARLES F. ADAMS.

Dimbled scheeks mit eyes off plue,
Mout' like id vas moisd mit dew,
Und leedle teeth shust peekin' droo,-
Dot's der baby.

Curly head, und full of glee,
Drowsers all oudt at der knee,-
He vas peen blayin' horse, you see,—
Dot's leedle Otto.

Von hundord seexty in der shade,
Der oder day vhen she vas veighed, —
She beats me soon I vas avraid,—
Dot's mine Gretchen.

Bare-footed head, und pooty stoudt,
Mit grooked legs, dat vill bend oudt,
Fond off his bier und sauer kraut,—
Dot's me himself.

Von schmall young baby, full of fun,
Von leedle pright-eyed, roguish son,
Von frau to greet vhen vork vas done,-
Dot's mine vamily.

PATCHWORK PHILOSOPHY.

I've been thinking some, Keziah,
While a-sittin at my work,-
Though I ain't the sort of woman
To let thinking make me shirk,—
Ez I say, I've been a thinking
What a very curious way
Our lives is patched up together,
Cut and fit 'em as we may!

It's a square of blue or crimson,
Then a square of dark and light,
Then a half of red and yellow
By a half of solid white;
And with all our kalkilations
Ez to how the patterns run,

We can never tell eggsackly,
Until all the quilt is done.

There's that bit of blue, jes yonder,
'Tis as bright as June sky yet,
'Tain't your flimsy kind of cambric,
That you daren't as much as wet.
It's been five and twenty summers
Since that cambric gown was new,
And these withered cheeks had roses,
That were best set off by blue.
Then that laylock on the corner,
It belonged to Betsy Wade;
She was allus sort of shif❜less,
Buying what was sure to fade.
But she somehow took folks' fancies,
For men ne'er are o'erwise,
And the weakest sort of wimmen
Can throw sawdust in their eyes.

And that check, 'twas off a weskit
That I made for Abel Green;
We was-yes, chile-nigh to married,
When-when Betsy came between
Wall, 'tain't worth talking over,
Howsoe'er the squares may fit;

Ye kin never tell, till j'ining,
Ez to how the colors hit.

For the blue will spile the purple,
And the laylock spile the gray,
And the squares ye matched so certain,
Will match jes' the other way.
And with all yer careful patching,
You are allus sure to find

That the pattern, when it's finished,
Ain't eggsackly to your mind.

So, Keziah, I've been thinking,
Here a-sitting at my work-
Though I ain't the sort of woman

To let fancies make me shirk-
That our lives is like a patchwork,
With its squares of dark and light,
And there's only One, above us,
Who can do the j'ining right.

TREADWATER JIM.-SAMUEL W. SMALL, "Who's dat?-W'y dat's Treadwater Jim, De wust little nigger in town; What de folkes all sez dey'll hang him, 'Kase why, hit don't seem he kin drown! He keeps hisself dere in de watah 'Bout half ob his time in de year; An' ef he's got any home round hyar Hits out on de eend ob dat pier!

"Well, de name what he's got-it was gin him

By folkes what was kno'in de facks,

Fer dey sed dat sum title was due him

'Kase he'd done wun de nobles' of acks!

Ob koarse I kin tell yer de story,

'Kase I was rite dare on de spot,

An' ef Jim is entutl'd to glory

He fa'rly earnt all dat he's got!

"Yer see, hit waz out on de wahf, dar,
Wun sunshiny mawnin in May,
Dat er little chile up from de Nawf, Sar,
Wuz tooken out dar fer ter play;
An' Jim wuz out dar wid his fish line,
An' de nuss warn't a-watchin' de chile,
So hit walked off rite inter de brine
At dat corner dar by de big pile.

"Well, den dar wuz skreamin' and cryin'
Fum all de folkes round on de pier.
But Jim seed hit warn't no use tryin'
Ter reskew de chile fum up heah-

So he tuck er long dive fer de watah

An' struck whar de chile hed gone down, An' hit tuck him so long fer ter fine hit

De people tho't bofe 'em would drown.

"But purty soon out in de stream dar

Er kinky black hed cum in sight, An' helt close ter his bres' wif bofe han's, sah, Wuz de baby all limpy an' white!

Den de moufs ob de peeple wuz opened

In er long an' enkuridgin shout!

'Cum on wid de bote, men!' Jim hollered'I'll tread watah ontill yer get out!'

"Den dey bent ter der ores like Marsters,
An' flew ter whar Jim, wid de chile,
Wuz doin' his bes' ter keep floatin'

But weak'unin' hiz lick all de while,
Dey brought de two heah ter de landin',
An' de mother wuz crazy wid joy,
While de father jiss retched fer dat darkey
An' hugged him ez do' his own boy!
"So, yer see, dat's de reezin dey gib him
De name dat yer heered me jess call-
An' nobody bodders along wid Jim,

An' he does ez he pleazes wid all!
Ob koarse, what he done wuz right brave, sah,
An' mebbe wuz wurthy er crown-
But Jim!-Well, Jim's jess de blamedes'
No 'count little nigger in town!"

DANIEL versus DISHCLOTH.-G. A. STEVENS.

We shall now consider the law, as our laws are very considerable both in bulk and number, according as the Statutes declare, considerandi, considerando, considerandum, and are not to be meddled with by those that don't understand them. Law always expresses itself with true grammatical precision; never confounding moods, cases, or genders except, indeed, when a woman happens accidentally to be slain, then the verdict is always brought in manslaughter. The essence of the law is altercation, for the law can altercate, fulminate, deprecate, irritate, and go on at any rate. Now, the quintessence of the law has, according to its name, five parts:-The first, is the beginning or insipiendum; the second, the uncertainty or dubitendum; the third, delay or puzzliendum; fourthly, replication without endum; and fifthly, monstrum and horrendum. All of which are exemplified in the following case:-Daniel against Dishcloth.

Daniel was groom in the same family wherein Dishcloth was cook-maid; and Daniel returning home one day fuddled, he stooped down to take a sop out of the

dripping-pan; Dishcloth pushed him into the drippingpan, which spoiled his clothes, and he was advised to bring his action against the cook-maid, the proceedings of which were as follows. The first person who spoke was Mr. Sergeant Snuffle; he began, saying, "Since I have the honor to be pitched upon to open this cause to your Lordship, I shall not impertinently presume to take up any of your Lordship's time by a round-about circumlocutory manner of speaking or talking, quite foreign to the purpose, and not anywise relating to the matter in hand. I shall, I will, I design to show what damages my client has sustained hereupon, whereupon, and thereupon. Now my Lord, my client being a servant in the same famil with Dishcloth, and not being on board wages, imagined he had a right to the fee-simple of the dripping-pan, therefore he made an attachment on the sop with his right hand, which the defendant replevied with her left hand, tripped us up, and tumbled us into the dripping. pan. Now in Broughton's Reports, Slack, versus Small. wood, it is said, that primus strokus sine jocus, absolutus est provokus; now, who gave the primus strokus? who gave the first offence? Why, the cook; she brought the dripping-pan there; for, my Lord, though we will allow, if we had not been there we could not have been thrown down there; yet, my Lord, if the dripping-pan had not been there, it is decidedly clear we could not have tumbled down into the dripping-pan."

The next counsel, on the same side, began with, "My Lord, he who makes use of many words to no purpose has not much to say for himself, therefore I shall come to the point at once; at once and immediately, I shall come to the point. My client was in liquor-the liquor in him having served an ejectment upon his understanding, common sense was nonsuited, and he was a man beside himself, as Dr. Biblibus declares, in his Dissertation upon Bumpers; in the 139th volume of the Abridgment of the Statutes, pp. 1286, he says that a drunken man is homo