more acceptable to me. Sabbath forenoon I was indifpofed both in body and fpirit, yet had fome help of the Lord. Betwixt fermons I cried for an alteration, and got it, both in body and fpirit; and was helped to express matters of fome difficulty, with that diftinctness, which I was fure I could not have treated of them in private. Hereof I had then had frequent experience, and fince too.

On the morrow, Aug. 7. being to return home, I was comforted by a Chriftian woman, goodwife of Roughlaw, bleffing God that ever fhe faw me, and fhewing that never one had read her cafe, as the Lord had helped me to do, in my fermons first and laft. At parting the put in my pocket about 2 s. Sterling, which I value as a token of Chriftian affection. That night I came to Dunse.

And thus, after all my perplexity, when the matter was brought to the utmost pinch, kind Providence opened an unexpected way for expeding one part of my defign; and removed the other, viz. the going to Galloway, much out of my view. I was, after great straitening, liberally provided, beyond expectation. And the Lord's making my itinerant labours, not unfuccefsful, but ufeful at least to his own, and giving me a large room in their affections, afforded me a fatisfaction, which I thought might be an equivalent of the comfort of a fettlement.

Next day, having heard of nothing done in the affair of Simprin, it was fuggefted to me by one, that Langton minded to fhift it till Michaelmas were paft; fo that night, and the morrow morning, being the 9th, thinking with myfelf that the Lord minded to grant my defire of not fettling in the Merfe, I defired of him he would be pleafed to fhew me how to difpofe of myself next: and the fame day, fome time after that, I was furprised with a vifit of Mr Murray, who continued to defire me to go to Nithfdale. And indeed his coming to me at fuch a nick of time, did feem at firft to be determining: but even while he was with me, came in one from Simprin, fhewing that Langton had moved in the affair, and that it might yet be done in due time; and a little after I found that he had writ to the prefbytery to go on towards my fettlement there. Now my inclination was to go to Nithfdale, and I was racked betwixt the two. That night I thought ferioufly on them, went to God, particularly for light and direction therein; and after, as I was going to bed, I found I durft not as yet leave Simprin. On this occafion

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occafion I obferved the fubtilty of felf in two cafes: 1. I feared my feeking of light proceeded more from felf-love than love to Chrift; 2. That my feeking the very mortification of my idols, difcontent, worldly-mindedness, &c. did likewife proceed from the fame fountain, which might be in regard of the difquiet the want of the one, and having of the other, occafions me. This felfishness I did manifeftly obferve yet I found there was refpect to the command of God in this, and thought it predominated. I thought I fhould have light from the Lord, or I durst not do it, though it should be to my temporal lofs.

On the 10th, having occafionally continued my former request, I found that afternoon my foul content I should fettle in Simprin, if the Lord fhould give me a clear call to it, that being then my exercife, of the iffue whereof I was much afraid. At night I went to the meeting for prayer, found my heart much affected with the fad ftate of my native country the Merfe, in respect of religion, and cried to God for an alteration therein to the better. I defired James Minto, a godly man, and a mighty pleader in prayer, though otherwife of very crdinary abilities, to remember in prayer my fituation, and to plead for light to me ; and my difficulties preffed me forward unto God.

The day following, having gone to prayer for a text, I was, through the blowing of the Spirit on me, brought to a contented frame of heart with refpect to the affair of Simprin. And indeed at what times I was most heavenly in the frame of my fpirit, it was easiest for me to get over thofe things that were ftraitening and difcouraging to me in it, and founded my averfion to it. These were, 1. The rarity of the godly there, and in the country; 2. The very fmallness of their number; 3. The fmallness of the ftipend; moreover, 4. The temper and way of the fraternity, though good men, and feveral of them learned men too, not agreeable to mine; the which fully opened itfelf in the different way that that prefbytery and I took in the year 1712, and ever fince; and, 5. which was the main thing that then stuck with me, The little opportunity to be serviceable there. It indeed bred me fome fcrupling in the matter, that I was not far from thinking I was more useful in my unfettled condition, than I would be if minifter of Simprin. But I thought with myself, if the Lord will fhut me up there, why not? and I feared that

in this there might be fomething of the pride of my heart, and of ignorance of the weight of the minifterial work; and therefore defired to fay, "The will of the Lord be "done." At night having gone to my eldest brother's, and joined with him in his family-worthip, to my great fatisfaction, he came along with me to my chamber, and by our converfe I was led to Pfal. cxix. 96. "I have feen "an end of all perfection," for my text, being to preach in Dunfe the following Lord's day.

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On the 12th I ftudied my fermons on it; and in prayer in the time thereof I got fome fight of the world's vanity, and in prayer after my ftudies, the Lord did blow on me, and I was much concerned for a lafting impreflion of the vanity of the world, and of the weight of the work of the miniftry; the which two things I reckoned would much conduce to the eafing, quieting, and clearing of my mind, with refpect to the affair of Simprin. thought then I had never feen fo great difficulty to get my heart weaned from the world; but it was my foul's defire the Lord himfelf would wean me, being content to part with a carnal worldly mind, if he would rent it from me, and convinced, that it would abide a pull of his hand. After fome time spent in neceffary bufinefs, I betook myfelf to meditate on my fermons that I had ftudied; and while, in my meditations, I was upon that head of them, the vanity of riches, juft then one knocked at my chamber-door, whom opening to, I found to be a man from Simprin, who delivered me a letter with their call. This did fomewhat damp me. The letter was from a committee of the prefbytery, fignifying that the call, being prefented to them, and fuftained legal, they exhorted and invited me to accept thereof; and had appointed me a common head, together with exercife and addition, to be delivered at Churnfide on the 22d. I read alfo the call, and returned it to the bearer, fhewing him, that I would consider of it, attend the prefbytery, and alfo preach at Simprin on the morrow eight days for my own clearing in the matter; charging him to tell the elders, to be ferious with God for light and direction to me therein. After his departure, I went and poured out my foul before the Lord, for the difcovery of his mind concerning it. Afterwards I thought thereon, and found my unwillingness on account of the fmallness of their number: but, in oppofition thereto, a fear of my ignorance of the weight of the

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work of the miniftry, feized me; and it feemed to me I had not been enough humbled for my former levity, but that the Lord faw it neceffary to humble me further for it; and I got my heart contented, and found that the Lord "ftrengthened me with ftrength in my foul," to wait on him, and follow the conduct of his providence. Thereafter I meditated on the rest of my fermons.

Having preached at Dunfe on the Sabbath, I gave myfelf on the Monday to fafting and prayer, to feek of the Lord a right way, in that matter now laid before me; breaking over an averfenefs I found to that exercise ungrateful to the fleth. Three things were fuggefted to me, prompting me to be fo at pains for light in that matter; thinking with myfelf thus. 1. Unlefs I be fure of my call to it from the Lord, how will I stand against the discouragements I will meet with there? 2. How can I think of profiting them, if he fend me not to them? 3. How will i ftand with them before the tribunal of God, if I join with them without a call from himself? Having read Ezra ix. & x. I went to prayer, to prepare my heart for the work; thought a while, and then went to prayer again, and poured out my foul before the Lord. Thereafter I read the written confeffion of fin, which is above mentioned, and then made an additional one, in writing

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Which done, I thought on my fins and heart-monfters, till my foul was more humbled in me. Then bowing my knees before the Lord, I read over the two confeflions aforefaid; poured out my foul before him, making a particular confeffion of my fins, fo far as I could remember them; arraigned and condemned myself, and looked to the Lord, in the promife, for mercy. that, minding to renew the covenant with God, and fubfcribe it with my hand, I drew it up in writing which done, I prayed, the Spirit blowing on me; and I was greatly helped to refolutenefs for Chrift, refolving, if I perithed, I fhould die at his door. Then I examined myfelf, as to my willingness to adhere unto it, and subscribe it, in all the parts thereof, feverally and diftinctly and having found myself willing, I poured out my foul before him in prayer; in which prayer, having fome fuch expreffion as this, O Lord, art thou willing!' that word came to me, "All things are ready, come to the marriage:" to this Amen faid my foul. Rifing up, I wrote down these words in the paper I had drawn, and looking

up to the Lord, I fubfcribed it with my hand. I wrote down there alfo, Jer. xxx. 22. Deut. xxxiii. 27. 2 Cor. xii. 9. That paper is in retentis *. After this, I meditated a while; then i went to prayer for the benefits of the covenant, particularly for that which was the occa fion of this day's exercife: I cried for light, and was laid down at his feet; and came away chearfully and contentedly, my foul faying, "Where thou wilt, Lord; for he "ftrengthened me with ftrength in my foul." Then, thinking on the business, I confidered and put down in writing, that I might the better judge thereof, Firft, Some things. feeming to clear my call to Simprin, as follows: 1. My being caft into this country, where I was exposed to it, and God's clofing up all other doors hitherto.

2. On the 10th of June, Mr Dyfert wrote a letter in my favour to the elders of Simprin, and gave it me to dispatch to them. I took it, but afterwards tore it in pieces (on what occa→ fion, I cannot now find out): yet on July 4. being refolved to leave this country next week, being refolved to go over Forth first, and then to Galloway, I was obliged to go to the prefbytery of Churnfide, to meet with Mr Dyfert, to borrow fome money of him neceffary for my going out of the country: but when I faw him, I could not command fo much confidence as to ask it of him. But the prefbytery took occafion to invite me to preach at Simprin next Lord's day: which I could not but confent to, knowing of no other place I was tryfted to; and this was the first time I ever preached in Simprin. My father went to Mr Dyfert on the morrow for that purpofe; but he could not answer my defires. Thus was I locked in. 3. I have experienced, that I have been moft for complying with it, when I faw moft of the vanity of the world, and had meaneft thoughts of myself. 4. On the 8th of Auguft it was told me, that Langton minded to fhift the bu finefs of Simprin till Michaelmas were over, which would have made the clofing with that call almost impracticable, on account of my particular circumftances: fo that it feemed the Lord had a mind I fhould not fettle in the Merfe. So that night and the morrow morning, thinking the business of Simprin almost over, I defired of the Lord he would fhew me how to difpofe of myself. And

An exact copy of it is annexed to the author's Body of Divinity, printed in 1773.

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