finding I had not time for it and other things too, I broke off; and, to the best of my remembrance, left off lecturing on the Old Teftament.

March 25. The interjections and interrogations being then before me, I spent fome time in prayer for the divine affistance in my ftudies, and fome diftrefs relating to fome in my family and the Lord was found of me, and quickly gave me help' and relief, in all the cafes that then lay upon me.

:

A part of my ftipend coming in about that time, I did on the 30th lay by fifty merks thereof for pious ufes : and all along fince that time, I have kept a private box, making up into it yearly the faid fum of 50 merks; laying it in moftly by parcels, and giving out of it, as occafion requires: and I always keep of it in my left-fide pocket. The dealing to poor at the houfe for their food, continues as formerly, without refpect to this: only what wool is given them in the fummer, fince I have none of my own, is bought out of this fund; out of which alfo our Sabbath's contributions are taken. This courfe I have found to be profitable to the poor, and affording much eafe to myself: for I have thereby been in cafe, to give confiderably on special occafions; and that with more eafe to myself, than otherwife I could have had; always looking on that part of my yearly income as not my own, but the Lord's.

After shutting up the doctrine of repentance, in my ordinary, I did, on Oct. 27. 1717, return to the catechism; beginning at the doctrine of the application of the redemption purchafed by Chrift. And handling these fubjects practically, as well as catechetically, at confiderable length, I proceeded therein until the facrament this year, June 8. at which time I closed my fermons on adoption; only, being just entered on justification, I was by fome incident or incidents led off to Numb. xxxii. 23. Be fure "your fin will find you out;" upon which I dwelt a confiderable time. A third adultery, was about that time, after much pains and toil, difcovered; the adulterer being the fame man who first filled my hands in that kind, viz. the unhappy J. N. now in the parish of Moffat, as he alfo was in the time of this laft of his adulteries in this parish. Moreover a bastard of above alluded to, being at nurfe in R. fiery peats were found lodged in the thatch of the nurfe's houfe, two nights, but ftill difcovered before any hurt was done. There was a great ftir about this,

X X

and

and fearch made: but it remains to this day a hidden work of darkness. I and others vehemently fufpected it to be purely a trick to fcreen the nurfe and her husband from the difpleasure of the father; the having become fcarce of milk, and the child begun to go back. Mean while, it was weighty to me, that the truth of the matter could not be got difcovered. In this cafe, on the fast-day before the facrament, I read to the congregation the paffage relating to the expiation of uncertain murder, Deut. xxi. 1.-9.; and praying, made confeffion in that matter accordingly. And in fencing the table on the Lord's day, I did particularly declare to be debarred, the author or authors, and accomplices, in that vile action: but when the table came to be filled, the fufpected perfon immediately fat down at it. My cafe through the whole communion-day, did very much answer my cafe in the family. faft before it. I had now and then fome remarkable tenderness, but that for the moft part wanting. But a folid concern for the good of fouls, with a deliberate choice of God in Chrift for my God, being left me, I was not difcouraged. In felf-examination I had fome comfortable views of the grace of God in me, particularly of faith and love. At the table, the Lord let me in into a glorious view of the fulness of the Godhead dwelling badily in our bleffed Redeemer, and fo into a view of the fulnefs of the body broken for me, and exhibited to me in the facrament; fo that my foul feeding on Chrift, fed on the glorious attributes and perfections of God.

On the Tuefday after, my helpers Meff. Simfon, Wilfon, and Davidfon, revived the project of publishing the fermons on Man's Fourfold State, and offered to advance moncy for that effect. That matter had been laid afide through the removal of my dear friend Dr Trotter, the firft mover, by death; and Providence feemed about this time to be laying the grave-ftone upon it, by carrying off alfo Thomas Linton in Chapelhop above mentioned, who, having fome time appeared like to fill up Dr Trotter's room in the matter, was now a dying. This motion was furprising. I thought, that, fhould the Lord prosper the work of the accentuation now in hand, that book might profper after the acceptance thereof. But Mr Wilson reprefenting this, as carving out by one's own wisdom, when we were near to part, impreffed me more than any thing that had been faid. For the way of carnal wifdom,

for

for many years, has been always frightful to me: and that difpofition of fpirit, which I was confcious to in myself, afforded me a comfortable reflection with refpect to my ftate.

On Monday the 7th of July I had taken a vomit, on the morrow after, phyfic, and likewife on the Thursday again and that Thurfday's night I was fent for to fee Thomas Linton, fuppofed to be a-dying; which at first view was stunning and confounding, in refpect of my bodily hazard. I had thankfully obferved, and offered my praises, for that, during the time I was under that course, I had got liberty to keep the houfe: but this trial came ere all was done. On the Monday afternoon one came to me, defiring me to go and baptize his child, fuppofed to be a-dying: I, never having administered baptifm in a private houfe without previous intimation to the congregation, refused; and the parent feemed to be much affected with the refusal. This fet me to beg the life of that child. Going to God to feek direction upon the express from Chapelhop, I found I durft not fit the call. So I went away that fame night, owning my all to be at the Mafter's difpofal, in profecuting the miniftry I had received from him; and withal, with a certain fatisfaction in the Lord's laying trials to my hand. I returned on the morrow, without the leaft difcernible harm to myfelf; and the parent came again, fhewing the child to be better, and to be baptized orderly next Lord's day in the church. And here I must remark, that, through the whole courfe of my miniftry, then eighteen years, never a child died without baptifm through my sticking to that principle. Glory to a good God for it.

On Monday, July 14. the faddeft trial of all came. I was awakened that morning, to hear the doleful account of a woman's having murdered herfelf in Etterick-house and while I was making ready to go thither, word came that I behoved to go quickly over to Chapelhop, to fee Thomas Linton a-dying; and on the Sabbath I had been defired to come down on the Monday to fee the goodwife of Andiefhop, who alfo feemed to be going off. So I went off extremely confounded with the difpenfation; beheld the woman lying dead by her own hands, fo far as is known; then I went to Chapelhop, and came about by Andlefhop.

On the Tuesday after, I attempted to spend fome time X X 2

in

in prayer but through confufion and heaviness, that work was marred. On Tuesday the 22d, I fpent fome time in that exercise, embraced the covenant anew, and addreffed the throne of grace, with an eye to the facrament at Maxton, what to preach on to my own people, the cafe of another poor woman under trouble of the fame nature, and for the Lord's determination as to the point of publishing the book on Man's Fourfold State, or not. The Lord was with me in fome measure. I have had much a'do to stand under the thoughts of publishing that book; being toffed betwixt two, namely, the venturing fuch a mean piece into the world, while many whose books I am not worthy to carry, are filent; and the fear of fitting the call of Providence to it. Thus it has lain fo heavy on me, that I have been as toffed on a fea; and fometimes it has almost quite funk my fpirits. And as yet I know not what to do; but defire to wait on the Lord, if he will give me a token of his mind; being confcious to myself of defiring to facrifice my credit to his call fairly laid before me.

Being at the communion in Maxton, Aug. 3. two particular providences were remarkable. 1. Mr Wilson told me, that in his vifiting of the parish before that communion, he had ordinarily that word, Lay your hand to your heart, and halt no more :' and the Lord led me to that text for that occafion, "How long halt ye between

two opinions?" which was countenanced with some influence, efpecially on the Saturday. 2. Having been quite at a lofs what to do as to compliance with the motion for publishing the book aforefaid, and being juft waiting for Providence moving; Mr Wilfon's fifter told him in my hearing, that Mr Robert Wightman, treasurer of the city of Edinburgh, who unknown to me had been addreffed for encouraging it, by Mrs Schiell, his fifter, through Mr Wilfon's means as I think, had faid, he would do nothing in it till fuch time as he fhould fee the MS. So I, being juft waiting for the moving of Providence in the matter, was natively brought to refolve on fending the copy to him.

By the melancholy event of July 14. I was led to preach on Pfal. cxlvii. 11. "The Lord taketh pleasure in them "that fear him, in thofe that hope in his mercy." The which, being begun July 27. was ended Aug. 31. After which I entered on the Saviour's commiffion, If. lxi. 1.

"The

"The fpirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord "hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the "meek, he hath fent me to bind up the broken-hearted, "to proclaim libery to the captives, and the opening of "the prison to them that are bound;" and infifted thereon till Feb. 22. in the year following.

Being again engaged, this winter, in the ftudy of the accentuation, and occupied in writing in my book of materials, I ftuck. Upon which event, and for other caufes, I refolved to spend fome time in prayer. A thankfgiving for the good harveft propofed at the fynod, did not take. It was propofed to me to obferve it however here. But my heart had a fecret averfion to it, and I delayed it, to fee whether the commiffion would appoint one or not. These two laft Sabbaths I waited for word about it; but none came, nor could I hear what they had done. I faw God was angry with me, and hereby teftified his displeafure against my former fubtil averfion to it: I therefore on the 3d of December spent fome time in prayer on these accounts. And the Lord was with me. Examining myself for evidences of grace, I found, 1. I was carried out of all confidence in myself to Jefus Chrift, on whom my foul relied with confidence, finding I have no other plea before the Lord. I was fenfibly brought to this by confeffion; fetting God's mercies to me, and my fins, from my birth, through the feveral periods of my life, childhood, youth, &c. the one over-against the other, in confeflion, before the Lord. 2. My confcience bearing me witnefs, of hating and defpifing all things in comparison of Chrift; being defirous to cleave to him, and the way of duty, over the belly of all fmiles and frowns that would carry me away. 3. A defire of univerfal and perfect holiness, being confcious my hopes are as earnest for fanctification, as for justification, from Jefus Chrift my Lord. What I had most at heart in this exercife, was my ftudy of the accents, the thanksgiving, the cafe of my abfent children, the afflicted in the parith, &c. My daughter Jane about two months ago having gone to Dunfe, I had a special concern on my fpirit for her. And by her letter I was refreshed, both in that it was well with her foul, and my prayers for her have been heard. I faw myfelf much indebted to the divine goodness, in that all my children now appear to have a capacity for learning. I had a fpecial concern on my fpirit this day, for being helped to die to the glory of

God,