EPILOGUE

TO THE

COMEDY OF THE SISTER

What? five long acts-and all to make us wiser?
Our authoress sure has wanted an adviser.

Had she consulted me, she should have made
Her moral play a speaking masquerade;
Warm'd up each bustling scene, and in her rage
Have emptied all the green-room on the stage.
My life on't, this had kept her play from sinking;
Have pleas'd our eyes, and sav'd the pain of thinking.
Well! since she thus has shown her want of skill,

What if I give a masquerade?—I will.

But how? ay, there's the rub! [pausing]—I've got my cue; The world's a masquerade! the masquers, you, you, you.

[To Boxes, Pit, and Gallery.

Lud! what a group the motley scene discloses !

False wits, false wives, false virgins, and false spouses!
Statesmen with bridles on; and, close beside 'em,
Patriots in party-color'd suits that ride 'em.

*[Written by Mrs. Charlotte Lennox, and represented at Covent-Garden Theatre, in Januray 1769. The plot was taken from the authoress's own novel entitled "Henrietta." The audience expressed their disapprobation of it with so much clamor and appearance of prejudice, that she would not suffer an attempt to exhibit it a second time. She published it without either remonstrance or complaint.-See Gent. Mag. vol. xxxix. p. 199.]

"There are but two decent prologues in our tongue-Pope's to CatoJohnson's to Drury Lane. These, with the epilogue to the Distrest Mother, and, I think, one of Goldsmith's, and a prologue of old Colman's to Beaumont and Fletcher's Philaster, are the best things of the kind we have."—LORD BYRON, Works, vol. ii p. 165.]

There Hebes, turn'd of fifty, try once more
To raise a flame in Cupids of threescore:
These in their turn, with appetites as keen,
Deserting fifty, fasten on fifteen.

Miss, not yet full fifteen, with fire uncommon,

Flings down her sampler, and takes up the woman;
The little urchin smiles, and spreads her lure,
And tries to kill, ere she's got power to cure:
Thus 'tis with all-their chief and constant care
Is to seem every thing-but what they are.
Yon broad, bold, angry spark, I fix my eye on,
Who seems t' have robb'd his vizor from the lion;
Who frowns, and talks, and swears, with round parade,
Looking, as who should say, dam'me! who's afraid?

Strip but this vizor off, and sure I am
You'll find his lionship a very lamb.
Yon politician, famous in debate,
Perhaps, to vulgar eyes, bestrides the state;
Yet, when he deigns his real shape t'assume,
He turns old woman, and bestrides a broom.
Yon patriot, too, who presses on your sight,
And seems, to every gazer, all in white,

If with a bribe his candor you attack,

[Mimicking.

He bows, turns round, and whip-the man in black!
Yon critic, too-but whither do I run?

If I proceed, our bard will be undone!

Well then, a truce, since she requests it too:

Do you spare her, and I'll for once spare you.

Had

your senses been right,
You'd have sent before night;
As I hope to be saved,

I put off being shaved;
For I could not make bold,
While the matter was cold,
To meddle in suds,

Or to put on my duds;

So tell Horneck and Nesbitt,

And Baker and his bit,

And Kauffman beside,

And the Jessamy bride,†

With the rest of the crew,

The Reynoldses two,

Little Comedy's face,

And the Captain in lace.§

For the above verses, now first published, the reader is indebted to Major General Sir Henry Bunbury, Bart. They were written about the year 1769, in reply to an invitation to dinner at Sir George Baker's, to meet the Misses Homeck, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Miss Reynolds, Angelica Kauffinan, and others.-See Life, ch. xvii.]

† [Mary Horneck (Mrs. Gwyn).]

[Catherine Horneck, afterwards Mrs. Bunbury.]

§ [Ensign (afterwards General) Horneck.]

(By the bye you may tell him,
I have something to sell him;
Of use I insist,

When he comes to enlist.

Your worships must know
That a few days ago,

An order went out,

For the foot guards so stout
To wear tails in high taste,'
Twelve inches at least ;
Now I've got him a scale
To measure each tail,
To lengthen a short tail,
And a long one to curtail.)-

Yet how can I when vext,
Thus stray from my text?
Tell each other to rue
Your Devonshire crew,

For sending so late
To one of my state.
But 'tis Reynolds's way

From wisdom to stray,

And Angelica's whim

To be frolick like him,

But, alas! your good worships, how could they be wiser, When both have been spoil'd in to-day's Advertiser ?*

[The following is the compliment alluded to:

OLIVER GOLDSMITHL

"While fair Angelica, with matchless grace,
Paints Conway's lovely form and Stanhope's face;
Our hearts to beauty willing homage pay,
We praise, admire, and gaze our souls away.
But when the likeness she hath done for thee,

O Reynolds with astonishment we see,

This tomb, inscrib'd to gentle Parnell's name,
May speak our gratitude but not his fame.
What heart but feels his sweetly moral lay,
That leads to truth through pleasure's flowery way!
Celestial themes confess'd his tuneful aid;
And Heaven, that lent him genius, was repaid.
Needless to him the tribute we bestow,

The transitory breath of fame below:

More lasting rapture from his works shall rise,
While converts thank their poet in the skies

EPILOGUE

ΤΟ

THE GOOD NATURED MAN,

Spoken by Mrs. Bulkley.t

As puffing quacks some caitiff wretch procure
To swear the pill, or drop, has wrought a cure;

Forced to submit, with all our pride we own,

Such strength, such harmony excell'd by none,
And thou art rivall'd by thyself alone."]

[First printed by T. Davies, in "Miscellanies by the Author of the Rambler," and written about the year 1770.]

The author, in expectation of an Epilogue from a friend at Oxford, deferred writing one himself till the very last hour. What is here offered, owes all its success to the graceful manner of the actress who spoke it.