To be thus hated of all, better unborne. I offende none, in so muche that wemen singe this to my great prayse, Omnis Aristippum decuit color, et locus et res. But in all this joylytie one thinge maseth me, The straungest thinge that ever was harde or knowne, Is now happened in this court, by that Damon, Whom Carisophus accused; Damon is now at libertie, For whose returne Pithias his friend lieth in prison, alas, in great jeopardy. To-morrow is the day, which day by noone if Damon returne not cruestly, The kinge hath sworne that Pithias should die, Wherof Pithias hath intelligence very secretly, Wishing that Damon may not returne tyll he have payde His lyfe for his friend. Hath it ben hearetofore ever sayde, That any man for his friend would die so willyngly? O, noble friendship! O, perfect amitie ! Thy force is heare seene, and that very perfectlie. The king himselfe museth heareat, yet is he farre out of square That he trusteth none to come nere him, not his own doughters will he have Unsercht to enter his chamber, which he hath made barbars his beard to shave, Not with knife or rasour, for all edge-tooles hee feares, But with hote burning nutshales they senge of his heares. Was there ever man that lived in such miserye? Well, I wyll go in with a heavye and pensive hart too, To thinke how Pithias, this poore gentleman, tomorrow shall die. [Exit. Here entreth JACKE and WYLL. Jacke. Wyll, by mine honesty, I wyll marre your moncke's face, if you so fondly prate. Wyll. Jacke, by my troth, seeing you are without the courte gate, 53 Even here with a pantacle—I suppose he means to say a pantofle, i. e. a slipper. Perhaps he begins his attack with a kick. S. 54 Geve-gave, 1st edit. 55 His flaske and twiche-box-More properly touch-box. While match-locks, instead of fire-locks, to guns were used; the touch-box, at which the match was lighted, was part of the accoutrement of a soldier. "When she his flask and touch-box set on fire," is the line of an author, whose name I cannot at this time recollect. S. Wyll. In faith, dutting Duttrell, 56 you wyll crye creake. Here cntreth SNAP. Snap. Away, you cracke ropes, are you fighting at the courte-gate? And I take you heare agayne, I will swindge you both, what? [Exit SNAP. Jacke. I beshrew Snap the tipstaffe, that great knave's hart, that hether did come, Had he not ben, you had cryed ere this, Victus, victa, victum: But seing wee have breathed ourselves, if ye list, Let us agree like friends, and shake eche other by the fist. Wyll. Content am I, for I am not malicious; but on this condition, That you talke no more so brode of my master as here you have done. But who have wee heere? is Cober epi 57 comming yonder? Jacke. Wyll, let us slipp aside, and vewe him well. Here entreth GRIMME, the Coliar, whistling. Grimme. What devell iche weene the porters are drunke, wil they not dup the gate to-day? Take in coles for the king's owne mouth, wyll no body stur, I say? Ich might have layne tway howers longer in my bedde, Cha taried so longe here, that my teeth chatter in my heade. Jacke. Wyll, after our fallinge out, wilt thou laugh merily? Will. I mary, Jacke, I pray thee hartely. Jacke. Then folow me, and hemme in a worde now and then. What braulynge knave is there at the courte-gate so early? Wyll. It is some braine-sicke villaine, I durst 58 sir, that cryed so lowde I trow, And bid us take in coles for the kinges mouth even now? Grimme, 'Twas I, indeede. Jacke. Why, sir, how dare you speake such petie treason? Doth the king eate coles at any season?. Grimme. Heere is a gaye world! boyes now settes olde men to scoole. I sayde wel enough; what, Jack sawce, thinkst cham a foole? At bakehouse, butterie-hatch, kitchin, and seller, Grimme. What then! seing without coles thei cannot finely dresse the kinges meat, May I not say, take in coles for the kinges mouth, though coles he do not eate? Jacke. James Christe, came ever from a colier an aunswer so trimme? You are learned, are you not, father Grimme? Grimme. Grimme is my name indeed, cham not learned, and yet the king's colier, This vortie winter cha bin to the king a serviter. Though I be not learned, yet cha mother witte enough whole and some. Wyll. So it seemes; you have so much mother wit, that you lacke your father's wisdome. Grimme. Masse, cham well beset; heres a trimme caste of Murleons;60 What be you, my pretie cockerels, that ask me these questions? Jacke. Good faith, maister Grimme, 6 if such Marlines on your pouch may light, Thei are so quick of winge, that quickly they can carie it out of your sight; And though we are cockerels now, we shall have spurs one day, And shall be able perhaps to make you a capon : But to tell you the trouth, we are the porters men, which, early and late, Wayte on suche gentlemen as you, to open the 56 Duttrell-A dottrell is a silly kind of bird, which imitates the actions of the fowler, till at last he is taken. So, in Butler's Character of a Fantastic, Remains, Vol. II. p. 132. "He alters his gait with the times, and has not a motion of his body that (like a dottrell) he does not borrow from somebody else." 57 Cobex epi-These I suppose to be words corrupted by the ignorance of the transcriber. S. 58 Was it you-It was you, Ist edit. 59 Doo-Doth, 2d edit. A trimme cast of Murleons-i. e. a cast of that species of hawks that were called Merlins. S. He calls them Murleons on account of their size. Merlins were the smallest species of hawks. Turberville says, "These Merlyns are very much like the haggart falcon in plume, in sear of the foote, in beake, and talons. So as there seemeth to be no oddes or difference at al betwixt them, save onely in the bignesse, for she hath like demeanure, like plume, and very like conditions to the falcon, and in hir kind is of like courage, and therefore must be kept as choycely and as daintily as the falcon." The merlin was chiefly used to fly at small birds; and Latham says, it was particularly appropriated to the service of ladies. 61 Maister Grimme-Father Grimme, 2d edit. 售蛋 Grimme. That is but a little, yet it makes thee seeme a great bugge. Jacke. How say you, goodman colier, can you finde any fault here ?62 Grimme. Nay, you shoulde finde faught, mary here's trim geare! Alas, little knave, dost not sweat? thou goest with great payne. These are no hose, but water bougets, I tell thee playne; Good for none but suche as have no buttockes. Dyd you ever see two suche little Robin ruddockes 63 So laden with breeches? chill say no more leste I offende; Who invented these monsters 64 first, did it to a gostly ende, To have a male, readie to put in other folkes stuffe, That spake enough of this; but for my parte, I wyll fetch him his filling ale for his good ser Chwas sturring so early that my very soul is drye: Jacke. This is stoutly done, wyll you have it warmed, father Grimme? Grimme. No, it is warm enough, it is very lousious and trimme; 'Tis musselden 66 ich weene; of fellowship let me have another spurt, Ich can drink as easily now, as if I sate in my shurte. Jacke. By cocke, and you shall have it; but I wyll beginne, and that anone, Je bois a vous mon compagnon. 67 Grimme. J'ai vous pleigé petit Zawne, 68 Jacke. Can you speake Freuch? here is a trimme colier, by this day! Grimme. What man! ich learned this when ich was a souldier, When ich was a lusty fellow, and could yarke a whip trimly, Better then these boy coliers, that come to the courte daily: When there were 69 as now, not so many captious fellowes That would toruppe men for every trifell, I wot not how : As there was one Damon, not longe since taken for a spie, How justly I know not, but he was condemned to die. Wyll. This wine hath warmed him, this comes well to passe, We shall know all now, for in Vino veritas. Father Grimme, who accused this Damon to kinge Dionisius? Grimme. A vengeaunce take him, 'twas a gen tleman, one inaister Crowsphus. Wyll. Crowsphus! you clippe the kinge's language, you would have said Carisophus: But I perceive now, either the winde is at the south, Or els your tounge cleaveth to the roofe of your mouth. Grimme. A murian take thik wine, it so intoxicate my braine, That to be hanged by and by, I cannot speake plaine. Jacke. You speake knavishly playne, scinge my master you doo mocke, In faith ere you go, I will make you a lobbe cocke. 2 Can you finde any fault here?-What fault can you see heere? 2d edit. 63 Robin ruddockes-i. e. Robin redbreasts. Shakspeare uses ruddock for redbreast in Cymbeline. S. Again, Nash's Lenten Stuff, 1599:-"he eftsoons defined unto me, that the red herring was this old tickle cob, or magister fac totum, that brought in the red ruddocks, and the grummel seed as thick as oat meal, and made Yarmouth for Argent to put down the city of Argentine." 64 Monsters-Hose at, 2d edit. 65 Wyl-Well, 1st. edit. 65 'Tis musselden-An intended mistake for muscadine. S. 67 Je bois a vous mon compagnon-Jebit avou mon compagnon. Both 4tos. S. 63 J'ai vous pleigé petil Zawne-Ihar vou pledge, petty Zawne. Both 4tos. I know not what is meant by Zawne. S. 69 Were-Was, 2d edit. DL. I. M Father Grimme, what say they of this Damon | Wherby they fall into a swelling disease, which abrode? Grimme. All men are sorie for him, so helpe me God. They say, a false knave cused him to the king wrongfully, And he is gone, and should be here to-morrow to die, Or els his fellow, which is in prison, his rowme shall supplie: Chil not be his halfe for vortie shillinges, I tell you playne, I thinke Damon be too wise to returne agayne. Wyll. Wyll no man speak for them in this wofull case? Grimme. No, chill warrant you: one maister Stippus is in place, Where he may doo good: but he frames himselfe none, A mery harecoppe 70 'tis, and a pleasant companion, A right courtier, and can provide for one. At this colier's hande hath had a bloe. Yet so provide they, that they have the faire white groates. Ich may say in counsell, though all day I moyle in dourte, Chil not change lives with any in Dionisius' courte: And deeper will fall in, as fame me telles, coliers do not know, 'T'ath a mad name; it is called, ich weene, Cer tum pro cento. Some other in courtes make others laugh merily, When they wayle and lament their owne estate secretly: Friendship is deade in courte, hipocrisie doth raigne, Who is in favour now, to morow is out agayne: The state is so uncertaine, that I, by my wyll, Will never be courtier, but a colier styll. Wyll. It seemeth that coliers have a very? trym life. 71 Grimme. Coliers get money styll: tell me of trouth, Is not that a trim life now, as the world goeth? All day though I toyle with mayne and might, With mony in my pouche I come home mery at night, And sit downe in my chayre by my wyfe, fair Alison, And tourne a crabbe in the fire, as mery as pope John. Jacke. That pope was a merry fellow, of whome folke talke so much. Grimme. H'ad to be merry withal, h’ad goulde enough in his hutch. Jacke. Can goulde make men mery? they say, who can singe so mery a note, As he that is not able to change a grote? Grimme. Who singes in that case, singes never in tune: I know for my part, That a heavy pouch with goulde makes a light harte: Of which I have provided for a deare yeare good store, And these benters, 72 I trowe, shall anone get mee more. Wyll. By serving the courte with coles, you gaynde all this money. Grimme. By the court onely, I assure yee. Jacke. After what sorte, I pray thee tell mee? Grimme. Nay, ther bate an ace, quoth Boulton;73 I can weare a horne, and blow it not. Jacke. By'r ladie, the wiser man. 70 Harecoppe-Coppe, in Chaucer, is used for the top of any thing, and here seems intended to signify the head, or, as the common phrase is, a hare-brained fellow. 71 Very-merie, 2d edit. 72 And these benters-Benne is the French word for a sack to carry coals.-See Cotgrave. He may, however, mean debentures, i. e. notes by which a debt is claimed. Jack mentions debentures afterwards. S. 73 Nay, ther bate an ace, quoth Boulton-Bate me an ace, quoth Boulton, is among the Proverbs published by Mr Ray. That gentleman adds, "Who this Bolton was I know not, neither is it worth enquiring. One of this name might happen to say, Bate me an ace, and, for the coincidence of the first letters of the two words Bate and Bolton, it grew to be a proverb. We have many of the like original; as, v. g. Sup, Simon, &c. Stay, quoth Stringer, &c. There goes a story of Queen Elizabeth, that being presented with a collection of English Proverbs, and told by the author, that it contained all the English Proverbs, nay, replied she, Bate me an ace, quoth Bolton: which Proverb, being instantly looked for, happened to be wanting in his collection." Ray's Proverbs, p. 177. 3 Grimme. Shall I tell you by what slite I got all this money? Then ich weare a noddy indeede; no, no, I warreant ye. Yet in few words I tell you this one thinge, I see now there is no knave like to the olde knave. Grimme. Suche knaves have mony, when courtiers have none. But tell me, is that true that abrode is blowne? Jacke. What is that? | A fine owle's eyes, a mouth lyke an oven. Ah trimme lippes to sweepe a manger! here is a chinne, As soft as the hoofe of an horse. Grimme. Doth the kinge's daughters rube so barde! Jacke. Holde your head straite, man, els all wyll be marde. By'r ladie, you are of good complexion, Grimme. Hath the kinge made those fayre Hould up, father Grimmie.-Wyll, can you be damsels his daughters To become now fine and trimme barbers? Grimme. Good fellowes beleve me, as the case I would geve one sacke of coles to be washt at their hands: If ich came so neare them, for my wyt chould not geve three chippes, If ich could not steale one swap at their lippes. Jack. Wyll, this knave is drunke, let us dresse him, Let us riffell him so, that he have not one pennie to blesse him, And steale away his debenters too. Wyll. Content, invent the way, and I am readie. Jacke. Faith, and I wyll make him a noddie. Father Grimme, if you pray mee wel, 76 I wyll wash you, and shave you too, Even after the same fashion as the kinge's daughters doo : In all poyntes as they handle Dionisius, I wyll dresse you trim and fine. Grimme. Chuld vaine learne that; come on then, chil geve thee a whol pint of wine At taverne for thy labour, when cha mony for my benters heare. [Here WYLL fetcheth a barber's bason, a pot with water, a raysour, and clothes, and a payre of spectacles. Jacke. Come, mine owne father Grimme, sit downe. Grimme. Masse, to beginne withall, heare is a trimme chayre. Jacke. What man, I wyll use you like a prince :sir boy, fetche me my geare. Wyll. Here, syr. Jacke. Holde up, father Grimme. Grimme. Me seeme my head doth swimme. Jacke. My costly perfumes make that.-Away with this, sir boy; be quicke. Aloyse, aloyse, 77 how pretie it is? is not here a good face? Jacke. It scours the better.--Syr boy, geve me my raysour. Wyll. Here at hand, sir. Grimme. Gods aymes! 'tis a chopping knyfe, 'tis no raysour. Jacke. It is a raysour, and that a very good one; It came lately from Palermo, 78 it cost mee twenty crownes alone; Your eyes dassell after your washing, these spectacles put on : Now vew this raysour, tell mee, is it not a good one? Grimme. They be gay barnikels, yet I see never the better. Jacke. Indeede they be a young sight, and that is the matter, But I warrant you, this raysour is very easie. Grimme. Go too then, since you begonne, doo as please ye. Jacke. Holde up, father Grimme. Grimme. O your raysour doth hurt my lippe. Jacke. No, it scrapeth of a pimpell, to ease you of the pippe. I have done now, how say you? are you not well? Grimme. Cham lighter then ich was, the truth to tell. Jacke. Will you singe after your shavinge? Grimme. Mas, content, but chill be polde first or I singe. Jacke. Nay that shall not neede, you are pould neere enough for this time. 76 Pray me wel-In the former edition, Mr Dodsley had altered this to pay mee wel. 17 Aloyse, aloyse-aloue, Fr. is to allow, to approve, to praise. I know of no other word that resem, bles that in the text. Alosed, in Chaucer, is praised. S. 78 It came from Palermo-the 4tos read Pallarrime. The razors of Palermo were anciently famous. They are mentioned in more than one of our old plays, and particularly in The Wounds of Civill War, by Thomas Lodge, 1594, Sign. I 4: "Neighbour, sharpen the edge tole of your wits upon the whetstong of indiscretion, that your wordes may shave like the rasers of Palermo." S, |