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Pet. Eate it vp all Hortensio, if thou louest mee :
Much good do it vnto thy gentle heart :
Kate eate apace ; and now my honie loue,
Will we return vnto thy fathers house,
And reuell it as brauely as the best,
With filken coats and caps, and golden rings,
With ruffes and cuffes, and fardingales, and thinges :
With scarfes and fannes, and double change of brau'ry,
With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knau’ry.
What hast thou din'd? The tailor stayes thy leasure,
To deck thy bodie with his ruffling treasure,
Come tailor, let vs see these ornaments
Lay forth the gowne. What newes with you sir?
Fel. Here is the cap your worship did bespeake.
Pet. Why this was moulded on a porrenger,
A reluet dith : fie, fie, 'tis lewd and filthy,
Why 'tis a cockle or a wallnut-shell,
A knack, a toy, a tricke, a babies cap :
Away with it come let me haue a bigger.
Kate Ile haue no bigger, this doth fit the time,
And gentlewomen weare such caps as these.
Pet. When you are gentle, you shall haue one too And not till then.
Hor. That will not be in halt.
Kate. Why sir I trust I may haue leaue to speak
And speake I will. I am no childe, no babe,
Your betters haue indur'd me say my minde
And if you cannot, best you stop your eares,
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart concealing it will breake,
And rather then it shall, I will be free,
Euen to the vttermost as I please in words.
Pet. Why thou saiest true, it is a paltrie cap,
A custard coffen, a bauble, a silken pie,
I loue thee well in that thou lik'st it not.
Kate. Loue me, or loue me not, I like the cap,
And it I will haue, or I will haue none.
Pet. Thy gotne why I : come tailor let vs fee't.
Oh mercie god, what making fuffe is heere?
Whats this ? a leeue ? 'tis like a demi-cannon,
What, vp and downe caru'd like an apple tart?
Heers snip, and nip, and cut, and Nih and flash,
Like to a censor in a barbers shoppe :
Why what a deuils name a tailor calist thou this?
Hor. I fee shees like to haue neither cap nor gowne.
Tail. You bid me make it orderlie and well,
According to the fashion, and the time.
Pet. Marrie and did : but if you be remembred,
I did not bid you marre it to the time.
Goe hop me ouer euery kennell home,
For you shall hop without my custome fir:
Ile none of it; hence, make your best of it.
Kate. I neuer saw a better fashion'd gowne,
More queint, more pleasing, nor more commendable :
Belike you meane to make a puppet
of me. Pet. Why true, he meanes to make a puppet of thee. Tail. She faies your worship meanes to make a puppet of her.
Pet. Oh monstrous arrogance :
Thou lyest, thou thred, thou thịmble,
'Thou yard three quarters, halfe yard, quarter, naile,
Thou Alea, thou nit, thou winter cricket thou :
Brau'd in mine owne house with a skeine of thred:
Away thou ragge, thou quantitie, thou remnant,
Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard,
As thou shalt thinke on prating whilft thou liu'st :
I tell thee I, that thou hast marr'd her gowne.
Tail. Your worship is deceiu'd, the gowne is made
Iust as my master had direction :
Grumio gave order how it fhould be done.
Gru. I gaue him no order, I gaue him the stuffe.
Tail. But how did you defire it should be made ?
Gru. Marrie sir with needle and thred.
Tail. But did you not request to haue it cut?
Gru. Thou hast fac'd many things.
Tail. I haue.
Gru. Face not mee : thou hast brau'd many men, braue not me; I will neither bee fac'd nor brau’d. I say vnto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gowne, but I did not bid him cut it to pieces; ergo thou lieft.
Tail. Why heere is the note of the fashion to testifie.
Pet. Read it.
Gru. The note lies in's throate if he say I said so.
Tail. Inprimis a loose bodied gowne.
Gru. Mafter, it euer I said loofe-bodied gowne, fow me in the skirts of it, and beate me to death with a bottome of browne thred: I said a gywne.
Tail. With a small compast cape.
Gru. I confesse the cape.
Tail. With a trunke neeue.
Gru. I confesse two Neeues.
Tail. The sleeues curiously cut.
Pet. I there's the villainie.
Gru. Error i’th bill sir, error i’th bill? I commanded the fleeues should be cut out, and sow'd vp againe, and that Ile
proue vpon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.
Tail. This is true that I say, and I had thee in place where, thou shouldst know it.
Gru. I am for thee straight: take thou the bill, giue me thy meate-yard, and spare not me.
Hor. God-a-mercy Grumio, then he shall haue no oddes.
Pet. Well sir in breefe the gowne is not for me.
Gru. You are i'th right sir, 'tis for my mistris. .
Pet. Go take it vp vnto thy masters vse.
Gru. Villaine, not for thy life: take vp my mistresse gowne for thy masters vse.
Pet. Why sir what's your conceit in that?
Gru. Oh fir, the conceit is deeper then you thinke for :
gowne to his masters vse. Oh fie, fie, fie.
Pet. Hortenfio, fay thou wilt see the tailor paide.
Go take it hence, be gone, and say no more.
Hor. Tailor, Ile pay thee for thy gowne to morrow,
Take no vnkindnesle of his hastie words :
Away I say, commend me to thy master.
Pet. Well come my Kate, we will vnto your fathers,
Euen in these honest meanc habiliments :
Our purses shall be proud, our garments poore :
For 'tis the minde that makes the bodie rich.
And as the sunne breakes through the darkest clouds,
So honor peereth in the meanest habit.
What is the iay more precious then the larke ?
Because his feathers are more beautifull.
Or is the adder better then the eele,
Because his painted skin contents the eye.
Oh no Kate : neither art thou the worse
For this poore furniture, and meane array.
If thou accountedft it shame, lay it on me,
And therefore frolike, we will hence forthwith,
To feast and sport vs at thy fathers house,
Go call my men, and let vs straight to him,
And bring our horses vnto Long-lane end,
There will we mount, and thither walke on foote,
Let's see, I thinke 'tis now some feuen a clocke,
And well may we come there by dinner time.
Kate, I dare assure you sir, 'tis almost two,
And 'twill be supper time ere you come there.
Pet. It shall be feuen ere I go to horse :
Looke what I speake, or do, or thinke to doe,
You are still crossing it, sirs let 't alone,
I will not goe to day, and ere I doe,
It shall be what a clock I say it is.
Hor. Why so this gallant will command the funne.
Enter Tranio, and the Pedant drejt like Vincentio.
Tra. Sirs, this is the house, please it you that I call.
Ped. I what else, and but I be deceiued,
Signior Baptifta may remember me
Neere twentie yeares agoe in Genoa.
Tra. Where wee were lodgers, at the Pegasus,
'Tis well, and hold your owne in any case
With such austeritie as longeth to a father.
Ped. I warrant you : but fir here comes your boy,
'Twere good he weere school'd.
Tra. Feare you not him : firra Biondello,
Now doe your dutie throughlie I aduise you :
Imagine 'twere the right Vincentio,
Bion. Tut, feare pot me.