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What will be said, what mockery will it be?
To want the bride-groome when the priest attends
To speake the ceremoniall rites of marriage ?
What saies Lucentio to this shame of ours ?
Kate. No shame but mine : I must forsooth be forst
To giue my hand oppos'd against my heart
Vnto a mad-braine rudesby full of spleene,
Who woo'd in hafte, and meanes to wed at leifure
I told you I, he was a franticke foole,
Hiding his bitter ielts in blunt behauiour,
And to be noted for a merry man ;
Hee'll wooe a thousand, point the day of marriage,
Make friends, innite, and proclaime the banes,
Yet neuer meanes to wed where he hath woo'd:
Now must the world point at poore Katherine,
And say, loe, there is mad Petruchio's wife
If it would please him come and marrie her.
Tra. Patience good Katherine and Baptista too,
Vpon my life Petruchio meanes but well,
What euer fortune stayes him from his word,
Though he be blunt, I knew him passing wise,
Though he be merry, yet withall he's honest.
Kate. Would Katherine had neuer seen though.
Bap. Go girle, I cannot blame thee now to weepe,
For such an iniurie would vexe a verie faint,
Much more a threw of impatient humour.
Enter Biondello. Master, master, newes, and such newes as you neuer heard of
Bap. Is it new and old too ? how may that be?
Bion. Why, is it not newes to heare of Petruchio's com
Bap. Is he come?
Bion. Why no sir?
Bap. What then?
Bion. He is comming.
Bap. When will he be heere?
Bion. When he stands where I am, and sees you there.
Tra. But say, what to thine olde newes?
Bion. Why Petruchio is comming, in a new hat and an olde ierkin, a paire of old breeches thrice turn'd; a paire of bootes that haue been candle-cases, one buckled, another lac'd : an old rusty sword tane out of the towne armory, with a broken hilt, and chapelesse : with two broken points : his horse hip'd with an olde mothy faddle, and stirrops of no kindred : besides poffest with the glanders, and like to mose in the chine, troubled with the lampasse, infected with the fashions, full of windegalls, sped with spauins, raied with the yellowes, past cure of the fiues, starke spoyld with the stage gers, begnawne with the bots, waid in the backe, and shoulder-Thotten, neere leg'd before, and with a halfe-checkt bitte, and a headstall of Meepes leather, which being restrained to keepe him from stumbling, hath been often burst, and now repaired with knots : one girth fixe times peec'd, and a womans crupper of velure which hath two letters for her name, fairely set down in studs, and heere and there peec'd with packthreed.
Bap. Who comes with him?
Bion. Oh sir, his lackey, for all the world caparison'd like the horse : with a linnen stock on one leg, and a kersey boot hose on the other, gartred with a red and blew list; an old hat, and the humor of fourty fancies prickt in't for a feather : a monster, a very monster in apparell, and not like a christian foot-boy, or a gentlemans lacky.
Tra. 'Tis some old humor pricks him to this fashion, yet oftentimes he goes but meane apparel'd.
Bap. I am glad he's come, howsoere he comes.
Bion. Why fir, he comes not.
Bap. Didft thou not fay he comes ?
Bion, Who, that Petruchio came?
Bap. I, that Petruchio came.
Bion. No sir, I say his horse comes with him on his backe.
Bap. Why that's all one.
Bion. Nay by S. lamy, I hold you a penny, a horse and a map is more then one, and yet not many.
Enter Petruchio and Grumio.
Pet. Come where be these gallants? who's at home?
Bap. You are welcome fir.
Pet. And yet I come not well.
Bap. And yet you halt not.
Tra. Not so well apparel'd as I wish you were.
Pet. Were it better I should rush in thus :
But where is Kate? where is my louely bride ?
How does my father? gentles me thinkes you frowne,
And wherefore gaze this goodly company,
As if they saw some wondrous monument,
Some commet, or vausuall prodigie :
Bap. Why fir, you know this is your wedding day:
First were we fad, fearing you would not come,
Now fadder that you come fo vnprouided :
Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate,
An eye-fore to our folemne festiuall.
Tra. And tell vs what occasion of import
Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife,
And sent you hither fo vnlike yourselfe?
Pet. Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to heare,
Sufficeth I am come to keepe my word,
Though in some part inforced to digresse,
Which at more leisure I will so excuse,
As you shall well be satisfied withall.
But where is Kate? I stay too long from her,
The morning weares, 'tis time we were at church.
Tra. See not your bride in these vareuerent robes,
Goe to my chamber, put on clothes of mine.
Pet. Not I, beliene me, thus Ile visit her.
Bap. But thus I trust you will not marrie her.
Petr. Good footh euen thus : therefore ha done with words,
To me she's married not vnto my clothes :
Could I repaire what she will weare in me,
As I can change these poor accoutrements,
'Twere well for Kate, and better for myselfe.
But what a foole am I to chat with you,'
When I should bid good morrow to my bride ?
And seale the title with a louely kisse.
Tra. He hath fome meaning in his mad attire
We will perswade him be it possible,
To put on better ere he go to church.
Bap. Ile after him, and see the event of this. Exit.
Tra. But sir, loue concerneth vs to adde
Her fathers liking, which to bring to passe
As before imparted to your worship,
I am to get a man what ere he be,
It skills not much, weele fit him to our turne,
And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa,
And make assurance heere in Padua
Of greater summes then I haue promised,
So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,
And marrie sweete Bianca with consent.
Luc. Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster
Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly :
'Twere good methinkes to steale our marriage,
Which once perform’d, let all the world say no,
Ile keepe mine owne despite of all the world.
Tra. That by degrees wee meane to looke into,
And watch our vantage in this businesse,
Wee'l ouer-reach the graybeard Gremio,
The narrow prying father Minola,
The quaint musitian, amorous Litio,
All for my masters sake Lucentio.
Signior Gremio, came you from the church ?
Gre. As willingly as ere I came from schoole.
Tra. And is the bride and bridegroom comming home?
Gre. A bridegroome say you ? 'tis a groome indeed,
A grumling groome, and that the girle shall finde.
Tra. Curster then she, why 'tis impossible.
Gre. Why he's a deuill, a deuill, a very fiend.
Tra. Why she's a deuil, a deuill, the deuills damme.
Gre. Tut, she's a lambe, a doue, a foole to him:
Ile tell you sir Lucentio ; when the priest
Should aske if Katherine should be his wife,
I, by goggs woones quoth he, and swore so loud,
That all amaz'd, the priest let fall the booke.
And as he stoop'd againe to take it up,
This mad-brain'd bridegroome tooke him such a cuffe,
That down fell priest and booke, and booke and priest,
Now take them vp quoth he if any lift.
Tra. What said the wench when he rose againe ?
Gre. Trembled and shooke for why he stamp'd and swore, as if the vicar ment to cozen him : but after many ceremonies done, he calls for wine, a health quoth he, as if he had been aboord carowsing to his mates after a storme, quaft off the muscadell, and threw the fops all in the fextons face: hauing VOL. II.