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Dorothy. Can a weake empty vessell beare such a huge full hogshead ? theres a whole marchāts venture of Burdeux stuffe in him, you haue not seene a hulke better stuft in the hold. Come, Ile be friends with thee lacke, thou art going to the wars, and whether I shall euer see thee againe or no there is no body cares.
Dra. Sir, antient Piftol's belowe, and would speake with you,
Dol. Hang him swaggering rascal, let him not come hither it is the foule-mouthd'It rogue in England.
Hoft. If he swagger, let him not come here, no by my faith I must liue among my neighbours, Ile no swaggerers, I am in good name, and fame with the very best: shut the doore, there comes no swaggerers here, I haue not liu'd al this while to haue swaggering now, shut the doore I pray you.
Fal. Dost thou heare hostele?
Hoft. Pray ye pacifie your selfe sir Iohn, there comes no swaggerers here.
Fal. Dost thou heare? it is mine ancient.
Ho. Tilly fally, fir Lohn, nere tel me: and your ancient swaggrer comes not in my doores : I was before maister Tisícke the debuty tother day, and (as he said to me) twas no longer ago than Wedsday last, I good faith, neighbor Quickcly, sayes he, maister Dumbe our minister was by then, neighbor Quickly (faies he) receiue those that are ciuil, for (faide he) you are in an ill name: now a faide so, I can tell whereupon. For (faies he) you are an honest woman, and sell thought on, therefore take heede what ghests you receiue, receiue (saies he) no swaggering companions: there comes none here: you would blese you to heare what he said: no, Ile no swaggrers.
Falst. Hees no swaggrer hostesse, a tame cheter yfaith, you may stroke him as gently as a puppy grey hound, heele noc VOL. II.
swagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turne backe in any shew of resistance, call him vp drawer.
Hoft. Cheter call you him? I will barre no honest man my house, nor no cheter, but I do not loue swagering by my troth, I am the worse when one faies swagger : feele maisters, how I shake, looke you, I warrant you.
Teresb. So you do hostese.
Hojt. Doe I? yea in very trueth doe I, and twere an aspen leate, I cannot abide swaggrers.
· Enter antient Pistol, and Bardolfes boy. Pistol. God saue you fir lohn.
Fal. Welcome ancient Pistoll, heere Pistoll, I charge you with a cuppe of sacke, do you discharge vpon mine hostesse.
Pist. I will discharge vpon her sir Iohn, with two bullets.
Fal. She is pistoll proofe: sir, you shall not hardely offend her.
Hoft. Come, Ile drink no proofes, nor no bullets, lle drink no more than will do me good, for no mans pleasure, I.
Pift. Then, to you mistris Dorothy, I will charge you.
Doro. Charge me? I scorne you, fcuruy companion : what you poore base rascally cheting lacke-linnen mate? away you mouldie rogue, away, I am meate for your maister.
Pift. I know you mistris Dorothy.
Doro. Away you curpurse rascall, you filthy boung, away, by this wine Ile thrust my kaife in your mouldie chappes, and you play the sawcie cuttle with me. Away you bottle ale ralcall, you basket hilt stale iuggler, you. Since when, I pray you fir : Gods light, with two points on your shoulder? much.
Pist. God let me not liue, but I will murther your ruffe for this.
Sir lohn. No more Pistol, I would not have you go off here, discharge your selfe of our company, Piftoll.
Hof. No, good captaine Pistoll, not here, sweete captaine.
Doro. Captain, thou abhominable damnd cheter, art thou not ashamed to be called captaine ? and captaines were of my mind, they would trunchion you out, for taking their names vpon you, before you haue earnd them : you a captaine ? you flaue, for what? for teareing a poore whoores ruffe in a bawdy house: hee a captaine! hang him rogue, he liues vpon mowldy stewd pruins, and dried cakes: a captaine? Gods light these villaines wil make the word as odious as the word occupy, which was an excellent good worde before it was il sorted, therefore captains had neede look too't.
Bard. Pray thee go downe good ancient.
Pijt. Not I, I tell thee what corporall Bardolfe, I could teare her, Ile be reuengde of her.
Boy. Pray thee go downe.
Pift. Ile fee her damnd first, to Plutoes damnd lake by this had to th’infernal deep, with Erebus and tortures vile also: holde hooke and line, say I: downe, downe dogges, downe faters haue we not Hiren here?
Hoft. Good captain Pecfell be quiet, tis very late y faith, I beseeke you now aggrauate your choller.
Pift. These be good humors indeede, shal pack-horses, and hollow pamperd iades of Asia which cannot goe but thirtie mile a day, compare with Cæfars and with Canibals, and Troiant Greekes? nay rather damne ihem with king Cerberus, and let the welkin roare, shall we fall foule for toies?
Hoft. By my troth captaine, these are very bitter words. Bard. Be gone good ancient, this will grow to a brawle
Pift. Men like dogges giue crownes like pins, haue we not Hiren here? LI 2
Hoft. A my word captaine, theres none such here, what the goodyeare do you thinke I would denie her? for Gods fake be quiet.
Pist. Then feed and be fat, my faire Calipolis, come giues some sacke, si fortune me tormente sperato me contento, feare we brode sides? no, let the fiend giue fire, giue me fome facke, and sweet hart, lie thou there, come we to ful points here? and are & cæteraes, no things?
Falt. Pistol, I would be quiet.
Pijt. Sweet knight, I kisse thy neaffe, what, we haue seene the feuen starres.
Dol. For Gods sake thrust him down staires, I cannot indure such a fuftian rascall.
Pift. Thrust him downe staires, know we not Galloway nagges ?
Falft. Quaite him downe Bardolfe like a 'houe-groat Chilling, nay, and a doe nothing but speake nothing, a shall be nothing here.
Bard. Come, get you downe ftaires.
Pist. What shall we haue incision? Mall we imbrew? then death rocke me a sleepe, abridge my dolefull daies : why then let grieuous gastly gaping wounds vntwinde the filters three, come Atropose I say.
Hot. Heres goodly stuffe toward.
Hoft. Heres a goodly tumult, lle forsweare keeping house afore Ile be in these tirrits and frights, fo, murder I warant now, alas, alas, put vp your naked weapons, put vp your naked weapons.
Dol. I pray thee lacke be quiet, the rascal's gone, ah you horson little vliaunt villaine you,
Hot. Are you not hurte i’th groyne? me thought a made a shrewd thrust at your belly.
Fal Haue you turnd him out a doores ?
Bar. Yea fir, the rascal's drunke, you haue hurt him fir i'th shoulder.
Fal. A rascall to braue me?
Dol. A you sweet little rogue you, alas poore ape how thou sweatst, come let me wipe thy face, come on you horfone chops: a rogue, yfaith I loue thee, thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, woorth fiue of Agamemnon, and ten times better then che nine worthies, a villaine!
Fal. Ah rascally saue! I will toile the rogue in a blanket.
Dol. Do and thou darft for thy heart, and thou doft, Ile canuas thee betweene a payre of sheetes.
Boy. The musique is come fir.
Enter muficke. Fal. Let them play, play firs, sit on my knee Doll, a rafcall bragging laue! the rogue fled from me like quicksiluer.
Dol. Yfaith and thou followdst him like a church, thou horson little tydee Bartholemew borepigge, when wilt thou leaue fighting a daies and foyning a nights, and begin to patch vp thine old body for heauen.
Enter prince and Poynes. Fal. Peace good Doll, do not speake like a deathes head, do not bid me remember mine end.
Del. Sirra, what humour's the prince of ?
Fal. A good shallow yong fellow, a would haue made a good pantler, a would a chipt bread wel.
Dol. They say Poines has a good wit.
Fal. He a good wit ? hang him baboon, his wit's as thicke as Tewksbury mustard, theres no more conceit in him then is in a mallet.