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Phang. And I but fist him once, and a come but within
Hoft. I am vndone by his going, I warrant you, hees an infinitiue thing vppon my score, good maister Phang holde him sure, good master Snare let him not scape, a comes continually to Pie corner (auing your manhoods) to buy a faddle, and he is indited to dinner to the lubbers head in Lumbert streete to master Smooths the filk man, I pray you since my exion is entred, and my case fo openly knowne to the worlde, let him be brought in to his answer, a hundred marke is a long one, for a poore lone woman to beare, and I haue borne, and borne, and borne, and haue bin fubd off, and fubd off, and fubd off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on, there is no honesty in such dealing, vnlese a woman should be made an alle, and a beast, to beare ellery knaues wrong: yonder he comes, and that arrant malmfienose knaue Bardolfe with him, do your offices, do your offices master Phāg, and master Snare, do me, do me, do me your offices.
Enter for lohn, and Bardolfe, and the boy.
Falt. Away varlets, draw Bardolfc, cut me off the villaines head, throw the queane in the channell.
Hot. Throw ime in the channell? Ile throw thee in the channell, wilt thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly togue, murder, murder, a thou honisuckle villaine, wilt thou kill Gods officers and the kings? a thou honiseed rogue, thou art a honiseed, a man queller, and a woman queller.
Falt. Keepe them off Bardolfe.
Hoft. Good people bring a reskew or two, thou wot, wot thou, thou wot, wot ta, do do thou rogue, do thou hempfeed.
Boy. Away you scullian, you rampallian, you fustilarian, Ile tickle your catastrophe.
Enter lord chiefe iustice and his men.
Lord. What is the matter? keepe the peace here, ho.
stand to me.
Lord. How now fir lohn, what are you brawling here?
Hoft. O my most worshipful lord, and't please your grace I am a poore widdow of Eastcheape, and he is arrested at my sute.
Lord. For what summe?
Hoft. It is more then for some my lord, it is for al I haue, he hath eaten me out of house and home,' he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his, but I wil haue fome of it out againe, or I wil ride thee a nights like the mare.
Falst. I think I am as like to ride the mare if I haue any vantage of ground to get vp.
Lord. How comes this sirlohn ? what man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation, are you not alhamed to inforce a poore widdow, to so rough a course to come by her owne.
Falt. What is the grosse fumme that I owe thee?
Hoft. Mary if thou wert an honest man, thy felfe and the mony too: thou didft sweare to me vpon a parcell guilt goblet, sitting in my dolphin chamber, at the round table by a sea cole fire, vpon Wednesday in Wheefon weeke, when the prince broke thy head, for liking his father to a singing man of Winsor, thou didst sweare to me thē, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me, and make me my lady thy wife, canft thou deny it, did not goodwife Keech the butchers wife come
Me was gone
in then, and cal me gossip Quickly, comming in to borow a messe of vinegar, telling vs she had a good dish of prawnęs, whereby thou didst desire to eate some, whereby I told thee they were ill for a greene wound, and didst thou not, when
down stayers, desire me, to be no more so familiarity, with such poore people, saying that ere long they should cal me madam, and didst thou not kisse me, and bid me fetch thee thirt:e shillings, I put thee now to thy booke oath, denie it if thou canst.
Falst. My lord this is a poore made soule, and she saies vp and downe the towne, that her eldest fonne is like
she hath bin in good case and the trueth is pouerty hath distracted her, but for these foolish ofñcers, I beseech you I may haue redresse against them.
L. Sir lohn, fir lohn, I am wel acquainted with your maner of wrenching the true cause, the false way: it is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more then impudent fawcines from you, can thrust me from a leuel consideration: you have as it appeares to me practisde vpon the easie yeelding spirite of this woman, and made her fcrue your vses both in purse and in person.
Holt. Yca in truth my lord.
Lo. Pray thee peace, pay her the debt you owe her, and vnpay the villany you haue done with her, the one you may doe with sterling mony, and the other with currant repent.
Falst. My lord I will not vndergoe this snepe without reply, you cal honorable boldnes impudent sawcinesse, if a man wil make curtsie and say nothing, he is vertuous, no my lord my humble duty remembred, I will not bee your suter, I say to you I do desire deliuerance from these officers, being vpon hasty imployment in the kings affayres.
Lord. You speake as hauing power to do wrong, but answer in th'effect of your reputation, and satisfie the poore wo
Falft. Come hither hostesse.
Enter a messenger. Lord. Now master Gower, what newes.
Gower. The king my lord, and Harry prince of Wales,
Hoft. By this heaunly ground I tread on, I must be faine to pawne both my plate, and the tapestry of my dining chambers.
Falst, Glasses glasses is the onely drinking, and for thy wals a pretty Neight drollery, or the storie of the prodigal, or the larman hunting in waterworke, is worth a thousand of these bed-hangers, and these fie bitten tapestrie, let it be x. l. if thou canst: come, and twere not for thy humors, theres not a better wench in England, goe wash thy face and draw the action, come thou must not be in this humor with me, dost not know me, come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.
Hoft. Pray thee fir lohn let it be but twentie nobles, ifaith I am loath to pawne my plate so God faue me law.
Falt. Let it alone, Ile make other shift, youle be a foole stil.
Hoft. Well, you shall haue it, though I pawne my gowne, I hope youle come to supper, youle pay me altogether.
Falst. Wil I liue ? goe with her, with her, hooke on, hooke on.
Exit hoftese and sergeant.
Falst. Whats the newes my lord?
Mej. No, fifteen hundred foot, fiue hundred horse
Falft. Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord ?
Lord. You shall haue letters of me presently,
Falft. My lord.
Falstaffe. Maister Gower, shall I intreate you with mee to dinner?
Gower. I must waite vpon my good lord here, I thank you good sir Ichn.
Lord. Sir Lohn, you loyter heere too long,
Falstaffe. Will you suppe with mee maister Gower ?
Lord. What foolish maister taught you these manners, fir John?
Falsi affe. Maister Gower, if they become me not, hee was a foole that taught them mee: this is the right fencing grace, my lord, tap for tap, and so part faire,
Lord. Now the lord lighten thee, thou art a great foole.
Enter the prince, Poynes, fir Iohn Ruffel, with other. Prince. Before God, I am exceeding weary.
Poynes. Ist come to that? I had thought wearines durft not haue attacht one of fo hie bloud.