« PreviousContinue »
Car. I thinke it be two a clocke.
Gad. I prethee lend me thy lantherne, to see my gelding in the stable.
i Car. Nay by God foft; I know a tricke worth two of that I fayth.
Gad. I prethee lend me thine.
2 Car. I, when, canst tell ? lend me thy lanterne (quoth he) marry Ile see thee hanged first.
Gad. Sirra carrier, what time doe you meane to come to London?
2 Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee. Come neighbour Muges, weele call vp the gentlemen, they will along with company, for they haue great charge.
Gad. What ho, chamberlaine.
Gad. Thats euen as faire, as at hand quoth the chamber. laine, for thou variest no more from picking of purses, then giuing direction doth from laboring: thou layest the plot how.
Cham. Good morrow master Gads-hill, it holds currant that I told you yester night, theres a franklin in the wild of Kent, hath brought three hundred marks with him in gold, I heard him tell it to one of his company last night at supper, a kind of auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, God knowes what; they are vp already, and call for egges and butter : they will away presently.
Gad. Sirra, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas Clarkess Ile giue thee this necke.
Cham. No, Ile none of it; I pray thee keepe that for the hangman, for I know thou worshipelt saint Nicholas, as truly as a man of falsehood may.
· Gad. What talkelt thou to me of the hangman? if I hang, fle make a fat paire of gallowes : for if I hang, old fir Iohn hangs with me, and thou knowes he is no starueling: tut, there are other Troians that thou dream'st not of, the which for sport fake are content to do the profession some grace, that would (if matters should be lookt into) for their owne credit fake, make al whole : I am ioyred with no foot-land rakersy no long-staffe fixpenny strikers, none of these madde mustachio purple hewd malt-worms, but with nobility, and tranquility, burgomasters and great oneyers, such as can hold in such as wil strike sooner the speake, and speak sooner then drinke, and drinke sooner the pray; and yet (zounds) I lie, for they pray continually to their saint the comon-wealth, or rather not pray to her, but prey on her, for they ride vp and downe on her, and make her their bootes.
Cham. What, the common-wealth their bootes ? will shee hold out water in foule way?
Gad. She will, she will, iustice hath liquord her: we steale as in a castle, cocksure; we haue the receit of fernereed, we walke inuisible.
Cham. Nay, by my fayth, I thinke you are more beholding to the night then to ferneseed, for your walking inuisible.
Gad. Give me thy hand, thou shalt haue a share in our pur. chase, as I am a true man.
Gham. Nay, rather let me haue it, as you are a false theefe.
Gad. Go to, homo is a comon name to all men : bid the oftler bring my gelding out of the stable ; farewell ye muddy knaue.
Enter Prince, Poines, and Peto, co. Poines, Come shelter, shelter, I haue remooued Falstaffes horse, and he frets like a gum'd veluet.
Prince. Stand close.
Prince. Peace ye fat-kidneyd rascall, what a brawling dost thou keepe?
Falf. What Poines, Hal ?
Fal. I am accurst to rob in that theeues company, the rascall hath remoued my horse, and tyed him I know not where, if I trauel but foure foote by the squire* further a foote, I shal break my winde: well, I doubt not but to die a faire death for all this, if I scape hanging for killing that rogue, I haue forsworne his company hourely any time this 22. yeare, and yet I am bewitcht with the rogues company. If the rafcall haue not giuen me medicines to make me loue him, Ilę be hangd: it could not be else, I haue drunke medicines, Poines, Hal, a plague vpon you both. Bardoll, Peto, Ile starue ere Ile rob a foote further: and t’were not as good a deed as drinke, to turne true man, and to leaue thele rogues, I am the veriest varlet that euer chewed with a tooth : eight yeardes of vneuen ground, is threescore and ten miles afoot with me: and the stony hearted villaines know it well enough, a plague vpon it when theeues cannot be true one to another.
They whistle. Whew, a plague vpon you all, giue me my horse, you rogues, Giue me my horse, and be hangd.
Prince. Peace ye fat guts, lie downe, lay thine eare close to the ground, and lift if thou can heare the tread of trauellers.
Fal. Haue you any leauers to lift me vp againe being downe? zbloud, Ile not beare mine own flesh so far afoot againe for all the coyne in thy fathers exchequer : what a plague meane ye to colt me thus?
Prince. Thou lyest, thou art not colted, thou art vacolted,
Fal. I prethee good prince Hal, helpe mee to my horse, Good kings sonne.
Prince. Out you rogue, shall I be your oftler ?
Falf. Go hang thy felfe in thine owne haire apparant garters: if I be tane, Ile peach for this: and I haue not ballades made on * all, and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sacke be my poyson: when ieast is so forward, and a foot too, I hate it.
Poin. Otis our setter, I know his voyce: Bardol what newes?
Bar. Case yee, case yee; on with your vizards, ther's mo. ny of the kings comming downe the hill, tis going to the kings exchequer.
Falf. You lie you rogue, tis going to the kings tauerne. · Gad. There's enough to make vs all.
Fall. To be hanged.
Prince. You foure shall front them in the narrow lane : Ned Poines and I, will walke lower; if they scape from your encounter, then they light on vs.
Peto. But how many be they of them?
. Zounds, will they not rob vs ?
Fall. Indeed I am not lohn of Gant our † grandfather, but yet no coward, Hal.
Prince. Well, weele leaue that to the proofe.
Poynes. Sirra lacke, thy horse stands behind the hedge, when thou needest him, there thou shalt finde him : farewell, and stand fast.
Fal. Now cannot I strike him if I should be hangd.
Fals. Now my maisters, happy man be his dole, fay, euery man to his businelle.
Enter the trauellers.
Tra. Come neighbour, the boy shall lead our horses downe the hil, weele walke a foote a while, and ease our leggs.
Theeues. Stay *
Fall. Strike, downe with them, cut the villaines throates : a horeson caterpillars bacon-fed knaues, they hate vs youth, downe with them, fleece them.
Tra. O, we are vndone, both we and ours for euer.
Fals. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are ye vndone? no yee fat chuffes, I would your store were here : on bacons, on, what yee knaues ? young men must liue, you are grand iurers, are yee? weele iure yee yfaith.
Here they rob them and binde them: Enter the Prince and
Prince. The theeues haue bound the true men : now coulde thou and I rob the theeues, and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a weeke, laughter for a month, and a good iest for euer.
Poynes. Stand close, I heare them comming.