"I now underwent various hardships among his play-fellows, and was kicked about, hustled, tossed up, and chucked into holes; which very much battered and impaired me; but I suffered most by the pegging of tops, the marks of which I have borne about me to this day. I was in this state the unwitting cause of rapacity, strife, envy, rancour, malice, and revenge, among the little apes of mankind; and became the object and the nurse of those passions which disgrace human nature, while I appeared only to engage children in innocent pastimes. At length, I was dismissed from their service, by a throw with a barrow-woman for an orange. "From her it is natural to conclude, I posted to the gin-shop; where, indeed, it is probable I should have immediately gone, if her husband, a foot-soldier, had not wrested me from her, at the expense of a bloody nose, black eye, scratched face, and torn regimentals. By him I was carried to the Mall in St. James's Park; where-I am ashamed to tell how I parted from him-Let it suffice that I was soon after safely deposited in a night-cellar. "From hence I got into the coat-pocket of a Blood, and remained there with several of my brethren for some days unnoticed. But one evening, as he was reeling home from the tavern, he jerked a whole handful of us through a sash-window into the dining-room of a tradesman, who he remembered had been so unmannerly to him the day before, as to desire payment of his bill. We reposed in soft ease on a fine Turkey carpet till the next morning, when the maid swept us up; and some of us were allotted to purchase tea, some to buy snuff, and I myself was immediately trucked away at the door for the Sweetheart's Delight. "It is not my design to enumerate every little accident that has befallen me, or to dwell upon trivial and indifferent circumstances, as is the practice of those important egotists, who write narratives, memoirs, and travels. As useless to the community as my single self may appear to be, I have been the instrument of much good and evil in the intercourse of mankind: I have contributed no small sum to the revenues of the crown, by my share in each newspaper; and in the consumption of tobacco, spirituous liquors, and other taxable commodities. If I have encouraged debauchery, or supported extravagance; I have also rewarded the labours of industry, and relieved the necessities of indigence. The poor acknowledge me as their constant friend; and the rich, though they affect to slight me, and treat me with contempt, are often reduced by their follies to distresses which it is even in my power to relieve. "The present exact scrutiny into our constitution has, indeed, very much obstructed and embarrassed my travels; though I could not but rejoice in my condition last Tuesday, as I was debarred having any share in maiming, bruising and destroying, the innocent victims of vulgar barbarity: I was happy in being confined to the mock-encounters with feathers and stuffed leather; a childish sport, rightly calculated to initiate tender minds in arts of cruelty, and prepare them for the exercise of inhumanity on helpless animals! I shall conclude, Sir, with informing you by what means I came to you in the condition you see. A choice spirit, a member of the Kill-Care Club, broke a link-boy's pate with me last night, as a reward for lighting him across the kennel. The lad wasted half his tar-flambeau in looking for me; but I escaped his search, being lodged snugly against a post. This morning a parish girl picked me up, and carried me with raptures to the next baker's shop to purchase a roll. The master, who was church THE BRITISH ESSAYISTS; WITH PREFACES BIOGRAPHICAL, HISTORICAL, AND CRITICAL, BY THE REV. LIONEL THOMAS BERGUER, LATE OF ST. MARY HALL, OXON: FELLOW EXTRAORDINARY OF THE ROYAL MEDICAL SOCIETY OF EDINBURGH. IN FORTY-FIVE VOLUMES. VOL. XXIV. LONDON: PRINTED FOR T. AND J. ALLMAN, PRINCES STREET, HANOVER SQUARE: W. Baynes and Son, Paternoster Row; A. B. Dulau and Co. Soho Square; W. Clarke, New Bond Street; R. Jennings, Poultry; J. Hearne, Strand; R. Triphook, Old Bond Street; Westley and Parrish, Strand; W. Wright, Fleet Street; C. Smith, Strand: H. Mozley, Derby: W. Grapel, and Robinson and Sons, Liverpool: Bell and Bradfute, J. Anderson, jun. and H. S. Baynes and Co. Edinburgh: M. Keene, and J. Cumming, Dublin. |