« PreviousContinue »
family, because she had an unpleasant view from their windows ; with another, because the squirrel leaped wihin two yards of her; and with a third, because she could not bear the noise of the parrot.
Of milliners and mantua-makers she is the pro, verbial torment. She compels them to alter their work, then to unmake it, and contrive it after an. other fashion ; then changes her mind, and likes it better as it was at first ; then will have a small improvement. Thus she proceeds till no profit can recompense the vexation; they at last leave the clothes at her house, and refuse to serve her. Her maid, the only being that can endure her tyranny, professes to take her own course, and hear her mistress talk. Such is the consequence of peevishness; it can be borne only when it is despised.
It sometimes happens that too close an attention to minute exactness, or a too rigorous habit of ex. amining every thing by the standard of perfection, vitiates the temper, rather than improvesthe under. standing, and teaches the mind to discern faults with unhappy penetration. It is incident likewise to men of vigorous imagination to please themselves too much with futurities, and to fret because those expectations are disappointed which should never have been formed. Knowledge and genius are often enemies to quiet, by suggesting ideas of ex. cellence, which men and the performances of men cannot attain. But let no man rąshly determine, that his unwillingness to be pleased is a proof of understanding, unless his superiority appears from less doubtful evidence ; for though peevishness may sometimes justly boast its descent from learning or from wit, it is much oftener of base extrac. tion, the child of vanity and nursling of ignorance.
N° 75. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 4. 1750.
Diligitur nemo, nisi eri Fortuna secunda est,
Puæ, simul intonuit, proxima quæque fugat.
While smiling fortune spreads her golden ray,
MISS A. W.
TO THE RAMBLER.
The diligence with which you endeavour to cultivate the knowledge of nature, manners, and life, will perhaps incline you to pay some regard to the observations of one who has been taught to know mankind by unwelcome information, and whose opinions are the result, not of solitary conjectures, but of practice and experience.
I was born to a large fortune, and bred to the knowledge of those arts which are supposed to accomplish the mind, and adorn the person, of a woman. To these attainments, which custom and education almost forced upon me, I added some vo"luntary acquisitions by the use of books, and the conversation of that species of men whom the ladies generally mention with terror and aversion under the name of scholars, but whom I have found a harmless and inoffensive order of beings, not so much wiser than ourselves, but that they may receiveas well as communicate knowledge, and more inclined to degrade their own character by cowardly submission, than to overbear or oppress us with, their learning or their wit.
From these men, however, if they are by kind treatment encouraged to talk, something may be gained, which, embellished with elegancy and softened by modesty, will always add dignity and value to female conversation ; and from my acquaintance with the bookish part of the world, I derived many principles of judgment and maxims of prudence, by which I was enabled to draw upon myself the general regard in every place of concourse or pleasure. My opinion was the great rule of approbation ; my remarks were remembered by those who desired the second degree of fame; my mien was studied ; my dress was imitated ; my letters were handed from one family to another, and read by those who copied them as sent to themselves ; my visits were solicited as honours ; and multitudes boasted of an intimacy with Melissa, who had only seen me by accident, and whose familiarity had never proceeded beyond the exchange of a compliment, or return of a courtesy.
I shall make no scruple of confessing that I was pleased with this universal veneration, because I always considered it as paid to my intrinsick qualities and inseparable merit, and very easily persuaded myself, that fortune had no part in my superiority.
When I looked upon my glass, I saw youth and beauty, with health that might give me reason to hope their continuance ; when I examined my mind, I found some strength of judgment and fertility of fancy; and was told that every action was grace, and every accent was persuasion.
In this manner my life passed like a continual triumph amidst acclamations, and envy and courtship and caresses : to please Melissa was the general ambition, and every stratagem of artfulfatterywas practised upon me. To be fattered is grateful, even when we know that our praises are not believed by those who pronounce them : for they prove, at least, our power, and shew that our favour is valued, since it is purchased by the meanness of falsehood. But, perhaps, the flatterer is not often detected, for an honest mind is not apt to suspect, and no one exerts the power of discernment with much vigour when self-love favours the deceit.
The number of adorers, and the perpetual distraction of my thoughts by new schemes of pleasure, prevented me from listening to any of those who crowd in multitudes to give girls advice, and kept me unmarried and unengaged to my twenty-seventh year, when as I was towering in all the pride of uncontested excellency, with a face yet little impaired, and a mind hourly improving, the failure of a fund in which my money was placed, reduced me to a frugal competency, which allowed little beyond neatness and independence.
I bore the diminution of my riches without any outrages of sorrow or pusillanimity of dejection, Indeed I did not know how much I had lost, for, having always heard and thought more of my wit and beauty, than of my fortune, it did not suddenly enter my imagination, that Melissa could sink beneath her established rank, while her_form and her mind continued the same ; that she could cease to raise admiration but by ceasing to de. serve it, or feel any stroke but from the hand of time.
It was in my power to have concealed the loss, and to have married, by continuing the same appearance, with all the credit of my original fortune ; but I was not so far sunk in my own esteem, as to submit to the baseness of fraud, or to desire ony other recommendation than sense and virtue. I therefore dismissed my equipage, sold those ornaments which were become unsuitable to my new condition, and appeared among those with whom I used to converse with less glitter, but with equal spirit.
I found myself received at every visit, with sorrow beyond what is naturally felt for calamities in which we have no part, and was entertained with condolence and consolation, so frequently repeated, that my friends plainly consulted, rather their own gratification, than my relief. Some from that time refused my acquaintance, and forbore, without any provocation, to repay my visits ; some visited me, but after a longer interval than usual, and every return was still with more delay ; nor did any of my female acquaintances fail to introduce the mention of my misfortunes, to compare my present and former condition, to tell me how much it must trouble me to want the splendour which I became so well, to look at pleasures which