that they had now an opportunity to clear themfelves with the People, from the Infamy with which their whole Order was charg'd, and yet he was not call'd to the Bar, being before Men of Taste and Judgment, who understood the facred inviolable Right of Liberty of Speech, What a polite, noble, plain bluntnefs, reigns through all thofe Orations? who could take it ill to be corrected in fuch wellchofen Epithets, and well-turn'd Periods?

His Oration on L. Pifo, I think, far exceeds thofe upon Verres; in thofe genuine Flowers of ancient Rhetorick, it is much to be regretted that fome of the firft Sentences are wanting; however it begins bluntly enough. Beaft, don't you fee how the Audience is offended at your impudent Countenance? Then goes on with a Description of his Complexion, Beard, rotten Teeth, brazen Face, Stupidity, Impediment of Speech. The Orator, after having done himself Juftice, and expatiated upon his own extraordinary Merits, tells him, That inftead of Conful, he was the Tomb, the Funeral-Pile of the Common-wealth. Thou Hangman, thou TempleRobber, thou Clod of Earth; from what Brothel did thou come up in Patins (Soleatus) muff'd up, with thy Breath Jmelling of the Stews? It seems the great Subject of Quarrel was, L. Pife having order'd the Senate to leave off their mourning for Tully, when he was in Diftrefs; He tells him, you anfwer'd, For footh, with one Eye-brow turn'd up to your Forehead, and the other deprefs'd to your Chin; that you did not love Cruelty; You did not love Cruelty, you Kennel-raker, you Gibbet-carrier; you a Conful, iffuing out of a dark Cellar with a DancingWench; you forbid the People to mourn for me; could one have any Affiftance from thee, thou Beaft, Lump of rotten Flesh, Block, Trunk, Madam, Fool When thy Colleague's House rung with Riot, and VOL, I, D

Noife, and Dancing, thou waft weltering (like one of the Lapithe) in thy own Spew; fo that no Body could tell whether thou drank, vomited, or fhit most. If I remember right, our Orator, in one of his Philippicks, defcribes much fuch another Evacuation of Anthony in the Forum, tells him how he vomited, where it was a Shame for a Magifter Equitum, Captain-General of the Horfe, to belch. It is much to be regretted, that our Language is neither ftrong nor copious enough, to do Juftice to this excellent Oratory in a Tranflation. I can appeal to all the Matrons in my Neighbourhood, if such Compellations as I have mentioned, are not far beyond our little fneaking Expreffion, The unfortunate Gentleman at the Bar. At the fame Time, I need not be at much Pains to convince my Readers, that thofe who declaim'd in this Stile, understood the Rules of Decorum and true Oratory; and those who fuffer'd these Objurgations, did not want Courage, nor were ignorant of the Rules of Honour.

Anthony in murdering Tully, was cenfur'd by the Romans, rather for being captious, than revengeful; for not understanding common Modes of Behaviour amongst Gentlemen, more than for want of Generofity.

I own, that there is no reconciling moft of This Sort of Altercation, nor the Anger from which it proceeds, with the Chriftian Morals; yet many Presbyters, Bishops, Popes, and fome recorded as Saints, have naturally fallen into it. But a Collection of their Epithets and Compellations would be too Voluminous; and as they are rather in the facred, than political Stile, as Little Devil, Imp of Satan, Curs'd Heretick, &c. abounding with Anathema's, Curfes, and Execrations, they are not fo appofite to my Defign. I fhall only take the Liberty to obferve, That if Gentlemen will not lay

afide this captious, quarrelfome Temper, there will be an abfolute Neceffity of putting the Monopoly of political Altercation in he Hands of fuch of the Clergy whofe Perfons are Sacred, and who are not ty'd down to the ridiculous, corrupt Maxims of Laicks in Gothick Governments. And any Attempts of this Kind are fo far from being blame worthy, that they ought to be highly applauded, as decent, convenient, and charitable.

My next Chapter is spent upon the Usefulness and Neceffity of fuch Altercations in all Governments. Firft, as it allows the People the Means of working off their Paffions in a Way, which is least detrimental to the Common-wealth: The Romans, from their intimate Knowledge of human Nature, were fo fenfible of this, that they allow'd even their Slaves their annual Season of Scolding: It is now by Custom grown to be Sabbatical in Britain; but if the Legislature should think it more proper to confine it to the Month of December and the Christmas Holy-days, according to the Cuftom of ancient Rome, no body could find fault; provided there be care taken of due Evacuations of the poutical Bile, in proper Seasons.

The fame prudential Confiderations induc'd the Romans to allow the Soldiers to fing abufive Ballads upon their General in the Proceffion of his Triumph, which no doubt prevented many a Mutiny. How much did the Soldiers endear themfelves unto Cæfar by celebrating his filthy Amours on that Occafion?

There is fome Footsteps of this polite Custom continue still in our Fleet; for the Seamen have a Priviledge of Railing and Joking on their Officers at the Careening of a Ship, an Objurgation truly Claffical in a double Senfe.

As to Ministers, 'tis only a fmall Tax Power and Riches; a Sort of Memento

D 2

on their

Mori; a

Warning

Warning like the Barking of a Dog before he bites. It was the Saying of a great Man, That there were but few Minifters who had not done fomething for which they defer'd to be bang'd; and I believe, there are hardly any that do not deferve fome claffical Objurgation.

This Altercation contributes exceedingly to the Vigour of the Administration, like the Je-ho to loitering Horfes, that lug along the Wheels of the Government.

'Tis of no lefs Benefit to fuch as Cenfure, than to those that Govern, in preferving their Purity of Manners, because (according to Tully himself) the Title of an Accufer to his Right of Altercation, is founded upon his own Innocence of thofe Crimes which he lays to the Charge of bis Adverfaries.

The Price of the Book in Sheets is Ten Shillings, one half to be paid down; only the Polemical Writers on each Side, fhall have one Copy Gratis; and my Coufin Ginglicutt have two.

Receipts will be deliver'd at Mr. Franklin's, Mr. Roberts's, Mr. Warner's, Mr. Peele's, and at most of the Book and Pamphlet-Sellers in London and Westminster.

A

A LEARNED

DISSERTATION

ON

DUMPLING; Its Dignity, Antiquity, and Excellence. With a Word upon

PUDDING.

AND

Many other Ufeful Discoveries of Great Benefit to the Publick.

Quid Farto melius ?

Huic fuam agnofcit corpus energiam,
Suam aciem mens:

Hine adoleverunt præftantissimi,

Hi Fartophagi in Reipublice commodum.

Mab. de Fartophagis, 7. iii. c. z.