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To answer such a question: Stand again:
Think'st thou to catch my life so pleasantly,
As to prenominate in nice conjecture,
Where thou wilt hit me dead?


I tell thee, yea. ' Hect. Wert thou an oracle to tell me so, I'd not believe thee. Henceforth guard thee well; For I'll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there; But, by the forge that stithied Mars his helm, I'll kill thee every where, yea, o'er and o'er.You wisest Grecians, pardon me this brag, His insolence draws folly from my lips; But I'll endeavour deeds to match these words, Or may I never

Ajax. Do not chafe thee, cousin ;And you, Achilles, let these threats alone, Till accident, or purpose, bring you to't: You may have every day enough of Hector, If you have stomach; the general state, I fear, Can scarce entreat you to be odd with him.

Hect. I pray you, let us see you in the field; We have had pelting wars, since you refus'd The Grecians' cause.

A chil. Dost thou entreat me, Hector? To-morrow, do I meet thee, fell as death; To-night, all friends.


Thy hand upon that match. Agam. First, all you peers of Greece, go to my


There in the full convive we: afterwards,
As Hector's leisure and your bounties shall
Concur together, severally entreat him.—
Beat loud the tabourines, let the trumpets blow,
That this great soldier may his welcome know.
[Exeunt all but Troilus and Ulysses.
Tro. My lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you,
In what place of the field doth Calchas keep?

Ulyss. At Menelaus' tent, most princely Troilus:
There Diomed doth feast with him to-night;
Who neither looks upon the heaven, nor earth,
But gives all gaze and bent of amorous view
On the fair Cressid.


Tro. Shall I, sweet lord, be bound to you so After we part from Agamemnon's tent, To bring me thither?


You shall command me, sir. As gentle tell me, of what honour was This Cressida in Troy? Had she no lover there, That wails her absence?

Tro. O, sir, to such as boasting shew their scars, A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord? She was belov'd, she lov'd; she is, and doth: But, still, sweet love is food for fortune's tooth. [Exeunt.

thy talk: thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.

Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! What's that? Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, raptures, catarrhs, loads o'gravel i'the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, limekilns i'the palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

Patr. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus ?


Achil. How now, thou core of envy? Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news? Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee. Achil. From whence, fragment?

Ther. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy. Patr. Who keeps the tent now?

Ther. The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound. Patr. Well said, Adversity! and what need these tricks?

Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by

Ther. Do I curse thee?

Patr. Why, no, you ruinons butt; you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.

Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleive silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such water-flies; diminutives of


Patr. Out, gall!
Ther. Finch egg!

Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite
From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.
Here is a letter from queen Hecuba;
A token from her daughter, my fair love;
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep
An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it:
Fall, Greeks; fail, fame; honour, or go, or stay;
My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.-
Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent;
This night in banqueting must all be spent.-
Away, Patroclus.

[Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus. Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain, these two aay run mad; but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a carer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon,—an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails; but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: And the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg, to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox, were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care; but to be Menelaus,-I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day!

ACT V. SCENE I.-The Grecian Camp. Before Achilles' spirits and fires!



Achil. I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-
Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow.—
Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.
Patr. Here comes Thersites.


Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong. Ajax.

There, where we see the lights.


Ajax. No, not a whit. Ulyss.

No, yonder 'tis;

I trouble you.

Here comes himself to guide you.

Enter ACHILles.

Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all.

Agam. So, now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night.

Men. Good night, my lord. Hect.

Ajax commands the guard to tend on you. Hect. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks' general.

Good night, sweet Menelaus.

Ther. Sweet draught: Sweet, quoth 'a! sweet sink, sweet sewer.

Achil. Good night,

And welcome, both to those that go, or tarry.
Agam. Good night.

[Exeunt Agamemnon and Menelaus. Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two.

Dio. I cannot, ford; I have important business, The tide whereof is now.-Good night, great Hect. Give me your hand. [Hector. Ulyss. Follow his torch, he goes To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company. (Aside to Troilus.)

Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me.

And so good night. [Exit Diomed; Ulyss, and Tro. following. Achil. Come, come, enter my tent. [Exeunt Achil. Hector, Ajax, and Nest. Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretel it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog him: they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after.-Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets! [Exit.

SCENE II. The same. Before Calchas' Tent.

Dio. What, are you up here, ho? speak.
Cal. [Within.] Who calls?

Dio. Diomed.-Calchas, I think.-Where's your daughter?

Cal. [Within.] She comes to you.

Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them THERSITES.

Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover us.

Tro. Cressid, come forth to him!
How now, my charge?
Cres. Now, my sweet guardian!--Hark! a word
with you. (Whispers.)

Tro. Yea, so familiar!

Ulyss. She will sing any man at first sight.

Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff; she's noted.

Dio. Will you remember? Cres.

Remember?-yes. Dio. Nay, but do then; And let your mind be coupled with your words. Tro. What should she remember? Ulyss. List!

Cres. Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to
Ther. Roguery!

Dio. Nay, then,-
I'll tell you what :-
Dio. Pho! pho! come, tell a pin: You are for-

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Tro. Thy better must.
Hark! one word in your ear.
Tro. O plague and madness!
Ulyss. You are mov'd, prince; let us depart, I
pray you,

Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
To wrathful terms: this place is dangerous;
The time right deadly; I beseech you, go.
Tro. Behold, I pray you!

Now, good my lord, go off":
You flow to great destruction; come, my lord.
Tro. I pr'ythee, stay.

You have not patience; come. Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's I will not speak a word. [torments, Dio. And so, good night. Cres. Nay, but you part in anger. Tro.. Doth that grieve thee?

Why, how now,


O wither'd truth!

By Jove,

I will be patient.


Guardian-why, Greek! Dio. Pho, pho! adieu; you palter. Cres. In faith, I do not; come hither once again. Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something; will You will break out. [you go?

She strokes his cheek!


Ulyss. Come, come. Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word: There is between my will and all offences A guard of patience;-stay a little while.

Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump, and potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!

Dio. But will you then?

Cres. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.
Dio. Give me some token for the surety of it.
Cres. I'll fetch you one.

Ulyss. You have sworn patience. Tro. Fear me not, my lord; I will not be myself, nor have cognition Of what I feel; I am all patience.

Re-enter CRESSIDA.

Ther. Now the pledge; now, now, now!
Cres. Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.
Tro. O beauty! where's thy faith?

My lord,--
Tro. I will be patient; outwardly I will.
Cres. You look upon that sleeve; Behold it well.—
He lov'd me-O false wench!-Giv't me again.
Dio. Who was't?

No matter, now I have't again. I will not meet with you to-morrow night: I pr'ythee, Diomed, visit me no more. Ther. Now she sharpens ;-Well said, whetstone. Dio. I shall have it.


What, this?


Ay, that. Cres. O, all you gods!-O pretty, pretty pledge! Thy master now lies thinking in his bed

Of thee, and me; and sighs, and takes my glove,
And gives memorial dainty kisses to it,
As I kiss thee. Nay, do not snatch it from me;
He, that takes that, must take my heart withal.

Dio. I had your heart before, this follows it.
Tro. I did swear patience.

Cres. You shall not have it, Diomed: 'faith, you shall not; I'll give you something else.

Dio. I will have this; Whose was it?


'Tis no matter. Dio. Come, tell me whose it was. [will. Cres. 'Twas one's that loved me better than you But, now you have it, take it.

Dio. Whose was it Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women yonder, And by herself, I will not tell you whose.

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It is. Why stay we then? Tro. To make a recordation to my soul Of every syllable that here was spoke. But, if I tell how these two did co-act, Shall I not lie in publishing a truth? Sith yet there is a credence in my heart, An esperance so obstinately strong, That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears; As if those organs had deceptious functions, Created only to calumniate. Was Cressid here?

I cannot conjure, Trojan.
Tro. She was not, sure.
Most sure she was.
Tro. Why, my negation hath no taste of madness.
Ulyss. Nor mine, my lord: Cressid was here but


Tro. Let it not be believ'd for womanhood! Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage To stubborn critics-apt, without a theme, For depravation,-to square the general sex By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid. Ulyss. What hath she done, prince, that can soil our mothers?

The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
The fragments, scraps, the bits, and greasy reliques
Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed.
Ulyss. May worthy Troilus be half-attach'd
With that which here his passion doth express?

Tro. Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged well
In characters as red as Mars his heart
Inflam'd with Venus: never did young man fancy
With so eternal and so fix'd a soul.

Tro. Nothing at all, unless that this were she.
Ther. Will he swagger himself out on's own eyes?
Tro. This she? no, this is Diomed's Cressida :
If beauty have a soul, this is not she;
If souls guide vows, if vows be sanctimony,
If sanctimony be the gods' delight,
If there be rule in unity itself;

This was not she. O madness of discourse,
That cause sets up with and against itself!
Bi-fold authority! where reason can revolt
Whithout perdition, and loss assume all reason
Without revolt; this is, and is not, Cressid!
Within my soul there doth commence a fight
Of this strange nature, that a thing inseparate
Divides more wider than the sky and earth;
And yet the spacious breadth of this division
Admits no orifice for a point, as subtle
As is Arachne's broken woof, to enter.
Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates;
Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven:
Instance, O instance! strong as heaven itself;
The bonds of heaven are slipp'd, dissolv'd, and

And with another knot, five-finger tied,

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Farewell, revolted fair!-and, Diomed,
Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head!
Ulyss. I'll bring you to the gates.
Tro. Accept distracted thanks.

[Exeunt Troilus, Æneas, and Ulysses. Ther. 'Would, I could meet that rogue Diomed! I would croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode. Patroclus will give me any thing for the intelligence of this whore: the parrot will not do more for an almond, than he for a commodious drab. Lechery, lechery; still wars and lechery; nothing else holds fashion: A burning devil take them. [Exit. SCENE III.-Troy. Before Priam's Palace. Enter HECTOR and ANDROMACHE.

And. When was my lord so much ungently temTo stop his ears against admonishment? Unarm, unarm, and do not fight to-day.


Hect. You train me to offend you; get you in; By all the everlasting gods, I'll go. And. My dreams will, sure, prove ominous to the day. Hect. No more, I say.



Where is my brother Hector? And. Here, sister; arm'd, and bloody in intent: Consort with me in loud and dear petition, Pursue we him on knees; for I have dream'd Of bloody turbulence, and this whole night Hath nothing been but shapes and forms of Cas. O, it is true. [slaughter. Hect. Ho! bid my trumpet sound! Cas. No notes of sally, for the heavens, sweet brother.

Hect. Begone, I say: the gods have heard me


Cas. The gods are deaf to hot and peevish vows; They are polluted offerings, more abhorr'd Than spotted livers in the sacrifice.

And. O! be persuaded: Do not count it holy To hurt by being just it is as lawful, For we would give much, to use violent thefts, And rob in the behalf of charity.

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Cas. It is the purpose, that makes strong the | Hark, how Troy roars! how Hecuba cries out!

How poor Andromache shrills her dolors forth!
Behold, destruction, frenzy, and amazement,
Like witless antics, one another meet,

And all cry-Hector! Hector's dead! O, Hector!
Tro. Away!-Away!-

Cas. Farewell.-Yet, soft: Hector, I take my

Thou dost thyself and all our Troy deceive. [Exit.
Hect. You are amaz'd, my liege, at her exclaim:
Go in, and cheer the town: we'll forth, and fight;
Do deeds worth praise, and tell you them at night.
Pri. Farewell: the gods with safety stand about


Bat vows, to every purpose, must not hold :
Unarm, sweet Hector.


Hold you still, I say;
Mine honour keeps the weather of my fate:
Life every man holds dear; but the dear man
Holds honour far more precious-dear than life.-

How now, young man? mean'st thou to fight to-day?
And. Cassandra, call my father to persuade.
[Exit Cassandra.

Hect. No, 'faith, young Troilus; doff thy har-
ness, youth,

I am to-day i'the vein of chivalry:
Let grow thy sinews till their knots be strong,
And tempt not yet the brushes of the war.
Unarm thee, go; and doubt thou not, brave boy,
I'll stand, to-day, for thee, and me, and Troy.

Tro. Brother, you have a vice of mercy in you,
Which better fits a lion, than a man.

Hect. What vice is that, good Troilus? chide
me for it.

Tro. When many times the captive Grecians fall,
Even in the fan and wind of your fair sword,
You bid them rise, and live.

Fool's play, by heaven, Hector.

Hect. O, 'tis fair play.
Hect. How now? how now?
For the love of all the gods,
Let's leave the hermit pity with our mother;
And when we have our armours buckled on,
The venom'd vengeance ride upon our swords;
Spur them to ruthful work, rein them from ruth.
Hect. Fy, savage, fy!
Hector, then 'tis wars.
Hect. Troilus, I would not have you fight to-day.
Tro. Who should withhold me?

Not fate, obedience, nor the hand of Mars
Beckoning with fiery truncheon my retire;
Not Priamus and Hecuba on knees,

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Eneas is a-field;
And I do stand engag'd to many Greeks,
Even in the faith of valour, to appear
This morning to them.


But thou shalt not go.
Hect. I must not break my faith.
You know me dutiful; therefore, dear sir,
Let me not shame respect; but give me leave
To take that course by your consent and voice,
Which you do here forbid me, royal Priam.

Cas. O Priam, yield not to him.
Do not, dear father.
Hect. Andromache, I am offended with you:
Upon the love you bear me, get you in.
[Exit Andromache.
Tro. This foolish, dreaming, superstitious girl
Makes all these bodements.

O farewell, dear Hector,
Look, how thoa diest! look, how thy eye turns pale!
Look, how thy wounds do bleed at many vents!

[Exeunt severally Priam and Hector. Alarums.

Tro. They are at it; hark! Proud Diomed, believe,

I come to lose my arm, or win my sleeve.

As Troilus is going out, enter, from the other side,

Pan. Do you hear, my lord? do you hear?
Tro. What now?

Pan. Here's a letter from yon' poor girl.
Tro. Let me read.

Pan. A whoreson ptisick, a whoreson rascally ptisick so troubles me, and the foolish fortune of this girl; and what one thing, what another, that I shall leave you one o'these days: And I have a rheum in mine eyes too; and such an ache in my bones, that, unless a man were cursed, I cannot tell what to think on't.-What says she there?

Tro. Words, words, mere words, no matter from the heart; (Tearing the letter.) The effect doth operate another way.Go, wind, to wind, there turn and change together.My love with words and errors still she feeds; But edifies another with her deeds.


[Exeunt severally. SCENE IV. Between Troy and the Grecian Camp. Alarums: Excursions. Enter THERSITES.

Ther. Now they are clapper-clawing one another; I'll go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's sleeve of Troy there, in his helm: I would fain see them meet; that that same Trojan ass, that loves the whore there, might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain, with the sleeve, back to the dissembling luxurious drab, on a sleeveless errand. O' the other side, the policy of those crafty swearing rascals,-that stale old mouseeaten dry cheese, Nestor; and that same dog-fox, Ulysses, is not proved worth a blackberry:-They set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of as bad a kind, Achilles and now is the cur Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm to-day; whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion. Soft! here come sleeve, aud t'other.

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Hect. I do believe thee ;-live. [Exit. Ther. God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me; But a plague break thy neck, for frightening me! What's become of the wenching rogues? I think, they have swallowed one another: I would laugh at that miracle. Yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself. I'll seek them. [Exit.

SCENE V.-The same.

Enter DIOMEDES and a Servant.

Dio. Go, go, my servant, take thou Troilus' horse;
Present the fair steed to my lady Cressid:
Fellow, commend my service to her beauty;
Tell her, I have chastis'd the amorous Trojan,
And am her knight by proof.


I go, my lord.

Agam. Renew, renew! The fierce Polydamus
Hath beat down Menon: bastard Margarelon
Hath Doreus prisoner ;

And stands colossus-wise, waving his beam,
Upon the pashed corses of the kings
Epistrophus and Cedius: Polixenes is slain;
Amphimachus, and Thoas, deadly hurt;
Patroclus ta'en, or slain; and Palamedes
Sore hurt and bruis'd: the dreadful Sagittary
Appals our numbers; haste we, Diomed,
To reinforcement, or we perish all.



Nes. Go, bear Patroclus' body to Achilles;
And bid the snail-pac'd Ajax arm for slame.-
There is a thousand Hectors in the field:
Now here he fights on Galathe his horse,
And there lacks work; anon, he's there afoot,
And there they fly, or die, like scaled sculls
Before the belching whale; then is he yonder,
And there the strawy Greeks, ripe for his edge,
Fall down before him, like the mower's swath:
Here, there, and every where, be leaves, and

Dexterity so obeying appetite,
That what he will, he does; and does so much,
That proof is call'd impossibility.

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Enter one in sumptuous armour.

Hect. Stand, stand, thou Greek; thou art a
goodly mark:-

No? wilt thou not ?-I like thy armour well;
I'll frush it, and unlock the rivets all,


But I'll be master of it:-Wilt thou not, beast,
Why then, fly on, I'll hunt thee for thy hide.

SCENE VII.-The same.

Enter ACHILLES, with Myrmidons.

Achil. Come here about me, you my Myrmidons:
Mark what I say.-Attend me where I wheel :
Strike not a stroke, but keep yourselves in breath;
And when I have the bloody Hector found,
Empale him with your weapons round about;
In fellest manner execute your arms.
Follow me, sirs, and my proceedings eye :-
It is decreed-Hector the great must die.


SCENE VIII.-The same.
Enter MENELAUS and PARIS, fighting: then

Ther. The cuckold, and the cuckold-maker are at it: bull! now, dog! 'Loo, Paris, 'loo! now my double-henned sparrow! 'loo, Paris, 'loo! The bull has the game:-'ware horns, ho! [Exeunt Paris and Menelaus. Enter MARGARELON.

Mar. Turn, slave, and fight.
Ther. What art thou?

Mar. A bastard son of Priam's.

Ther. I am a bastard too; I love bastards: I am a bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in

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