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To answer such a question: Stand again:
I tell thee, yea. ' Hect. Wert thou an oracle to tell me so, I'd not believe thee. Henceforth guard thee well; For I'll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there; But, by the forge that stithied Mars his helm, I'll kill thee every where, yea, o'er and o'er.You wisest Grecians, pardon me this brag, His insolence draws folly from my lips; But I'll endeavour deeds to match these words, Or may I never
Ajax. Do not chafe thee, cousin ;And you, Achilles, let these threats alone, Till accident, or purpose, bring you to't: You may have every day enough of Hector, If you have stomach; the general state, I fear, Can scarce entreat you to be odd with him.
Hect. I pray you, let us see you in the field; We have had pelting wars, since you refus'd The Grecians' cause.
A chil. Dost thou entreat me, Hector? To-morrow, do I meet thee, fell as death; To-night, all friends.
Thy hand upon that match. Agam. First, all you peers of Greece, go to my
There in the full convive we: afterwards,
Ulyss. At Menelaus' tent, most princely Troilus:
Tro. Shall I, sweet lord, be bound to you so After we part from Agamemnon's tent, To bring me thither?
You shall command me, sir. As gentle tell me, of what honour was This Cressida in Troy? Had she no lover there, That wails her absence?
Tro. O, sir, to such as boasting shew their scars, A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord? She was belov'd, she lov'd; she is, and doth: But, still, sweet love is food for fortune's tooth. [Exeunt.
thy talk: thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.
Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! What's that? Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, raptures, catarrhs, loads o'gravel i'the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, limekilns i'the palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!
Patr. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus ?
Achil. How now, thou core of envy? Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news? Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee. Achil. From whence, fragment?
Ther. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy. Patr. Who keeps the tent now?
Ther. The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound. Patr. Well said, Adversity! and what need these tricks?
Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by
Ther. Do I curse thee?
Patr. Why, no, you ruinons butt; you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.
Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleive silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such water-flies; diminutives of
Patr. Out, gall!
Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite
[Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus. Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain, these two aay run mad; but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a carer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon,—an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails; but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: And the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg, to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox, were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care; but to be Menelaus,-I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day!
ACT V. SCENE I.-The Grecian Camp. Before Achilles' spirits and fires!
Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.
Achil. I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-
Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, MENELAUS, and DIOMED, with lights.
Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong. Ajax.
There, where we see the lights.
Ajax. No, not a whit. Ulyss.
No, yonder 'tis;
I trouble you.
Here comes himself to guide you.
Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all.
Agam. So, now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night.
Men. Good night, my lord. Hect.
Ajax commands the guard to tend on you. Hect. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks' general.
Good night, sweet Menelaus.
Ther. Sweet draught: Sweet, quoth 'a! sweet sink, sweet sewer.
Achil. Good night,
And welcome, both to those that go, or tarry.
[Exeunt Agamemnon and Menelaus. Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two.
Dio. I cannot, ford; I have important business, The tide whereof is now.-Good night, great Hect. Give me your hand. [Hector. Ulyss. Follow his torch, he goes To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company. (Aside to Troilus.)
Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me.
And so good night. [Exit Diomed; Ulyss, and Tro. following. Achil. Come, come, enter my tent. [Exeunt Achil. Hector, Ajax, and Nest. Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretel it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog him: they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after.-Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets! [Exit.
SCENE II. The same. Before Calchas' Tent.
Dio. What, are you up here, ho? speak.
Dio. Diomed.-Calchas, I think.-Where's your daughter?
Cal. [Within.] She comes to you.
Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them THERSITES.
Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover us.
Tro. Cressid, come forth to him!
Tro. Yea, so familiar!
Ulyss. She will sing any man at first sight.
Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff; she's noted.
Dio. Will you remember? Cres.
Remember?-yes. Dio. Nay, but do then; And let your mind be coupled with your words. Tro. What should she remember? Ulyss. List!
Cres. Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to
Dio. Nay, then,-
Tro. Thy better must.
Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
Now, good my lord, go off":
You have not patience; come. Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's I will not speak a word. [torments, Dio. And so, good night. Cres. Nay, but you part in anger. Tro.. Doth that grieve thee?
Why, how now,
O wither'd truth!
I will be patient.
Guardian-why, Greek! Dio. Pho, pho! adieu; you palter. Cres. In faith, I do not; come hither once again. Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something; will You will break out. [you go?
She strokes his cheek!
Ulyss. Come, come. Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word: There is between my will and all offences A guard of patience;-stay a little while.
Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump, and potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!
Dio. But will you then?
Cres. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.
Ulyss. You have sworn patience. Tro. Fear me not, my lord; I will not be myself, nor have cognition Of what I feel; I am all patience.
Ther. Now the pledge; now, now, now!
No matter, now I have't again. I will not meet with you to-morrow night: I pr'ythee, Diomed, visit me no more. Ther. Now she sharpens ;-Well said, whetstone. Dio. I shall have it.
Ay, that. Cres. O, all you gods!-O pretty, pretty pledge! Thy master now lies thinking in his bed
Of thee, and me; and sighs, and takes my glove,
Dio. I had your heart before, this follows it.
Cres. You shall not have it, Diomed: 'faith, you shall not; I'll give you something else.
Dio. I will have this; Whose was it?
'Tis no matter. Dio. Come, tell me whose it was. [will. Cres. 'Twas one's that loved me better than you But, now you have it, take it.
Dio. Whose was it Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women yonder, And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
It is. Why stay we then? Tro. To make a recordation to my soul Of every syllable that here was spoke. But, if I tell how these two did co-act, Shall I not lie in publishing a truth? Sith yet there is a credence in my heart, An esperance so obstinately strong, That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears; As if those organs had deceptious functions, Created only to calumniate. Was Cressid here?
Tro. Let it not be believ'd for womanhood! Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage To stubborn critics-apt, without a theme, For depravation,-to square the general sex By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid. Ulyss. What hath she done, prince, that can soil our mothers?
The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
Tro. Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged well
Tro. Nothing at all, unless that this were she.
This was not she. O madness of discourse,
Farewell, revolted fair!-and, Diomed,
[Exeunt Troilus, Æneas, and Ulysses. Ther. 'Would, I could meet that rogue Diomed! I would croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode. Patroclus will give me any thing for the intelligence of this whore: the parrot will not do more for an almond, than he for a commodious drab. Lechery, lechery; still wars and lechery; nothing else holds fashion: A burning devil take them. [Exit. SCENE III.-Troy. Before Priam's Palace. Enter HECTOR and ANDROMACHE.
And. When was my lord so much ungently temTo stop his ears against admonishment? Unarm, unarm, and do not fight to-day.
Hect. You train me to offend you; get you in; By all the everlasting gods, I'll go. And. My dreams will, sure, prove ominous to the day. Hect. No more, I say.
Where is my brother Hector? And. Here, sister; arm'd, and bloody in intent: Consort with me in loud and dear petition, Pursue we him on knees; for I have dream'd Of bloody turbulence, and this whole night Hath nothing been but shapes and forms of Cas. O, it is true. [slaughter. Hect. Ho! bid my trumpet sound! Cas. No notes of sally, for the heavens, sweet brother.
Hect. Begone, I say: the gods have heard me
Cas. The gods are deaf to hot and peevish vows; They are polluted offerings, more abhorr'd Than spotted livers in the sacrifice.
And. O! be persuaded: Do not count it holy To hurt by being just it is as lawful, For we would give much, to use violent thefts, And rob in the behalf of charity.
Cas. It is the purpose, that makes strong the | Hark, how Troy roars! how Hecuba cries out!
How poor Andromache shrills her dolors forth!
And all cry-Hector! Hector's dead! O, Hector!
Cas. Farewell.-Yet, soft: Hector, I take my
Thou dost thyself and all our Troy deceive. [Exit.
Bat vows, to every purpose, must not hold :
Hold you still, I say;
How now, young man? mean'st thou to fight to-day?
Hect. No, 'faith, young Troilus; doff thy har-
I am to-day i'the vein of chivalry:
Tro. Brother, you have a vice of mercy in you,
Hect. What vice is that, good Troilus? chide
Tro. When many times the captive Grecians fall,
Fool's play, by heaven, Hector.
Hect. O, 'tis fair play.
Not fate, obedience, nor the hand of Mars
But thou shalt not go.
Cas. O Priam, yield not to him.
[Exeunt severally Priam and Hector. Alarums.
Tro. They are at it; hark! Proud Diomed, believe,
I come to lose my arm, or win my sleeve.
As Troilus is going out, enter, from the other side,
Pan. Do you hear, my lord? do you hear?
Pan. Here's a letter from yon' poor girl.
Pan. A whoreson ptisick, a whoreson rascally ptisick so troubles me, and the foolish fortune of this girl; and what one thing, what another, that I shall leave you one o'these days: And I have a rheum in mine eyes too; and such an ache in my bones, that, unless a man were cursed, I cannot tell what to think on't.-What says she there?
Tro. Words, words, mere words, no matter from the heart; (Tearing the letter.) The effect doth operate another way.Go, wind, to wind, there turn and change together.My love with words and errors still she feeds; But edifies another with her deeds.
[Exeunt severally. SCENE IV. Between Troy and the Grecian Camp. Alarums: Excursions. Enter THERSITES.
Ther. Now they are clapper-clawing one another; I'll go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's sleeve of Troy there, in his helm: I would fain see them meet; that that same Trojan ass, that loves the whore there, might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain, with the sleeve, back to the dissembling luxurious drab, on a sleeveless errand. O' the other side, the policy of those crafty swearing rascals,-that stale old mouseeaten dry cheese, Nestor; and that same dog-fox, Ulysses, is not proved worth a blackberry:-They set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of as bad a kind, Achilles and now is the cur Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm to-day; whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion. Soft! here come sleeve, aud t'other.
Hect. I do believe thee ;-live. [Exit. Ther. God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me; But a plague break thy neck, for frightening me! What's become of the wenching rogues? I think, they have swallowed one another: I would laugh at that miracle. Yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself. I'll seek them. [Exit.
SCENE V.-The same.
Enter DIOMEDES and a Servant.
Dio. Go, go, my servant, take thou Troilus' horse;
I go, my lord.
Agam. Renew, renew! The fierce Polydamus
And stands colossus-wise, waving his beam,
Nes. Go, bear Patroclus' body to Achilles;
Dexterity so obeying appetite,
Enter one in sumptuous armour.
Hect. Stand, stand, thou Greek; thou art a
No? wilt thou not ?-I like thy armour well;
But I'll be master of it:-Wilt thou not, beast,
SCENE VII.-The same.
Enter ACHILLES, with Myrmidons.
Achil. Come here about me, you my Myrmidons:
SCENE VIII.-The same.
Ther. The cuckold, and the cuckold-maker are at it: bull! now, dog! 'Loo, Paris, 'loo! now my double-henned sparrow! 'loo, Paris, 'loo! The bull has the game:-'ware horns, ho! [Exeunt Paris and Menelaus. Enter MARGARELON.
Mar. Turn, slave, and fight.
Mar. A bastard son of Priam's.
Ther. I am a bastard too; I love bastards: I am a bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in