And though disordered in retreat,
Each of them stoutly kept his seat:
For quitting both their swords and reins, 840 They grasped with all their strength the manes; And, to avoid the foe's pursuit,
With spurring put their cattle to 't,
And till all four were out of wind,
And danger too, ne'er looked behind.
845 After they 'ad paused a while, supplying
Their spirits, spent with fight and flying,
And Hudibras recruited force
Of lungs, for action or discourse;
Quoth he, "That man is sure to lose 850 That fouls his hands with dirty foes: For where no honour's to be gained, 'Tis thrown away in being maintained: 'Twas ill for us, we had to do
With so dishon'rable a foe:
855 For though the law of arms doth bar
The use of venomed shot in war,
Yet by the nauseous smell, and noisome,
Their case-shot savour strong of poison;
And, doubtless, have been chewed with teeth
860 of some that had a stinking breath;
Else when we put it to the push,
They had not given us such a brush:
But as those poltroons that fling, dirt
Do but defile, but cannot hurt;
865 So all the honour they have won,
Or we have lost, is much at one.
'Twas well we made so resolute
A brave retreat, without pursuit ;
For if we had not, we had sped
870 Much worse, to be in triumph led;
Than which the ancients held no state
Of man's life more unfortunate.
But if this bold adventure e'er
Do chance to reach the widow's ear, 875 It may, being destined to assert
Her sex's honour, reach her heart:
And as such homely treats, they say,
Portend good fortune, so this may.
Vespasian being daubed with dirt,
880 Was destined to the empire for 't;
And from a scavenger did come
To be a mighty prince in Rome :
And why may not this foul address
Presage in love the same success?
885 Then let us straight, to cleanse our wounds, Advance in quest of nearest ponds;
And after, as we first designed,
Swear I've performed what she enjoined.'
The knight, with various doubts possessed,
To win the lady goes in quest
Of Sidrophel the Rosicrucian,
To know destinies' resolution;
With whom being met, they both chop logic
About the science astrologic;
Till falling from dispute to fight,
The conjurer's worsted by the knight.
OUBTLESS the pleasure is as great
Of being cheated, as to cheat;
As lookers-on feel most delight,
That least perceive a juggler's sleight,
And still the less they understand,
The more th' admire his sleight of hand.
Some with a noise, and greasy light,
Are snapped, as men catch larks by night,
Ensnared and hampered by the soul,
As nooses by the legs catch fowl.
Some, with a medicine, and receipt,
Are drawn to nibble at the bait;
And though it be a two-foot trout,
'Tis with a single hair pulled out.
Others believe no voice t'an organ
So sweet as lawyer's in his bar-gown,
Until, with subtle cobweb-cheats,
They're catched in knotted law, like nets;
In which, when they are once imbrangled,
20 The more they stir, the more they're tangled ;`
And while their purses can dispute,
There's no end of th' immortal suit.
Others still gape t' anticipate
The cabinet designs of fate, 25 Apply to wizards, to foresee
What shall, and what shall never be ;
And as those vultures do forebode,
Believe events prove bad or good:
A flam more senseless than the roguery
30 Of old aruspicy and augury,
That out of garbages of cattle
Presaged th' events of truce or battle;
From flight of birds, or chickens pecking,
Success of great'st attempts would reckon :
35 Though cheats, yet more intelligible
Than those that with the stars do fribble.
This Hudibras by proof found true,
As in due time and place we'll shew;
For he, with beard and face made clean,
40 Being mounted on his steed again-
And Ralpho got a cock-horse too,
Upon his beast, with much ado-
Advanced on for the widow's house,
T'acquit himself, and pay his vows;
45 When various thoughts began to bustle,
And with his inward man to justle.
He thought what danger might accrue,
If she should find he swore untrue;
Or if his squire or he should fail,
50 And not be punctual in their tale,
It might at once the ruin prove
Both of his honour, faith, and love:
But if he should forbear to go,
She might conclude he 'ad broke his vow;
55 And that he durst not now, for shame,
Appear in court to try his claim.
This was the pen'worth of his thought,
To pass time, and uneasy trot.
Quoth he, In all my past adventures 60 I ne'er was set so on the tenters, Or taken tardy with dilemma, That every way I turn does hem me, And with inextricable doubt,
Besets my puzzled wits about:
For though the dame has been my bail, To free me from enchanted jail,
Yet, as a dog, committed close
For some offence, by chance breaks loose,
And quits his clog; but all in vain,
70 He still draws after him his chain :
So though my ankle she has quitted,
My heart continues still committed;
And like a bailed and mainprized lover,
Although at large, I am bound over:
And when I shall appear in court
To plead my cause, and answer for 't,
Unless the judge do partial prove,
What will become of me and love,
For if in our account we vary,
80 Or but in circumstance miscarry ;
Or if she put me to strict proof,
And make me pull my doublet off,
To shew, by evident recòrd,
Writ on my skin, I've kept my word,
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