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Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid for such store,
them welcome hither. When one is one too many ? Go, get thee from Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that the door.
we cannot get in.. Dro. E. What patch is made our porter ? My Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your master stays in the street.
garments were thin. Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, Your cake here is warm within ; you stand here lest be catch cold on's feet.
in the cold: Ant. E. Who talks within there ? ho, open the It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so door.
bought and sold. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break you'll tell me wherefore.
ope the gate. Ant. E. Wherefore ? for my dinner ; I have Dro. S. Break any breaking here, and I'll not din'd to-day.
break your knave's pate. Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, again, when you may.
sir: and words are but wind; Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not from the house I owe?
behind. Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my Dro. S. It seems, thou wantest breaking: out name is Dromio.
upon thee, hind! Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine Dro. Ē. Here's too much, out upon thee! I office and my name;
pray thee, let me in. The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle Dro. S. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place,
fish have no fin Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, Ant. E. Well, I'll break in ; go borrow me a
or thy name for an ass. Luce. [within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, Dro. E. A crow without a feather; master, who are those at the gate ?
mean you so? Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.
For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a Luce. Faith, no; he comes too late ;
feather; And so tell your master.
If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow Dro. E. O Lord, I must laugh :
together Have at you with a proverb. --Shall I set in my Ant. E. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron
staff? Luce. Have at you with another: that's,- Bal. Have patience, sir; 0, let it not be so ; When ? can you tell ?
Herein you war against your reputation, Dro. S. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, And draw within the compass of suspect thou hast answer'd him well.
The unviolated honour of your wife. Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion ? you'll let Once this,—your long experience of her wisdom, us in, I hope?
Her sober virtue, years, and modesty, Luce. I thought to have ask'd you.
Plead on her part some cause to you unknown; Dro. S. And you said, no.
And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse Dro. E. So,,come, help; well struck; there Why at this time the doors are made against you. was blow for blow.
Be rul'd by me; depart in patience, Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.
And let us to the Tiger all to dinner : Luce. Can you tell for whose sake ?
And, about evening, come yourself alone, Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard. To know the reason of this strange restraint. Luce. Let him knock till it ache,
If by strong hand you offer to break in, Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat Now in the stirring passage of the day, the door down.
A vulgar comment will be made on it; Luce. What needs all this, and a pair of stocks And that supposed by the common rout in the town?
Against your yet ungalled estimation, Adr. [within.]. Who is that at the door, that That may with foul intrusion entor in, keeps all this noise ?
And dwell upon your grave wben you are dead: Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled For slander lives upon succession; with unruly boys.
For ever hous'd, where it once gets possession. Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have Ant. E. You have prevail'd; I will depart in come before.
quiet, Adr. Your wife, sir krave! go, get you from And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry. the door.
I know a wench of excellent discourse, — Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle :plknave would go sore.
There will we dine: this woman that I mean, Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; My wife (but, I protest, without desert), we would fain have either.
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal ; Bal. In debating which was best, we shall To her will we to dinner. Get yon home, part with neither,
And fetch the chain; by this, I know, 'uis made:
SCENE II. THE SAME.
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine;
And, in that glorious supposition, think For there's the house; that chain will I bestow He gains by death, that hath such means to die : (Be it for nothing but to spite my wife,
Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink ! Upon mine hostess there : good sir, make haste: Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reasou so? Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me, Ant. S. Not mad, but mated; how, I do not I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me.
know. Ang. I'll meet you at that place, some hour
Luc. It is a fault, that springeth from your eye. hence.
Ant. S. For gazing on your beams, fair sun, Ant. E. Do 80: this jest shall cost me some being by. expense.
[exeunt. Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will
clear your sight. Enter Luciana, and Antipholus of Syracuse. Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as look
Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot on night. A husband's office ? shall, Antipholus, hate, Luc. Why call you me love? call my sister 30. Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot? Ant. S. Thy sister's sister. Shall love, in building, grow so ruinate ?
Luc. That's my sister. If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
Ant. S. No; Then, for her wealth's sake, use her with more It is thyself, mine own self's better part; kindness :
Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart; Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth ; My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim, Muhile your false love with some show of My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim. blindness,
Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be. Let not my sister read it in your eye;
Ant. S. Call thyself sister, sweet, for I aim thee: Be not thy tongue tby own shame's orator ; .
Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life; Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty ; Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife: Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger :
Give me thy hand.
I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. [exit Luc. Be secret-false : what need she be acquainted ? Enter, from the house of Antipholus of Ephesus, What simple thief brags of his own attaint ?
Dromio of Syracuse. Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed, Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where And let her read it in thy looks at board:
run'st thou so fast? Shame bath a bastard fame, well managed •
Dro. S. Do you know me, sir ? am I Dromio? Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word. am I your man? am I myself? Alas, poor women! make us but believe,
Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, Being compact of credit, that you love us; thou art thyself. Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve ; Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man,
We in your motion turn, and you may move us. and besides myself. Then, gentle brother, get you in again;
Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife: thyself? 'Tis holy sport to be a little vain,
Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife. to a woman ; one that claims me, one that haunts Ant. S. Sweet mistress (what your name is me, one that will have me. else, I know not,
Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine), Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you show lay to your horse ; and she would have me as a not,
beast : not that, I being a beast, she would have Than our earth's wonder ; more than earth me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, divine.
lays claim to me. l'each me, dear creature, how to think and speak; Ant. S. What is she? Lay open to my earthly gross conceit,
Dro. S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, as a man may not speak of, without he way, sir.
The folded meaning of your words’ deceit. reverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and Against my soul's pure truth why labour you, yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.
To make it wander in an unknown field; Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat'marriage ? Are you a god ? would you create '
me new? Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, Trausform me then, and to your power I'll yield. and all grease ; and I know not what use to put, But if that I am I, then well I'know,
her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from Your weeping sister is no wife of mine. her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and Nor to her bed no homage do' I owe;
the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter : Far more, far more, to you do I decline. if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn 'a week O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note, longer than the whole world.
To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears ; Ant. S. What complexion is Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote :
Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden bairs, nothing like so 'clean kept; for why? she sweats, Aud as a bed l'll take thee, and there lie; a man may go over shoes in the grime of ito
is shie of?
Ant. S. That's a fault, tnat water will mend. And if the wind blow any way from shore,
Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain ; Noah's flood I will not harbour in this town to-night. could not do it.
If any bark put forth, come to the mart, Ant. S. What's her name?
Where I will walk till thou return to me. Dro. S. Nell, sir ;-but her name and three If every one knows us, and we know none, quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will 'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone. not measure her from hip hip.
Dro. S. As from a bear a man would run fo: Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth ?
life, Dro. S. No longer from head to fout, than | So fly I from her, that would be my wife. [exit. from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I Ant. S. There's none but witches do inhabit could find out countries in her.
here; Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland ? And therefore, 'tis high time that I were hence.
Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found | She that doth call me husband, even my soul it out by the bogs.
Doth for a wife abhor: but her fair sister, Ant. S. Where Scotland ?
Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace, Dio. S. I found it by the barrenness; haril, Of such enchanting presence and discourse, in the palm of the hand.
IIath almost made me traitor to myself: Ant. S. Where France ?
But, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong, Dro. S. In her forehead; armned and reverted, I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song. making war against her hair.
Enter Angelo. Ant. S. Where England ?
Ang. Master Antipholus? Dro. S. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I Ant. S. Ay, that's my name. could find no whiteness in them: but I guess, it Ang. I know it well, sir : Lo, here is the chains: stood in her chin, by the salt rheuin that ran be- I thought to have ta’en you at the Porcupine : tween France and it.
The chain untinish'd made me stay thus long. Ant. S. Where Spain ?
dnt. S. What is your will, that I shall do Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot
[it for you. in her breath.
Ang. What please yourself, sir; I have inade Ant. S. Where America, the Indies ?
Ant. S. Made it for me, sir? I bespoke it not. Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embel- Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times jished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who Go home with it, and please your wife withal; sent whole armadas of carracks, to be ballast at And soon at supper-time I'll visit you, her nose,
And then receive my money for the chain. Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands ? Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now,
Dro. S. 0, sir, I did not look so low. To For fear you ne'er sce chain, nor money, more. conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to Ang. You are a merry man, sir; fare you well. me; called me Dromio ; swore, I was assured to
[exit. her; told me what privy marks I had about me, Ant. S. What I should think of this, I cannot: as the mark on my shoulder, the mole on my peck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amaz- But this I think, there's no man is so vain, ed, ran from her as a witch : and, I think, if my | That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain. breast had not been made of faith, and my heart I see a man here needs not live by shifts, of steel, she had transformed me to a curtail-dog, When in the streets he meets such golden gifts. and made me turn i'the wheel.
[road; I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay; Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the If any ship put out, then straight away.,
[exito ACT IV.
Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's, house, Enter a Merchant, Angelo, and an Officer. Mer. You know, since Pentecost the sum is due, Aud buy a rope's end ; that will I bestow And since, I have not much impórtun'd you. Among my wife and her confederates, Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
For locking me out of my doors by day.To Persin, and want gilders for my voyage : But soft, I see the goldsmith :-get thee gone; Therefore make present satisfaction,
Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me, Or I'll attach you by this officer.
Dro. E. I buy a thousand pound a-year! I Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, buy a rope !
(exit Dronio, Is growing to me by Antipholus :
Ant. E. A man is well holp up, that trusts to And, in the instant that I met with you,
I promised your presence, and the chain; (you: He had of me a chain ; at five o'clock,
But neither chain, nor goldsmith, came to me. I shall receive the money for the same:
Belike, you thought our love would last too long, Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house, If it were chain'd together; and therefore came I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.
[nole, Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, and Dromio of Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the Ephesus.
(comes. How much your chain weighs to the utmost Cf. That labour may you save : see where h. carrat ;
SCENE I. THE SAME.
The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion Ang. Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephecus Which doth amount to three odd ducats more To your notorious shame, I doubt it not. Than I stand debted to this gentleman;
Enter Dromio of Syracuse. I pray you, see bim presently discharg'd,
Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidamnom For be is bound to sea, and stays but for it. That stays but till her owner comes aboard, Ant. E. I am not furnish'd with the present And then, sir, bears away; our fraughtage, sir, money
I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought Besides, I have some business in the town : The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitæ, Good signior, take the stranger to my house, The ship is in her trim; the merry wind And with you take the chain, and bid my wife Blows fair from land : they stay for nought at al) Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof;
But for their owner, master, and yourself. Perchance, I will be there as soon as you.
Ant. E. How now! a madman? Why, thou Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her peevish sheep, yourself?
What ship of Epidamnum stays for me? Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage. time enough.
Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a Ang. Well, sir, I will : have you the chain
rope; about you?
And told thec to what purpose, and what end. Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you have; Dro. S. You sent me, sir, for a l'ope's end ae Or else you may return without your money. You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark. [soon: Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more chain :
leisure, Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman, And teach your ears to listen with more heed. And I, to blame, have held him bere too long. To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight: Ant. E. Good lord, you use this dalliance to Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk
That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry, Your breach of promise to the Porcupine:
There a purse of ducats ; let her send it I should have chid you for not bringing it, Tell her, I am arrested in the street, But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl. And that shall bail me : bie thee, slave; bc gone. Mer. The hour steals on: I pray you, sir, On, officer to prison, till it come. despatch.
(exeunt Mer. Ang. Off. and Ant. E. Ang. You hear, how he importunes me; the Dro. S. To Adriana ! that is where we din'd, Ant. E. Why, give it to my wife, and fetch Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband :, your money.
[even now; She is too big, I hope, for me to compass. Ang. Come, come, you know, I gave it you Thither I must, although against my will, Either send the chain, or send by me some token. For servants must their masters' minds ful6l. Ant. E. Fie! now you run this humour out of
[eat. breath :
(see it. Come, where's the chain? I pray you, let me
Enter Adriana and Luciana.
Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer Look'd he red, or pale; or sad, or merrily?
Adr. He meant, he did me none; the more iny Ant. E. You gave me none; you wrong me
(here. much to say so.
Luc. Then swore he, that he was a stranger Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it: Adr. And true he swore, though yet forsworo Consider, how it stands upon my credit.
he were. Mer. Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.
Luc. Then pleaded I for you. Of. I do; and charge you, in the duke's name, Adr. And what said he ?
[me. to obey me.
Luc. That love, I begg'd for you, he begg'd of Ang. This touches me in reputation :
Adr. With what persuasion did he tempt thy Either consent to pay this sum for me,
(more. Or I attach you by this officer.
Luc. With words, that in an honest suit might Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had ! First, he did praise my beauty; then, my speeche Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st.
Adr. Didst speak him fair? Any. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer ;- Luc. Have patience, I beseech. I would not spare my brother in this casc,
Adr. I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still; If he should scorn me so apparently.
My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his OAI do arrest you, sir; you hear the suit. He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
(will. Ant. E. I do obey thee, till I give thee bail :- Ill-fac'd, worse-bodied, shapeless every where ; Put, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; As all the metal in your shop will answer. Stigmatical in making, worse in miud.
SCENE II. THE SAME.
Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one? Some tender money to me, some invite rie; No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone.
Some other give me thanks for kindnesses ; Adr. Ah! but I think him better than I say, Some offer me commodities to buy:
And yet would herein others' eyes were worse : Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop, Far from her nest the lapwing cries away;
And show'd me silks that he had bought for rre, My beart prays for him, though my tongue do And, therewithal, took measure of my body,
Sure, these are but imaginary wiles,
And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
Enter Dromio of Syracuse. now, make haste.
Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath?
for : what, have you got the picture of Old Adam Dro. S. By running fast.
new apparellid ? Adr. Where is thy master Dromio? is he well? Ant. S. What gold is this? what Adain dust Dro. S. No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than thou mean? hell.
Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, A devil in an everlasting garment hath him, but that Adam, that keeps the prison : he, that One, whose hard heart is button'd up with steel; goes in the calf's-skin, that was killed for the proA fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough;
digal; he, that came behind you, sir, like an evil A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff; angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one, that Ant. S. I understand thee not. countermands
Dro. S. No? why, 'tis plain case : he that The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands; went like a base viol, in a case of leather ; tho A hound, that runs counter, and yet draws dry- man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives foot well;
(to hell. them a fob, and 'rests them: he, sir, that One that, before the judgement carries poor souls takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits Adr. Why, man, what is the matter?
of durance; he, that sets up bis rest to do more Dro. S. I do not know the matter: he is exploits with his mace, than a morris-pike. 'rested on the case.
[suit. Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer ? Adr. What, is he arrested ? tell me, at whose Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he, Dro. S. I know not at whose suit his arrested, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks bis well;
(can I tell : band: one, that thinks a man always going to bed, But he's in a suit of buff, which 'rested him, that and says, “ God give you good rest!". Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. money in the desk ?
Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be Adr. Go fetch it, sister. - This I wonder at,
(erit Luciana. Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an That he, unknown to me, should be in debt :- hour since, that the bark, Expedition, put forth Tell me, was he arrested on a band ?
to-night; and then were you hindered by the serDro. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing: geant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: here are the A chain, a chain ; do you not hear it ring? angels that you sent for, to deliver you. Adr. What, the chain ?
Ant. s. The fellow is distract, and so am I; Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time, that I were And here we wander in illusions ; gone.
(strikes one. Some blessed power deliver us from hence ! It was two ere I left him, and now the clock
Enter a Courtezan. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear. Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. Dro. S. O yes, if any hour meet a sergeant, a' I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now :
turns back for very fear. (thou reason! Is that the chain you promis'd me to-day? (not ! Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt mo Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan? katso" more than he's worth, to season.
Ant. S. It is the devil. Prindi Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say, Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's : That time comes stealing on by night and day? dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light If he be in debt, and theft, and a sergeant in the way, weuch; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day? God damn mc, that's as much as to say, God "Re-enter Luciana.
make me a light wench. It is written, they apAdr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it pear to men like angels of light: light is an effect straight;
of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches And bring thy master home immediately. - will burn; come not near her. Come, sister ; I am press'd down with conceit; Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, Conceit, my comfort, and my injury. (exeunt. sir. Will you go with me? we'l mend our disse
ner here. Enter Antipholus of Syracuse.
Dro. S. Master, if you do, expect spuon-meat, Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth or bespeak a long spoon. 0 salute me
Ant. S. Why, Dromio? as if I were their well-acquainted friend;
Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, had every one doth call me by my name.
that must eat with the devil.