Clar. She has waited on us From all our cradles; will prate sometimes oddly, Enter MOROSA, and SECCO, with his apron on, carrying a bason of water, scissars, comb, towels, razor, &c. Sec. Chuck, duckling, honey, mouse, monkey, all and every thing, I am thine ever and only; will never offend again, as I hope to shave clean, and get honour by it: heartily I ask forgiveness; be gracious to thine own flesh and blood, and kiss me home. Mor. Look you provoke us no more; for this time you shall find mercy.-Was 't that hedgehog set thy brains a-crowing? be quits with him; but do not hurt the great male-baby. Sec. Enough; I am wise, and will be merry.Haste, beauties; the caroches will sudden receive you: a night of pleasure is toward, pray for good husbands a-piece, that may trim you featly, dainty ones, and let me alone to trim them. Mor. Loving hearts, be quick as soon as ye can, time runs apace; what you must do, do nimbly, and give your minds to't. Young bloods stand fumbling! fie, away; be ready, for shame, before hand. Husband, stand to thy tackling, husband, like a man of mettle :-go, go, go! [Exit with the ladies. Sec. [Aloud.] Will ye come away, loiterers? shall I wait all day? am I at livery d'ye think? Enter SPADONE ready to be trimmed, and Spa. Here, and ready; what a mouthing thou keepest! I have but scoured my hands, and curried my head to save time. Honest Secco! neat Secco! precious barbarian! now thou lookest like a worshipful tooth-drawer; would I might see thee on horseback, in the pomp, once. 2 Sec. A chair, a chair! quick, quick! Nit. Here's a chair, a chair-politic, my fine boy; sit thee down in triumph, and rise one of the Nine Worthies! thou'lt be a sweet youth anon, sirrah. Spa. (Sits down.) So; to work with a grace now. I cannot but highly be in love with the fashion of gentry, which is never complete till the snip snap of dexterity hath mowed off the excrements of slovenry. Sec. Very commodiously delivered, I protest. 2 Would I might see thee on horseback, in the pomp once.] That is, I suppose, in the procession of the city "companies of trades and callings," as a barber-surgeon. The chair-politic mentioned in the next line was, not improbably, the "engine" introduced in the Broken Heart, vol. i. p. 348; at least, it appears to have prevented Spadone from using his arms. Nit, Nay, the thing under your fingers is a whelp of the wits, I can assure you. Spa. I a whelp of the wits? no, no, I cannot bark impudently and ignorantly enough. Oh, an a man of this art had now and then sovereignty over fair ladies, you would tickle their upper and their lower lips, you'd so smouch and belaver their chops! Sec. We light on some offices for ladies too, as occasion serves. Nit. Yes; frizzle or powder their hair, plane their eye-brows, set a nap on their cheeks,' keep secrets, and tell news; that's all. Sec. Wink fast with both your eyes: the ingredients to the composition of this ball are most odorous camphire, pure soap of Venice, oil of sweet almonds, with the spirit of alum; they will search and smart shrewdly, if you keep not the shop windows of your head close. [SPA. shuts his eyes, while SEC. besmears the whole of his face. Spa. News! well remembered; that's part of your trade too;-prithee do not rub so roughlyand how goes the tattle o' the town? what novelties stirring, ha? Sec. Strange, and scarce to be credited. A gelding was lately seen to leap an old mare; and an old man of one hundred and twelve stood in a 3 Set a nap on their checks,] i. e. give a freshness and bloom to them by the application of the usual cosmetics. See vol. i. p. 405. white sheet for getting a wench of fifteen with child, here hard by:* most admirable and portentous ! Spa. I'll never believe it; 'tis impossible. Nit. Most certain: some doctor-farriers are of opinion that the mare may cast a foal, which the master of their hall concludes, in spite of all jockies and their familiars, will carry every race before him, without spur or switch. Spa. Oh rare! a man might venture ten or twenty to one safely then, and never be in danger of the cheat:-this water, methinks, is none of the sweetest; camphire and soap of Venice, say ye? Sec. With a little Græcum album for mundification. Nit. Græcum album is a kind of white perfumed powder, which plain country people, I believe, call dog-musk. Spa. Dog-musk! pox o'the dog-musk !-what! dost mean to bleach my nose, thou giv'st such twitches to't? Set me at liberty as soon as thou canst, gentle Secco. Sec. Only pare off a little superfluous down from your chin, and all's done. When he was Here seems to be an allusion to Old Parr. presented to Charles I. that monarch said to him, You have lived much longer than other men, what have you done more remarkable?""Please your majesty," replied the hoary profligate, "I did penance in a white sheet, for a bastard, when I was above a hundred years old." The king sternly rebuked the ill-advised old man, and dismissed him from his presence. The former part of the speech refers to Spadone and Morosa. Spa. Pish, no matter for that; dispatch, I entreat thee. Nit. Have patience, man; 'tis for his credit to be neat. Spa. What's that so cold at my throat, and scrubs so hard? Sec. A kind of steel instrument, ycleped a razor, a sharp tool and a keen; it has a certain virtue of cutting a throat, if a man please to give his mind to't-hold up your muzzle, signor-when did you talk bawdily to my wife last? tell me for your own good, signor, I advise you. Spa. I talk bawdily to thy wife? hang bawdry! Good now, mind thy business, lest thy hand slip. Nit. Give him kind words, you were best, for a toy that I know. Sec. Confess, or I shall mar your grace in whiffing tobacco, or squirting of sweet wines down your gullet-you have been offering to play the gelding we told you of, I suppose—speak truth,move the semicircle of your countenance to my left hand file,-out with the truth; would you have had a leap? Nit. Spadone, thou art in a lamentable pickle, have a good heart, and pray if thou canst; I pity thee. Spa. I protest and vow, friend Secco, I know no leaps, I. Sec. Lecherously goatish, and an eunuch! this cut, and then Spa. Confound thee, thy leaps and thy cuts! |