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Sir And. Nay, let him alone; I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Seb. Let go thy hand. Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. Seb. I will be free from thee. What wouldst
thou now? If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword.
[Draws. Sir To. What, what! Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.
Enter OLIVIA. Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee, hold. Sir To. Madam!
Oli. Will it be ever thus ? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my sight! Be not offended, dear Cesario : Rudesby, be gone!-1 pr’ythee, gentle friend,
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir ANDREW, and FABIAN. Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway In this uncivil and unjust extent 4 Against thy peace. Go with me to my house; And lụear thou there how many fruitless pranks This ruffian liath botch'd up 5, that thou thereby May'st smile at this: thou shalt not choose but go; Do not deny: Beshrew his soul for me, He started one poor heart of mine in thee.
Seb. What relish is in this 8? how runs the stream ? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:
3 Rude fellow.
4 Violence. 5 Made up:
6 Ill betide, ? An equivoque is here intended between hart and heart, they were formerly written alike.
8 i. e. bow does this taste? What judgment am I to make of it?
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
ruld by me! Seb. Madam, I will. Oli.
SCENE II. A Room in Olivia's House.
Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr’ythee, put on this
gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art Sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call Sir Toby the whilst.
Erit Maria, Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble 1 myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall 2 enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly as to say, a careful
The competitors 3 enter.
Enter Sir Toby Belch and MARIA. Sir To. Jore bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old hiermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that so I, being master parson, am master parson: For what is that, but that ? and is, but is 4 ? Sir To. To him, Sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say;-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well: a good knave.
1 i. e. disguise. Shakspeare has here used a Latinism. Dissimulo, to dissemble, to cloak, to hide , says Hutton's Dictionary, 1583. Aud Ovid, speaking of 'Achilles
Veste virum longa dissimulatus erat. ? The modern editors have changed this to fat without any apparent reason.
Mal. (in an inner chamber.] Who calls there?
Clo. Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic.
Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.
Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies ! Sir To. Well said, master parson.
Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in hideous darkness.
Clo. Fye, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark?
. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows 5 transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stories 6 towards the southnorth are as lustrous as ebony; and yet.complainest thou of obstruction?
Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark.
Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.
Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say,
Mal. As heli, Sir Topas...ouse,
5 Bayrwindows were targe projecting windows, probably 80 called because they occupied a whole bay or space between two cross beams in a building." Minshew gays a bay-window, so called because it is builded in mauner of a bay or road for ships, 'i. e. round.'
6 Clear stories, in Gothic architecture, denote the row of windows running along the upper part of a lofty hall or of a church, over the arches of the nave: q. d. a clear story, a story without jaists, rafters, or flooring. Over each side of the nave is a row of clere story windows, Ormerod's Hist. of Cheshire, i. 450. The first folio reads clear stores, the second folio clear stones, which was followed by all subsequent editors. The emendation and explauation are Mr. Blakeway's ; Randle Holme, however, in bis Academy of Armory, says that clear story windows are such windows that have no trangum or cross piece in the middle to break the same into two lights.'
there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question?.
Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl ?
Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill woodcock , lest thon dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas,Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas ! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters 9. Mar. Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown; he sees thee not.
Sir To, To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him; I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir Toby and MARIA.
7 Regular conversation.
8 The clown mentions a woodcock, because it was proverbial as a foolish bird, and therefore à proper ancestor for a man out of bis wits.
9 A proverbial phrase not yet satisfactorily explained. The meaning however appears to be 'I can turn my hand to any thing, or assume any character. Florio in his, translation of Montaigne, speaking of Aristotle, says he hath ah oar in every water, and meddleth with all things.' And in his Second Frutes, there is an expression more resembling the import of that in the text, a knight for all saddles.' Nash in his Lenten Stuffe , 1599, has almost the language of the clown.-'He is first broken to the sea in the Herring-man's skiffe or cock-boate, where having learned to brooke all waters, and drink as he can ont of a tarrie cap. Mason's conjecture that the allusion is to the water hue or colour of preciona stones is surely inadmissible.
Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin 10,
Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing Mal. Fool, Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy. Mal. Fool, Clo. Alas, why is she so? Mal. Fool, I say ;Clo. She loves another - Who calls, ha ? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.
Clo. Master Malvolio! Mal. Ay, good fool. Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits 11? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.
Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you
be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me 12; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits.
Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here, -Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas,
Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow 13. -Who, I, sir? not ), sir, God b'wi'you, good Sir Topas.—Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will. Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say.-Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir?
, Les I am shent 14 for speaking to you.
10 This ballad inay be found in Percy's Reliques of Ancient Poetry, vol. i. p. 194, ed: 1794. Dr.. Nott has also printed it among the poems of Sir Thomas Wiatt the elder, p. 188.
11 The five wits, in analogy to the five senses. It appears that the five wits were common wit, imagination, fantasy, estimation, memory.' Wit was then the general term for intellectual power. 12 Taken possession of:
13 The Clown, in the dark, acts two persons, and counterfeits, by variation of voice, a dialogue between himself and Sir Topas. 14 Scolded, reprimanded.