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Enter MARIA.
Mar. What a caterwauling do you keep here!
If my lady have not called up her steward, Malvo-
lio, and bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.

Sir To. My lady's a Cataian 11, we are politi-
cians; Malvolio's a Peg-a-Ramsey 12, and Three
merry men we be. Am not I consanguineous ? am
I not of her blood ? Tilley-valley 13, lady! There
dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady! [Singing.
Clo. Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.
Sir And. Ay, he does well enough, if he be dis-
posed, and so do I too; he does it with a better
grace, but I do it more natural.
Sir To. O, the twelfth day of December 14,

[Singing. Mar. For the love o' God, peace.

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Enter MALVOLIO, BO Mal. My masters, are you mad? or what are you? Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do you make an

alehouse of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your coziers' 15 catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice? Is there no respect of place persons, nor time, in you?

Sir To. We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck up 16!

Mal, Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me tell you,

that though she harbours you as her kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors, you are welcome to the house; if not, an it would please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell. Sir To. Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs

11 This word generally signified a sharper, Sir Toby is too drunk for precision, and uses it merely as a term of reproach.

12 Name of an obscene old song. 13 An interjection of contempt equivalent to fiddle-faddle, pos. sibly from the Latin Titivillitium.

14 Sir Toby, in his cups, is full of the fragments of old ballads; such as, There dwelt a man in Babylon. Three merry men are we, &c. The latter was composed by W. Lawes, and may be found in Playford's Musical Companion, 1673.

15 Cobblers, or botchers. Dr. Jolingon interprets it tailors, bat erroneously.

18 An interjection of contempt, signifying, go hang yourself, or go and be hanged.

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be gone.

Mar. Nay, good Sir Toby.
Clo. His eyes do shew his days are almost done.
Mal. Is't even so ?
Sir to. But I will never die.
Clo. Sir Toby, there you lie.
Mal. This is much credit to you.
Sir To. Shall I bid him go?

Singing.
Clo. What an if you do?
Sir To. Shall I bid him

go,
and
spare

not? Clo. O no, no, no, no, you dare not. Sir To. Out o'time? sir, ye lie. Art any more than a steward ? Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

Clo. Yes, by Saint Anne; and ginger shall be hot i'the mouth too.

Sir To. Thou’rt i'the right.-Go, sir, rub your chain 17 with crums:-A stoop of wine, Maria!

Mal. Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady's favour at any thing more than contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil rule 18; she shall know of it, by this hand.

Erit. Mar. Go shake your ears. Sir And. 'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's a hungry, to challenge him to the field; and then to break promise with him, and make a fool of him.

Sir To. Do't, knight; I'll write thee a challenge; or I'll deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.

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17 Stewards anciently wore a chain of silver or gold, as a mark of superiority, as did other principal servants. Vossey's chief cook is described by Cavendish as wearing, 'velvet or sattin with a chain of gold. One of the methods used to clean gilt plate was rubbing it with crums.

18 Behaviour, or conduct. Hence gambols and frolicsome bebaviour was called mis-rule.

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Mar. Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for to-night; since the youth of the count's was to-day with my lady, she is much ont of quiet. For monsieur Malvolio, let me alone with him: if I do not gull him into a nay-word 19 and make him a common retreation, do not think I have wit enough to lie straight in my bed: I know, I can do it.

Sir To. Possess us 20, possess us; tell us something of him.

Mar. Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of Puritan.

Sir And. O, if I thought that, I'd beat him like a dog.

Sir To. What, for being a Puritan? thy exquisite reason, dear knight?

Sir And. I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason good enough.

Mar. The devil a Puritan that he is, or any thing constantly but a time pleaser; an affectioned 21 ass, that cons state without book, and utters it by great swarths 22 : the best persuaded of himself, 80 crammed, as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is his ground of faith, that all, that took on him, love him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause to work. Sir To. What wilt thou do? Mar. I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love; wherein, by the colour of his beard, the shape of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself most feelingly personated: I can write very like my lady, your niece; on a forgotten matter we can hardly make distinction of our hands.

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Sir To. Excellent! I smell a device.
Sir And. I have't in my nose too.
.

19 By-word.
20 Inform us.
21 Affected.

22 i. e. by great parcels or heaps. Swarths are the rows of grass left by the scythe of the mower.

Sir To. He shall think, by the letters that thou wilt

drop, that they come from my niece, and that she is in love with him. Mar. My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour. Sir And. And your horse now would make him an ass. Mar. Ass, I doubt not. Sir And. 0, 'twill be admirable. Mar. Sport royal, I warrant you: I know, my physic will work with him. I will plant you two and let the fool make a third, where he shall find the letter; observe his construction of it. For this niset, to bed, and dream on the event. Farewell.

Erit. Sir To. Good night, Penthesilea 23. Sir And. Before me, she's a good wench. Sir To. She's a beagle, true bred, and one that adores me; What o that? Sir And. I was adored once too. Sir To. Let's to bed, knight.-Tkou hadst need send for more money,

Sir And. If I cannot recover your niece, I am a foul way out.

Sir To. Send for money, knight; if thou hast her not i' the end, call me Cut 24. Sir And. If I do not, never trust me, take it how

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you will.

Sir To. Come, come; I'll go burn some sack, 'tis too late to go to bed now: come, knight; come, knight.

[Exeunt. SCENE IV. A Room in the Duke's Palace.

Enter DUKE, VIOLA, CURIO, and others. Duke. Give me some music:-Now, good mor

row, friends :

23 Amazon.

24 This term of contempt probably signified call me gelding or horse. Falstaff, in Henry IV. Part 1 says Spit in my faoc, call me horse.t' It is of common occurrence in old plays. Cut was a common contraction of curtail. One of the carriers' borscs in the first part of Henry IV. is called Cut.

Now, good Cesario, but that piece of song,
That old and antique song we heard last night;
Methought, it did relieve my passion much,
More than light airs and recollected terms 1,
Of these most brisk and giddy-paced times:
Come, but one verse.

Cur. He is not here, so please your lordship, should sing it, Duke. Who was it?

Cur. Feste, the jester, my lord: a fool, that the lady Olivia's father took much delight in: he is about the house. Duke. Seek him out, and play the tune the while.

[Exit Curio.--Music. Come hither, boy; if ever thou shalt lore, In the sweet pangs of it, remember me: For, such as I am, all true lovers are; Unstaid and skittish in all motions else, Save, in the constant image of the creature That is belov'd.--How dost thou like this tune?

Vio. It gives a very echo to the seat Where Love is thron'd2.

Duke. Thou dost speak masterly:
My life upon't, young though thou art, thine eye
Hath stay'd upon some favour that it loves;
Hath it not, boy?
Vio.

A little, by your favour 3.
Duke. What kind of woman is't?
Vio

Of your complexion. Duke. She is not worth thee then. What years,

i'faith? Vio. About your years, my lord. Duke. Too old, by heaven; Let still the woman

take An elder than herself; so wears she to him, So sways she level in her husband's heart.

old, by

1 Rscalled, repeated terms, alluding to the repetitions in songo. 2 i. e, to the heart.

3 The word favour is ambiguously used. In the preceding speech It signified countenance.

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